arrested ex with telephonic harassment

[Mass_Shyster]

pizzaking,

Try contacting the Oregon Crime Victims' Service Division. Information can be found at http://www.doj.state.or.us/victims/Pages/index.aspx or simply type Oregon Crime Victims' Service Division into google.

They probably can't help you, since your ex hasn't been convicted, but they may point you in the right direction.

Good luck

 

[quincy]

Stevef, I believe pizzaking is now living in Colorado, not Oregon, so a Colorado crime victims service is probably what pizzaking will want to explore.

pizzaking, if this goes to trial - if there is no compromise made and the guy pleads "not guilty" to the charge - there is a better than even chance that you will have to appear in the Oregon court to present your evidence. You have to be prepared in that event, and at that time, for a finding of not guilty.

How likely this would be, given what you have said here, is difficult to say. If the guy has a good attorney, however, it is a possibility you should consider. He could walk away from it all. And, he may have the opportunity to have the misdemeanor expunged from his criminal record after a period of time (I haven't checked Oregon law on this).

OHR, I didn't check out the Oregon statutes you provided (I will try to later), but I am pretty sure harassment is one of the misdemeanor charges that is open to civil compromise under most circumstances.

 

[pizzaking]

Stevef, I believe pizzaking is now living in Colorado, not Oregon, so a Colorado crime victims service is probably what pizzaking will want to explore.

pizzaking, if this goes to trial - if there is no compromise made and the guy pleads "not guilty" to the charge - there is a better than even chance that you will have to appear in the Oregon court to present your evidence. You have to be prepared in that event, and at that time, for a finding of not guilty.

How likely this would be, given what you have said here, is difficult to say. If the guy has a good attorney, however, it is a possibility you should consider. He could walk away from it all. And, he may have the opportunity to have the misdemeanor expunged from his criminal record after a period of time (I haven't checked Oregon law on this).

OHR, I didn't check out the Oregon statutes you provided (I will try to later), but I am pretty sure harassment is one of the misdemeanor charges that is open to civil compromise under most circumstances.

Could he really say 'not guilty' when it is complete evidence from the police officer and 'in writing' communication? the police took photos of the txts from my phone and i forwarded the email from after the police officer told him to stop and he told me not to contact the cops. The police officer asked me when at my house, "if I look at his phone, will I see a response from you?" (he was really shocked at the 15-20txts after the police officer told him to not contact me and me not responding and they were just weird txts like, 'so I guess you don't want to see my new car; i really want to take you for a ride in my care; this is all your fault, you shouldn't end our friendship; come on, i don't have a dog anymore and i need your dog; just tell me you don't want me to contact you and i will stop, just respond to me and tell me to stop this last time and i will; i need you in my life; you're my best friend, i just need to see you guys...' This was when the cop was thinking of investigating for stalker. I used to fall for it before because I had this skewed view of reality that he must really care if he doesn't go away. but, then he was getting progressively more abusive and i started to not respond for extended period of times and that is when I saw the length of his obsessive contact and the methods he used to try and control me. Again, I was very mentally unwell and had no support due to being displaced after running away from my son's father when I was pregnant. I was vulnerable and that was the leverage my rapist used to get me to trust him...and i finally reported that and i did call the cops after the kit but the cop talked me out of charging him and i made sure to tell the head sheriff dude this when i recently called.... We were going to start a business together. I met him at school for exercise science.) I explained to the cops how I just couldn't see how abusive and stalkerish he was due to having a chemical imbalance in my head and that once I was put on meds I could see clearly and I was proactive asap.

To add, the police officer told me that he admitted to the crime when they took him into custody and that he admitted to being weirdly obsessed with me and my dog. Will that hold up in court as well? Won't they have the police report and get testimony from the police?

Could any of you see how he could really not be convicted?

I think right now that I won't give in to the settlement/compromise as there is no guarentee he will really get help and learn from this and that is what i feel needs to be done for the betterment of society and him. The prosecutor told me that the sentence will more than likely be 2yrs probation, community service, and drug testing (he is still a pot-head). I think he could really learn from the community service and from the experience.

