CharlesTownsend
Junior Member
EDIT: It seems I was under the mistaken impression that anonymity is par for the course on this site. I do want to protect my identity in this case, and I apologize to anyone who read the whole giant block of text assuming that the real situation is exactly the same as the situation I describe. I made changes to protect the identities of the people involved. But to repeat, I am not Peggy or James. I'm just someone who loves John and Gina.
This is a real-life, ongoing dilemma from Maryland. Any help you can offer will be appreciated greatly.
Gina and John have been married for over six decades and both are over 80 years old. They are inseparable. They have three children named Peggy (61), James (57), and Rosie (55). I am a close friend of Peggy's.
John and Gina's finances are being handled by a third-party and are not at issue here.
Two years prior and without notifying her siblings, Rosie took her parents to sign health care advance directives (one for each parent) naming Rosie as health care agent. Store that away for a moment.
A year ago, Gina and John were living alone. They began to have difficulties performing ordinary daily activities such as making appointments, taking medications in the proper doses, and driving. Serious discussion about what to do with Gina and John began among Peggy, James, and Rosie. As Gina and John lived at James's home for eight years (2001-2008) and are very comfortable there, James and Peggy began to promote the idea of their parents moving back to James's house. Gina strongly agreed and began discussing plans to move back to James's house. John also agreed, though his condition is such that he can be made to agree to anything.
When James and Peggy proposed moving the parents to James's house, Rosie refused. She then relocated John and Gina to an assisted living facility (ALF). She did not give any advance notice to her siblings.
James attempted to take Gina and John back to his house one evening, but quickly realized that without access to medications his parents' health might be jeopardized. The ALF would dispense medications only to a person authorized by the health care agent (Rosie). James was forced to return his parents to the ALF on an indefinite basis.
Everyone agrees that John's dementia has reached the point where John cannot consent to any financial or medical arrangements. Over the years John has had multiple strokes which have left him mostly unable to learn new environments or make sense of new stimuli. John does much better in familiar environments and his long-term memory is mostly intact. By contrast, Gina is quite clear-headed and has consistently and strongly opposed John's and Gina's “incarceration” at the ALF.
Peggy and James began to prepare a petition to the county's circuit court for guardianship of the persons over both John and Gina. In the process of preparing the petition, they encountered an ethical difficulty. Peggy and James did not truly believe that Gina was incompetent. In fact, writings of Rosie's from a few months prior stated unequivocally that Gina was consistently lucid, drawing a contrast with John. But if James were only to acquire guardianship over John, then Rosie would still be able to force Gina to stay at the ALF. As John and Gina are inseparable, this was unacceptable.
While Peggy and John were deliberating, Rosie beat them to the punch. She contacted her preferred M.D. and psychologist, told the evaluators that both her parents were incompetent, and requested documentation. This was easy to do since Rosie was in control of all medical decisions for both parents. No notification was given to Peggy and James.
Peggy and John acknowledge that Gina's mind is not as sharp as when Gina was 60, but they still think that guardianship represents too much power over such a sharp-witted individual. Gina is aware of her surroundings, knows who she is, knows who the people around her are, knows what she wants in life, and retains the ability to express preferences about her life.
Rosie submitted a petition to the local circuit court for permanent guardianship of the persons for both John and Gina. Rosie alleged that her parents were both afflicted with severe dementia and provided two “certificates of capacity” for each parent. She also alleged that James taking his parents out to his house constituted an emergency (as defined in the MD Code).
The circuit court judge who reviewed Rosie's petition neglected to hold a hearing or to otherwise consult with family and immediately appointed Rosie as temporary guardian of the persons for both John and Gina. The temporary guardianship grants Rosie all the rights, duties, and powers of a permanent guardian of the person. After five months, the temporary guardianship is still in effect. James and Peggy quickly filed a counter-petition, which triggered a hearing date. Due to court backlog, the hearing date has been set for November, and we are all worried that John and Gina will not make it that long. We believe we will win the case.
John has fallen three times since being placed in the ALF. He has broken his leg and his hip as a result. The rest of the family is powerless to intervene in any way. Rosie banned multiple members of the family from visiting at the ALF on the grounds that these family members are “disruptive”. Rosie's evidence for this claim is a poorly written note by a low-level ALF staff member who has been working hand-in-hand with Rosie.
John's condition worsens by the day as he gets no stimulation or family interaction in the ALF. We are worried that Gina and John will not survive until the November hearing. We believe that Rosie does not care if her parents die. Perhaps she wishes their death.
Consistent with the MD Code, the court did appoint an attorney to represent John and Gina. The attorney has tried to mediate between the two factions rather than attempting to effect real change. Under the attorney's mediation, the situation has stalemated. The attorney has failed to see the exigency of the situation despite John's rapid decline and Gina's constant demand to be moved to James's house.
