3rd DUI in NJ, desperate for help :(

[kandycoatedeath]

What is the name of your state? NJ

My boyfriend just recently completed a 2 year drug court program with no sanctions during the whole duration. He completed all his community service and paid off all his fines. The other night he was brought home by an officer when he was pulled over for an unsafe lane change. It was then that the officer asked him to step out of the vehicle and administered a breathalyzer test. Once the officer determined that he was over the legal limit he was brought down to the station, but was not finger printed or anything of the sort. He did not have to pay a fee to be released or anything, the officer just brought him home and had me sign something saying that my boyfriend was not allowed to drive for 12 hours and that if he did I would face the consequences. We have an 8 month old child together and I barely work, this is his 3rd dui charge, but the last one he got was over 7 years ago. I'm trying to determine if he could somehow avoid jail time given the fact that he supports my daughter and myself. We have an apartment together and I could not afford to pay for the rent and the baby's needs. Is it possible that the judge might give him something else so that he could still support us? Do you think the fact that he completed that 2 year program and finished his community service would have an impact on the decision? I'm just trying to find out as much as I can because I have never gotten in trouble for this.

 

[FlyingRon]

Your boyfriend definitely needs a lawyer. In NJ there's no MANDATORY jail time even for three offenses (NJ lookback is ten years by the way), although he could get up to 180 days. Being detained in a alcoholism treatment program is certainly likely. He's looking at a 10 year loss of license and he's looking at SUBSTANTIAL fines ($1000), costs, and insurance surcharges ($1500/yr for three years). If he ever gets to drive again, he'll spend 1-3 years with an ignition interlock.

If he finished his drug court supervision, then he won't be going back to court and potentially jail over that violation, you should make sure however that he indeed had completed the probation. Just because he finished the drug counselling/treatment and community service and wasn't obliged to report deoesn't necessarily mean the probation was over.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? NJ

My boyfriend just recently completed a 2 year drug court program with no sanctions during the whole duration. He completed all his community service and paid off all his fines. The other night he was brought home by an officer when he was pulled over for an unsafe lane change. It was then that the officer asked him to step out of the vehicle and administered a breathalyzer test. Once the officer determined that he was over the legal limit he was brought down to the station, but was not finger printed or anything of the sort. He did not have to pay a fee to be released or anything, the officer just brought him home and had me sign something saying that my boyfriend was not allowed to drive for 12 hours and that if he did I would face the consequences. We have an 8 month old child together and I barely work, this is his 3rd dui charge, but the last one he got was over 7 years ago. I'm trying to determine if he could somehow avoid jail time given the fact that he supports my daughter and myself. We have an apartment together and I could not afford to pay for the rent and the baby's needs. Is it possible that the judge might give him something else so that he could still support us? Do you think the fact that he completed that 2 year program and finished his community service would have an impact on the decision? I'm just trying to find out as much as I can because I have never gotten in trouble for this.

With all do respect and understanding of your situation...You NEED to get a job and support your child. Dad is
NOT going to be able to for a while.

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state? NJ

My boyfriend just recently completed a 2 year drug court program with no sanctions during the whole duration. He completed all his community service and paid off all his fines. The other night he was brought home by an officer when he was pulled over for an unsafe lane change. It was then that the officer asked him to step out of the vehicle and administered a breathalyzer test. Once the officer determined that he was over the legal limit he was brought down to the station, but was not finger printed or anything of the sort. He did not have to pay a fee to be released or anything, the officer just brought him home and had me sign something saying that my boyfriend was not allowed to drive for 12 hours and that if he did I would face the consequences. We have an 8 month old child together and I barely work, this is his 3rd dui charge, but the last one he got was over 7 years ago. I'm trying to determine if he could somehow avoid jail time given the fact that he supports my daughter and myself. We have an apartment together and I could not afford to pay for the rent and the baby's needs. Is it possible that the judge might give him something else so that he could still support us? Do you think the fact that he completed that 2 year program and finished his community service would have an impact on the decision? I'm just trying to find out as much as I can because I have never gotten in trouble for this.

This story sounds so familiar.

 

[kandycoatedeath]

With all do respect and understanding of your situation...You NEED to get a job and support your child. Dad is
NOT going to be able to for a while.

