Filing for Divorce, Child born out of state, Paternity Affidavit

[MommyDearest]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana


I'm trying to do some research for my boyfriend. He has been separated from his wife for 2 1/2 years. Initially he prepared the required forms for a DIY Divorce. She moved out of the home and property/debt has already been mutually separated. The mother has not had any contact with his 3 children (17, 15 and 11) since the day she moved out. It is by her choice entirely. She flat out refuses to see or talk to them and does not want custody.

She agreed to sign the papers and they were filed. But their oldest son was born in Ohio so a Paternity Affidavit is needed to file the divorce in Indiana. During the time it took to send for the forms from Ohio, she decided she was not going to sign the Affidavit and flat out refuses. She has Bi-Polar Disorder and its hard to tell what mood she will be in from minute to minute. She texts my boyfriend daily to threaten and insult him but will not associate with her children or sign the paper.

We know that he is able to file for the divorce without her consent, but without that Affidavit, the forms will not go through the court.

Without hiring an attorney, is there anything he can do to move this process along? I know he can't force her to sign it, but is the alternative staying married until she gives in, or he has the $$ for an attorney?

I appreciate any suggestions.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana


I'm trying to do some research for my boyfriend. He has been separated from his wife for 2 1/2 years. Initially he prepared the required forms for a DIY Divorce. She moved out of the home and property/debt has already been mutually separated. The mother has not had any contact with his 3 children (17, 15 and 11) since the day she moved out. It is by her choice entirely. She flat out refuses to see or talk to them and does not want custody.

She agreed to sign the papers and they were filed. But their oldest son was born in Ohio so a Paternity Affidavit is needed to file the divorce in Indiana. During the time it took to send for the forms from Ohio, she decided she was not going to sign the Affidavit and flat out refuses. She has Bi-Polar Disorder and its hard to tell what mood she will be in from minute to minute. She texts my boyfriend daily to threaten and insult him but will not associate with her children or sign the paper.

We know that he is able to file for the divorce without her consent, but without that Affidavit, the forms will not go through the court.

Without hiring an attorney, is there anything he can do to move this process along? I know he can't force her to sign it, but is the alternative staying married until she gives in, or he has the $$ for an attorney?

I appreciate any suggestions.

A) This is NOT your business.
B) Why is a paternity affidavit needed on the oldest son?
C) Was the child born during the marriage?
D) Did her husband sign the paternity affidavit?
E) Why is committing adultery the best thing for these children?

 

[single317dad]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana


I'm trying to do some research for my boyfriend. He has been separated from his wife for 2 1/2 years. Initially he prepared the required forms for a DIY Divorce. She moved out of the home and property/debt has already been mutually separated. The mother has not had any contact with his 3 children (17, 15 and 11) since the day she moved out. It is by her choice entirely. She flat out refuses to see or talk to them and does not want custody.

She agreed to sign the papers and they were filed. But their oldest son was born in Ohio so a Paternity Affidavit is needed to file the divorce in Indiana. During the time it took to send for the forms from Ohio, she decided she was not going to sign the Affidavit and flat out refuses. She has Bi-Polar Disorder and its hard to tell what mood she will be in from minute to minute. She texts my boyfriend daily to threaten and insult him but will not associate with her children or sign the paper.

We know that he is able to file for the divorce without her consent, but without that Affidavit, the forms will not go through the court.

Without hiring an attorney, is there anything he can do to move this process along? I know he can't force her to sign it, but is the alternative staying married until she gives in, or he has the $$ for an attorney?

I appreciate any suggestions.

Why was the paternity of the oldest child questioned? If the court is requiring an AoP, there's some reason. That's not standard in an uncontested divorce here.

He can ask for a final hearing and go argue a contested divorce in front of a judge. No attorney needed, though one would certainly be recommended. In fact, the request for a final hearing is part of the pro se divorce packet provided by the state and most counties.

His best course of action would be to sign up for his own account here so we can ask direct questions and receive accurate answers, because I feel like something is being lost in the translation here.

 

[LdiJ]

Why was the paternity of the oldest child questioned? If the court is requiring an AoP, there's some reason. That's not standard in an uncontested divorce here.

He can ask for a final hearing and go argue a contested divorce in front of a judge. No attorney needed, though one would certainly be recommended. In fact, the request for a final hearing is part of the pro se divorce packet provided by the state and most counties.

His best course of action would be to sign up for his own account here so we can ask direct questions and receive accurate answers, because I feel like something is being lost in the translation here.

He could also wait until the oldest turns 18 and then this mysterious paternity affidavit would be irrelevant.

 

[MommyDearest]

Why was the paternity of the oldest child questioned? If the court is requiring an AoP, there's some reason. That's not standard in an uncontested divorce here.

He can ask for a final hearing and go argue a contested divorce in front of a judge. No attorney needed, though one would certainly be recommended. In fact, the request for a final hearing is part of the pro se divorce packet provided by the state and most counties.

His best course of action would be to sign up for his own account here so we can ask direct questions and receive accurate answers, because I feel like something is being lost in the translation here.

They lived and were married in Ohio. The oldest was born there. The younger two were born in Indiana after they moved here.

He filed the papers and received a notice from the court that a Paternity Affidavit was required for the child born in Ohio. From what I understand, this is required for children born before a certain year.

He has asked me to help research this issue for him and that's why I'm asking the question. We live together. I am helping him care for the children in their mothers absence. We want to get married. He would just like to do this without spending thousands of dollars on an attorney.

Thanks.

 

[stealth2]

Were they actually married when the child was born?

But it really wold be most helpful if he came and asked about his situation himself.

 

[MommyDearest]

Were they actually married when the child was born?

But it really wold be most helpful if he came and asked about his situation himself.

