voluntary separation and abandonment

[sofilegal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington DC

My husband and I were having difficulties and went to a lengthy counseling that was unsuccessful. At that point I told him since we cannot reconcile I will be leaving. I could not stay in this marriage and live with him anymore for a number of reasons I won't go into discussing now. 2 months later I found my own place and moved out. He had no reaction to it. Let me go freely. Months later he filed for legal separation and temporary alimony. Court granted us legal separation in September 2012 and denied his request for temporary alimony. Since then we attempted mediation but that did not work out. We have no assets together but he came up with some outrageous amount that he things I should pay him. I should mention that he is currently unemployed and has been so for years. Our divorce trial was today, 6 months later. My husband made a request for continuance but it was denied. When the judge began questioning my husband he stated that he does not want the divorce and that the separation was not voluntary and that I abandoned him. I was shocked to hear that but before I even had a chance to to ask anything the judge postponed the trial since for involuntary separation you have to wait 12 months.
My question is, how is it possible that my husband claims separation was involuntary when he was the one who filed for it? he previously was the one who asked the court to separate us.
Also, I read that for it to be considered abandonment I have to had to have left for NO reason which is not the case. How can I prove this and have the divorce trial expedited instead of waiting 6 more months? He has been dragging this on and on, asking for an outrageous amount of documents and been very difficult to work with to say the least. I just want out of this, I want nothings from him, nor do I think I owe him anything.
Very frustrated with the outcome today and I was wondering 1) what would have happened today if I had an attorney with me. Would he have allowed this to happen? 2) Did the judge look at who filed for separation/divorce initially before deciding to delay the trial?....

Any feedback is appreciated.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington DC

My husband and I were having difficulties and went to a lengthy counseling that was unsuccessful. At that point I told him since we cannot reconcile I will be leaving. I could not stay in this marriage and live with him anymore for a number of reasons I won't go into discussing now. 2 months later I found my own place and moved out. He had no reaction to it. Let me go freely. Months later he filed for legal separation and temporary alimony. Court granted us legal separation in September 2012 and denied his request for temporary alimony. Since then we attempted mediation but that did not work out. We have no assets together but he came up with some outrageous amount that he things I should pay him. I should mention that he is currently unemployed and has been so for years. Our divorce trial was today, 6 months later. My husband made a request for continuance but it was denied. When the judge began questioning my husband he stated that he does not want the divorce and that the separation was not voluntary and that I abandoned him. I was shocked to hear that but before I even had a chance to to ask anything the judge postponed the trial since for involuntary separation you have to wait 12 months.
My question is, how is it possible that my husband claims separation was involuntary when he was the one who filed for it? he previously was the one who asked the court to separate us.
Also, I read that for it to be considered abandonment I have to had to have left for NO reason which is not the case. How can I prove this and have the divorce trial expedited instead of waiting 6 more months? He has been dragging this on and on, asking for an outrageous amount of documents and been very difficult to work with to say the least. I just want out of this, I want nothings from him, nor do I think I owe him anything.
Very frustrated with the outcome today and I was wondering 1) what would have happened today if I had an attorney with me. Would he have allowed this to happen? 2) Did the judge look at who filed for separation/divorce initially before deciding to delay the trial?....

Any feedback is appreciated.

Well, the short answer is:

1) We cannot guess.

2) We cannot know what the judge did or didn't read.

I'm sorry - I'm truly not being flippant, but your questions have a million possible responses.

 

[sofilegal]

question

My question is: what determines if it is voluntary or involuntary separation? can u say that you did not want the separation if you are the one who filed for it? how to object plaintiff statement for abandonment? I think these questions have only one answer.

 

[Proserpina]

My question is: what determines if it is voluntary or involuntary separation?

The judge.

can u say that you did not want the separation if you are the one who filed for it?

Yes.

how to object plaintiff statement for abandonment?

Either get an attorney, or learn the rules and follow the procedures yourself.

