• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Basic Questions

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

MomGT123

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

My husband and I may be getting a divorce. I would like to avoid if possible, but so far, counseling is not working and my mental stability is really starting to suffer so it may be in the best interests of me and my children to end it. Not a done deal, but seriously being discussed. (Not proud to say, I actually screamed this at him this morning....not my best moment.)

We have been married for 2 years 4 months, no children of the marriage, and I have been the only person working throughout the marriage. Although, he is currently looking for work as he has recently been medically cleared to be fully employed. I am not attempting to kick him out in the near future, I want him to have time to find somewhere to go and not be on the streets. I realize, unless there is strong evidence, Texas is mainly a no fault state so the reasons behind the divorce don't matter....at least not in the courts' eyes. No drug use, abuse, incarceration, or anything of that nature.

1) We are in the process of having a house built. The contract has been signed but it has not yet been closed on. Obviously, there will be no equity in the house by the time we close and the location chosen for the house was so that I could be within a few miles of my kids' dad and share 50/50 physical custody with him. Since I am the only one able to afford the mortgage (in fact, only my name is going to be on it b/c he does not qualify), it was purchased to be near my kids and there is no equity to be split - do I have a decent chance of being awarded the house? If he were to be awarded the house, it would actually wind up being foreclosed on with only my name on the mortgage. I strongly suspect he will actually leave the state and move closer to either his mom or other family.

2) I realize we do not meet the 10 year minimum for spousal support but could he be awarded temporary support during the divorce process if I am allowing him to remain in the same residence as me until everything is finalized and he is able to make alternate plans? (Again, I'm not wanting to be vindictive by any means.) I'm asking because, at the moment, there is no extra money. We are strapped for cash due to the lawsuit we just finished and simply making minimum payments on the debt we accumulated is difficult. I am expecting a bonus within the next month that will take a large part of that strain off....it's going straight towards those credit cards.

3) I owned the majority of the items within the household before we were married. There are photos of our apartment when I first moved in, a month before the date on our marriage certificate. If he were to fight this, would these time stamped photos be sufficient evidence or do I need to start tracking down receipts? I know exactly what was his before our marriage and have absolutely no issue handing those things over to him. There are a couple of small items that we have bought since our marriage such as a dresser and bookshelf for my children (which I will be requesting to keep), two dressers for the master BR (I will offer him the larger one) and our two dogs. Honestly, I think we will argue over the dogs more than anything else. I am moving to a place where they will have a backyard to run around in whereas he has no idea where he will be going and it will likely be couch to couch for a while. I know they're not children by any means, but that still doesn't sit well with me. However, I have no idea how things are decided when it comes to pets. I'm also going to offer him the larger of the two older TV's. It was mine before marriage but I'll have my living room one and the kids have a small one in their room....I don't even watch TV in the bedroom, he does.

4) I have a very small 401K since I withdrew the majority to help him fight a visitation case for his son. If he wants to fight over the $300 vested amount that remains, I'll give him his half...not a big deal in the long run.

5) I will also offer to carry his current medical/dental/vision insurance on him until the next open enrollment so that he has plenty of time to find another option, if my employer will allow that once the divorce goes through.

6) I am asking to keep our only vehicle. It was purchased after we were married, he does not have a license (not until next calendar year) and there is no equity built up in the vehicle. I use it to get to and from work each day and chauffeur (sp?) my kids wherever they need to go. Any reason why keeping this might not be possible?

I'm sure this is far from everything that is involved but all that comes to mind at the moment. Is there anything else that I should be thinking of and preparing for? I believe that we will be able to do this without lawyers as the possibility really isn't an option for either of us (I just spent over $30,000 on his child visitation lawyer which is why we're in such financial strain right now.....trying to not go down that road again.).
 


ecmst12

Senior Member
When will the house be completed/closed on? Is it possible for the divorce to be completed before then? That should be your goal.
 

