Ex owes a lot of money

[Ashleyi]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado

My ex (Common law married, lived and paid bills together for 2 years) used my Firestone credit card to pay for $1000 of his own car repairs shortly before I moved out. I have the papers saying it was his car the money was spent on, but I don't know if there is any way to get him to pay me back. I ended up paying it off with tax money after months of him saying he would pay me, then not doing so. Help! I don't know if there is anything I can do!

 

[Zigner]

This matter will need to be addressed in your divorce proceedings.

 

[Ashleyi]

We weren't ever planning on having a divorce, it ended up be a consentual breakup. It has been almost a year since it was ended. Anything I can do besides file for divorce? And do I have to file for divorce?

 

[CSO286]

We weren't ever planning on having a divorce, it ended up be a consentual breakup. It has been almost a year since it was ended. Anything I can do besides file for divorce? And do I have to file for divorce?

If you were common-law married in a state that recognizes such unions, then you need to obtain a divorce.

http://usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/common_law_marriage/index.shtml

http://www.colorado-family-law.com/entering-marriage/common-law-marriage/index.htm

http://www.coloradodivorceinfo.com/divorce-process/commonlawmarriage.htm

Since there's no such thing as a Colorado common law divorce, if the couple breaks up, they also enjoy all of the rights, privileges, and headaches of a formal Colorado divorce or legal separation. Trying to remarry without a formal dissolution would be bigamy, and renders the second marriage void!

 

[Zigner]

We weren't ever planning on having a divorce, it ended up be a consentual breakup. It has been almost a year since it was ended. Anything I can do besides file for divorce? And do I have to file for divorce?

If you were common-law married, then you were married and it can only be terminated by death or divorce.

http://www.coloradoattorneygeneral.gov/initiatives/consumer_resource_guide/common_legal_questions#common_law

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado

My ex (Common law married, lived and paid bills together for 2 years) used my Firestone credit card to pay for $1000 of his own car repairs shortly before I moved out. I have the papers saying it was his car the money was spent on, but I don't know if there is any way to get him to pay me back. I ended up paying it off with tax money after months of him saying he would pay me, then not doing so. Help! I don't know if there is anything I can do!

Sounds like a marital debt. However, did you authorize him to use the credit card? If so, what were the terms of the loan contract?

 

[LdiJ]

If you were common-law married, then you were married and it can only be terminated by death or divorce.

http://www.coloradoattorneygeneral.gov/initiatives/consumer_resource_guide/common_legal_questions#common_law

I agree...however living together and paying bills together does not necessarily indicate a common law marriage.

 

[Zigner]

I agree...however living together and paying bills together does not necessarily indicate a common law marriage.

The OP states that a common law marriage existed. Assuming that both parties are on the same page about that, they were married.

From the link I posted previously: The common-law elements of a valid marriage are that the couples (1) are free to contract a valid ceremonial marriage, i.e., they are not already married to someone else; (2) hold themselves out as husband and wife; (3) consent to the marriage; (4) live together; and (5) have the reputation in the community as being married. The single most important element under the common law was the mutual consent of a couple presently to be husband and wife. All the rest were considered evidence of this consent or exchange of promises. No time requirement exists other than the time necessary to establish these circumstances. When proof of common law marriage is required, such as by an insurance company, a signed affidavit can be presented. For a sample affidavit, click here.

 

[Silverplum]

I agree...however living together and paying bills together does not necessarily indicate a common law marriage.

So you clearly didn't read Zigner's helpful link? The OP meets each requirement.

"Common-Law Marriage
A common-law marriage in Colorado is valid for all purposes, the same as a ceremonial marriage. Only death or divorce can terminate it. The common-law elements of a valid marriage are that the couples (1) are free to contract a valid ceremonial marriage, i.e., they are not already married to someone else; (2) hold themselves out as husband and wife; (3) consent to the marriage; (4) live together; and (5) have the reputation in the community as being married. The single most important element under the common law was the mutual consent of a couple presently to be husband and wife. All the rest were considered evidence of this consent or exchange of promises. No time requirement exists other than the time necessary to establish these circumstances. When proof of common law marriage is required, such as by an insurance company, a signed affidavit can be presented. For a sample affidavit, click here.

Common-law marriage is a term used to describe a marriage that has not complied with the statutory requirements most states have enacted as necessary for a ceremonial marriage. The name came from the fact that these marriages were recognized as valid under the common law of England. In 1877, the United States Supreme Court stated, in an action that questioned the validity of a nonceremonial marriage, that marriages that were valid under common law were still valid unless the state passed a statute specifically forbidding them. Meisher v. Moore, 96 U.S. 76 (1877). Since the Colorado legislature has never enacted such a statute, Colorado is part of the minority of states that recognize the validity of common-law marriages.