I DO have a job at the moment, I just dont work all the time because he's been working mostly. I don't know too many people in the area that we live in so I don't have anyone to watch my daughter more often or I would work more. I was working 6 days a week all double shifts up until a few weeks before I had my baby. So believe me I do what I can. i dont make enough to pay for daycare so that's out of the question and Ive been trying to find someone to watch her so that i could work more. Just dont make it seem like I don't take care of her because I definitely do. I'm with her all day and night, besides when im working and I buy all the things she needs. I just don't make enough to pay for all of that and take care of the rent where we live.

 

[kandycoatedeath]

Your boyfriend definitely needs a lawyer. In NJ there's no MANDATORY jail time even for three offenses (NJ lookback is ten years by the way), although he could get up to 180 days. Being detained in a alcoholism treatment program is certainly likely. He's looking at a 10 year loss of license and he's looking at SUBSTANTIAL fines ($1000), costs, and insurance surcharges ($1500/yr for three years). If he ever gets to drive again, he'll spend 1-3 years with an ignition interlock.

If he finished his drug court supervision, then he won't be going back to court and potentially jail over that violation, you should make sure however that he indeed had completed the probation. Just because he finished the drug counselling/treatment and community service and wasn't obliged to report deoesn't necessarily mean the probation was over.

Ive been with him the entire time he's been on the program. He finished all the community service and already went to a drug/alcohol program and completed that. He also completed a 20 week optional outpatient program. His probation ended at the end of the program which was back in may. All I want to know is if going through all of this will give him any help in his situation. I understand that this was obviously a poor decision on his part, but im trying to figure out what I can so we have some information when we go to court. I already advised him to reach out to the people in his program that could put in a good word for him and also an attorney.

 

[RRevak]

Ive been with him the entire time he's been on the program. He finished all the community service and already went to a drug/alcohol program and completed that. He also completed a 20 week optional outpatient program. His probation ended at the end of the program which was back in may. All I want to know is if going through all of this will give him any help in his situation. I understand that this was obviously a poor decision on his part, but im trying to figure out what I can so we have some information when we go to court. I already advised him to reach out to the people in his program that could put in a good word for him and also an attorney.

The problem he's going to have is that despite all of that, he STILL chose to drink and drive yet again. That absolutely won't look favorably in court so I highly doubt any good word that's put in for him will go very far.

 

[Just Blue]

I DO have a job at the moment, I just dont work all the time because he's been working mostly. I don't know too many people in the area that we live in so I don't have anyone to watch my daughter more often or I would work more. I was working 6 days a week all double shifts up until a few weeks before I had my baby. So believe me I do what I can. i dont make enough to pay for daycare so that's out of the question and Ive been trying to find someone to watch her so that i could work more. Just dont make it seem like I don't take care of her because I definitely do. I'm with her all day and night, besides when im working and I buy all the things she needs. I just don't make enough to pay for all of that and take care of the rent where we live.

I never said that you "don't take care of her". I said that you NEED to take over financially for both you and you child. BF is NOT going to be around. FACT.

Good luck to you and baby...I hope you both are doing well.

 

[kandycoatedeath]

The problem he's going to have is that despite all of that, he STILL chose to drink and drive yet again. That absolutely won't look favorably in court so I highly doubt any good word that's put in for him will go very far.

Yes I understand what you're saying. I'm just trying to figure out any help that could work with our circumstances. A part of the program that he was on is that relapse happens and no one gets looked upon poorly for it, I know that it won't look good in court but I feel if people from the program at least put in a good word it will show that however poorly a mistake it was that things have changed in his life. He use to not care and do whatever and get in trouble all the time, all that changed when we got together and i've been doing whatever i can to keep him on the right track and he's been doing so well. I am very disappointed at the choice he has made and understand he has to suffer the consequences and apparently as do i. I've heard of a situation where you could serve half the jail time and then be on a program for the other half. I dont know the requirements to be put on this program or the chances of him receiving this, but i just dont want him to miss important moments in our daughters life.

 

[kandycoatedeath]

I never said that you "don't take care of her". I said that you NEED to take over financially for both you and you child. BF is NOT going to be around. FACT.

Good luck to you and baby...I hope you both are doing well.

This just happened literally 2 days ago so i'm going to speak with my job today. I figure with a not guilty plea in court it will be a month or so before anything happens. ive been doing whatever i can and i know that i have to make some decisions as to what to do no matter how the situation plans out.

Thank you we're doing as good as we can be.

