My grandmother disabled with no where safe to go

[chinnie15]

Maryland

This is a nightmare. My family has no idea what to do. My grandmother has been in an assisted living facility since January 31. She has had several strokes over the years and while she cannot take care of herself, the nursing home she was previously in (for over a year) said she was no longer in need of a nursing home, but an assisted living facility. At the time, my grandfather had already put a lean on his house, which we were then occupying with him, to be able to have her stay in that nursing home. Now that she had to leave the nursing home, my mother had to do paperwork to apply for a waiver that pays for an assisted living facility (through the department of aging). She got the waiver and was sent into an assisted living facility.

This was in January of this year. My grandfather passed away March 1 of this year. The assisted living facility is now saying that since my grandfather passed, the house is now an asset to my grandmother and she can no longer get the waiver. The problem is, my mom has been disabled since 2005 and is not capable of taking care of her. My grandmother was sent home previously in between strokes, before my family lived here with my grandfather, and I don't know how many times she would wander out of the house and my grandfather was unable to stop her. She had even gotten behind the wheel and drove through several red lights, drove through the tunnel, and didn't even know where she ended up. We got a call from a doctors office an hour away that she was there. Another time she managed to wander out of the nursing home and this couple found her collapsed in the street and to call 911. And this was a nursing home she escaped from. She would be coming to a home where the only person in the house most the time is disabled and not capable of caring for her. This is in no way a safe place for her to be. My mom is unable to care for her properly and my brother, sister and I, while adults, are either working or are students. What are our options? My family cannot afford to pay for her to stay there, and right now, the only asset is the house, which already has a lean on it. My mom is disabled, which is why she has been allowed to stay here since my grandfather passed away. If we have to give up the house, there might not be anywhere for us to go. What can we do? Are there any options out there?

 

[Ohiogal]

The house needs sold and your mother needs to apply for housing assistance. If you are NOT a minor, you need to support yourself and also find housing of your own. The house belongs to your grandmother and needs to go to her care.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

The house should have been sold to pay for grandma's care. It is not there for everyone else's benefit.

 

[chinnie15]

We just found out about this today. It's not like we've just been taking advantage of my grandfather's house. We've been living here with him because my mom couldn't support her self. My sister and I are full time students and not working at the moment. Everything is not as easy as it sounds. My mom is here because she is disabled. I really dislike the tone of everyone that we are taking advantage of my grandmother when we just found this out today. I don't know where we're going to end up, or what's going to happen, so how about being a little nicer? I came here for help. And my mom can apply for housing, but that doesn't exactly happen overnight. My sister and I are jobless, again, what are we supposed to do overnight? We were given no warning about this.

 

[TheGeekess]

We just found out about this today. It's not like we've just been taking advantage of my grandfather's house. We've been living here with him because my mom couldn't support her self. My sister and I are full time students and not working at the moment. Everything is not as easy as it sounds. My mom is here because she is disabled. I really dislike the tone of everyone that we are taking advantage of my grandmother when we just found this out today. I don't know where we're going to end up, or what's going to happen, so how about being a little nicer? I came here for help. And my mom can apply for housing, but that doesn't exactly happen overnight. My sister and I are jobless, again, what are we supposed to do overnight? We were given no warning about this.

Alrighty then.

 

[chinnie15]

Wow, clearly not the place I thought this was. What cold-hearted people. Good bye.

 

[sandyclaus]

Maryland

This is a nightmare. My family has no idea what to do. My grandmother has been in an assisted living facility since January 31. She has had several strokes over the years and while she cannot take care of herself, the nursing home she was previously in (for over a year) said she was no longer in need of a nursing home, but an assisted living facility. At the time, my grandfather had already put a lean on his house, which we were then occupying with him, to be able to have her stay in that nursing home. Now that she had to leave the nursing home, my mother had to do paperwork to apply for a waiver that pays for an assisted living facility (through the department of aging). She got the waiver and was sent into an assisted living facility.

This was in January of this year. My grandfather passed away March 1 of this year. The assisted living facility is now saying that since my grandfather passed, the house is now an asset to my grandmother and she can no longer get the waiver. The problem is, my mom has been disabled since 2005 and is not capable of taking care of her. My grandmother was sent home previously in between strokes, before my family lived here with my grandfather, and I don't know how many times she would wander out of the house and my grandfather was unable to stop her. She had even gotten behind the wheel and drove through several red lights, drove through the tunnel, and didn't even know where she ended up. We got a call from a doctors office an hour away that she was there. Another time she managed to wander out of the nursing home and this couple found her collapsed in the street and to call 911. And this was a nursing home she escaped from. She would be coming to a home where the only person in the house most the time is disabled and not capable of caring for her. This is in no way a safe place for her to be. My mom is unable to care for her properly and my brother, sister and I, while adults, are either working or are students. What are our options? My family cannot afford to pay for her to stay there, and right now, the only asset is the house, which already has a lean on it. My mom is disabled, which is why she has been allowed to stay here since my grandfather passed away. If we have to give up the house, there might not be anywhere for us to go. What can we do? Are there any options out there?

Since your grandmother now has a valuable asset, she no longer qualifies for the waiver and must sell the house and liquidate any other assets to pay for her own care.

We just found out about this today. It's not like we've just been taking advantage of my grandfather's house. We've been living here with him because my mom couldn't support her self. My sister and I are full time students and not working at the moment. Everything is not as easy as it sounds. My mom is here because she is disabled. I really dislike the tone of everyone that we are taking advantage of my grandmother when we just found this out today. I don't know where we're going to end up, or what's going to happen, so how about being a little nicer? I came here for help. And my mom can apply for housing, but that doesn't exactly happen overnight. My sister and I are jobless, again, what are we supposed to do overnight? We were given no warning about this.

