Rights of non-custodial on counseling for child

[mcwjjm]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

I'm the residential parent and legal custodian for our two children. All decision making rights, including health-related decisions have been entrusted to me per our last court order. I recently established services for our oldest child [11] to start seeing a psychologist. This was something his mother encouraged but up until just recently no one else felt was needed. She found a "suicide" text on his phone and took him to Children's hospital, they kept him overnight for observation but released him to me the next day, much to the misday of his mother. She bluntly told me recently that she's trying to get custody of the children [again], so this seems like another ploy on her part to build a case vs what's in the best interest of the children.

I've already met with the doctor and our son will met him on Monday. My question is if she wants to attend the session can I keep her from doing so since she doesn't have any rights regarding his health services? I just feel this will end up in a situation where we are defending our positions and taking time away from determining if our son actually needs services. TIA

 

[stealth2]

Seriously? You want the child's other parent barred from being involved in the child's mental health evaluation? Really?

 

[mcwjjm]

I was looking for an answer to my question, not a judgement on my motives.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

I'm the residential parent and legal custodian for our two children. All decision making rights, including health-related decisions have been entrusted to me per our last court order. I recently established services for our oldest child [11] to start seeing a psychologist. This was something his mother encouraged but up until just recently no one else felt was needed. She found a "suicide" text on his phone and took him to Children's hospital, they kept him overnight for observation but released him to me the next day, much to the misday of his mother. She bluntly told me recently that she's trying to get custody of the children [again], so this seems like another ploy on her part to build a case vs what's in the best interest of the children.

I've already met with the doctor and our son will met him on Monday. My question is if she wants to attend the session can I keep her from doing so since she doesn't have any rights regarding his health services? I just feel this will end up in a situation where we are defending our positions and taking time away from determining if our son actually needs services. TIA

No. You cannot prevent her from attending. Anymore than she can prevent you from participating. That should be left to the doctor who should be attending sessions. Mom has those rights unless the court order prohibits it. Did you ever think that you are part of the problem?

 

[stealth2]

I was looking for an answer to my question, not a judgement on my motives.

Oh well.... You get what you get when you ask for FREE advice.

 

[mcwjjm]

No. You cannot prevent her from attending. Anymore than she can prevent you from participating. That should be left to the doctor who should be attending sessions. Mom has those rights unless the court order prohibits it. Did you ever think that you are part of the problem?

It states in our court order "... all decision-making rights be entrusted to the Father...".

 

[Ohiogal]

It states in our court order "... all decision-making rights be entrusted to the Father...".

Attending counseling is NOT decision making. Mother attending counseling is participating. Not making decisions. She is ALLOWED to do that unless your court order prohibits her attending doctor's appointments, school functions and the like. The law is very specific. Unless she is barred in the court order, she can do it. So the answer is YES. Now quit interfering with her legal rights. And I will take it that you believe mom is the problem and you are the sainted one in this picture.

Newsflash -- you are not the sainted one. The child has TWO parents. Not just you oh almighty decision maker. Decision maker does NOT mean dictator. So quit acting the part.

 

[mcwjjm]

I just got off the phone with the psychologist and he said the mother has rights, that if she wants to speak with him she can set up her own account and they can discuss the matter at length. I would prefer she not piggy back off my dime or turn the scheduled session for myself / child into a situation where we spend more time defending our positions vs time spent focusing on the child. If the doctor felt it necessary to speak with Father and Mother, initially, he would have requested to include her.

 

[Ohiogal]

I just got off the phone with the psychologist and he said the mother has rights, that if she wants to speak with him she can set up her own account and they can discuss the matter at length. I would prefer she not piggy back off my dime or turn the scheduled session for myself / child into a situation where we spend more time defending our positions vs time spent focusing on the child. If the doctor felt it necessary to speak with Father and Mother, initially, he would have requested to include her.

So you are going to be a jerk. This session was purportedly about the CHILD -- the mutual child. Please get yourself an attorney to help you. Because quite frankly, your attitude is pathetic and I am not going to waste my time. YOUR dime? YOUR session? Bull. YOUR child has issues. The MUTUAL child of the two of you. And you want to exclude mom because it is all about YOUR control and YOUR money and YOUR power trip.

 

[mcwjjm]

Wow. This is just what the doctor told me. I'm not the one that sets office protocal. I simply asked him how these situations are handled.

 

[Ohiogal]

Wow. This is just what the doctor told me. I'm not the one that sets office protocal. I simply asked him how these situations are handled.

Wrong. That is not just what the doctor told you. Really? The doctor said the following:

I would prefer she not piggy back off my dime or turn the scheduled session for myself / child into a situation where we spend more time defending our positions vs time spent focusing on the child. If the doctor felt it necessary to speak with Father and Mother, initially, he would have requested to include her.

?

The doctor said you would prefer she not piggy back off your dime or the scheduled session for YOU and the mutual child into a situation? Seems like YOU are the one with that attitude. Truthfully, mother should be included initially to get her background opinion on the situation and not just be about YOUR thoughts of child's problems. But whatever. You have shown your true colors. This is about a power trip and control for you. You don't even see how your actions could be contributing to your child's issues? REALLY? Congrats. Again, go hire counsel. I don't feel like wasting time on someone who puts their wants and their wishes ahead of the child because they want to control mom.
Oh and the doctor can't PREVENT mom from being there. Not legally. But good try. Bet you just won't tell mom when the appointment is. That will show her you are in charge.

