Have you seen this?

[stealth2]

It was the way you phrased it that gave me that impression Stealth2:



This sounds like a dictatorship instead of a Republic....I'm sorry if i miss understood the quote above

Well, I guess you didn't research as much as you claimed you did.

 

[ecmst12]

So you got to vote on who your parents were? And you allow your kids to do the same? If they like the guy down the block better than you, they can vote you out? I don't think so. But that would explain a lot, if you ARE allowing that.

 

[Ladyback1]

didn't read the article, didn't watch the video....

However: I did quit forcing my children to go their father's. They didn't want to go, and he did not make any effort to be a parent when they were there--and has not made any effort to try and have any sort of relationship with his children. (and the parenting plan states that all overnight visitation is at my discretion. The Ex chose to represent himself, and he chose NOT to fight for any sort of visitation schedule or parenting time. Of course, the children were older when we divorced...age does make a difference in this state.)

That being said; if he showed any sort of inclination to have a relationship with the children, I would be all in and have the children at the designated exchange point, on time every time (he moved 4 hours away)--with me paying for my own travel expenses.

And, while I choose what battles I fight with regards to the kids (I don't mandate how long or short their hair is, and as long as they are wearing clean and non-offensive Tshirts I don't gripe too much about their wardrobe, etc.), they do know that what I or their step-dad says is how it's going to be. And being teenagers they complain, but they do what they are instructed to do, and typically do a good job. They know that we have high expectations for them, and they strive to meet those expectations. And I (and their step-dad) know that they are teenagers, and as such they will occasionally screw up.

 

[ecmst12]

If your order has visitation at your discretion, then you have no obligation to force them to go. Most people do not have that in their orders.

 

[Ladyback1]

If your order has visitation at your discretion, then you have no obligation to force them to go. Most people do not have that in their orders.

He thought it was ok to have strange people (off of craigslist) over to the house (during the marriage) for the proverbial "booty call"....I did not trust him to NOT do that in the presence of the kids.

I had an attorney, he chose not to. My attorney knew the history and recommended the "at the discretion of "Ladyback1". He did not fight that, nor has he made a peep about seeing his children in 2 years.

I realize that my situation is unique...and I'm very thankful that my attorney had the foresight to put the discretion clause in our parenting plan!

 

[NYCTeacher]

He thought it was ok to have strange people (off of craigslist) over to the house (during the marriage) for the proverbial "booty call"....I did not trust him to NOT do that in the presence of the kids.

I had an attorney, he chose not to. My attorney knew the history and recommended the "at the discretion of "Ladyback1". He did not fight that, nor has he made a peep about seeing his children in 2 years.

I realize that my situation is unique...and I'm very thankful that my attorney had the foresight to put the discretion clause in our parenting plan!

You are saying that you are happy your children are being raised without a father, because he was dating?

One of the duties of a custodial parent, in a lot of the standard parenting agreements is to, "Exert every reasonable effort to maintain free access and unhampered contact between the children and the other parent" Now, that's not the exact wording in all of them, but the idea is written into almost every standard parenting plan.

Man, i wish more fathers would post on this forum, that clause is rediculous, there is no way that should have been allowed!

 

[LdiJ]

You are saying that you are happy your children are being raised without a father, because he was dating?

One of the duties of a custodial parent, in a lot of the standard parenting agreements is to, "Exert every reasonable effort to maintain free access and unhampered contact between the children and the other parent" Now, that's not the exact wording in all of them, but the idea is written into almost every standard parenting plan.

Man, i wish more fathers would post on this forum, that clause is rediculous, there is no way that should have been allowed!

The word is ridiculous.

Having women from craig's list over for a booty call is a tad bit different than "dating". In addition, ladyback's ex has expressed no interest in their children in two years.

There are lots of fathers on this forum.

 

[stealth2]

The word is ridiculous.

Having women from craig's list over for a booty call is a tad bit different than "dating". In addition, ladyback's ex has expressed no interest in their children in two years.