 

[RRevak]

Yes I understand what you're saying. I'm just trying to figure out any help that could work with our circumstances. A part of the program that he was on is that relapse happens and no one gets looked upon poorly for it, I know that it won't look good in court but I feel if people from the program at least put in a good word it will show that however poorly a mistake it was that things have changed in his life. He use to not care and do whatever and get in trouble all the time, all that changed when we got together and i've been doing whatever i can to keep him on the right track and he's been doing so well. I am very disappointed at the choice he has made and understand he has to suffer the consequences and apparently as do i. I've heard of a situation where you could serve half the jail time and then be on a program for the other half. I dont know the requirements to be put on this program or the chances of him receiving this, but i just dont want him to miss important moments in our daughters life.

You're going to have to resolve to the reality that there will at least be SOME jail time in addition to a whole boat load of fines. I also read 180 days in jail. Whether he serves that isn't anything those on here can say for certain. The negotiations will be up to his attorney (which he WILL need). But considering this is a 3rd offense, there WILL be jail time. It might be time to find a new boyfriend that won't cost you time and money over stupid things.

 

[kandycoatedeath]

You're going to have to resolve to the reality that there will at least be SOME jail time in addition to a whole boat load of fines. I also read 180 days in jail. Whether he serves that isn't anything those on here can say for certain. The negotiations will be up to his attorney (which he WILL need). But considering this is a 3rd offense, there WILL be jail time. It might be time to find a new boyfriend that won't cost you time and money over stupid things.

First of all I understand there will be jail time most likely no matter what. But you don't even know him nor do you need to say something like that. I'm not looking for you to give me advice on what to do for my future im just looking for advice on the legal matter. my boyfriend is a good man that made a poor decision as i'm sure most if not ALL of the people on this forum have. There's no reason to say what you said. He is a great father to our daughter and something like this is not going to change how I feel about him. So THANKS so much for your advice

 

[RRevak]

First of all I understand there will be jail time most likely no matter what. But you don't even know him nor do you need to say something like that. I'm not looking for you to give me advice on what to do for my future im just looking for advice on the legal matter. my boyfriend is a good man that made a poor decision as i'm sure most if not ALL of the people on this forum have. There's no reason to say what you said. He is a great father to our daughter and something like this is not going to change how I feel about him. So THANKS so much for your advice

There is A poor decision...then there are 3 poor decisions. At that point, they are no longer poor decisions. They are habits. If your boyfriend was someone you didn't know who drunkenly hit you while you had your child in the car...would you still be calling them poor decisions?

 

[sandyclaus]

It's time to take a long, hard look at your reality.

You have chosen to put your trust and faith in this man, to allow yourself to sit back and make HIM the responsible one in the relationship, to put the pressure on HIM to bear the weight and responsibilty of supporting you and your baby - when he can't even be trusted to be responsible for HIMSELF. Time to wake up and take the reins on your own life.

Whatever you claim you did before the baby was born, you appear to have put that all aside and put your boyfriend in the untenable position of carrying your burden. You should have known better than to put that all on HIM.

You now want the courts to go easy on HIM - not for his sake, but so that he can be taken out of the frying pan and put right back into the fire, to allow him the privilege of almost completely supporting you and your child AGAIN. When will YOU learn how to share that burden or take responsibility for your own choices?

Perhaps this DUI is a blessing for him. It might just give him the time away from you that he needs in order to break the dependency cycle you've created for him. It might just give you time to realize that the world doesn't revolve around you. It might force you to put on your big girl panties and find out what it's like to have the pressure of providing the hog's share of the financial support for your family.

 

[RRevak]

First of all I understand there will be jail time most likely no matter what. But you don't even know him nor do you need to say something like that. I'm not looking for you to give me advice on what to do for my future im just looking for advice on the legal matter. my boyfriend is a good man that made a poor decision as i'm sure most if not ALL of the people on this forum have. There's no reason to say what you said. He is a great father to our daughter and something like this is not going to change how I feel about him. So THANKS so much for your advice

You supposed "nice guy" boyfriend decided it was ok to get drunk, then climb behind the wheel of his car for a 3rd time and drive away. He not only risked HIS life, he risked ALL THE OTHER lives of those on the road around him. I'm sorry your boyfriend is NOT a nice guy who made a "poor decision", he is a habitual drunk who made SEVERAL poor CHOICES and now needs to learn the errors of those poor CHOICES. Shame on you for coming onto a forum looking for ways he can get out of the punishment he deserves.