Withholding money from spouse

[Zigner]

California rental prices and housing is more expensive than many places. And apparently OP and his wife weren't being strict budgeters and may have been living on credit cards.

Agreed - but with $85k per year (if that's the NET amount) one can live comfortably, but not lavishly, in a good number of places in CA.

If it's $85k/year gross, it gets a bit tighter, but with the various tax credits available, it's still not too bad.

 

[robeill]

California cost of living is freaking crazy and remember that is gross pay. VA is minimal less than 500, which also goes to bills.

 

[robeill]

California rental prices and housing is more expensive than many places. And apparently OP and his wife weren't being strict budgeters and may have been living on credit cards.

agreed rental prices are @ 2k a month for the house, not only do I live in one of the highest taxed state in the country we also have the highest utility taxes any where. So think of spending around 4.25 for a gallon of gas and 180 a month just on electricity. and no credit cards we have finally paid those off about a year ago. I do have to admit that we were not strict budgeters like we should have been.

 

[Zigner]

California cost of living is freaking crazy and remember that is gross pay. VA is minimal less than 500, which also goes to bills.

$85k gross AND and additional $400+ per month. You are not doing bad, even for CA. I was supporting a family of 6 on that amount not too long ago. And that included 4 school-age children and a non-working spouse

 

[Zigner]

agreed rental prices are @ 2k a month for the house, not only do I live in one of the highest taxed state in the country we also have the highest utility taxes any where. So think of spending around 4.25 for a gallon of gas and 180 a month just on electricity. and no credit cards we have finally paid those off about a year ago. I do have to admit that we were not strict budgeters like we should have been.

Your housing costs are way more than they need to be. You ought to consider down-sizing...that would also reduce your utility costs. This is not a matter of "strict budgeting" - this is a matter of living way beyond your means.

 

[Bali Hai]

Your housing costs are way more than they need to be. You ought to consider down-sizing...that would also reduce your utility costs. This is not a matter of "strict budgeting" - this is a matter of living way beyond your means.

His impending alimony after being kicked to the curb will force a down-sizing.

 

[robeill]

Your housing costs are way more than they need to be. You ought to consider down-sizing...that would also reduce your utility costs. This is not a matter of "strict budgeting" - this is a matter of living way beyond your means.

I would love do "down-size" but I already refinanced my mortgage. Utilities are bare minimum...really. No frivolous spending...no TV, internet, cell phones at a minimum. The only thing that we have that is outstanding is a car payment.

I know everyone thinks that 85 a year is great but when your pay gets cut 30% it kinda leaves you in a bind.

 

[ecmst12]

You are both going to end up having to downsize your homes. You need to consult a lawyer as soon as possible and figure out what the divorce is going to cost you and for how long (if you can avoid permanent alimony, do) and what you will have left to work with every month after spousal and child support. She will likely have to get a job too, your salary isn't enough to support 2 separate households fully, but that won't be your problem, you will just make your payment to her every month and she can figure it out. But get the lawyer now.

 

[Ohiogal]

I would love do "down-size" but I already refinanced my mortgage. Utilities are bare minimum...really. No frivolous spending...no TV, internet, cell phones at a minimum. The only thing that we have that is outstanding is a car payment.

I know everyone thinks that 85 a year is great but when your pay gets cut 30% it kinda leaves you in a bind.

YOu have a mortgage on a rental? You stated your

agreed rental prices are @ 2k a month for the house

So which is it? A rental or a mortgage? How much equity is in the house? What type of car do you drive?

 

[robeill]

YOu have a mortgage on a rental? You stated your


So which is it? A rental or a mortgage? How much equity is in the house? What type of car do you drive?

Right now we have a mortgage. Equity is going to be tight as Southern Cal was hit really hard by the housing market.

Once divorce goes through I will have to rent at least a 3br apt. so 1500 to 2000 a month just for a stupid apartment.

 

[Zigner]

Right now we have a mortgage. Equity is going to be tight as Southern Cal was hit really hard by the housing market.

Once divorce goes through I will have to rent at least a 3br apt. so 1500 to 2000 a month just for a stupid apartment.

Why will you have to rent a 3BR apartment?

 

[Ohiogal]

Right now we have a mortgage. Equity is going to be tight as Southern Cal was hit really hard by the housing market.

Once divorce goes through I will have to rent at least a 3br apt. so 1500 to 2000 a month just for a stupid apartment.

You avoided the question. HOW much equity is in the house? How much retirement do you have? What type of car do you drive? How much is your mortgage payment? Why do you assume you will be moving from the house?

 

[robeill]

You avoided the question. HOW much equity is in the house? How much retirement do you have? What type of car do you drive? How much is your mortgage payment? Why do you assume you will be moving from the house?

equity...not much...maybe 10+k
retirement ... gone...had to pull it out due to medical emergency hardship with one of the kids
car...nissan hybrid...34 mpg
mortage...2100
california is an equal state. so all things have to be divided equally or bought out by the other party. I can't afford to buy her out and same with her. so selling is more of the option that we will go with.

 

[Ohiogal]

equity...not much...maybe 10+k
retirement ... gone...had to pull it out due to medical emergency hardship with one of the kids
car...nissan hybrid...34 mpg
mortage...2100
california is an equal state. so all things have to be divided equally or bought out by the other party. I can't afford to buy her out and same with her. so selling is more of the option that we will go with.

You can't afford to buy her out for 5k? Really? Then you are totally living beyond your means. Your car payment is what -- $600 a month? So now you have $2700 a month. Have you tried not using the air conditioning? Doing a budget plan for utilities? Cutting meat out of one or two meals a week that you normally eat meat?

 

[robeill]

You can't afford to buy her out for 5k? Really? Then you are totally living beyond your means. Your car payment is what -- $600 a month? So now you have $2700 a month. Have you tried not using the air conditioning? Doing a budget plan for utilities? Cutting meat out of one or two meals a week that you normally eat meat?

You have to remember...highest taxed state in the country...and i wish i was bringing home that after taxes. oh and then take 65-70% for alimony and child support.

and it's not the equity that you buy out it is the value of the home at time of divorce, so half of 310k