MomGT123

Member
When will the house be completed/closed on? Is it possible for the divorce to be completed before then? That should be your goal.
Possibly since we haven't been given our 60-day notice of closing and Texas has a 60 day waiting period between filing and finalizing a divorce. I'm kind of looking at the worst case situation though just in case.

I would rather be prepared instead of assuming one thing and being blind sided with another. I have the paperwork filled out and ready to file but I want to at least talk to him a little more rationally before I run to the court house. I would hate to file while I'm seeing red and wonder later if it could have been worked out if I had just waited, calmed down and possibly have been able to come up with a plan to try and work through our issues. We have our next counseling session this Wednesday and maybe she can give us a little hope or insight into what we could be doing differently in order to try and save our marriage.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
You've only been married 2 years and you're already in counseling and have the papers filled out. I'm not seeing a whole lot of good signs here.
 

MomGT123

Member
You've only been married 2 years and you're already in counseling and have the papers filled out. I'm not seeing a whole lot of good signs here.
I know, neither do I. I just want to make sure I tried everything possible before throwing in the towel. I still love him just as much, if not more, than I did when we married but sometimes that's not enough.

And I know this isn't a good reason, but darnit I hate the fact that it would be such a short marriage and my second divorce. I feel like I owe it to myself to give it everything rather than just saying "oh well" and walking away.
 

MomGT123

Member
Did you have counseling BEFORE you got married? That would have been my suggestion.
No, we didn't. The main issues that caused us to seek out counseling weren't a factor then. But I agree (especially now) that counseling is always a good idea, even if you think everything is fine.

I keep holding onto some of our sessions where our counselor has told us that she has never seen another couple that obviously loves each other so much and she also did "art therapy" with us. She asked us each to draw what we wanted in 10 years without looking at the other's drawing. We drew the exact same things.....said she has never seen that before in all of her years of counseling. Things have just been building and I've finally gotten to where I don't know if I can go through it anymore but I'm still scared of making the wrong decision.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

My husband and I may be getting a divorce. I would like to avoid if possible, but so far, counseling is not working and my mental stability is really starting to suffer so it may be in the best interests of me and my children to end it. Not a done deal, but seriously being discussed. (Not proud to say, I actually screamed this at him this morning....not my best moment.)

We have been married for 2 years 4 months, no children of the marriage, and I have been the only person working throughout the marriage. Although, he is currently looking for work as he has recently been medically cleared to be fully employed. I am not attempting to kick him out in the near future, I want him to have time to find somewhere to go and not be on the streets. I realize, unless there is strong evidence, Texas is mainly a no fault state so the reasons behind the divorce don't matter....at least not in the courts' eyes. No drug use, abuse, incarceration, or anything of that nature.

1) We are in the process of having a house built. The contract has been signed but it has not yet been closed on. Obviously, there will be no equity in the house by the time we close and the location chosen for the house was so that I could be within a few miles of my kids' dad and share 50/50 physical custody with him. Since I am the only one able to afford the mortgage (in fact, only my name is going to be on it b/c he does not qualify), it was purchased to be near my kids and there is no equity to be split - do I have a decent chance of being awarded the house? If he were to be awarded the house, it would actually wind up being foreclosed on with only my name on the mortgage. I strongly suspect he will actually leave the state and move closer to either his mom or other family.
Since he obviously could not qualify for a mortgage on the house, unless you were to really mess things up in court, you should be awarded the house...and/or the court should order that the house be sold. However since he is not legally obligated for the house at this point, and it obviously will have no equity, its unlikely that a judge would order you to sell.

2) I realize we do not meet the 10 year minimum for spousal support but could he be awarded temporary support during the divorce process if I am allowing him to remain in the same residence as me until everything is finalized and he is able to make alternate plans? (Again, I'm not wanting to be vindictive by any means.) I'm asking because, at the moment, there is no extra money. We are strapped for cash due to the lawsuit we just finished and simply making minimum payments on the debt we accumulated is difficult. I am expecting a bonus within the next month that will take a large part of that strain off....it's going straight towards those credit cards.
My understanding is that TX is not fond of spousal support. Therefore, as long as he has a place to stay, that may not be an issue.