If you desire a legal opinion relating to a specific situation, you should consult your own attorney."

 

[LdiJ]

So you clearly didn't read Zigner's helpful link? The OP meets each requirement.

"Common-Law Marriage
A common-law marriage in Colorado is valid for all purposes, the same as a ceremonial marriage. Only death or divorce can terminate it. The common-law elements of a valid marriage are that the couples (1) are free to contract a valid ceremonial marriage, i.e., they are not already married to someone else; (2) hold themselves out as husband and wife; (3) consent to the marriage; (4) live together; and (5) have the reputation in the community as being married. The single most important element under the common law was the mutual consent of a couple presently to be husband and wife. All the rest were considered evidence of this consent or exchange of promises. No time requirement exists other than the time necessary to establish these circumstances. When proof of common law marriage is required, such as by an insurance company, a signed affidavit can be presented. For a sample affidavit, click here.

Common-law marriage is a term used to describe a marriage that has not complied with the statutory requirements most states have enacted as necessary for a ceremonial marriage. The name came from the fact that these marriages were recognized as valid under the common law of England. In 1877, the United States Supreme Court stated, in an action that questioned the validity of a nonceremonial marriage, that marriages that were valid under common law were still valid unless the state passed a statute specifically forbidding them. Meisher v. Moore, 96 U.S. 76 (1877). Since the Colorado legislature has never enacted such a statute, Colorado is part of the minority of states that recognize the validity of common-law marriages.

If you desire a legal opinion relating to a specific situation, you should consult your own attorney."

I did read it. I don't think its established that they are common law married. Yes, I know that the OP used that term here, but I don't know (and neither does anybody else) whether they held themselves out to the community, family and friends as married. That does seem to be an important element for CO, according to that link.

I have seen people use the term "common law married" just to make their situation seem more "legit", when in reality they did not hold themselves out to be married at all...particularly since she defined what she meant by common law marriage as living together and paying bills together.

 

[Zigner]

I did read it. I don't think its established that they are common law married. Yes, I know that the OP used that term here, but I don't know (and neither does anybody else) whether they held themselves out to the community, family and friends as married. That does seem to be an important element for CO, according to that link.

I have seen people use the term "common law married" just to make their situation seem more "legit", when in reality they did not hold themselves out to be married at all...particularly since she defined what she meant by common law marriage as living together and paying bills together.

I would agree that the OP didn't quite give enough facts for *us* to be sure of the validity of her common law marriage. But, I feel it's safe to assume it was valid.

 

[LdiJ]

I would agree that the OP didn't quite give enough facts for *us* to be sure of the validity of her common law marriage. But, I feel it's safe to assume it was valid.

The issue is that it really doesn't matter if we are sure or not. SHE is the one who needs to be sure. If she has a valid common law marriage she absolutely needs a divorce or she could face major problems down the road. If she does not have a valid common law marriage then she could end up spending a lot of unnecessary money in a wasted divorce action.

Since there are not quite enough facts here to be sure, I do believe it is our obligation to point out that she may not have a valid common law marriage.

 

[Zigner]

The issue is that it really doesn't matter if we are sure or not. SHE is the one who needs to be sure. If she has a valid common law marriage she absolutely needs a divorce or she could face major problems down the road. If she does not have a valid common law marriage then she could end up spending a lot of unnecessary money in a wasted divorce action.

Since there are not quite enough facts here to be sure, I do believe it is our obligation to point out that she may not have a valid common law marriage.

They both lived together and considered themselves married. The only "fact" I'm not 100% sure of is whether the other party ALSO considered himself married. But, I suspect the OP wouldn't even used the phrase "common law" if that had not been discussed at some point during the 2+ years of the relationship.

Yes, you're right. The OP needs to be SURE she was common law married. But, I think that is a very small thing. I'm at about 99.5% sure that she was.

 

[latigo]

. . . living together and paying bills together does not necessarily indicate a common law marriage.

Well isn’t that novel? “Living together and paying bills together” are not indicia of a consensual marriage!

Yet I foresee one major hurdle in your effort to rewrite the laws in this country. You will first need to know what they are!

 

[Zigner]

Well isn’t that novel? “Living together and paying bills together” are not indicia of a consensual marriage!

They can be used as evidence of it, but they do not alone form a common law marriage.