arrested ex with telephonic harassment

[OHRoadwarrior]

Ummm, where I come from, I believe they call that bribing a witness. I read the statute, it says nothing about paying off the complainant being an affirmative defense. I suggest you review ORC 162.265. You fall under ORC 162.275, they call it felony.

 

[Eekamouse]

But you ARE being a gold digger here. You think you're entitled to come up big off a guy who didn't do much more than repeatedly call you during the break up period of your relationship with him. Go ahead and tell his lawyer you want $40,000. Watch how hard he laughs at you because he will. SMH

 

[cbg]

I completely accept your explanation of the situation.

However, I'm a bit confused as to why you think anyone here can evaluate what is likely to bring you closure, what will hurt him the most, or whether it will affect his job, since we know neither you, him, nor his employer.

 

[quincy]

pizzaking, if you were to sue the fellow, what exactly would you be suing him for? What are your provable injuries and what are your provable damages that can be tied directly to his harassment (therapy, medical expenses, whatever)?

In addition to being compensated for your injury and expenses resulting from the injury, the compromise can include something along the lines of "no further contact" with you.

Just pulling a dollar amount out of thin air is probably not going to fly with the guy or the judge.

If the compromise is unreasonable or unenforceable or unacceptable to either the guy or the court, the guy will not have his misdemeanor charge dismissed outright and he will have to go to court on the harassment charge. Whether he will be convicted on the harassment charge will be determined by the court based on the facts that are presented.

The guy's previous marijuana offense should play no factor in the decision made on the harassment.

I suggest that you contact an attorney in Oregon for a review of the specifics and for help on drafting a reasonable and acceptable compromise.

 

[Proserpina]

OP, please continue with your recovery and treatment though, even if you decide against legal action or decide to go ahead.

At the end of the day, it's your health that's most important.

 

[Proserpina]

One other afterthought. Make triply sure that whoever is contacting you is actually an attorney.

 

[Ladyback1]

Why didn't you change your phone number?

Why didn't you block his number?

Why didn't you simply turn off the phone until you could do one of the above?

Do you have a restraining order against this person? If not: WHY NOT?

In some cases...you can only be a victim if you allow yourself to be a victim. And please don't think I don't understand: I lived in an abusive marriage for 15 years. I too was diagnosed with PTSD.

I would simply ignore the offer, and let the chips fall where they may be as far as the criminal charges. And * I * would move on with my life, and continue my "recovery"...getting on with my life!

 

[quincy]

If my understanding of civil compromises is correct, they can only be used if there is also a civil remedy available for the criminal charge. That is why it is called a civil compromise.

For example, a civil remedy for telephonic harassment could be a restraining order, preventing any additional calls or contact. If a civil compromise can be reached prior to a trial on the criminal charge, with the compromise perhaps being that there will be no more contact of any kind, then the criminal charge can be dismissed (at the discretion of the judge).

If pizzaking suffered physical injuries as a result of the criminal act (simple assault, perhaps) and these required medical attention, or if mental stress was a result of the criminal act (possibly harassment) and this required psychological therapy, the civil remedy would be compensation for the medical or psychological expenses incurred. These can be resolved through a civil compromise that, once satisfied, would dismiss the criminal charge (at the discretion of the judge).

But the compromise must be worked out prior to trial on the criminal charge or there will be a trial on the charges. If found guilty, the guy winds up with a misdemeanor. If found not guilty, he does not have a misdemeanor. In either of these cases, if pizzaking then wanted to be compensated, she would need to file a civil suit to collect damages for her injuries.

If pizzaking wants to be compensated for injuries suffered, she has a choice to make - she needs to either come to a compromise with the guy or sue. If she does not want to sue or come to a compromise, she can let the guy face the harassment charge in court and the evidence that is presented will either support the charge or not.

And, if there are any Oregon attorneys out there somewhere, please correct any misunderstanding I have of civil compromises and correct any inadvertent errors I may have made.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

quincy, OP better get real healthy, real fast or she is committing a crime by submitting a compromise. According to the law, the crime and situation are excluded from compromise by statute.

135.703¹
Crimes subject to being compromised

410.715¹
Person suffering brain injury to be considered person with disability

 

[dave33]

I posted in another thread but is a duplicate. I would like to add another component.