 

[cbg]

I'm not trying to persuade you to one action or the other; I just want to explain something here.

It is his right under the Constitution of the US to plead not guilty if he chooses to. A not guilty plea is not the same as saying, "I didn't do it"; it is saying, "I am standing on my right under the Constitution to have the state prove me guilty". That the state may be able to do so with ease is irrelevant to his right to make them prove their case.

 

[quincy]

... Could any of you see how he could really not be convicted? ...

I see the possibility of no conviction, yes. Everything could depend on how good the guy's attorney is and what sort of evidence the guy can present to the court against you to counteract any and all evidence you have against him.

Perhaps he can show that you either sent or responded to texts as frequently as he sent them to you. If you were not proactive, as Ladyback's post addressed, this could potentially indicate you were not all that disturbed by his contacting you. Perhaps he can use the post-traumatic stress from the rape to show you overreacted to him based on your past history. Perhaps all sorts of things.

I can't predict the odds or the outcome. But the possibility does exist that the court could find in favor of the guy.

I seriously suggest you consult with an attorney of your own, pizzaking, for a personal review of all facts, and for details on your possible options, and for a better idea of what the guy may have in the way of a defense to the charges, and for more specific advice and direction based on all of the above.

Good luck.

 

[dave33]

pizzaking, I believe that you are under the impression that even with a guilty finding you will get some sort of satisfaction. A guilty verdict will most likely get him no more than some probation and some court costs. No lesson will be learned and not much will get accomplished. He will not be a changed man. That is why in my other post I suggested that you take the money if his lawyer still has that option on the table. As I said before, that is the best possible outcome for you.

His attorney may even be able to negotiate a plea where he does not need to plead guilty as long as he stays out of trouble for a certain amount of time. It seems to me that you feel you have much more leverage than you actually have. This case is not going to get the attention of the court and may take merely a couple of minutes to resolve. Again, consider the money, that is very likely the only way that you will get anything at all out of this whole situation.

 

[quincy]

pizzaking, I believe that you are under the impression that even with a guilty finding you will get some sort of satisfaction. A guilty verdict will most likely get him no more than some probation and some court costs. No lesson will be learned and not much will get accomplished. He will not be a changed man. That is why in my other post I suggested that you take the money if his lawyer still has that option on the table. As I said before, that is the best possible outcome for you.

His attorney may even be able to negotiate a plea where he does not need to plead guilty as long as he stays out of trouble for a certain amount of time. It seems to me that you feel you have much more leverage than you actually have. This case is not going to get the attention of the court and may take merely a couple of minutes to resolve. Again, consider the money, that is very likely the only way that you will get anything at all out of this whole situation.

dave33, it is important to note that the guy and his attorney offered nothing in the way of money. The $40,000 was what pizzaking wanted to demand as a compromise.

The likelihood of this amount being approved by either the guy or the court as an acceptable compromise is slim. The compromise has to reasonably reflect the provable injuries suffered, the damages incurred, as a result of the criminal act.

It is ultimately up to the judge to determine if the compromise is fair, not the parties to the compromise.

 

[dave33]

dave33, it is important to note that the guy and his attorney offered nothing in the way of money. The $40,000 was what pizzaking wanted to demand as a compromise.

The likelihood of this amount being approved by either the guy or the court as an acceptable compromise is slim. The compromise has to reasonably reflect the provable injuries suffered, the damages incurred, as a result of the criminal act.

It is ultimately up to the judge to determine if the compromise is fair, not the parties to the compromise.

I see. I made the mistake of thinking that the 40k was offered by the ex and his attorney.

 

[pizzaking]

dave33, it is important to note that the guy and his attorney offered nothing in the way of money. The $40,000 was what pizzaking wanted to demand as a compromise.

