Advice

[Proserpina]

OP, please ignore Bali.

If you would like confirmation of who knows what here (so you can check who is and isn't a reliable source ), check the post history of those who have responded.

 

[cbg]

As another poster said in another thread, if she causes him to lose his livelihood she will be in big trouble.

Not quite the same thing, Bali. If he's using company time and resources to blackmail his wife and his company takes exception to that, that's not on her. That's a legitimate reason for firing him whether she brings it to their attention or whether they discover it on their own (which they very well can).

And yes, I would say exactly the same thing if the genders were reversed, so don't give me any crap.

 

[Bali Hai]

Not quite the same thing, Bali. If he's using company time and resources to blackmail his wife and his company takes exception to that, that's not on her. That's a legitimate reason for firing him whether she brings it to their attention or whether they discover it on their own (which they very well can).

And yes, I would say exactly the same thing if the genders were reversed, so don't give me any crap.

Not surprising that all of your presumptions point to the husband as the person in the wrong, after all they always do. Also not surprising that more weight is given here if a woman's livelihood is messed with.

We don't know that he sent any "blackmail". Nor whether it happened on employer time or from his company email account on his own time.

Not trying to give you any crap, you obviously have enough of your own.

 

[quincy]

Not surprising that all of your presumptions point to the husband as the person in the wrong, after all they always do. Also not surprising that more weight is given here if a woman's livelihood is messed with.

We don't know that he sent any "blackmail". Nor whether it happened on employer time or from his company email account on his own time.

Not trying to give you any crap, you obviously have enough of your own.

Hey, Bali Hai. You are right that we don't have all of the facts, especially since the original poster is posting on behalf of her friend.

With that said, the information provided and the advice offered so far has been good information and advice for rk403 to pass on to her friend, so her friend can address the issues with her attorney.

Divorcing spouses should not make threats of harm, regardless of which spouse is doing the threatening. In this described situation, it is the husband threatening the wife, and he shouldn't do that. His threats can result in criminal charges, a tort action and, potentially, the loss of his job.

 

[cbg]

And, it is specifically stated that his work email was used. That is a termination offense regardless of who brings it to their attention.

If a wife were making similar threats against her husband, using her work email, that would also be a termination offense. No one said that one was a worse offense than the other.

 

[Proserpina]

Not trying to give you any crap, you obviously have enough of your own.

Yes, yes, we get it. You are still paying alimony. You're completely in the right and all women are evil.

Now what was it again you advised the OP, legally speaking? Maybe your advice got lost?

 

[Bali Hai]

Hey, Bali Hai. You are right that we don't have all of the facts, especially since the original poster is posting on behalf of her friend.

With that said, the information provided and the advice offered so far has been good information and advice for rk403 to pass on to her friend, so her friend can address the issues with her attorney.

Divorcing spouses should not make threats of harm, regardless of which spouse is doing the threatening. In this described situation, it is the husband threatening the wife, and he shouldn't do that. The threats can result in criminal charges, a tort action and, potentially, the loss of his job.

My ex said she was going to financially ruin me. Should I have had her arrested?

I'm astounded that the advice given here for men amounts to hell, fire, brimstone and damnation. While advice for the other gender is sugar and spice and all things nice.

 

[Bali Hai]

Yes, yes, we get it. You are still paying alimony. You're completely in the right and all women are evil.

Now what was it again you advised the OP, legally speaking? Maybe your advice got lost?

My advice to OP:

Keep your nose out of other people's legal business and look for trouble elsewhere like gossiping in the beauty salon.

 

[Bali Hai]

And, it is specifically stated that his work email was used. That is a termination offense regardless of who brings it to their attention.

If a wife were making similar threats against her husband, using her work email, that would also be a termination offense. No one said that one was a worse offense than the other.

Maybe he mistakenly used the work email account when he was on his own time. I know you don't want to think of that possibility because this doesn't fit with hanging him by the balls.

 

[Zigner]

Maybe he mistakenly used the work email account when he was on his own time. I know you don't want to think of that possibility because this doesn't fit with hanging him by the balls.

I suppose we could come up with maybes all day. Maybe a group of leprechauns snuck in to the office after hours and sent the email.

 

[Bali Hai]

I suppose we could come up with maybes all day. Maybe a group of leprechauns snuck in to the office after hours and sent the email.

Or I suppose we could all go hysterical and presume the email was sent from the office from the office computer during working hours. It just couldn't have been sent from anywhere else at any other time!

 

[Zigner]

Or I suppose we could all go hysterical and presume the email was sent from the office from the office computer during working hours. It just couldn't have been sent from anywhere else!

Nobody (save you) has gone hysterical. The most likely explanation for an email sent using a work email address is that it was sent from work. That's just common sense.

 

[Bali Hai]

Nobody (save you) has gone hysterical. The most likely explanation for an email sent using a work email address is that it was sent from work. That's just common sense.

You have just failed IT 101 miserably.

 

[cbg]

And EVEN IF he accessed his work email from home on his own time, it's still a termination offense. Regardless of whether he is male or female.

Rule of thumb: If you want to send threatening emails to your ex and not have it affect your job, use your personal email.

 

[Zigner]

You have just failed IT 101 miserably.

My statement has nothing to do with IT. Bali - seriously - you should avoid using Sharpies to write your alimony checks. The smell is getting to you...