He has minor charges that are concealed. Will the judge know of these and will it affect the sentence?

I highly doubt any charges as a minor will have any relevance.

Now, you are in a unique, highly unusual situation. I cannot possibly understand why an attorney would offer you 40k. This person must be extremely wealthy with some major skeletons. The harassment charge is nothing most people would fear, certainly not something anyone would be willing to part with 40k to make disappear. I thought Michael Jackson was dead. Take the money. If they give you 40 thousand dollars, that's the best possible outcome for you.

 

[pizzaking]

I will try to hit alot of posts here.

I am not sueing him. The state is charging him right now.

He was threatening to steal my dog when I told him to not contact me anymore and txting me obsessively (obsessively). It was causing distress so I called the cops to just find out what are my rights here. The cop said he would call him and tell him to stop calling. He did tell the defendent and it is on police records that he did. But the defendent did not stop and sent me about 20 more txts and an email saying that he didn't think he was harassing me and to not go to the cops (the cops said this was admitting he knew). I told the cops that I just wanted him to stop contacting me. They said I needed to put in the complaint but the state is charging him and not me. It is criminal not civil due to the fact that he violated what the police officer told him to do. This has nothing to do with me now and I know he wouldn't stop. (So please people who were not in the situation, please stop making presumptions that it was lesser than what it was. I would not have called the cops if it was just annoying. I have dealt with annoying and they go away. This was stalker and the cops almost charged him with stalker but I said, just make the communication stop)

So, I thought this was the end of it. The cop has the record of the officer telling him to stop. I had the evidence that he didn't after the cop told him to stop. The is pretty clear. I was told that he had to get a private attorney. Then I was told that he will have a pretrial conference. Then, I was contacted by his lawyer to go through a civil compromise. I called the State Prosecutor but he was in court on Friday. One of my symptoms is obsessive thinking, which I am doing right now. I just wanted advice on why would he ask for compromise, what would it do, what can I ask for since the lawyer said it could include financal compensation or any other remedy i feel would be appropriate, why would he be so scared to have this on his record (hence the affect of him having it on record), and if I could use leverage in the compromise that I have more evidence leading up to the crime of coercion/stalker/violence/more but would this change his trial if I provided evidence of other crimes.

When I first heard of the compromise I felt he was trying to buy me out because he comes from and has money. And, I hate when people feel they can just buy people. That is why I felt like saying an obnoxious amount knowing he would say no. So, mister calling me a gold digger**************.please stop posting on this thread as you are not contributing. I wanted him to see that he can't just pay someone out and to really think about how much he wants this off of his record. If he said yes to the money amount, I would be shocked and he is scared of something. That is why I was wondering if knowing there was other evidence of other crimes would change the judges conviction. Not that I am trying to attack him, get vengence on him or whatever anyone else has said. I am just trying to cover my bases.

Then, as I said in a post. I am trying to figure out which option was in my best interest. To let him go to trial and get the conviction and know I did my part to make sure no one will be hurt by him again as he was abusive. Or would he really change if I hurt him in his wallet what he loves money. Yeah, it would be nice to have the money and help pay my parents back for supporting me for the last 2 yrs after being raped and having a baby myself due to having to run away from the father. Yes, my son said he hit him but he was able to smooth talk his way out of it. He is in politics and knows how to smooth talk. He would say my son is 2 and doesn't know. That my son ran into his hand. I had my niece there and she also didn't know what to believe as my son has said I hurt him when he stubbed his own toe. It is a difficult situation because I was just raped and yes I questioned myself so much to stay in an abusive relationship. That is how women stay in domestically abusive relationships. They question themselves and think they are at fault. Those who are making judgement calls on that really need a reality check of trauma. Don't judge until you walk a mile in their shoes. You do not know how you will react until you are faced with it. I always thought I would have fought to death if I was ever raped, but you don't because let's get real, boys are bigger and you could end up with more injuries and my son was in the next room. It was by someone who worked on me for 1.5yrs to earn my trust and get me to his house. Ok I am getting off track.