The likelihood of this amount being approved by either the guy or the court as an acceptable compromise is slim. The compromise has to reasonably reflect the provable injuries suffered, the damages incurred, as a result of the criminal act.

It is ultimately up to the judge to determine if the compromise is fair, not the parties to the compromise.

wow I still love how the $40K has been the focus of this when it is taken out of context. I stated that when I recieved the letter and learned of the compromise that was the FIRST thought because I thought he was thinking he could just pay me out. I never said I was persueing it.

Funny how people focus on one part**************....stress to me. I had no idea what a compromise was and that is why I came here and presented everything that I have in hopes of some legal advice as that is what this forum is advertised for. Not thinking that people are going to tell me that I fell on my head thinking I can get the judge to grant it or that I deserve to have it, that I am a gold digger when I specifically said I am not sueing him, that I am overreacting to such a trivial thing when it wasn't, I am not asking for a judgement of restitution, and that I have an ADA Disability and was triggered and in distressed. I wanted to know why he was acking for a compromise for what I thought was a trivial misdemeanor that YES he needs to go through the process because he commited the crime when he went against what the cop told him via me. That is what made me think this was worse than what it was and again presented all that I have through the whole since december 2012.

The civil compromise isn't between the judge at all. It is between me (the victim) and the defendent('s attorney). Once our negotiated settlement is fullfilled before the court date, I write a letter of settlement to the judge(court). Then the judge decides to dismiss the charges or not.

This is really my choice to see if (as I stated before) what will be in the best interest of me to ensure he doesn't do this again to ANYONE. And if I settle, how do I let him know that this path isn't the way to get what you want as he is in politics and has the money to buy people out.

So again, can we just get off the $40k banwagon and I so regret even saying what my first thought was when I saw the letter. And can we thoroughly read the original post and make sure we get the context correct...please and not attach the original poster. Please, that causes distress when someone is coming here for real help.

 

[pizzaking]

I see the possibility of no conviction, yes. Everything could depend on how good the guy's attorney is and what sort of evidence the guy can present to the court against you to counteract any and all evidence you have against him.

Perhaps he can show that you either sent or responded to texts as frequently as he sent them to you. If you were not proactive, as Ladyback's post addressed, this could potentially indicate you were not all that disturbed by his contacting you. Perhaps he can use the post-traumatic stress from the rape to show you overreacted to him based on your past history. Perhaps all sorts of things.

I can't predict the odds or the outcome. But the possibility does exist that the court could find in favor of the guy.

I seriously suggest you consult with an attorney of your own, pizzaking, for a personal review of all facts, and for details on your possible options, and for a better idea of what the guy may have in the way of a defense to the charges, and for more specific advice and direction based on all of the above.

Good luck.

The charges are for this one incident from the moment the cop contacted him and told him to not contact me (on police record) and the obsessive contacting thereafter. There would be nothing of me contacting him during this time.

Again, this wasn't me, I just said yes to supply my evidence and charge him being the victim and giving permission. he obsessively txted, I blocked, he emailed, I replied with to stop contacting me, he txted, I called cops for restraining order, the cop said the process to start would be for me to have the cop tell him to stop, cop contacted and i packed up and left that night to colorado because expressing how f-d up it was that I did that and that fine it was over. I got scared of him coming over in rage and retaliating so I left and shut off my phone. I returned in a week and a half, turned on my phone and BAM, and then an email, I called cops, they took evidence and arrested him**************....that's it

nothing with me responding to him since I told him to stop contacting me and no contact from me since the cop contacted him. we can look at both phone records.

 

[Proserpina]

(It's me again, OP )

We're but mere humans. Very often - and sometimes because we've just been here too long and it becomes habit - there's a lot of reading between the lines or focusing on one aspect of a post which, while it's not the be all and end all of the post, may be a much larger issue for the OP than the OP realizes.

Try not to be defensive. It's very easy to misinterpret what people are saying (and that goes both ways, too).

Steve's idea is fantastic, too - check into victim's services.

And again, good luck.

