Sexting, etc.

[tranquility]

Three attorneys have advised to delete, and do nothing else. One even said the questions/concerns were dramatic.

While I agree with the advice, I am amazed an attorney speaking directly to a client would give it.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Three attorneys have advised to delete, and do nothing else. One even said the questions/concerns were dramatic.

Everyone in their life, regardless of how moral they attempt to be, breaks laws. Though no one should advise you to break the law, you also have a parental duty to your child. If I were in your position, junior would be getting a phone call requesting his and dads presence for a family meeting. I would also SERIOUSLY consider whether your computer needs to be reviewed for junk files and defragmenting. If that does not speed up your system to a satisfactory level and you have a laptop with factory restore, I would then restore it to factory. That should help speed it up also.

 

[tranquility]

Everyone in their life, regardless of how moral they attempt to be, breaks laws. Though no one should advise you to break the law, you also have a parental duty to your child. If I were in your position, junior would be getting a phone call requesting his and dads presence for a family meeting. I would also SERIOUSLY consider whether your computer needs to be reviewed for junk files and defragmenting. If that does not speed up your system to a satisfactory level and you have a laptop with factory restore, I would then restore it to factory. That should help speed it up also.

http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/five-apps/five-hard-disk-cleaning-and-erasing-tools/
http://pcsupport.about.com/od/toolsofthetrade/tp/free-data-destruction-software.htm
http://www.pcworld.com/article/261702/how_to_securely_erase_your_hard_drive.html

 

[quincy]

Three attorneys have advised to delete, and do nothing else. One even said the questions/concerns were dramatic.

I would speak with a fourth attorney, then.

NO attorney is going to advise over the phone or on an initial consultation that evidence of photographs of naked children be deleted and to do nothing else.

There are potential felony charges possible and, while I think it unlikely anything of that sort will come from it (diversion is the preferred choice of prosecutors throughout most of Michigan), the parents of the girls can certainly move on this should they discover questionable texts from, and photos of, the son.

But, of course, the decision is up to you, kaizen. I wish you and your son the best of luck (I have a feeling you may need it).

I most especially wish the best to the young girls.

 

[LdiJ]

I would speak with a fourth attorney, then.

NO attorney is going to advise over the phone or on an initial consultation that evidence of photographs of naked children be deleted and to do nothing else.

There are potential felony charges possible and, while I think it unlikely anything of that sort will come from it (diversion is the preferred choice of prosecutors throughout most of Michigan), the parents of the girls can certainly move on this should they discover questionable texts from, and photos of, the son.

But, of course, the decision is up to you, kaizen. I wish you and your son the best of luck (I have a feeling you may need it).

I most especially wish the best to the young girls.

I would still tend to go with debt collector's advice for my own computer, if nothing else.

 

[quincy]

I would still tend to go with debt collector's advice for my own computer, if nothing else.

You and everyone else, apparently.

I still strongly doubt that this was the advice offered by three Michigan attorneys in a phone call or initial consultation. . . . . .

 

[TigerD]

You and everyone else, apparently.

I still strongly doubt that this was the advice offered by three Michigan attorneys in a phone call or initial consultation. . . . . .

In fairness -- I did say quincy's advice was the correct legal thing to do.

DC

 

[kaizen]

Thank you for the input tonight. I really appreciate it.

Quincy, for real. Three attorneys. I was, to some degree, wishing one of them would have said differently. Much like I was wishing the police would have locked him up on his assault charge on 6-23 (instead of arresting then letting him go), I am again wishing for some help somewhere before he winds up in the jail or prison, and am willing to take the tough love stance.

And he may get locked up on 8-14 for contempt (since he is not home). Judge said last month that if he had been in the courtroom, he would have locked him up. I don't imagine judge is going to be pleased that three weeks later we're back on that same issue, and he is once again holed up at his dad's.

Anyhow, that really was the advice I was given three times and I am grateful for the dialog here.

 

[quincy]

Thank you for the input tonight. I really appreciate it.

Quincy, for real. Three attorneys. I was, to some degree, wishing one of them would have said differently. Much like I was wishing the police would have locked him up on his assault charge on 6-23 (instead of arresting then letting him go), I am again wishing for some help somewhere before he winds up in the jail or prison, and am willing to take the tough love stance.

And he may get locked up on 8-14 for contempt (since he is not home). Judge said last month that if he had been in the courtroom, he would have locked him up. I don't imagine judge is going to be pleased that three weeks later we're back on that same issue, and he is once again holed up at his dad's.

Anyhow, that really was the advice I was given three times and I am grateful for the dialog here.

I am surprised. Really surprised.

Good luck to you, your son, and all involved.



edit to add - I wasn't going to add this but thought I should, because this was not one attorney from Michigan who was said to have recommended deletion but three. Read Michigan Rules of Professional Conduct, Rule 3.4(a), to see why I am surprised by, and question, kaizen's statement.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I would be having the child in major major counseling. Bring it up in court and see what the judge has to say - I say in-patient is the way to go. With no phone (texting)/internet access.

If the other parent gets involve, then I could see more involvement than you care to live with.

 

[kaizen]

We've turned 180 degrees this morning.

After digesting much of what everyone said (emphasis on a lot of what Quincy said), I made one more call. I called another attorney, who used to be a cop. He said me having the pictures on the computer is not a ohmygod kind of thing - as it easily explained that they are/were there in the act of being a proactive parent and checking on son's phone as opposed to someone seeking out porn.

However, if I do nothing and something bad happens - from the girl's parents finding out (although he did put that into perspective by saying they were willing picture takers, and they are singular persons in the photos - themselves), to a future sexual assault, to ex finding out I knew and using this as a tool in yet another custody move - the repercussions for me could be huge.

It's no secret that there is a trail of what I knew when I knew it - from being here to conversations to my therapist, to dates on downloads on my pc, etc.

I think it's time to go and implement that lesson of hard love and I'm sad and fearful. Also, the atty said it's very unlikely that son would be looking at 20 years and time on the sex offender list (as someone else here said). So that part offers the smallest bit of comfort.

Now I need to go put on my big girl britches. I need someone to hold me....

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I really feel your you; I would hate to be in your position. I hope you son can get the help that he needs. He's been a pawn in a nasty divorce.

 

[Antigone*]

We've turned 180 degrees this morning.

After digesting much of what everyone said (emphasis on a lot of what Quincy said), I made one more call. I called another attorney, who used to be a cop. He said me having the pictures on the computer is not a ohmygod kind of thing - as it easily explained that they are/were there in the act of being a proactive parent and checking on son's phone as opposed to someone seeking out porn.

However, if I do nothing and something bad happens - from the girl's parents finding out (although he did put that into perspective by saying they were willing picture takers, and they are singular persons in the photos - themselves), to a future sexual assault, to ex finding out I knew and using this as a tool in yet another custody move - the repercussions for me could be huge.

It's no secret that there is a trail of what I knew when I knew it - from being here to conversations to my therapist, to dates on downloads on my pc, etc.

I think it's time to go and implement that lesson of hard love and I'm sad and fearful. Also, the atty said it's very unlikely that son would be looking at 20 years and time on the sex offender list (as someone else here said). So that part offers the smallest bit of comfort.

Now I need to go put on my big girl britches. I need someone to hold me....

Kaizen, someone is already holding you. Read Philippians 4:13 and 4:19

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Consider mom having the comfort of another parent standing beside her, supporting her well researched and lovingly made decision to exercise tough love, as she loves and fears for her childs future.