Whose weekend is it?

[SESmama]

Would the above not depend on if the order indicates the weekend is set by the ordinal of the Friday? Since it isn't necessarily a standard order I would hate to assume.

 

[kaizen]

Thank you for the feedback.

The order says my time is from Good Friday through the entire break. That then includes the next two weekends. So if those two weekends are holiday times, do I get a "regular" weekend in April...which was basically the onus of the original question, since Dad's position was that he got the holiday weekends and then his regular weekend(s) also.

I guess I'm asking if that logic is then flip flopped, or is that nope - I already had my weekend in April so I don't get any more?

 

[Silverplum]

Thank you for the feedback.

The order says my time is from Good Friday through the entire break. That then includes the next two weekends. So if those two weekends are holiday times, do I get a "regular" weekend in April...which was basically the onus of the original question, since Dad's position was that he got the holiday weekends and then his regular weekend(s) also.

I guess I'm asking if that logic is then flip flopped, or is that nope - I already had my weekend in April so I don't get any more?

My position is that the custodial parent has more time with the child, and should be gracious to the noncustodial parent, who does not have the daily pleasure of their child's company.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you for the feedback.

The order says my time is from Good Friday through the entire break. That then includes the next two weekends. So if those two weekends are holiday times, do I get a "regular" weekend in April...which was basically the onus of the original question, since Dad's position was that he got the holiday weekends and then his regular weekend(s) also.

I guess I'm asking if that logic is then flip flopped, or is that nope - I already had my weekend in April so I don't get any more?

You get the first weekend in April. If that is encompassed in your holiday time then you don't get another weekend to make up your first weekend in April. Unless dad agrees. Why is this so difficult. And I also agree with Silverplum.

 

[kaizen]

OG-

I'm sorry that you're finding it so difficult. I understand. There's many things I struggle with and find difficult too. When you asked why this is so difficult, I felt badly that you'd even stop to ponder the question. We all do hard things. But by all means, please know there's no hard feelings if you just pass this question by. I don't need to add anything hard to anyone's day. There's enough of that in everyday life anyhow.

That being said, I do appreciate you trying to reach out in spite of your difficulty.

 

[Ohiogal]

OG-

I'm sorry that you're finding it so difficult. I understand. There's many things I struggle with and find difficult too. When you asked why this is so difficult, I felt badly that you'd even stop to ponder the question. We all do hard things. But by all means, please know there's no hard feelings if you just pass this question by. I don't need to add anything hard to anyone's day. There's enough of that in everyday life anyhow.

That being said, I do appreciate you trying to reach out in spite of your difficulty.

You also have an issue with reading comprehension. YOU didn't comprehend that the difficulty is yours in understanding your court order and apparently following it. You get the first weekend of the month unless you and your ex agree on another weekend. Most likely he won't agree based on your postings. So if Easter is your weekend and that is the first weekend of April, you don't get another weekend. It is simple English. Is English your second language?

 

[LdiJ]

OG-

I'm sorry that you're finding it so difficult. I understand. There's many things I struggle with and find difficult too. When you asked why this is so difficult, I felt badly that you'd even stop to ponder the question. We all do hard things. But by all means, please know there's no hard feelings if you just pass this question by. I don't need to add anything hard to anyone's day. There's enough of that in everyday life anyhow.

That being said, I do appreciate you trying to reach out in spite of your difficulty.

I personally do not like orders that give the bulk of the weekends to just one parent. I think it is unfair to the child to give all of the quality time to one parent. Therefore, if I were in your shoes I would take it back to court and ask the judge to modify the orders. I would ask the judge to order that if you miss your one weekend a month due to a holiday belonging to dad, that you get to make up that weekend by taking another weekend during the month...or even ask the judge to order that you share the weekends fairly (every other weekend) and perhaps give some weekday time to dad.

 

[Just Blue]

You also have an issue with reading comprehension. YOU didn't comprehend that the difficulty is yours in understanding your court order and apparently following it. You get the first weekend of the month unless you and your ex agree on another weekend. Most likely he won't agree based on your postings. So if Easter is your weekend and that is the first weekend of April, you don't get another weekend. It is simple English. Is English your second language?

Per the Px Hx....ONLY if OP doesn't agree with the advice.

 

[gam]

I personally do not like orders that give the bulk of the weekends to just one parent. I think it is unfair to the child to give all of the quality time to one parent. Therefore, if I were in your shoes I would take it back to court and ask the judge to modify the orders. I would ask the judge to order that if you miss your one weekend a month due to a holiday belonging to dad, that you get to make up that weekend by taking another weekend during the month...or even ask the judge to order that you share the weekends fairly (every other weekend) and perhaps give some weekday time to dad.

Per OP, dad got the 3 weekends a decade ago due to both their working schedules at the time. Per OP, when their schedules changed she tried to have this changed, but dad still got 3 weekends, the only thing that got changed was if they can't agree on the weekend, OP would get the 1st weekend. Since this 3 weekend order was made a decade ago, why is it that she just now is not understanding how her schedule works?

Per posting HX, lots of crap between OP and her ex. Summer their plan changes to 50/50, not the standard. There is some reason she didn't get this changed before and there is some reason they felt the need to do a 50/50 in the summer. OP should consider all of that, and by taking this back over the weekends, she may find that dad ends up with 50/50 all year long. That would fix her current problem though of not getting every other weekend.

 

[kaizen]

Things did actually change more than that though, gam. At the time you mention, Dad had all weekends. I asked for EO. Judge split the difference at three out of four. (If you look again, that is what I wrote further up the thread).

The recent 50/50 on the summer was a concession I made when his attempt at becoming custodial parent failed. And when I ran the numbers, 50/50 vs what he was getting amounted to an extra 4 days. I gladly said: have at it. *Which was all surprising anyhow, given that Dad did not want any summer time for years.

Dad would not get 50/50. At the time he was screaming he wants more time - he moved farther away. He lives 45 miles away. I think he just likes to fight; I am not biting.

The reason the understanding is not there now is we have always done it where I got a weekend - first one on typical months, second on months when Dad had first due to him having a holiday. And we have always done it if my holiday was the first weekend of month, I'd get another additional weekend (believing that holiday time was extra time). So now Dad is suddenly saying that is not how it's supposed to work and I'm doing the reasonable thing by keeping an open mind and asking questions here rather than digging my heels in. And in asking the questions, I've come to see that we may indeed have had it wrong all those years and I'm willing to acknowledge that. But that, to answer your question, is where the confusion came from.

Just to be clear, I never mentioned a thing in the thread about contempt charges, or going back to court for an EOW schedule. I'm just here asking and learning with an open, discerning mind.