ETA: If you wanted the counselor to get a great overview and full background at the initial visit, you would WANT mom there. You would want the counselor to see how the interaction is between you and mom. You would want to do that because THAT could help your mutual child the most. However, YOU want to control. You don't want mom attending on YOUR dime. YOU don't want mom participating and YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU. Count how many times you said you in your prior posts and compare to how many times you talked what was best for your child.

 

[gam]

Wow. This is just what the doctor told me. I'm not the one that sets office protocal. I simply asked him how these situations are handled.

Unbelievable you are custodial parent and you have sole legal rights and your child left a suicide text and you still are not seeing the best interest of the child here.

Mom found the text and did the absolute correct thing, she took it serious and took him in to be evaluated. You should not have removed the child the next day, 1 day in an inpatient facility is not enough for anyone to evaluate the child. That is the entire staffs job to evaluate and treat that child and you cut that short. I happen to work in a behavioral health hospital and we have a children's unit, it's our job to evaluate(all staff), it's our job to give that information to the Dr, it's our job to get them the right treatment. It's our job to spend the time to go over the crisis stage(writing a suicide text is crisis mode), get them on medications if needed, get them started in therapy, including group(does wonders for them to see that they are not the only child out there with the same issues), get them into individual therapy and try and convince one of their stupid parents that they also need family counseling with all members of the family participating.

If this is done right, the child should be in therapy as an individual, they should also go to some group therapy with their peers, they should also be in therapy sessions with the stupid parents that are most likely the reason the kid is having issues to begin with.

What this Dr told you is not protocol for a situation like this, unless of course that Dr is solely listening to you in their ear, telling them to keep mom out. Even then a good Dr would work around that, and have sessions with the child and with each parent separate. Even if mom is scum of the earth and the reason the child is having issues, keeping her out of this, will not allow that child to work through this, learn to cope with her and deal with her. That's the point of having a professional sit right there, so good things come out of it. Might not happen during that session, but when the Dr has the separate session with the child, they then know what is going on, they have watched the child try to cope with this person and they can provide them with ways to now do that.

You may have sole legal, however the other parent has the right to seek emergency medical care for the child, a suicide text would be considered an emergency. Mom did the absolute correct thing and you may find a Judge that hears this and then hears you asking to ban mom from therapy sessions with this child, taking sole legal from you and handing it to mom.

I would find me a new Dr and I would get my own butt into treatment so I could lay to rest my ill feelings toward the other parent, so I could be able to do what is in the best interest of my child.

 

[gam]

Wrong. That is not just what the doctor told you. Really? The doctor said the following:

?

The doctor said you would prefer she not piggy back off your dime or the scheduled session for YOU and the mutual child into a situation? Seems like YOU are the one with that attitude. Truthfully, mother should be included initially to get her background opinion on the situation and not just be about YOUR thoughts of child's problems. But whatever. You have shown your true colors. This is about a power trip and control for you. You don't even see how your actions could be contributing to your child's issues? REALLY? Congrats. Again, go hire counsel. I don't feel like wasting time on someone who puts their wants and their wishes ahead of the child because they want to control mom.
Oh and the doctor can't PREVENT mom from being there. Not legally. But good try. Bet you just won't tell mom when the appointment is. That will show her you are in charge.

ETA: If you wanted the counselor to get a great overview and full background at the initial visit, you would WANT mom there. You would want the counselor to see how the interaction is between you and mom. You would want to do that because THAT could help your mutual child the most. However, YOU want to control. You don't want mom attending on YOUR dime. YOU don't want mom participating and YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU. Count how many times you said you in your prior posts and compare to how many times you talked what was best for your child.

Your ETA here is some really good stuff and a like just was not enough.

 

[SESmama]

I know the rules about not posting your SO/spouse/bf-GF but THANK YOU!!


oG and gam I had my husband red this thread due to current issues with mom and it helped him immensely. Again, thank you!

 

[mcwjjm]

UPDATE: Motion to Modify Decision

Matter was resolved yesterday with modifications to visitation [essentually what we've been doing] along with an extended summer break. All other conditions addressed in the previous order would remain in force; C/S, parental rights, IRS. The psychologist, GAL, magistrate and judge found no evidence to honor the defendant's claims for a change in custody.

Regarding the psychologist, at our initial hearing the opposing attorney stated the doctor was in favor of a change in custody, naturally at our next session I brough this up. At which point he almost fell on the floor. He said, I've been meeting with you and your son on a bi-monthly basis for over a year. The met the child's mother once during that period.

At the same hearing I was initially disappointed when the magistrate agreed for a new GAL to be appointed and the one chosen was hand-picked by opposing counseling. Fortunately, my fears were unfounded and when after reviewing the facts came to the same conclusion as other impartial individuals associated with our case - change in custody denied.

I do appreciate the input from members on this community. Couldn't have navigated the process w/o the help I received from numerous sources.

Happy Holidays.