Question: how do we save John and Gina? Everyone has retained attorneys but nothing is changing.
This is a real-life, ongoing dilemma from Maryland. Any help you can offer will be appreciated greatly.
Gina and John have been married for over six decades and both are over 80 years old. They are inseparable. They have three children named Peggy (61), James (57), and Rosie (55). I am a close friend of Peggy's.
John and Gina's finances are being handled by a third-party and are not at issue here.
Two years prior and without notifying her siblings, Rosie took her parents to sign health care advance directives (one for each parent) naming Rosie as health care agent. Store that away for a moment.
A year ago, Gina and John were living alone. They began to have difficulties performing ordinary daily activities such as making appointments, taking medications in the proper doses, and driving. Serious discussion about what to do with Gina and John began among Peggy, James, and Rosie. As Gina and John lived at James's home for eight years (2001-2008) and are very comfortable there, James and Peggy began to promote the idea of their parents moving back to James's house. Gina strongly agreed and began discussing plans to move back to James's house. John also agreed, though his condition is such that he can be made to agree to anything.
When James and Peggy proposed moving the parents to James's house, Rosie refused. She then relocated John and Gina to an assisted living facility (ALF). She did not give any advance notice to her siblings.
James attempted to take Gina and John back to his house one evening, but quickly realized that without access to medications his parents' health might be jeopardized. The ALF would dispense medications only to a person authorized by the health care agent (Rosie). James was forced to return his parents to the ALF on an indefinite basis.
Everyone agrees that John's dementia has reached the point where John cannot consent to any financial or medical arrangements. Over the years John has had multiple strokes which have left him mostly unable to learn new environments or make sense of new stimuli. John does much better in familiar environments and his long-term memory is mostly intact. By contrast, Gina is quite clear-headed and has consistently and strongly opposed John's and Gina's “incarceration” at the ALF.
Peggy and James began to prepare a petition to the county's circuit court for guardianship of the persons over both John and Gina. In the process of preparing the petition, they encountered an ethical difficulty. Peggy and James did not truly believe that Gina was incompetent. In fact, writings of Rosie's from a few months prior stated unequivocally that Gina was consistently lucid, drawing a contrast with John. But if James were only to acquire guardianship over John, then Rosie would still be able to force Gina to stay at the ALF. As John and Gina are inseparable, this was unacceptable.
While Peggy and John were deliberating, Rosie beat them to the punch. She contacted her preferred M.D. and psychologist, told the evaluators that both her parents were incompetent, and requested documentation. This was easy to do since Rosie was in control of all medical decisions for both parents. No notification was given to Peggy and James.
Peggy and John acknowledge that Gina's mind is not as sharp as when Gina was 60, but they still think that guardianship represents too much power over such a sharp-witted individual. Gina is aware of her surroundings, knows who she is, knows who the people around her are, knows what she wants in life, and retains the ability to express preferences about her life.
Rosie submitted a petition to the local circuit court for permanent guardianship of the persons for both John and Gina. Rosie alleged that her parents were both afflicted with severe dementia and provided two “certificates of capacity” for each parent. She also alleged that James taking his parents out to his house constituted an emergency (as defined in the MD Code).
The circuit court judge who reviewed Rosie's petition neglected to hold a hearing or to otherwise consult with family and immediately appointed Rosie as temporary guardian of the persons for both John and Gina. The temporary guardianship grants Rosie all the rights, duties, and powers of a permanent guardian of the person. After five months, the temporary guardianship is still in effect. James and Peggy quickly filed a counter-petition, which triggered a hearing date. Due to court backlog, the hearing date has been set for November, and we are all worried that John and Gina will not make it that long. We believe we will win the case.
John has fallen three times since being placed in the ALF. He has broken his leg and his hip as a result. The rest of the family is powerless to intervene in any way. Rosie banned multiple members of the family from visiting at the ALF on the grounds that these family members are “disruptive”. Rosie's evidence for this claim is a poorly written note by a low-level ALF staff member who has been working hand-in-hand with Rosie.
John's condition worsens by the day as he gets no stimulation or family interaction in the ALF. We are worried that Gina and John will not survive until the November hearing. We believe that Rosie does not care if her parents die. Perhaps she wishes their death.
Consistent with the MD Code, the court did appoint an attorney to represent John and Gina. The attorney has tried to mediate between the two factions rather than attempting to effect real change. Under the attorney's mediation, the situation has stalemated. The attorney has failed to see the exigency of the situation despite John's rapid decline and Gina's constant demand to be moved to James's house.
Question: how do we save John and Gina? Everyone has retained attorneys but nothing is changing.
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