How to prove violation of first rights of refusal?

[stealth2]

Yes, some PARENTS abuse this, but, IMO, it is much more common that it is used as a compromise.

Fixed that for ya. Now we see what your agenda is.

 

[NYCTeacher]

Fixed that for ya. Now we see what your agenda is.

A ROFR benefits the child more then either parent....It allows the childs parents to work as a team to discuss the best child care situation for when one of the parents is available

 

[LdiJ]

A ROFR benefits the child more then either parent....It allows the childs parents to work as a team to discuss the best child care situation for when one of the parents is available

No, it allows some parents, and you obviously fall into that category, to think that they have the right to a "discussion" to put it in your terms, about whether children should spend time with the other parent's extended family. That isn't co-parenting, that's abusing the process.

 

[NYCTeacher]

No, it allows some parents, and you obviously fall into that category, to think that they have the right to a "discussion" to put it in your terms, about whether children should spend time with the other parent's extended family. That isn't co-parenting, that's abusing the process.

Wow, I would love to analysis the relationship between you and your ex.....Do you two not discuss ANYTHING? Doctors appointments? School trips? Extra Curriculars? Kids dating? Sleepovers?

Here's the thing, just because you and your ex are not married anymore, does not mean you are both not parents anymore....Those same PARENTING discussions you had when you were married, are just as, if not MORE important to have now that you are apart. Some say it takes a village to raise a child, i disagree with that, but there is no question it take two INVOLVED parents.....Cutting the kids other parent out of the day to day things isn't doing that kid any favors....

 

[stealth2]

A ROFR benefits the child more then either parent....It allows the childs parents to work as a team to discuss the best child care situation for when one of the parents is available

But according to YOU, only Mom abuses it. Dad is always a saint. Right.

 

[NYCTeacher]

But according to YOU, only Mom abuses it. Dad is always a saint. Right.

With the Average father having 20%-30% Parenting time with the child, even if given EVERY available minute of a ROFR, it would be impossible for him to abuse it, you will very rarely if ever see a father quit his job or become a SAHD to abuse a ROFR clause...Where as mothers, with a typical 70%-80%, do that quite a bit, how many SAHM's do YOU know?

This is changing though! A lot more women are looking at work a lot more seriously and the balance is just starting to swing closer to center

 

[LdiJ]

Wow, I would love to analysis the relationship between you and your ex.....Do you two not discuss ANYTHING? Doctors appointments? School trips? Extra Curriculars? Kids dating? Sleepovers?

Here's the thing, just because you and your ex are not married anymore, does not mean you are both not parents anymore....Those same PARENTING discussions you had when you were married, are just as, if not MORE important to have now that you are apart. Some say it takes a village to raise a child, i disagree with that, but there is no question it take two INVOLVED parents.....Cutting the kids other parent out of the day to day things isn't doing that kid any favors....

My ex and I talked all the time. We ended up being best friends. Our eventual relationship with like having another brother. However, he never would have dreamed of attempting to have any input in whether or not our child spent time with my family, nor would I have dreamed of having any input in whether or not our child spent time with his family.

The same thing applied to sleepovers...we actually trusted each other's judgment.

 

[Antigone*]

At the end of the day, it is clear that mom is going to have a very tough time proving that Dad is violating the ROFR. Mom needs to relax during the time her child is with the other parent instead of sketching on the fact that maybe 4 hours have passed and maybe kiddo isn't with dad.

Buy hey, it is in her order and she has sufficient proof to bring a motion in front of a judge, then more power to her

 

[torimac]

With the Average father having 20%-30% Parenting time with the child, even if given EVERY available minute of a ROFR, it would be impossible for him to abuse it, you will very rarely if ever see a father quit his job or become a SAHD to abuse a ROFR clause...Where as mothers, with a typical 70%-80%, do that quite a bit, how many SAHM's do YOU know?

This is changing though! A lot more women are looking at work a lot more seriously and the balance is just starting to swing closer to center

I would love to see where you got your statistics. The balance has already changed. Women make up half of the work force; 70% of mothers work outside the home (http://www.bls.gov/news.release/famee.nr0.htm). So, how are 70-80% of the mothers SAHM?

And the 'average father' not receiving custody is a myth of bias. Many simply do not ask for it or were not the primary caregiver, which affects custody decisions. I can tell you from personal experience, even though my husband and I both worked, I was the one giving the baths, changing diapers, seeing the child off to school, picking the child up from school when she was sick.

You need to update your data and viewpoint.

 

[CSO286]

With the Average father having 20%-30% Parenting time with the child, even if given EVERY available minute of a ROFR, it would be impossible for him to abuse it, you will very rarely if ever see a father quit his job or become a SAHD to abuse a ROFR clause...Where as mothers, with a typical 70%-80%, do that quite a bit, how many SAHM's do YOU know?This is changing though! A lot more women are looking at work a lot more seriously and the balance is just starting to swing closer to center

Where is your data coming from?

 

[NYCTeacher]

Where is your data coming from?

The internet....Can you dispute them? It would be logically that if the average father has 20-30% parenting time that the average mother would have 70-80% parenting time....Unless time is just a matter of perception instead of a concrete measurement....There are some who believe Time is cyclical instead of linear, but i'm not sure that applies in this case.

 

[stealth2]

how many SAHM's do YOU know?

None, as it happens.

And - no way are you a teacher.

 

[torimac]

The internet....Can you dispute them? It would be logically that if the average father has 20-30% parenting time that the average mother would have 70-80% parenting time....Unless time is just a matter of perception instead of a concrete measurement....There are some who believe Time is cyclical instead of linear, but i'm not sure that applies in this case.

Ok, now we know you are not a math teacher. You need to look up the definitions of average and logic.