Splitting Expenses

[MomGT123]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

Basic info:
Dad and I will be moving to a 50/50 schedule for our two kids this summer (Ages 6 & 8)

I am moving into their school district to make this possible

We have both agreed to split all expenses for the kids in half (except for day to day ones when they're with us)

Our current parenting plan is very generalized and doesn't cover any of this. Until now, we have agreed on everything, we get along very well. We're not even arguing at this point, just discussing things.

I currently pay support to him and will continue to do so until the new schedule begins.

There are a few questions I have and I would love the opinion of others to see if I am being reasonable or too nitpicky.

1. Dad currently has insurance on them that is expensive compared to what I would normally be able to get for them through my job. However, there is a possibility that I will be let go within the next year (pending merger) so I don't want to add them onto my policy just to have to switch them to COBRA, which is much more expensive. Dad has taken the monthly cost of his insurance policy which covers him, our two kids and his step-child, and split it into four equal parts. He is asking for me to pay 1/4 of the total cost so I would be paying for one child and he would be paying for the other. I know that insurance premiums are normally not the same amount for each person that you add onto the policy. What I proposed is taking the difference between what he pays now for everyone and what he would pay for just himself and splitting that difference into thirds. That is the amount that it is costing him to have the kids on his policy and then I would be responsible for one child or 1/3 of that cost (remember, the step-child is on there as well so I'm including that in the calculation).

2. I also asked if we could move the kids to a policy that I would be able to get through work (once I either know if I will be able to stay with the company or am eligible for insurance through a new job) if the benefits are at least equal and the premiums are substantially less. I realize he still has a step-child to insure and often the cost is the same no matter how many children are on the policy. Should I just continue to allow him to cover them and pay the more expensive premiums because of the step-child or am I reasonable in asking to have them covered on an equal, but less expensive policy?

3. For Christmas, he got our oldest child an IPhone (Please, no judgements. I know the opinion on this varies greatly). I seem to remember him telling me at the time that it wasn't costing him anything extra to add that line to his plan. Or it could have been just a little bit more, but I do remember thinking that was a great deal either way. He is splitting his current phone bill into four (the number of people on it) and asking that I pay half of one of those parts. However, I think that we should only be splitting the additional money it costs him every month now that our child is on his plan instead of 1/4 of the total bill.

4. I was able to research several policies available where his current insurance policy comes from. In reviewing that and taking away what he is asking I pay for the phone (assuming it didn't cost him any extra), the total difference for me is about $100/month. I know that may not seem like a lot to some people but that is significant for me, especially since I will be spending at least what I used to pay in child support to support both kids when they're with me. This includes splitting any other costs they have like their after-school activities and so on.

Please let me know which way you each believe is fair. I don�t want to cheat him out of any money but I don't want to pay an amount that is unfair to me either.

 

[CJane]

1. I would refuse to pay ANY of the cell phone bill. That was a gift he CHOSE to give to the child, and NOT your problem. That'd be like getting the child a puppy, and insisting you cover half the food and vet bills. Nope.

2. There is probably a standard way that your state divvies up the cost of insurance when taking it into account for child support. See if you can find that in the child support guidelines, and use it. It's probably NOT what either of you are trying to do.

This is how my state does it:
Father has a health insurance policy available through his employer at no cost for himself alone and at a cost of $200.00 per month for his family, which includes his current spouse and five children, three of whom are children of his marriage to Mother. In a proceeding to modify Father's child support obligation under the judgment of dissolution of his marriage to Mother, the monthly health insurance cost includable in Form No. 14 is calculated as follows:

Total monthly premium ($200) multiplied by number of children in this proceeding (3) divided by total persons insured by premium (6) equals monthly health insurance credit to include on Form 14 ($100).

 

[stealth2]

Given the uncertainty of your employment? I would leave the kids on his plan. And yes, taking away what he would pay for himself vs what it costs to include the kids is reasonable. THen you split the cost of yoru kids on that plan.

The phone... Did he consult wit you before getting the child a phone? If yes? You split it. If no? His expense, IMO.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

He is asking that YOU pay for a portion of HIS phone service. If you both agreed to the phone, then split the cost of the child's phone.

I agree with cJane and see what your state does with the costs of health premiums. The reality is that most times, the cost is PRETAX. That means that in the end, it is less than the $$ costs associated with it.

As for your insurance, you can always go with your insurance. In the event that you don't continue to be employed by the company, that is a life event that would allow you to put them on dad's insurance.

 

[MomGT123]

I will definitely look up Texas guidelines to see what the standard is for splitting insurance costs. His premiums are paid after tax since he gets insurance through the school he is attending.