 

[dave33]

pizzaking, O.K., Let's forget about the 40k. Done.

You have made your complaint to the police. Your entire role in the legal process is done. That's it. You have nothing else to do with anything, so it's time to move on with life. The only advice anyone CAN give you is to seek help through counseling outside the legal system (if you feel you need help). So, that's it then... Goodluck.

 

[quincy]

The charges are for this one incident from the moment the cop contacted him and told him to not contact me (on police record) and the obsessive contacting thereafter. There would be nothing of me contacting him during this time.

Again, this wasn't me, I just said yes to supply my evidence and charge him being the victim and giving permission. he obsessively txted, I blocked, he emailed, I replied with to stop contacting me, he txted, I called cops for restraining order, the cop said the process to start would be for me to have the cop tell him to stop, cop contacted and i packed up and left that night to colorado because expressing how f-d up it was that I did that and that fine it was over. I got scared of him coming over in rage and retaliating so I left and shut off my phone. I returned in a week and a half, turned on my phone and BAM, and then an email, I called cops, they took evidence and arrested him**************....that's it

nothing with me responding to him since I told him to stop contacting me and no contact from me since the cop contacted him. we can look at both phone records.

Before I comment on this quoted post of yours, pizzaking, I will address the post you made prior to this - about the $40,000 and the civil compromise.

We ALL understand now that the $40,000 was just an immediate thought of yours and is not something you wish to pursue. But you mentioned it first and it stood out to all of us as a figure that was excessive. It is not a surprise that anyone here would focus on that number. The guy's attorney would probably have advised against him agreeing to it. And a judge is not likely to look favorably on someone who has committed a crime and has tried to buy his way out of it, if the guy actually agreed to such a compromise.

It is ultimately up to the judge to decide whether any compromise made is one that should lead to the dismissal of the charges.

As to what will happen in court if a compromise is not made is anyone's guess. But if the guy is concerned about having a criminal record, and he has a good attorney, he will use whatever he can to show the charge itself is unreasonable and undeserved. With what he will do this is unknown to any of us here - but I imagine your history would play some role.

I agree with Proserpina and Stevef and the others who suggested it - a victims services group can be of help to you in your recovery. I also agree with dave33 - all that can be discussed has been discussed. You can seek out an attorney in your area for specific advice on what to do with the compromise. The attorney can go over options with you and you can then make an informed decision going forward. The criminal matter is out of your hands and in the hands of the prosecutor. What you do now is really up to you.

One final note: Everyone who has responded in this thread volunteered their time to assist you. Whether you agree with what was provided or not is not important. What IS important is for you to recognize the attention your problem was given. I certainly hope you can show some appreciation for all of this time and attention devoted to you and your legal concerns by the forum members. Thanks.

Good luck with it all.

 

[Ohiogal]

pizzaking, O.K., Let's forget about the 40k. Done.

You have made your complaint to the police. Your entire role in the legal process is done. That's it. You have nothing else to do with anything, so it's time to move on with life. The only advice anyone CAN give you is to seek help through counseling outside the legal system (if you feel you need help). So, that's it then... Goodluck.

Wrong. As she is the complaining victim, she needs to appear in court and testify against him if he pleads not guilty. Without her there is no foundation for the text messages. I can see this going to trial. I can also see this being dismissed or he being found not guilty if OP does not show up and testify against him. If he was my client, I would force the trial to see if she would show. If she doesn't, the prosecution doesn't have the necessary evidence to convict.

 

[dave33]

Wrong. As she is the complaining victim, she needs to appear in court and testify against him if he pleads not guilty. Without her there is no foundation for the text messages. I can see this going to trial. I can also see this being dismissed or he being found not guilty if OP does not show up and testify against him. If he was my client, I would force the trial to see if she would show. If she doesn't, the prosecution doesn't have the necessary evidence to convict.

IF this goes to trial. IF a plea cannot be reached. IF the prosecution decides. I guess anything is possible, it's just that a very small % of people whom are charged actually opt for a trial.