don't know what to do about this situation

[mordekai90]

i live in michigan. monroe county to be precise. i am getting a divorce and i have a child that does not live with me. my soon to be ex wife is trying to say that i was abusing her about 3 years ago. she is rumored to be getting a witness which is her friend that used to live with us at that time. i was wondering if that would be dismissed as hearsay. i never abused her. just to add that point.

 

[Proserpina]

i live in michigan. monroe county to be precise. i am getting a divorce and i have a child that does not live with me. my soon to be ex wife is trying to say that i was abusing her about 3 years ago. she is rumored to be getting a witness which is her friend that used to live with us at that time. i was wondering if that would be dismissed as hearsay. i never abused her. just to add that point.

The court will wonder why Mom didn't report the alleged abuse. And if the "friend" was aware of the abuse, why didn't SHE do anything about it?

Unfortunately Dad, this is not uncommon in divorce actions. The best thing you can do quite honestly is get an attorney. Keep your nose clean and don't give Mom any ammunition to use against you.

 

[Bali Hai]

The court will wonder why Mom didn't report the alleged abuse. And if the "friend" was aware of the abuse, why didn't SHE do anything about it?

Unfortunately Dad, this is not uncommon in divorce actions. The best thing you can do quite honestly is get an attorney. Keep your nose clean and don't give Mom any ammunition to use against you.

Do you have some examples for OP?

 

[mmmagique]

Do you have some examples for OP?

Behaving like an ass, ranting, raving, making threats against her or her witness, the list is endless!

 

[Proserpina]

Do you have some examples for OP?

Oh absolutely, Bali! (I hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving!)


As Mmmagique listed some already, I can only suggest the very simple "Keep your nose cleaner than a Very Clean Whistle", and perhaps searching for posts by the now-infamous "signspinner". I can post links for our OP if necessary, but they essentially describe exactly how NOT to handle a custody case.

We cannot really address the issue of alimony, because OP hasn't given any relevant details on which we can comment.

 

[Bali Hai]

Behaving like an ass, ranting, raving, making threats against her or her witness, the list is endless!

But is it ok for OP's wife to behave like an ass, ranting, raving, making threats against him and make false allegations? Shouldn't she also be keeping her nose clean?

 

[Bali Hai]

Oh absolutely, Bali! (I hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving!)


As Mmmagique listed some already, I can only suggest the very simple "Keep your nose cleaner than a Very Clean Whistle", and perhaps searching for posts by the now-infamous "signspinner". I can post links for our OP if necessary, but they essentially describe exactly how NOT to handle a custody case.

We cannot really address the issue of alimony, because OP hasn't given any relevant details on which we can comment.

Seems you suggest OP to "Keep your nose cleaner than a Very Clean Whistle" while the stbx goes on her merry way wreaking havoc with impunity. Seems a bit of a double standard. But that's what you get when laws are enacted out of hysteria.

Since you brought up alimony, OP can probably expect that card to be played at some point.

 

[ecmst12]

If she were here asking for advice, that is what she'd be told. But she's not, so advising her would be pretty pointless.

 

[Proserpina]

Seems you suggest OP to "Keep your nose cleaner than a Very Clean Whistle" while the stbx goes on her merry way wreaking havoc with impunity. Seems a bit of a double standard. But that's what you get when laws are enacted out of hysteria.

You can read into things as much as you want, m'dear.

Since you brought up alimony, OP can probably expect that card to be played at some point.

Since we have absolutely NO facts even suggesting the possibility, you "seem" to be suggesting something that's really not there.

Double standard?

 

[LdiJ]

i live in michigan. monroe county to be precise. i am getting a divorce and i have a child that does not live with me. my soon to be ex wife is trying to say that i was abusing her about 3 years ago. she is rumored to be getting a witness which is her friend that used to live with us at that time. i was wondering if that would be dismissed as hearsay. i never abused her. just to add that point.

Just an FYI hearsay is when something is brought up in court and the person is not there to be able to be cross examined. So, your ex bringing a witness to court is not hearsay. Your ex bringing a letter from the person to court would be hearsay.

 

[mmmagique]

But is it ok for OP's wife to behave like an ass, ranting, raving, making threats against him and make false allegations? Shouldn't she also be keeping her nose clean?

Why yes, yes she should. Was she here asking for advice as well?

 

[latigo]

i live in michigan. monroe county to be precise. i am getting a divorce and i have a child that does not live with me. my soon to be ex wife is trying to say that i was abusing her about 3 years ago. she is rumored to be getting a witness which is her friend that used to live with us at that time. i was wondering if that would be dismissed as hearsay. i never abused her. just to add that point.

Hearsay or no hearsay, if your attorney makes a timely objection, your estranged wife will not be able to introduce any such prior incidents – true or make believe- as evidence in the divorce action!

Her voluntarily cohabiting with you after the supposed fact constitutes her condonation or forgiveness of any such alleged misconduct and would not be inadmissible for any purpose.

The only exceptions would be that it were shown to be evidence of continual, or a pattern of abuse, or that her subsequent cohabiting with you was coerced or somehow not deemed voluntary.

 

[latigo]

The court will wonder why Mom didn't report the alleged abuse . . . blah, blah . . .

For you much needed edification on subject matter that you know nothing about, the family court judge IS NOT “going to wonder why Mom didn’t report the abuse”!

Why? Because of a universal principal of family law – of which you are also ignorant - known as CONDONATION!

If objections to the admission of such stale and remote evidence are not raised on behalf of the husband, the court will exclude it on its own volition. They are not going to tolerate listening to a divorce litigant harp and harangue about dirty linen that has since been washed! Understand?

With all the respect due you, it would be well from the standpoint of your unwary and innocent audience that you listen more and talk less because you repeatedly demonstrate, as here that you have no formal legal training to call upon.

The result being to frequently mislead and confuse the OP. As here where you have likely encouraged the husband of his need to seek witnesses, proof, prepare for cross-examination of her and her witness(s), etc., in order to refute evidence in the divorce trial that won’t even be admitted!

If you think that is being helpful, then you have a far different agenda and sense of responsibility that an unwary OP could reasonably expect.

 

[tranquility]

I thought condonation was a defense in an at fault state and not a rule of evidence.

Live and learn.