Is sole custody a trump card for everything?

[LdiJ]

I know I don't have to take them, and that has been part of the debate between my ex and myself. She wants to sign them up for whatever activity, at whatever time and just expects me to comply because she has sole custody. I don't want to be that difficult, so I have been taking them to everything that is scheduled on my visistation time; even if it was something that I did not previously agree to.

That being said, I simply want to be properly notified when there are schedule changes and updates. A lot of that would be through the league website, but there is also more specific team info that my ex was not sharing. Ironicaly, she is (was) the team mom for football and she refused to give me the proper information.

I don't think I was asking too much, and for the best interest of the children I don't see why she is being so difficult with the communications.

Look dad, you have the right to school and doctor information. Your court order says so. So if the school or doctor refuses you access to "records maintained on behalf of the children" you have the right to take that up with the school or doctor. You have the right to show them your court orders and insist that they comply with allowing you access to the information.

Mom has sole custody so she basically has the right to make any decisions she likes about the children. You have the right to decide not to abide by her decisions when the children are with you. It sounds like mom has already solved that issue because she has removed the children from the activities that appeared to be problematic for you.

Mom also has the right to insist on following the court ordered schedule. You have the right to take it back to court to try to get the schedule changed if that schedule now interferes with your work schedule. You do not have the right to attempt to insist that mom "work with you" regarding schedule changes. Sure, it would be nice if she would, but she is not required to do so and a judge will not ding her for not doing so.

You honestly do not have anything here that is a significant change in circumstances for a change in custody.

 

[mrobison14]

Mom has sole custody so she basically has the right to make any decisions she likes about the children. You have the right to decide not to abide by her decisions when the children are with you. It sounds like mom has already solved that issue because she has removed the children from the activities that appeared to be problematic for you.

These activities are not problematic for me, I have been taking them to all of the practices and games. She just doesn't feel like sharing all of the information about the schedule and then we end up being late to practice because of it. As someone else stated, maybe I just make a new friend with another parent and get the information that way.

I didn't think there was much to change custody, but was hoping I had a few more "rights" to the information from the league in this case. From the sound of it, the league was willing to cooperate but she threw a stink about them communicating with me and decided to pull the kids out because of it.

My question to start this was about my ex using her sole custody position to block organizations from communicating. It sounds like in the sport league, she can do that; but that is a shame to be that petty. Didn't seem like such a serious legal issue to me, I just wanted to be in the loop when it comes to my kids activities.

 

[Silverplum]

I know I don't have to take them, and that has been part of the debate between my ex and myself. She wants to sign them up for whatever activity, at whatever time and just expects me to comply because she has sole custody. I don't want to be that difficult, so I have been taking them to everything that is scheduled on my visistation time; even if it was something that I did not previously agree to.

That being said, I simply want to be properly notified when there are schedule changes and updates. A lot of that would be through the league website, but there is also more specific team info that my ex was not sharing. Ironicaly, she is (was) the team mom for football and she refused to give me the proper information.

I don't think I was asking too much, and for the best interest of the children I don't see why she is being so difficult with the communications.

Hi, honey -- isn't it a few years too late to be posting on the forums? I mean, the kids are grown men now.



That was my amusing way of telling you that your situation sounds extremely familiar to me, with the exception of the "sole legal."

She's not going to change. Ever. Don't waste your time.

You're doing the best you can for your kids. My H (and I) also took his kids to all their stuff, despite Mom's utter lack of respect or cooperation. Despite Mom's boyfriend (the one at that time, not the other a year later, nor yet the one a couple of years later, nor yet the one she's living with currently) acting a jerk, once yanking the boys arms as they arrived with their Dad so they could hurry, hurry to the team photo of which my H had not been informed. Like the little photo was some State Secret, like it mattered in the first place, like either kid gives a crud now or then.

What matters to them is that their Dad kept his temper and didn't get arrested at their game for beating the snot out of Mom's latest piece. What matters to them is that their Dad went to all of their games.

Don't waste your time. That kind of endless petty crap will get you down.

Know that all this will end on a specific date, and then your relationship with each of your kids is just between you and that grown "kid." Know, also, that your kids will be driving themselves sooner than that.

 

[BL]

These activities are not problematic for me, I have been taking them to all of the practices and games. She just doesn't feel like sharing all of the information about the schedule and then we end up being late to practice because of it. As someone else stated, maybe I just make a new friend with another parent and get the information that way.

I didn't think there was much to change custody, but was hoping I had a few more "rights" to the information from the league in this case. From the sound of it, the league was willing to cooperate but she threw a stink about them communicating with me and decided to pull the kids out because of it.

My question to start this was about my ex using her sole custody position to block organizations from communicating. It sounds like in the sport league, she can do that; but that is a shame to be that petty. Didn't seem like such a serious legal issue to me, I just wanted to be in the loop when it comes to my kids activities.

There's nothing wrong morally or for the best interest of the child ,but legalities are what they are.

She appears to want you out of the picture altogether and the BF take your role .

Take it back to court to change visitation schedual and to ask no interference by 3rd parties.

 

[mrobison14]

Well she doesn't have a BF right now, that has gone up and down every six months or so for her. Seems like her emotions go along with the boyfriend rollercoaster.

I have since been remarried and have another child with my wife. We try to live life relaxed and use rationalization and common sense when it comes to things with my ex. It doesn't bother us as much as it bothers her, and we try to take her actions for what they are worth. It just hurts to watch my kids have to go through life like that.

I will be filing for visitation modification and will include the no interference by 3rd parties. Thanks for the tip!

 

[CJane]

How old are your kids?

 

[mrobison14]

Our kids are 7 years old and 5 years old