I think these questions have only one answer.

You may be surprised!

 

[latigo]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington DC

My husband and I were having difficulties and went to a lengthy counseling that was unsuccessful. At that point I told him since we cannot reconcile I will be leaving. I could not stay in this marriage and live with him anymore for a number of reasons I won't go into discussing now. 2 months later I found my own place and moved out. He had no reaction to it. Let me go freely. Months later he filed for legal separation and temporary alimony. Court granted us legal separation in September 2012 and denied his request for temporary alimony. Since then we attempted mediation but that did not work out. We have no assets together but he came up with some outrageous amount that he things I should pay him. I should mention that he is currently unemployed and has been so for years. Our divorce trial was today, 6 months later. My husband made a request for continuance but it was denied. When the judge began questioning my husband he stated that he does not want the divorce and that the separation was not voluntary and that I abandoned him. I was shocked to hear that but before I even had a chance to to ask anything the judge postponed the trial since for involuntary separation you have to wait 12 months.
My question is, how is it possible that my husband claims separation was involuntary when he was the one who filed for it? he previously was the one who asked the court to separate us.
Also, I read that for it to be considered abandonment I have to had to have left for NO reason which is not the case. How can I prove this and have the divorce trial expedited instead of waiting 6 more months? He has been dragging this on and on, asking for an outrageous amount of documents and been very difficult to work with to say the least. I just want out of this, I want nothings from him, nor do I think I owe him anything.
Very frustrated with the outcome today and I was wondering 1) what would have happened today if I had an attorney with me. Would he have allowed this to happen? 2) Did the judge look at who filed for separation/divorce initially before deciding to delay the trial?....

Any feedback is appreciated.

I don’t see what your problem is. The D. C. Code gives grounds for divorce as follows:

both parties to the marriage have mutually and voluntarily lived separate and apart for a period of six months without cohabitation . . Section 16-904 (a)(1)

Is there something about the conjunctive “mutually and voluntarily” that confuses you? You admit that it was your sole decision to split the sheets!

It is totally illogical of you to now urge that the split up became a collective decision because of his subsequent filing.

And that, plus he didn’t seem to protest upon your leaving, is the whole substance of your flawed argument.

 

[sofilegal]

Do you have a recommendation on where to read more information on the rules for abandonment?
It just seems strange to me that last year this same judge didn't cover the subject of voluntary/involuntary when she granted us legal separation. she automatically considered it voluntary and assigned us divorce trial in 6 months. Today I was ready for trial, witnesses flew in from out of town at my expense, and they were not able to testify. This is totally unacceptable in my eyes.

 

[latigo]

Do you have a recommendation on where to read more information on the rules for abandonment?
It just seems strange to me that last year this same judge didn't cover the subject of voluntary/involuntary when she granted us legal separation. she automatically considered it voluntary and assigned us divorce trial in 6 months. Today I was ready for trial, witnesses flew in from out of town at my expense, and they were not able to testify. This is totally unacceptable in my eyes.

It is elementary, Watson.

To be entitled to have a marriage dissolved in D. C. both parties must have mutually and voluntarily lived separate and apart without cohabitation for a continuous period of 6 months, 16-904 (a)(1), or

Lived separate and apart without cohabitation, sans the mutual agreement, for a continuous period of one year. 16-904 (a)(2)

A legal separation can be granted without a time restriction upon a showing that the parties have mutually agreed to live separate and apart without cohabitation. 16-904 (b)(1)

The first court found that your husband’s filing of his petition for a legal separation constituted his mutual consent.
_____________________

"Rules for abandonment", whatever that is supposed to mean, have nothing to do with this issue.
____________________________

Now, would please explain why you felt it necessary to "fly in a witness" when, other to hold your hand, it was totally unnecessary?

 

[LdiJ]

It is elementary, Watson.