I agree. He is currently out of town on business and I told him when he returns that he should visit the site.

They were married just after he was born so that is why the affidavit is required.

Thank!

 

[ecmst12]

Well that makes sense then. If mom won't sign the AOP then I guess the court would have to order a DNA test...but by the time it was done he might already be 18. He should really talk to a lawyer.

 

[Ohiogal]

If the father was on the birth certificate then the AOP is on file at the BVS -- Bureau of Vital Statistics -- and dad can get it there. If he isn't on the birth certificate, he can file for divorce without including the oldest child OR file with the child but requesting establishment of paternity during the divorce proceedings OR file without the child and engage in a separate paternity action on that child.

OH and OP, remember that you are NOT these children's mother. You also cannot be engaged to a married man.

 

[latigo]

Well that makes sense then. If mom won't sign the AOP then I guess the court would have to order a DNA test...but by the time it was done he might already be 18. He should really talk to a lawyer.

What a ridiculous, uniformed response!

“MommyDearest”, who may conceivably even know less about the subject than you, mentions the need for an affidavit of paternity and you swallow it hook line sinker and run with it as if it were gospel.

Can you not read? Are you so naive as not to know that a child that is either born or conceived during wedlock is presumed to have be the husband’s offspring?

Here the OP writes that at the time the eldest was born the mother and father were married and living in Ohio with the other two following. And they are still married!

Does it make “sense” to you that the parents had to renew their wedding vows in Indiana in order to legitimize the other children because their marriage was solemnized in a sister state?

Does it make “sense” to you that because the other children were born in Indiana that they are somehow considered illegitimate until the wife and mother decides to sign your stupid “AOP”?

Does it make "sense" to you that if the wife refuses to sign your AOP, that DNA testing must be conducted as the only proof of filiation?

This is what your response infers.
_________________

Just because anyone is granted the privilege of contributing to this free legal advice web site doesn’t mean it is always right for anyone to be doing it.

And people like you that do so without the requisite professional training, instruction, study and experience obviously do it to serve some personal agenda without regard for the interests of their innocent readers.

 

[Zigner]

Can you not read? Are you so naive as not to know that a child that is either born or conceived during wedlock is presumed to have be the husband’s offspring?

Lat - did you happen to READ that this child was neither born, nor conceived during wedlock?

***
ETA:

I agree. He is currently out of town on business and I told him when he returns that he should visit the site.

They were married just after he was born so that is why the affidavit is required.

Thank!

***


Glass houses and all


PS: Perhaps you ought to consider staying out of the family law portion of the forums. Your responses in here have been...questionable...at best.

 

[MommyDearest]

If the father was on the birth certificate then the AOP is on file at the BVS -- Bureau of Vital Statistics -- and dad can get it there. If he isn't on the birth certificate, he can file for divorce without including the oldest child OR file with the child but requesting establishment of paternity during the divorce proceedings OR file without the child and engage in a separate paternity action on that child.

OH and OP, remember that you are NOT these children's mother. You also cannot be engaged to a married man.

Thank you for that info. I appreciate it and he just found out the same from the Oh Health Department. That is the only document the court is waiting on and the waiting period is satisfied so it should be finalized within a couple weeks.

As for your other comments... I never stated that I was their mother, nor would I ever presume to be.

I do, however live with these children, care for them on a daily basis and provide for a lot of their needs. I do everything for them and they love me very much. Their father deserves the right to his divorce and financial support from the absent mother who I may remind you, ABANDONED her children. I have children as well and we are all living in harmony.

Not sure what you have personally against people falling in love DURING a divorce (that would have been finalized almost 2 years ago if the mother would sign the damn paper), but it happens all the time. He shouldnt have to place his entire life on hold until she is having a good day and signs the paper. It is obviously not the ideal situation but is is ours.


Thank you all for any information you provided. I appreciate your help an have a great day!

 

[single317dad]

What a ridiculous, uniformed response!

Indeed.

latigo, you've really been going off the deep end lately. Every post you make should include a disclaimer at this point.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you for that info. I appreciate it and he just found out the same from the Oh Health Department. That is the only document the court is waiting on and the waiting period is satisfied so it should be finalized within a couple weeks.

As for your other comments... I never stated that I was their mother, nor would I ever presume to be.

Well you chose the user name Mommydearest.

I do, however live with these children, care for them on a daily basis and provide for a lot of their needs. I do everything for them and they love me very much. Their father deserves the right to his divorce and financial support from the absent mother who I may remind you, ABANDONED her children. I have children as well and we are all living in harmony.

Not sure what you have personally against people falling in love DURING a divorce (that would have been finalized almost 2 years ago if the mother would sign the damn paper), but it happens all the time. He shouldnt have to place his entire life on hold until she is having a good day and signs the paper. It is obviously not the ideal situation but is is ours.

I have seen what happens to children when their parents are in such a hurry that they start committing adultery without giving any consideration to children who are having their lives disrupted. He didn't have to wait until she signed a paper. HE could have filed a contested divorce 2 years ago if it was a priority. He chose not to do so and instead continue committing adultery.
He needs to own up to HIS responsibility in this situation. She never had to sign a paper at all. He could have done this many other ways.

 

[LdiJ]

Well you chose the user name Mommydearest.

I have seen what happens to children when their parents are in such a hurry that they start committing adultery without giving any consideration to children who are having their lives disrupted. He didn't have to wait until she signed a paper. HE could have filed a contested divorce 2 years ago if it was a priority. He chose not to do so and instead continue committing adultery.
He needs to own up to HIS responsibility in this situation. She never had to sign a paper at all. He could have done this many other ways.

While I absolutely agree with you about this, unfortunately there are a lot of people out there who simply don't know that. People who flat out don't realize that they don't need the cooperation of the other party to get a divorce.