What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia
Let me warn you that this will be length. I apologize in advance. I have been divorced since December 2011. I am at my wits end with my ex-husbands harassment and threats. Some of his behavior started prior to our divorce was finalized. He took money from our accounts. I had to agree to not pursue that with his command in order to get him to sign our separation agreement. We did an uncontested divorce and fast tracked it and his request, to marry someone he met online and never actually seen at that point. Then didn’t want to sign. I agreed because it wasn’t worth the fighting and until he signed the agreement which gave me the house I legally couldn’t stop him from showing up and coming in. After, he signed the agreement; he would still trespass on the property knowing I wouldn’t call the police with the kids there. I didn’t want to expose them to that. Well one day, he refused to leave the house. He pushed his way in. I stepped around him to open the screen door and asked him to leave. He then tried to lock me out of my house with the kids in there. At that point, they were crying and hiding in my son’s room due to him yelling. I fought my way back into my house by pushing the door open against him with all I had and went for my phone to call the police. He saw this and then took off running out of the house and when I went to shut the door he ran back and kicked it open and hit me with the door leaving a bruise. He then took off running. I finally shut the door. I didn’t call the police and instead focused on calming my children. I reported it to his command (he is active duty) and they did nothing. With his new wife, it became constant harassment about the child support he agreed and repeated texts telling me how lazy I am. She didn’t like how much he had to pay me. Mind you we agreed on the amount on our own.
4 months after the divorce, I got a new job with a major pay raise. One day, he was parked behind me getting the kids. He put him in his car. I was in my car waiting for him to leave and pull out so I could get to work. I had my window down. He approached and asked my new salary. I refused to tell him. He said he wanted to lower child support and would file against me and I told him that was his right. When I refused to tell him what I make and my new employers name he started to call me fat, stupid, etc. and then tried to reach into the car at me. I rolled up my window. He eventually drove off. On my own about 1 month later, I agreed to lower child support by $200/month due to my raise and trying to be fair.
He is supposed to cover the kids on medical and dental. There was a mix up when he reenlisted and the kids got dropped from dental. Even with the letter from MetLife showing they were dropped he didn’t believe me. He kept messing around and said $20/month was too much to pay. I gave up and added them to my dental at work. They are also on my vision. He covers their medical still which is free for him.
He refused to pay half of medical bills as ordered. The only way I have gotten any money is by taking what he owed me from our last tax return together. Otherwise he would over me over $300. Now he owes me about $70 that I have even bothered to ask him for and he won’t pay.
I am remarried now to a great man. In the beginning of that relationship, my ex husband text me and call me trying to find out information about my now husband such as where he works, car he drives, etc. He would repeatedly take the kids for his visit then text me all weekend trying to get me to get the kids early, threatening to call the police. When I would finally relent, he would say never mind. He kept texting me and calling me sweetheart, telling me I am fat, lazy, need to wear make-up, no one will ever love me. It was constant complaints about child support and how he shouldn’t have to pay half of medical bills. He would not show up on time for visits causing late fees and the babysitters. Or just not show up for hours and not answer his phone leaving us rushed to find childcare or someone to pick up the kids since we both work full time. Until I put my foot down, he refused to buy clothes for his place for visits and I had to send them with clothes, pajamas, etc. every weekend. I had to send towels from my house and toys and books and he even argued about having to buy a toothbrush and toothpaste for them.
We were letting him see the kids every weekend even though we only have to let him every other weekend. Due to the kids acting out more, we switched back to every other weekend. If I don’t agree to give up my weekend for something he planned he throws a fit. He is now blocked from calling me or texting me and has to communicate with my husband. Still, it’s the same harassment, threats, accusing my husband of being a sex offender, controlling me, beating the kids. He went so far as taking the kids to urgent care and claiming my husband abused my son due to a small bruise. The doctor offered to call CPS on what my ex told him but he declined and it even says in the report that my ex said he had no safety concerns for the kids. So why did he subject him to that? My son was very affected by it afterwards. I am a mandated reporter and I don’t give people an option if I think abuse is going on, I just report it.
The most recent thing is there is apparently a mole amongst me and my husband. My ex told us someone is giving him print outs of my FB page. I went through a deleted everyone that may know him. It has also come to my attention that my neighbor, who I thought was a friend, and confided in, has been taking every argument me and my husband had, anything we do, and giving the information to her husband who then tells my ex.
What are my options? I saw an attorney about 6 months ago who said I could possibly prove harassment but it would be hard. Otherwise, she said I have no options. I thought about seeking a different opinion? Any advice? Before anyone assumes otherwise, I am educated and work full time and make more money than my ex. I pay the mortgage and could pay my own way even without my new husband’s income. I pay for all school events, extra-curricular activities and all medical bills as of now. My son is on an IEP and I am the only one that participates in that.
