Am I in contempt?

[Zigner]

Based on what you posted, it sounds like you are not failing to comply with the order if he doesn't come to get the child.

 

[wordy68]

In the past, arrangements were always made between he and our son as to whether or not he would be picked up or dropped off by me. (nine times out of ten, he would be picked up by dad) But now, our son will call him and say, "Dad, I'm not coming over this weekend because I have a game, or I want to stay at my friends or whatever...." and then nothing is pursued by dad.

 

[CJane]

Also, I would just like to point out a semantics issue. Not one single person here can tell you whether or not you're 'in contempt'. Only a judge/magistrate/whatever your jurisdiction calls it can FIND YOU IN CONTEMPT. Until such time as that happens, no, you're not in contempt. Not ever. No matter what.

Now, what IS a valid question is "Is it likely that a judge would find me in contempt for the following:..." The answer to that question, with the facts that you've presented is no, it's not likely at all.

 

[wordy68]

Thank you for taking the time to point that out. I do understand that it is up to the courts to decide whether or not I am in contempt of the order. I appreciate all of y'all's input and point of view.

 

[stealth2]

Ya know... My youngest and her Dad have a very difficult relationship. She has not seen him in ~5 years. By HIS choice. But I can tell you this - it was made very clear to her that, if HE wanted to see her? She WOULD be going. No ifs, ands, or buts. This was not something she got to choose.

 

[I'mTheFather]

In the past, arrangements were always made between he and our son as to whether or not he would be picked up or dropped off by me. (nine times out of ten, he would be picked up by dad) But now, our son will call him and say, "Dad, I'm not coming over this weekend because I have a game, or I want to stay at my friends or whatever...." and then nothing is pursued by dad.

I suspect the judge may be just a little peeved by this whole situation if your ex pursues it in court. You are, after all, allowing your son to schedule activities during his father's time. You are allowing your son to make the decision to NOT visit his father. That's not exactly facilitating visitation.

Likewise, your ex is not doing much to exercise his visitation by allowing your son to make those decisions.

I think it's possible the judge may be a little (or even a lot) peeved by the lot of you.

 

[wordy68]

I had the conversation with my son today about seeing his dad. I let him know that I would be letting his dad know what times he was available to be picked up (during his set visitation days) and that if his dad came to get him, he WOULD be going. There were no arguments.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Make sure you tell his father too.

 

[wordy68]

I told my son I was telling his dad...so I guess that means I will be telling his dad.

 

[I'mTheFather]

I told my son I was telling his dad...so I guess that means I will be telling his dad.

Roll your eyes all you want. You haven't tried to facilitate a relationship between the two, as far as I'm concerned, so I wouldn't assume that "I let him know that I would be letting his dad know" actually means that you would do it. Especially when you're guessing.

 

[wordy68]

If you had read the entire thread, you will see that I have done MORE to facilitate this relationship than even his dad has. I asked my original question to make sure that I was doing right by the court, because I am already doing right by my son. Whether or not you or anyone else here thinks I am doing right by my son is irrelevant to me as a mother. I wanted facts as to what a judge might think. I got several points of view here. All of which I respect and have taken into consideration, helping me to decide to reach out to his father in yet ANOTHER way to not only facilitate visitation but to better the relationship my son and my ex have. Which is over and BEYOND what I am legally bound to do. I am bound to make my child available to his father. I am NOT legally bound to take care of the inner dynamics of THEIR personal relationship. That is his father's responsibility. YET, I have played mediator, I have built a relationship with his new wife, I have had private conversations with my ex, I have reached out to my ex's parents and sister in-law...ALL to better the communication between my son and my ex WHOM I DESPISE. I agonize over the fact that my kids need their dad but he wont reach out to them even though he lives merely streets away...SO DO NOT TELL ME THAT I HAVE DONE NOTHING.

I got the opinions I needed. I am putting my son first. I am abiding by the wording of the court order. My ex has not even talked about contempt. This is merely for MY information so that I can sleep at night, and let me tell you, I sleep damn good.

 

[HomeGuru]

Ok, then I guess the post issue is resolved then.

 

[wordy68]

yes it is...and thank you very much to those that offered advice/opinion.

 

[HomeGuru]

Yeah, another happy customer.

 

[Just Blue]

Yeah, another happy customer.

Yeah know...I am always happy when I get something for free. Like samples of perfume from Macy's. I don't always like the sample...but I wouldn't yell and complain to the clerk giving it to me. I just don't understand some people!