Sexual Relationship / 14 y/o girl and a 18 y/o guy

[Sean298]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota

So I was in the relationship starting sometime in march of 2012, we were dating and got sexual. She was 13 at the time and I was 17.

Her parents found this out a little while ago and they weren't going to do anything, but I didn't know what they knew or what they thought. I left a note at their house saying I wasn't going to give up on trying to see her and this made her dad get the police involved, I was completely honest and cooperative with the officer about what I had done with her. I was told that anything can happen, this was Monday, the 23rd. Today I got a restraining order and a court date.

Now for what you need to know, what actually happened, We both had oral sex and I had fingered her. Along with that, she slept over at my house without her parents permission, she said she was going to another friends house.

Just wondering what could happen, or what is going to happen?

I don't really understand the whole legal system unfortunately. What I thought is that this is actually illegal so charges have to be made by the state, they cant be dropped like other charges can be. Am I correct?

EDIT: I re-read it and it isn't as big of thing as I thought. It's a court hearing for an "Order for Protection". Can someone help me on what I should say or do during this? Thanks!

 

[TigerD]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota

So I was in the relationship starting sometime in march of 2012, we were dating and got sexual. She was 13 at the time and I was 17.

Her parents found this out a little while ago and they weren't going to do anything, but I didn't know what they knew or what they thought. I left a note at their house saying I wasn't going to give up on trying to see her and this made her dad get the police involved, I was completely honest and cooperative with the officer about what I had done with her. I was told that anything can happen, this was Monday, the 23rd. Today I got a restraining order and a court date.

Now for what you need to know, what actually happened, We both had oral sex and I had fingered her. Along with that, she slept over at my house without her parents permission, she said she was going to another friends house.

Just wondering what could happen, or what is going to happen?

I don't really understand the whole legal system unfortunately. What I thought is that this is actually illegal so charges have to be made by the state, they cant be dropped like other charges can be. Am I correct?

1. What is the court date for?
2. Stop talking. The police are not there to help you.
3. You need to discuss this situation with an attorney. You may have an additional serious problem -- possibly involving jail/prison and registering as a sex offender.

DC

Adding to the OP's edit:
Talk to an attorney about the collateral consequences of the order.
Next time you have sex with little girls, perhaps you should not taunt their father.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota

So I was in the relationship starting sometime in march of 2012, we were dating and got sexual. She was 13 at the time and I was 17.

Her parents found this out a little while ago and they weren't going to do anything, but I didn't know what they knew or what they thought. I left a note at their house saying I wasn't going to give up on trying to see her and this made her dad get the police involved, I was completely honest and cooperative with the officer about what I had done with her. I was told that anything can happen, this was Monday, the 23rd. Today I got a restraining order and a court date.

Now for what you need to know, what actually happened, We both had oral sex and I had fingered her. Along with that, she slept over at my house without her parents permission, she said she was going to another friends house.

Just wondering what could happen, or what is going to happen?

I don't really understand the whole legal system unfortunately. What I thought is that this is actually illegal so charges have to be made by the state, they cant be dropped like other charges can be. Am I correct?

EDIT: I re-read it and it isn't as big of thing as I thought. It's a court hearing for an "Order for Protection". Can someone help me on what I should say or do during this? Thanks!

And what's even more fun? Your PARENTS can end up in serious trouble, too. Assuming you lived with them at the time.

"It's not that big of a thing" - you'd better hope that's what you're facing when you're in the shower with the other inmates.

 

[sandyclaus]

You could have faced statutory rape charges. You're lucky that the parents only want you to stay away now, and are seeking a restraining order to ensure that you no longer have access to their child.

 

[swalsh411]

you'd better hope that's what you're facing when you're in the shower with the other inmates.

A prison rape joke? Seriously?

 

[stealth2]

A prison rape joke? Seriously?

We were likely all thinking it. Sorry, but I don't find raping a 13yo child any more amusing. And.... OP could well find himself in jail.

 

[Proserpina]

A prison rape joke? Seriously?

What on earth makes you think I was kidding?

I was not joking. Cavalier attitudes shown by child rapists tend to incite the wrath of other inmates.

 

[Just Blue]

A prison rape joke? Seriously?

A likely event for a child molester.

 

[commentator]

It seems to me a pretty bad comment about our society in which we all secretly chuckle over the idea of someone we consider worthy of punishment going to prison and getting raped due to the terrible conditions in our prisons.

I have had experience with being the parent/foster parent of the young man in this type scenario. He's not a child molester and he's not a rapist, more sounds like a stupid kid who doesn't realize the consequences. There are 17-18 year old boys who are still in high school, granted, not very mature ones, who are not seeking to molest a child, but see themselves merely as dating their peers. They and the girl been taught by every kind of media we have that dating involves sex. And there are 13-14 year olds out there who are not exactly innocent babies, who appear quite mature, and who will try to date such boys, try to acquire some experience, get popular. They want to defy their daddies and get away from home.