3) I owned the majority of the items within the household before we were married. There are photos of our apartment when I first moved in, a month before the date on our marriage certificate. If he were to fight this, would these time stamped photos be sufficient evidence or do I need to start tracking down receipts? I know exactly what was his before our marriage and have absolutely no issue handing those things over to him. There are a couple of small items that we have bought since our marriage such as a dresser and bookshelf for my children (which I will be requesting to keep), two dressers for the master BR (I will offer him the larger one) and our two dogs. Honestly, I think we will argue over the dogs more than anything else. I am moving to a place where they will have a backyard to run around in whereas he has no idea where he will be going and it will likely be couch to couch for a while. I know they're not children by any means, but that still doesn't sit well with me. However, I have no idea how things are decided when it comes to pets. I'm also going to offer him the larger of the two older TV's. It was mine before marriage but I'll have my living room one and the kids have a small one in their room....I don't even watch TV in the bedroom, he does.
Don't get too hung up on "stuff". "Stuff" can be replaced and if you are right, and he moves out of state, he likely won't want to take all that much "stuff" with him.

4) I have a very small 401K since I withdrew the majority to help him fight a visitation case for his son. If he wants to fight over the $300 vested amount that remains, I'll give him his half...not a big deal in the long run.

5) I will also offer to carry his current medical/dental/vision insurance on him until the next open enrollment so that he has plenty of time to find another option, if my employer will allow that once the divorce goes through.
okay on both of those

6) I am asking to keep our only vehicle. It was purchased after we were married, he does not have a license (not until next calendar year) and there is no equity built up in the vehicle. I use it to get to and from work each day and chauffeur (sp?) my kids wherever they need to go. Any reason why keeping this might not be possible?
No equity, no license, no ability to pay the car loan, once again, unlikely that he would be awarded the car.

I'm sure this is far from everything that is involved but all that comes to mind at the moment. Is there anything else that I should be thinking of and preparing for? I believe that we will be able to do this without lawyers as the possibility really isn't an option for either of us (I just spent over $30,000 on his child visitation lawyer which is why we're in such financial strain right now.....trying to not go down that road again.).
If it does get contentious, you should probably let the judge know that you spent 30k on his child visitation lawyer. Its not really relevant but its a goodly portion of your marital debt, and that should factor in at least a bit....bet you wouldn't have done that if you had realized where you might be in the near future. I don't say that to be snarky, but that was a huge amount you invested in someone else's legal issues. If it helps someone else reading this thread, not make the same mistake, its worth mentioning.
 

MomGT123

Member
Since he obviously could not qualify for a mortgage on the house, unless you were to really mess things up in court, you should be awarded the house...and/or the court should order that the house be sold. However since he is not legally obligated for the house at this point, and it obviously will have no equity, its unlikely that a judge would order you to sell.



My understanding is that TX is not fond of spousal support. Therefore, as long as he has a place to stay, that may not be an issue.



Don't get too hung up on "stuff". "Stuff" can be replaced and if you are right, and he moves out of state, he likely won't want to take all that much "stuff" with him.



okay on both of those



No equity, no license, no ability to pay the car loan, once again, unlikely that he would be awarded the car.



If it does get contentious, you should probably let the judge know that you spent 30k on his child visitation lawyer. Its not really relevant but its a goodly portion of your marital debt, and that should factor in at least a bit....bet you wouldn't have done that if you had realized where you might be in the near future. I don't say that to be snarky, but that was a huge amount you invested in someone else's legal issues. If it helps someone else reading this thread, not make the same mistake, its worth mentioning.
That makes me feel a little better, thank you. I will say this, and I know a lot of people wouldn't have done the same thing, but he is a great father and I would do that part all over again. There was no valid reason to deny him visitation and that was actually specifically talked about by the judge in court. The further into the case we got, the more my motivation started to be for the child involved and not just my husband.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top