To be entitled to have a marriage dissolved in D. C. both parties must have mutually and voluntarily lived separate and apart without cohabitation for a continuous period of 6 months, 16-904 (a)(1), or

Lived separate and apart without cohabitation, sans the mutual agreement, for a continuous period of one year. 16-904 (a)(2)

A legal separation can be granted without a time restriction upon a showing that the parties have mutually agreed to live separate and apart without cohabitation. 16-904 (b)(1)

The first court found that your husband’s filing of his petition for a legal separation constituted his mutual consent.

Go back and re-read her original post. That is her entire complaint. The judge decided that his petition DID NOT constitute mutual consent and is now making them wait the full year, instead of the original six months.

_____________________

"Rules for abandonment", whatever that is supposed to mean, have nothing to do with this issue.
____________________________

Now, would please explain why you felt it necessary to "fly in a witness" when, other to hold your hand, it was totally unnecessary?

Since you have zero idea what the witness was to testify about, how can you make the statement that it was totally unnecessary?

 

[latigo]

Go back and re-read her original post. That is her entire complaint. The judge decided that his petition DID NOT constitute mutual consent and is now making them wait the full year, instead of the original six months.



Since you have zero idea what the witness was to testify about, how can you make the statement that it was totally unnecessary?

It shouldn’t be all that confusing knowing the separate wishes of the parties and having some awareness of applicable law.

When she walked out it left the deadbeat husband without the benefit of a family income so he filed for separation from bed and board.

And it seem obvious that he only did so for the purpose of seeking an award for spousal support;.(Other than filing for divorce that cause of action being the only other vehicle under which he could be granted financial support.)

The judge assigned to hear his case denied his claim for separate maintenance, but granted the prayer for separation from bed and board, which only required a finding that each desired to live separate and apart and no defined period of time required. And was not resisted by the wife.

Six months or so after she walked out the wife files a separate cause of action for divorce on the grounds stated in Section 16-904(a)(1)

However, she failed to convince the judge assigned to the divorce case that the separation - 6 months past - was a mutually undertaking.

And in view of the defendant husband resisting her application for dissolution of the marriage, the judge thus ruled that her evidence didn’t fit Section 16-904(a)(1).

Whether any emphasis was placed on the husband’s prior suit for legal separation in sustaining an argument that at that point the separation became consensual is not known.

And is only conjecturing to say whether or not it would have had a positive effect in view of the fact that the husband was not agreeable to the separation or the divorce. Plus' DC's legislative purpose of requiring a substantial prior of "cooling off" before a marriage can be formerly dissolved.
___________________

With respect to her witness.

She admits that there is no martial property involved. Her grounds for divorce are not based on fault.

(In fact, effective 3/24/98 D. C. repealed all of its prior laws relevant to fault as grounds for divorce; to-wit: adultery and cruelty. Formerly DC Code 16-904(a)(3) and (4).

SO, what relevant testimony could be elicited from such witness?

 

[sofilegal]

To clarify, The wife was not the one to file for divorce. after the judge granted legal separation for 'mutual and voluntary living apart' for 6 month (as stated in the court document) the judge assigned a hearing during which to 'enlarge' the separation into a divorce. This was in November. Then mediation was attempted during which husband made some requests beyond reason. Until the final trial there was no discussion about abandonment or involuntary separation by the husband. The husband came to trial and the first things he asked the judge was a request for continuance which got denied. Then obviously he found another 'trick' to avoid the trial that day.

As to the witness, they were needed because the husband is trying to fight for a condo gifted to wife from a relative during marriage. Also, husband is making a claim that just because he paid the rent for the first year of marriage, during which wife was going to school he thinks he is entitled to a portion of her salary for the rest of his life (e.g. permanent alimony), fyi, total marriage time = 3.5 years. also he is crazy enough to list as marital property the house of his mother in law abroad which is totally absurd and beyond any comprehension for me...He also has a house bought before marriage that is currently rented. Add to this an old jaguar which he gifted to my sister but now wants back and this ends the list of properties any of them own.