You, your sister, and your mother no longer have the luxury of free room and board at grandma's house. That's a fact. And since Grandma's continued care depends on selling the house FAST to pay for it, that means this will all happen far more quickly than anyone really would prefer.

As for you and your sister, I suggest that you find jobs to support your living expenses. While you may have had a free ride, it's time to join the grown-up world where people have to pay rent to have a roof over their heads. That may just mean that you and your sister might have to drop a few classes to get more work hours, or take classes at night in order to maintain employment during the day.

Someone needs to coordinate with Grandma to put the house on the market and figure out how to pay for her assisted living expenses NOW.

Your mother needs to figure out other living arrangements, and so do you. I suggest that you do so without delay.

 

[quincy]

Wow, clearly not the place I thought this was. What cold-hearted people. Good bye.

This is a legal forum. I don't know what you expected. Based on your described situation, you received the appropriate legal answer to your question. It appears your grandmother's house will need to be sold.

The legalities involved have nothing to do with warm-hearted or cold-hearted. They are what they are.

You can consider some of the options offered you by forum members (e.g., you and your sister can find jobs) and you can start searching for solutions to your housing situation and immediate needs through contact with the following organizations in Maryland:

Maryland Department of Housing and Community Development - http://www.dhcd.state.md.us
Maryland Department of Human Resources - http://www.dhr.state.md.us
Maryland Legal Aid Bureau - http://www.mdlab.org

Yes, your situation sucks. Life sometimes does. You and your sister and your brother and your mom will survive this, though. There are people around who can help you through. Good luck.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Wow, clearly not the place I thought this was. What cold-hearted people. Good bye.

Translation....

We thought we could find another way to get the government to keep paying for grandma so we would not have our lives interrupted by being bothered with her care, even though we have been living rent free in her house.

You don't have a legal problem. You have a morality problem.

 

[quincy]

Translation....

We thought we could find another way to get the government to keep paying for grandma so we would not have our lives interrupted by being bothered with her care, even though we have been living rent free in her house.

You don't have a legal problem. You have a morality problem.

That could be an unfair assessment, OHR.

Sometimes life throws curveballs when you are not prepared for them. It sounds like chinnie and her sister and her brother have had their fair share of curveballs - with no mention of a dad, a long-time-disabled mom, the recent death of the grandfather, and a grandmother who requires full time nursing assistance.

chinnie's family moving in and living with the grandparents could very well have benefited the grandparents as much as it has them.

I recommend chinnie makes some calls to various agencies in her area who can perhaps assist with temporary housing in the event an immediate sale of the house is necessary, or perhaps it will be discovered that there is some way for them to keep the house.



(this post brought to you by the warm-hearted side of the law )

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Unless the gov't shutdown has led to homeless shelters refusing new entrants, even no plan can be a plan temporarily. Presumably, if mom is disabled, HUD housing would be available with a wait. Had this been done last year, there would not be a problem.

 

[quincy]

Unless the gov't shutdown has led to homeless shelters refusing new entrants, even no plan can be a plan temporarily. Presumably, if mom is disabled, HUD housing would be available with a wait. Had this been done last year, there would not be a problem.

Last year, the grandmother was in a nursing home and the grandfather was alive. The problems, while perhaps foreseeable, did not exist as they do now.

Planning ahead for the future can be great and is, of course, advisable, but many people live day to day, deny the inevitable, and delay acting until they find they have no other choice but to act.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Last year, the grandmother was in a nursing home and the grandfather was alive. The problems, while perhaps foreseeable, did not exist as they do now.

Planning ahead for the future can be great and is, of course, advisable, but many people live day to day, deny the inevitable, and delay acting until they find they have no other choice but to act.

Hence the reason I provided them with the direction they seek, even though it was not solicited.

 

[Ohiogal]

We just found out about this today. It's not like we've just been taking advantage of my grandfather's house. We've been living here with him because my mom couldn't support her self. My sister and I are full time students and not working at the moment. Everything is not as easy as it sounds. My mom is here because she is disabled. I really dislike the tone of everyone that we are taking advantage of my grandmother when we just found this out today. I don't know where we're going to end up, or what's going to happen, so how about being a little nicer? I came here for help. And my mom can apply for housing, but that doesn't exactly happen overnight. My sister and I are jobless, again, what are we supposed to do overnight? We were given no warning about this.

Here is the problem -- grandpa died a few months ago. The house is in grandma's name. At the time of grandpa's death, options should have been investigated and backup plans put in place. You think my answer my was mean and coldhearted? You had warning about this. When grandpa died, SIX MONTHS AGO, that should have been warning. Heck, the fact that grandpa and grandma owned the house should have given notice that some more planning was going to be necessary -- such as long term planning by meeting with an attorney. No one had the foresight. The lack of preparation on your part does not an emergency make on the parts of others. I gave you the proper advice. And it was not delivered meanly. It was straightforward.

Time to grow up and start looking into alternatives that should have been sought out prior to now.

 

[commentator]

Carefully discuss this situation with a Medicaid caseworker. If your mother was not forced to move out of her parent's home due to her disability, as you said, the situation now is the same as it was when your grandfather was alive. The other parent, her mother, now owns the house, but still, it seems to me that the other parent's ownership should not change that she is a disabled child living in a parent's house with a lien on it already. Medicaid generally doesn't take that. Is your mother receiving SSI?

You and your sister being full time students and someone in the family working does not preclude their having to take care of grandmother at least for a time. But it sounds as though she should very quickly qualify for assistance herself unless there are other assets that you haven't mentioned aside from the house.