What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma, Cleveland County Courts.
Short Background: My Sons Father and I had a brutal custody battle when he was 3. Started when I asked for child support, grew into a custody battle. Myself not having much court experience thought it was a simple enough case of money dispute and did not go in prepared. They came in with TONS of accusations, and basically made me look like a piece of crap trailor trash, and him, this poor victimized loving father. I lost custody of my son to him, and ended up paying him child support and getting every other weekend visits with my son. This is esp devestating bc he was never an active part of my sons life until he met his gf, now wife, who over the years almost appears to be trying to be my sons mom, and phase me out completely.
The four instances of unappropriate statements: When son was about 4, he told me of a game he played with his step mom. They made a fold out paper game, the kind you put on your hand, write things on each flap, pick a number, count open and shutting the flaps til you hit your number. They were writing funny things on each flap. He wrote 'you eat spiders.' She wrote 'you dance naked'. I asked him did you do the things on the flaps. He said no, it was just funny stuff.
2. When my son was 5, she was preg with her 1st child, his half brother. She told him that she was scared to have a baby bc it was going to come out of her private. And milk was going to come out of her boobs. He told me this, bc he told me 'I know where babies come from' I said 'where' he said all this, told me she told him bc he asked. I was furious, but didn't mention to his dad or her.
3. Im not sure how the conversation started, but last summer (7 yrs.) somehow she told my son that if someone gets pregnant and doesnt want to have a baby, they can go to a dr. and he will kill it. (abortion.)
4. He is now 8. She recently told him that they want to have another baby. Somehow this brought on a conversation inwhich she told him her and his dad have to have s-e-x to make the baby. I asked him 'do you know what that means?' he said 'no.' So I left it at that. My son has never even kissed a girl and is still at that girls are icky stage. I don't understand why she keeps telling him weird things, or what will be next if I don't do SOMETHING.!!
She has been around my son since he was 3. She used to call herself "Mommy _______" in the beginning, which my son quickly took to. Then after they got custody, he started calling her "mom" and me "mommy." This has only recently appeared to have ceased bc iv brought it up anytime iv seen it (to sons dad) After I lost custody, they were alienating very badly, planning his time around his step mom, she does his school functions (im not even told usually) building close relationships with daycare and teachers so I appear as the deadbeat mom. I even recieved a text from step mom inwhich she was bad mouthing me and meant to send to daycare teacher. Some of that has died down, as its been 4 years and I think her insecurity has gotten better. But I am still in search of answers. I don't really want to just have a talk with them, bc that always ends up in disagreeance and accomplishing nothing. I know he will excuse her actions or brush off. What else can I do? am I wrong to be so upset? I can just see the writing on the wall for my son. Her continuing to tell him weird things and in turn, making him weird. I should also mention that everyone who knows her (inlaws and old high school friends) thing she is a bit on the psycho side. I've talked to a lawyer about having her mentally evaluated, to deem if she's fit but this is very intense and expensive. Am I wrong to be apprehensive about this? Need good solid advice from someone with experience!
Short Background: My Sons Father and I had a brutal custody battle when he was 3. Started when I asked for child support, grew into a custody battle. Myself not having much court experience thought it was a simple enough case of money dispute and did not go in prepared. They came in with TONS of accusations, and basically made me look like a piece of crap trailor trash, and him, this poor victimized loving father. I lost custody of my son to him, and ended up paying him child support and getting every other weekend visits with my son. This is esp devestating bc he was never an active part of my sons life until he met his gf, now wife, who over the years almost appears to be trying to be my sons mom, and phase me out completely.
The four instances of unappropriate statements: When son was about 4, he told me of a game he played with his step mom. They made a fold out paper game, the kind you put on your hand, write things on each flap, pick a number, count open and shutting the flaps til you hit your number. They were writing funny things on each flap. He wrote 'you eat spiders.' She wrote 'you dance naked'. I asked him did you do the things on the flaps. He said no, it was just funny stuff.
2. When my son was 5, she was preg with her 1st child, his half brother. She told him that she was scared to have a baby bc it was going to come out of her private. And milk was going to come out of her boobs. He told me this, bc he told me 'I know where babies come from' I said 'where' he said all this, told me she told him bc he asked. I was furious, but didn't mention to his dad or her.
3. Im not sure how the conversation started, but last summer (7 yrs.) somehow she told my son that if someone gets pregnant and doesnt want to have a baby, they can go to a dr. and he will kill it. (abortion.)
4. He is now 8. She recently told him that they want to have another baby. Somehow this brought on a conversation inwhich she told him her and his dad have to have s-e-x to make the baby. I asked him 'do you know what that means?' he said 'no.' So I left it at that. My son has never even kissed a girl and is still at that girls are icky stage. I don't understand why she keeps telling him weird things, or what will be next if I don't do SOMETHING.!!
She has been around my son since he was 3. She used to call herself "Mommy _______" in the beginning, which my son quickly took to. Then after they got custody, he started calling her "mom" and me "mommy." This has only recently appeared to have ceased bc iv brought it up anytime iv seen it (to sons dad) After I lost custody, they were alienating very badly, planning his time around his step mom, she does his school functions (im not even told usually) building close relationships with daycare and teachers so I appear as the deadbeat mom. I even recieved a text from step mom inwhich she was bad mouthing me and meant to send to daycare teacher. Some of that has died down, as its been 4 years and I think her insecurity has gotten better. But I am still in search of answers. I don't really want to just have a talk with them, bc that always ends up in disagreeance and accomplishing nothing. I know he will excuse her actions or brush off. What else can I do? am I wrong to be so upset? I can just see the writing on the wall for my son. Her continuing to tell him weird things and in turn, making him weird. I should also mention that everyone who knows her (inlaws and old high school friends) thing she is a bit on the psycho side. I've talked to a lawyer about having her mentally evaluated, to deem if she's fit but this is very intense and expensive. Am I wrong to be apprehensive about this? Need good solid advice from someone with experience!
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