There are lots of fathers on this forum.

Thank you, LDi. "TeacherDude" really IS ridiculous. It needs to go away.

 

[Ladyback1]

You are saying that you are happy your children are being raised without a father, because he was dating?

One of the duties of a custodial parent, in a lot of the standard parenting agreements is to, "Exert every reasonable effort to maintain free access and unhampered contact between the children and the other parent" Now, that's not the exact wording in all of them, but the idea is written into almost every standard parenting plan.

Man, i wish more fathers would post on this forum, that clause is rediculous, there is no way that should have been allowed!

.

1) he was "dating" while we were still married---and conducting those "dates" in the family home while I was at work, and the children were at school
2) he was "choosing" his dates from Craigslist, thus complete and utter strangers
3) his "dates" were mostly of the "blow and go" variety --and mostly men

My Ex, during our marriage, was an abusive and unpredictable bi-polar. The children were afraid of him. I *made* the children go visit their father(he was never physically abusive to them, just me)....up until the visit that their father's girlfriend got angry w/ the oldest child and shoved him hard enough that he stumbled backward and knocked a TV off of its stand. Since that visit? You bet I invoked the discretionary clause! And you know what else? My Ex, hasn't bothered to contact the children, doesn't acknowledge their birthdays, Christmas or any other holiday (no, not even a phone call). The Ex refuses to see the boys if they won't accept his now wife (yeah, the one that shoved a 13 y/o kid).

And I will probably get roasted by some of the senior members but: My boyfriend (we live together) is more of father to the kids, than my Ex ever was. He has taught, by example, how a gentleman behaves--not only to women but to society as a whole. He has taught, gently and patiently, the boys life skills that they will need to be productive and self-sufficient members of society. The boys refer to him as stepdad (even though we haven't gotten married).

I chose unwisely on who I married (the Ex), but, he is 1/2 of my children---without him, I wouldn't have my boys! I work pretty hard to remedy by poor decision by providing the boys with the best possible male role models.
So, while it may appear on the surface that I was/am just an angry woman, out to screw over the Ex---nothing is further from the truth. All I have done, and will continue to do, is make sure my children are safe, loved and raised in a healthy and happy environment!

 

[CSO286]

You are saying that you are happy your children are being raised without a father, because he was dating?

One of the duties of a custodial parent, in a lot of the standard parenting agreements is to, "Exert every reasonable effort to maintain free access and unhampered contact between the children and the other parent" Now, that's not the exact wording in all of them, but the idea is written into almost every standard parenting plan.

Man, i wish more fathers would post on this forum, that clause is rediculous, there is no way that should have been allowed!

How many court ordered have to read? Seriously, I'm asking.

I've read more than my fair share, not quite as many as OhioGAL, and I haven't seen very many with a clause like that.

And to addres the one in Ladyback's order. you don't know the history, you don't know the situation. There are several different VALID reasons why a Judge would grant visitation at the sole discretion of the other party.

 

[randomdancing]

This dad is just plain stupid to start with for ever letting his son think it was his decision, and then he turns around and compounds the stupidity by putting that information and video out on the internet.

I have seen some parents do some really foolish things, but this one is probably the worst of the worst.

I think the child should have some input on living arrangements when they are old enough.. That being said, the dad in this situation went about it in the worst way possible. What happened to co-parenting? The mom had suggested the boy come inside and talk to her and he refused. It may have played out differently if he had. Maybe not exactly what he wanted, bu possibly more time at dads, more freedom. Dad should have stood up and made his son do the right thing, and the mature thing. Instead he sat by because it was for his own benefit.

 

[NYCTeacher]

How many court ordered have to read? Seriously, I'm asking.

I've read more than my fair share, not quite as many as OhioGAL, and I haven't seen very many with a clause like that.