Dad did run it by me before he actually purchased the phone so I'm fine with splitting the actual cost of that extra line....just not the entire bill, like you all mentioned. It also makes us both feel a little better knowing that our child can get a hold of either one of us or another family member in the case of an emergency if they're not at home at the time.

I was thinking along the lines of Stealth in keeping the kids where they are insurance-wise just because I don't want to switch them right now and have to tell Dad to put them back on his plan within the year. However, I would like to switch them over if I find that I will be staying with the company or get a new job that offers good insurance.

Thank you for input

 

[gam]

I will definitely look up Texas guidelines to see what the standard is for splitting insurance costs. His premiums are paid after tax since he gets insurance through the school he is attending.

Dad did run it by me before he actually purchased the phone so I'm fine with splitting the actual cost of that extra line....just not the entire bill, like you all mentioned. It also makes us both feel a little better knowing that our child can get a hold of either one of us or another family member in the case of an emergency if they're not at home at the time.

I was thinking along the lines of Stealth in keeping the kids where they are insurance-wise just because I don't want to switch them right now and have to tell Dad to put them back on his plan within the year. However, I would like to switch them over if I find that I will be staying with the company or get a new job that offers good insurance.

Thank you for input

While your in those quidelines, look up how Texas determines who is to carry the insurance. Many states have guidelines on this, cost can factor into it. If dad was ordered to carry insurance, and you want to change it you would need him to agree. If he won't agree, knowing these guidelines can help you determine if this is something you could have changed in court.

 

[MomGT123]

I would like to switch them over to my insurance in the future to save money, but if we can't agree on that I'm not going to go to court over it. Up to this point (5 yrs), we've worked everything out between ourselves and ignore our parenting plan (which really only states who the kids live with, visitation and holidays). Worst case, that's the only thing we can't agree on then I'll live with that one thing. I know how much worse it could be by reading these boards and going through a visitation battle with my husband for his child.

 

[ecmst12]

1/3 of the difference between employee-only coverage and employee + family is probably MORE than 1/4 the total cost of the premium. Most employers cover most of the cost of the employee's premium but little or none of the family cost. It might cost $50 for the employee and $350 for the employee + family...which means 1/4 of the total is $87.50, 1/3 of the difference is $100. So it is definitely NOT something I would bother dickering over. If he will agree to 1/4 the total cost, take it.

 

[MomGT123]

"1/3 of the difference between employee-only coverage and employee + family is probably MORE than 1/4 the total cost of the premium. Most employers cover most of the cost of the employee's premium but little or none of the family cost. It might cost $50 for the employee and $350 for the employee + family...which means 1/4 of the total is $87.50, 1/3 of the difference is $100. So it is definitely NOT something I would bother dickering over. If he will agree to 1/4 the total cost, take it. ."


In his particular situation, 1/4 is more just because his does not come from an employer so he is paying in full for himself as well as the children. If it was a normal employer plan, you're right in that the way I am suggesting to him could likely cost more. However, from what I looked at his school's website the extra cost of adding the kids onto his plan is far less (when that difference is split into 3) than paying 1/4 of the entire cost. If the difference between both ways was just a few dollars over or under I wouldn't even bother bringing it up to him. But I do totally agree that what you wrote up above is normally how it would come out...I know with the insurance I get through work, that's how it is.

 

[birdbrain53]

I just added an iPhone 5 to my existing plan. Besides buying the phone, my plan cost $10 for the extra line and $30 for the cheapest data plan, voice minutes are shared. So to split the cost 50-50 would mean $20 equal shares. I can't imagine it being much more unless Dad got more data time.

Insurance: Keep kids on Dad's if you are concerned about your job.

You said:
In his particular situation, 1/4 is more just because his does not come from an employer so he is paying in full for himself as well as the children. If it was a normal employer plan, you're right in that the way I am suggesting to him could likely cost more. However, from what I looked at his school's website the extra cost of adding the kids onto his plan is far less (when that difference is split into 3) than paying 1/4 of the entire cost. If the difference between both ways was just a few dollars over or under I wouldn't even bother bringing it up to him. But I do totally agree that what you wrote up above is normally how it would come out...I know with the insurance I get through work, that's how it is.

I would use the information from the website to counter his proposal.

 

[MomGT123]

I just added an iPhone 5 to my existing plan. Besides buying the phone, my plan cost $10 for the extra line and $30 for the cheapest data plan, voice minutes are shared. So to split the cost 50-50 would mean $20 equal shares. I can't imagine it being much more unless Dad got more data time.

