What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL
Our MSA states that my ex is to receive 50% of my 403b. There is no valuation date in the document, nor does it address whether the value will includes any gains/losses incurred while we wait for the QDRO to be executed. It has been over a year and my ex has done nothing to start the process. She says she cannot afford to pay her attorney, and, this having been an extremely ugly divorce that forced me into bankruptcy, I will not give her a dime to help. (Everything I have read says that her side is responsible for having the order executed, and she doesn't disput that.) The issue is, I need to change the allocations in my account to be much more aggressive in order to try and make up for the loss in giving her half. The plan administrator advises against making these changes until the money has been transferred, as any losses would affect her half and she might demand the full dollar amount from the day of the divorce. I have no issue with giving her that dollar amount, but I will not share in any gains if she does not agree to also share in any losses. Because the QDRO does not address this either way I feel a bit stuck. I've read that these things can drag out for years, and I don't feel it is fair that I cannot move on because she won't take care of her part. Can I have her sign an agreement stating that she waives her right to any gains/losses from the date of the divorce? If she signs this, can the attorney who eventually completes the QDRO just ignore it and say that it is not in the decree and so whatever she signed is meaningless? I have searched and searched, but I cannot find anything that says whether Illinois has a default position on this topic if it is not addressed in the MSA.
And before anybody says I should just pay her attorney to do the QDRO: No. I have my reasons, and it is not an option. I just need advice as to whether any document she signs will hold up in the future.
Sorry for the length of the post. I'm just trying to get it all in. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Our MSA states that my ex is to receive 50% of my 403b. There is no valuation date in the document, nor does it address whether the value will includes any gains/losses incurred while we wait for the QDRO to be executed. It has been over a year and my ex has done nothing to start the process. She says she cannot afford to pay her attorney, and, this having been an extremely ugly divorce that forced me into bankruptcy, I will not give her a dime to help. (Everything I have read says that her side is responsible for having the order executed, and she doesn't disput that.) The issue is, I need to change the allocations in my account to be much more aggressive in order to try and make up for the loss in giving her half. The plan administrator advises against making these changes until the money has been transferred, as any losses would affect her half and she might demand the full dollar amount from the day of the divorce. I have no issue with giving her that dollar amount, but I will not share in any gains if she does not agree to also share in any losses. Because the QDRO does not address this either way I feel a bit stuck. I've read that these things can drag out for years, and I don't feel it is fair that I cannot move on because she won't take care of her part. Can I have her sign an agreement stating that she waives her right to any gains/losses from the date of the divorce? If she signs this, can the attorney who eventually completes the QDRO just ignore it and say that it is not in the decree and so whatever she signed is meaningless? I have searched and searched, but I cannot find anything that says whether Illinois has a default position on this topic if it is not addressed in the MSA.
And before anybody says I should just pay her attorney to do the QDRO: No. I have my reasons, and it is not an option. I just need advice as to whether any document she signs will hold up in the future.
Sorry for the length of the post. I'm just trying to get it all in. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