Each of my 3 going on 4 orders i've written myself, taken from standard parenting plans i've found online for Dozens of states....While i can't say i've read every one, i've atleast skimmed 4/5ths of them all....Many of them have clauses that require both parents to foster the relationship between the kids and the other parent, most use language just like that, some mention "Neither party shall do anything which may estrange the child from the other parent" Still others talk about "Injuring the childs opinion of the parent" and some just mention "Respect for the other parent"

Odd's are when it comes to this subject, i'm the most well versed on the forum

And to address the one in Ladyback's order. you don't know the history, you don't know the situation. There are several different VALID reasons why a Judge would grant visitation at the sole discretion of the other party.

Your right, i was just basing it on what she told us, how could i do anything else with an online forum? Should i have assumed he was the devil incarnate and make up evil deeds he had done? Or maybe assume he is mother Theresa and that everything else he's ever done was perfect? With online forums, you kinda have to work with the information provided....And that's what i did

 

[Ohiogal]

I think the child should have some input on living arrangements when they are old enough.. That being said, the dad in this situation went about it in the worst way possible. What happened to co-parenting? The mom had suggested the boy come inside and talk to her and he refused. It may have played out differently if he had. Maybe not exactly what he wanted, bu possibly more time at dads, more freedom. Dad should have stood up and made his son do the right thing, and the mature thing. Instead he sat by because it was for his own benefit.

Should a child have input on whether he or she goes to school? Does homework? Goes to the doctor? Truthfully dad in this situation should have nothing but supervised visits -- thus limiting the time he gets completely -- due to his improper attitude.

 

[Ohiogal]

Each of my 3 going on 4 orders i've written myself, taken from standard parenting plans i've found online for Dozens of states....While i can't say i've read every one, i've atleast skimmed 4/5ths of them all....Many of them have clauses that require both parents to foster the relationship between the kids and the other parent, most use language just like that, some mention "Neither party shall do anything which may estrange the child from the other parent" Still others talk about "Injuring the childs opinion of the parent" and some just mention "Respect for the other parent"

Odd's are when it comes to this subject, i'm the most well versed on the forum



Your right, i was just basing it on what she told us, how could i do anything else with an online forum? Should i have assumed he was the devil incarnate and make up evil deeds he had done? Or maybe assume he is mother Theresa and that everything else he's ever done was perfect? With online forums, you kinda have to work with the information provided....And that's what i did

I guarantee that you are not. You don't even begin to get past the first stanza. And even that stanza is off-key.

 

[CSO286]

Each of my 3 going on 4 orders i've written myself, taken from standard parenting plans i've found online for Dozens of states....While i can't say i've read every one, i've atleast skimmed 4/5ths of them all....Many of them have clauses that require both parents to foster the relationship between the kids and the other parent, most use language just like that, some mention "Neither party shall do anything which may estrange the child from the other parent" Still others talk about "Injuring the childs opinion of the parent" and some just mention "Respect for the other parent"

Odd's are when it comes to this subject, i'm the most well versed on the forum


Your right, i was just basing it on what she told us, how could i do anything else with an online forum? Should i have assumed he was the devil incarnate and make up evil deeds he had done? Or maybe assume he is mother Theresa and that everything else he's ever done was perfect? With online forums, you kinda have to work with the information provided....And that's what i did

No, what you did was form your opinion based on one post in one thread. You didn't bother researching backstory. That nifty option allowing us to search a poster's history? Invalueable.

You are claiming more knowlege of family law than a family law attorney and GAL, people who work in family law, the courts, child support and social services systems?

Quincy, can I get a Funsucker over here?

Rideswithmorons, may I offer you a macaroon?

I think the child should have some input on living arrangements when they are old enough.. That being said, the dad in this situation went about it in the worst way possible. What happened to co-parenting? The mom had suggested the boy come inside and talk to her and he refused. It may have played out differently if he had. Maybe not exactly what he wanted, bu possibly more time at dads, more freedom. Dad should have stood up and made his son do the right thing, and the mature thing. Instead he sat by because it was for his own benefit.

That bit about "when they are old enough"?

A child is [legally] old enough to have input on his/her living arrangements at 18 (or 19, depending on state).