Quincy-I told the state prosecutor of the compromise attempt, I called the district attorney but it is the weekend. I will also read to them what his lawyer wrote because it seems he is trying to give me advice by stating that the defendent is embarrassed and that if I went into compromise he can avoid the stigma of having a criminal conviction. So we will see if it is lawful.

So, I had no idea what a civil compromise compiled of. I didn't know it was for injuries incured. Of course there was known with monetary value. I was just going to say something absurd to be like....you can't buy me.

So, again**************....I am not the one sueing him. I will not be sueing him. The state is sueing him. I am not asking for restitution (ie for those who didn't get it before, getting the judge to put in the sentence or probation that he owes me money). He is trying to get me to come to a settlement.

Right now, I am thinking that I will just let it go to trial and let him deal with his own accountability of his actions and not think I will back down like I used to always do because I was mentally ill and he took advantage of that.

If anyone woudl like to help me with what to bring up to the prosecutor or what I should do to ensure that his lawyer is sly and that he doesn't plea not guilty and make me have to attend the trial would be awesome! I would have to fly back to oregon and I am in intensive therapy right now.

LIKE: should I give the prosecutor the back log of texts with him admitting to pushing/kicking me when he was drunk, to making sexual advancements after we said we would just be friends and I kept telling him no until I kicked him out of my house, still contacting me obsessively telling me he needs me and my dog (yeah it's weird) when I told him to not contact, and that he was going to come over and steal my dog when I would get upset by his abusive actions and that I didn't want contact. Would it help to solidify the case or would it change the case?

thanks to those who want to help me

 

[Proserpina]

I wish you luck, whichever path you take.

PTSD can be a demon to live with; I truly do wish you all the strength in the world as you continue healing

 

[pizzaking]

Why didn't you change your phone number?

Why didn't you block his number?

Why didn't you simply turn off the phone until you could do one of the above?

Do you have a restraining order against this person? If not: WHY NOT?

In some cases...you can only be a victim if you allow yourself to be a victim. And please don't think I don't understand: I lived in an abusive marriage for 15 years. I too was diagnosed with PTSD.

I would simply ignore the offer, and let the chips fall where they may be as far as the criminal charges. And * I * would move on with my life, and continue my "recovery"...getting on with my life!

I did block his number and then he started emailing and so I called the cops. I called the cops for the restraining order....again, dont' judge. This only went on for 6 months and progressively got worse, as you might remember with your ex...but I did stop it as soon as I got on medication and knew what to do.

I think I will just go with him going to trial. and I did move on...hence moving back to colorado and will be admitted into inpatient intensive care. I just want my life back (nothing to do with this ex, he just stalked me and freaked me out). But from my fiance being killed, witnessing a murder, dealing with a husband who returend from war and developed PTSD comorbid Schizoaffective and keeping him from killing people and himself until he did (i loved him with all my heart and promised to be there for him), almost dying from an intrauterine fetal death, witnessing a murder, being raped...... Sometimes being the victim is just being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and after being predisposed from a severe head trauma from getting hit by a car when I was 12 you are affected more by consecutive traumas**************...you lose it.

I have recognized my uncontrollable symptoms almost a year ago. I have been trying to find the right therapy and medication since. And I was severe reactions to medications like seizures...so..really couldn't think clearly or do anything about this ex (we didn't live together so it wasn't like it was an ongoing thing....more like once a month). Ok, enough defending myself**************..like I always have to do.

sometimes life gives you crap and then you have to deal with other people judging you because of the crap because they never been through exactly what you have, know what it is like, or put their own personal views in how things ought to be and when it differs from theirs it must be wrong.

 

[pizzaking]

I wish you luck, whichever path you take.

PTSD can be a demon to live with; I truly do wish you all the strength in the world as you continue healing

THANK YOU!!!!! and yes it is a demon...I have uncontrollable symptoms like a stress induced lazy eye and shaking when I get nervous. Nightmares every night of different traumas and affect me differently. flashbacks that jolt me like i had an electric shock. It is an invisible disability and one that people just can't seem to understand because I can be normal, intelligent, rational, hygenic (can't spell worth a d but i am also suffereing from insomina cause I can't have any more nightmares!!!!

getting my meds right and getting intensive care with help.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Try finding a therapist trained in EMDR.