Yes, most certainly he needs to know better, he should have known better, the 4 year age difference is significant and a profound no, his parents should've had this talk with him as soon as he turned 18. A very important part of sex education should include the definition of "legally an adult" and "jail bait." But lets not pretend he's the same thing as the 35 year old creep with child porn on his computer and a desire to give little girls experience, or the pimp who's turning the little runaways out. I am not sure he deserves a prison sentence, with or without rape, or that he's someone who should spend the rest of his life being followed by a child molesting label.

OP get an attorney, talk only to your attorney and do what he says. This is a potentially life ruining situation. You need help. The police AND the daddy of the girl are NOT your friends. The girl may lie. Be prepared. Ask for ID before beginning any new relationships.

 

[Proserpina]

It seems to me a pretty bad comment about our society in which we all secretly chuckle over the idea of someone we consider worthy of punishment going to prison and getting raped due to the terrible conditions in our prisons. I have had experience with being the parent of the young man in this type scenario. He's not a child molester and he's not a rapist, more sounds like a stupid kid who doesn't realize the consequences. There are 18 year old boys who are still in high school, not seeking to molest a child, but see themselves merely as dating their peers. They've been taught by every kind of media we have that dating involves sex. And there 14 year olds out there who are not exactly innocent babies, who will try to date you, try to acquire some experience, get popular. They want to defy their daddies and get away from home. Yes, most certainly he needs to know better, he should have known better, the 4 year age difference is significant and a profound no, his parents should've had this talk with him as soon as he turned 18.

OP get an attorney, talk only to your attorney and do what he says. This is a potentially life ruining situation. You need help. The police AND the daddy of the girl are NOT your friends. The girl may lie. Be prepared. Ask for ID before beginning any new relationships.

She was 13.

Thirteen.

And seriously - I was making no damn joke about the situation.

Cheese and rice.

 

[justalayman]

You could have faced statutory rape charges. You're lucky that the parents only want you to stay away now, and are seeking a restraining order to ensure that you no longer have access to their child.

COULD HAVE??

I doubt the SOL to charge the guy has run out.

and it is not up to the parents to prosecute the matter. That is up to the local prosecutor.

 

[justalayman]

commentator;3210931

Yes, most certainly he needs to know better, he should have known better, the 4 year age difference is significant and a profound no, his parents should've had this talk with him as soon as he turned 18

.they should have had this talk way before he turned 18. Starting the conversation when the boy enters puberty is a good time. While the legal issues would not be appropriate with a child that age, leaving little kids alone would be.

 

[Just Blue]

It seems to me a pretty bad comment about our society in which we all secretly chuckle over the idea of someone we consider worthy of punishment going to prison and getting raped due to the terrible conditions in our prisons.

I have had experience with being the parent/foster parent of the young man in this type scenario. He's not a child molester and he's not a rapist, more sounds like a stupid kid who doesn't realize the consequences. There are 17-18 year old boys who are still in high school, granted, not very mature ones, who are not seeking to molest a child, but see themselves merely as dating their peers. They and the girl been taught by every kind of media we have that dating involves sex. And there are 13-14 year olds out there who are not exactly innocent babies, who appear quite mature, and who will try to date such boys, try to acquire some experience, get popular. They want to defy their daddies and get away from home.

Yes, most certainly he needs to know better, he should have known better, the 4 year age difference is significant and a profound no, his parents should've had this talk with him as soon as he turned 18. A very important part of sex education should include the definition of "legally an adult" and "jail bait." But lets not pretend he's the same thing as the 35 year old creep with child porn on his computer and a desire to give little girls experience, or the pimp who's turning the little runaways out. I am not sure he deserves a prison sentence, with or without rape, or that he's someone who should spend the rest of his life being followed by a child molesting label.

OP get an attorney, talk only to your attorney and do what he says. This is a potentially life ruining situation. You need help. The police AND the daddy of the girl are NOT your friends. The girl may lie. Be prepared. Ask for ID before beginning any new relationships.

Based on OP's postings on his thread, I disagree with your post .

 

[TigerD]

As a father of two girls and possibly a third - we'll find out in a month or two - this guy is reprehensible. There is nothing that can be said and commentator's weak attempt justifying the sexual assault of a 13-year-old girl is pretty offensive in its own right. Let me clarify for you: Yes, he is a sexual predator.

The OP already confessed to the police. So, yeah, he has a problem:
http://aspe.hhs.gov/hsp/08/sr/statelaws/statelaws.shtml#Minnesota

I'll let the OP look up the penalties for the crime. It will be an eye opener for him.

DC

 

[quincy]

Based on OP's postings on his thread, I disagree with your post Quincy.

Huh? I didn't post.

You quoted commentator's post.



(as a note, I agree with commentator's last paragraph)