That's what I thought, except I don't know if he added any data time because I know both kids that are on that plan aren't allowed to download things without a password. That could be b/c of limited data or security...not sure which one. He was asking for $35 for half of our child's portion and I knew there was no way that it cost him $70 more to add our child onto his plan. He added another person onto the plan at the same time so I highly doubt that he just upped his phone bill by $140 for both new lines.

Insurance: Keep kids on Dad's if you are concerned about your job.

You said:
In his particular situation, 1/4 is more just because his does not come from an employer so he is paying in full for himself as well as the children. If it was a normal employer plan, you're right in that the way I am suggesting to him could likely cost more. However, from what I looked at his school's website the extra cost of adding the kids onto his plan is far less (when that difference is split into 3) than paying 1/4 of the entire cost. If the difference between both ways was just a few dollars over or under I wouldn't even bother bringing it up to him. But I do totally agree that what you wrote up above is normally how it would come out...I know with the insurance I get through work, that's how it is.

I would use the information from the website to counter his proposal.

That's what I was thinking as well instead of playing musical insurance plans. He hasn't responded to me yet but if he comes back and is trying to argue the insurance aspect, that's exactly what I was going to do. There are several different plans but all of them have about half of the total cost allocated to just the student and the other half covering as many children as you have in the family.

Right now, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that he wasn't thinking in these terms when he gave me those figures for the phone and insurance. That's not like him to try and trick me into doing/paying for something that I shouldn't be. I'll know when I get his response or he calls me whether it was a honest mistake on his part or not. I'll make sure I give an update when I hear back from him.

 

[TheGeekess]

That's what I thought, except I don't know if he added any data time because I know both kids that are on that plan aren't allowed to download things without a password. That could be b/c of limited data or security...not sure which one. He was asking for $35 for half of our child's portion and I knew there was no way that it cost him $70 more to add our child onto his plan. He added another person onto the plan at the same time so I highly doubt that he just upped his phone bill by $140 for both new lines.



That's what I was thinking as well instead of playing musical insurance plans. He hasn't responded to me yet but if he comes back and is trying to argue the insurance aspect, that's exactly what I was going to do. There are several different plans but all of them have about half of the total cost allocated to just the student and the other half covering as many children as you have in the family.

Right now, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that he wasn't thinking in these terms when he gave me those figures for the phone and insurance. That's not like him to try and trick me into doing/paying for something that I shouldn't be. I'll know when I get his response or he calls me whether it was a honest mistake on his part or not. I'll make sure I give an update when I hear back from him.

I just added The Teen to my cell phone plan. Yes, it cost $70/month MORE to add her to the account.

 

[ecmst12]

A smartphone requires a data plan, they won't let you buy a data-capable phone with no data plan.

 

[MomGT123]

A smartphone requires a data plan, they won't let you buy a data-capable phone with no data plan.

I understand what you are saying (you too, TheGeekess), but they already had two IPhone's on this same plan and I distinctively remember him telling me how it was costing him hardly anything to add two more lines on. So when he said our child's portion was $70, that sounded a lot different from what he said at the time he got the phone.

 

[MomGT123]

Update

My ex and I did talk, although I don't feel as if we got much accomplished. I told him that I questioned the phone amount b/c I had not heard a single word about it since he told me that it cost him barely anything to add our son on. So now I'm trying to work with him since I know our child connects his phone to my internet when at my house so he doesn't use data. As long as he's not using data on his Dad's plan when he's with me, then why should I pay the data used throughout the month when he's not with me? I did ask if there is anything that our child could do when connected to my Wifi that would sill cause his data to be used to be sure that I'm being fair and I also advised putting a limit on the phone use. He doesn't need to be on it playing games ALL day long either. It would be nice to have him interact with family every once in a while. Even if his dad disagrees with that, that will be a rule while he's at my house.

The insurance issue was glossed over so I'm bringing it back up to try and explain that I'm fine with paying a portion of the cost to add our kids onto his policy but not willing to split the entire policy into equal parts when just my ex's portion is approximately half of the entire premium.

I also added that if we are going to split these types of expenses, then I should be part of the decision regarding what plan to utilize. It's not fair for him to choose whatever insurance/phone plan he wants and then just expect me to split the cost. If we work together to choose a plan then we are in mutual agreement and it leaves no room for one parent to feel like they're paying for something that they didn't agree to. For example, I could have found an insurance policy much less than $100/month for one child (even though I know that some people have no choice, we did and he didn't give me the opportunity to enroll them in a less expensive policy). I figure no use in making major decisions right now but at the end of the year, we should sit down together and look at our various options.