Boy did I screw up

[NYCTeacher]

You guys really need to practice reading the whole thread, my first post was asking the OP if she was working or not. the not working part wasn't even in my first paragraph, it was a 'second thought'. I offered solutions in both cases.

I don't believe that 3 accounts is solution you should only come to if you've given up on the marriage, while marriage IS a partnership, you still need to keep your identity. Part of that maybe keeping a personal bank account. The best solution is obviously the three account method.

 

[stealth2]

You guys really need to practice reading the whole thread, my first post was asking the OP if she was working or not. the not working part wasn't even in my first paragraph, it was a 'second thought'. I offered solutions in both cases.

I don't believe that 3 accounts is solution you should only come to if you've given up on the marriage, while marriage IS a partnership, you still need to keep your identity. Part of that maybe keeping a personal bank account. The best solution is obviously the three account method.

I hope to God you do not teach English.

Your "second thoughts" are moot. Keep them to yourself.

 

[NYCTeacher]

I hope to God you do not teach English.

Your "second thoughts" are moot. Keep them to yourself.

You don't have to work in a school to teach, every person we meet everyday we learn something from and teach something to just by being in their presence, in life we are all students and all teachers. Unfortunately, i fear that statement will go way over your head. You seem to be a very literal and stubborn person, don't worry, even you can learn if you try heard enough.

 

[stealth2]

You don't have to work in a school to teach, every person we meet everyday we learn something from and teach something to just by being in their presence, in life we are all students and all teachers. Unfortunately, i fear that statement will go way over your head. You seem to be a very literal and stubborn person, don't worry, even you can learn if you try heard enough.

No, I get it. You think that you have something to teach.

You don't.

 

[Ladyback1]

You don't have to work in a school to teach, every person we meet everyday we learn something from and teach something to just by being in their presence, in life we are all students and all teachers. Unfortunately, i fear that statement will go way over your head. You seem to be a very literal and stubborn person, don't worry, even you can learn if you try heard enough.

I have been a part of numerous on-line communities, and never have I witnessed a more arrogant, chauvinistic, ignorant narcissist than you.

 

[NYCTeacher]

No, I get it. You think that you have something to teach.

You don't.

lol, i knew it would go over your head!

 

[stealth2]

lol, i knew it would go over your head!

You'd be wrong, little boy. Now, please - go somewhere and sit quietly.

 

[NYCTeacher]

I have been a part of numerous on-line communities, and never have I witnessed a more arrogant, chauvinistic, ignorant narcissist than you.

HEY! I'm offended! I'm not ignorant!

 

[LdiJ]

You guys really need to practice reading the whole thread, my first post was asking the OP if she was working or not. the not working part wasn't even in my first paragraph, it was a 'second thought'. I offered solutions in both cases.

I don't believe that 3 accounts is solution you should only come to if you've given up on the marriage, while marriage IS a partnership, you still need to keep your identity. Part of that maybe keeping a personal bank account. The best solution is obviously the three account method.

Actually, you are the one who needs to practice reading the whole thread and comprehending what is going on.

This dude first mismanaged the marital funds to the point where bankruptcy was necessary, and then mismanaged the bankruptcy to the point where they were losing the house again.

You are so caught up in your "machismo" that you cannot even acknowledge that a man is capable of being so bad at managing money that he actually NEEDS to let his wife take over the reins and fix things.

My ex was HORRIBLE at managing money. I knew it, but more importantly HE knew it...and as a result he let me handle our finances. When we split up, our savings and our debt were about equal. He was smart enough to agree to let me keep the savings and the responsibility for the marital debt, because he KNEW that I wouldn't screw his credit or mine...and he knew that he would likely screw both of us.

You are so incredibly biased that you would rather see this poor guy end up divorced rather than admitting that he cannot handle money and that his wife needs to take that over. HE is the one who needs to be on an "allowance"...that is crystal clear.

 

[NYCTeacher]

Can you explain to me how, having three accounts, one joint that they both contribute to that the wife has full control of and pulls all the finances from, one with his money and one with her's is me NOT saying she needs to handle the finances??

Three accounts is the BEST way to go here, maybe if i used imaginary numbers it would help you all understand? Bills are $2,600 a month, husband makes $3,000 a month wife makes $3,000 a month, they each put $1,300+ in the joint account a month and $1,700 in their own personal accounts a month, the wife is the only one that can draw from the joint account and all bills are paid through that. What's the problem with that?

This is what i've been saying the whole time. Are you so anti-male here that my suggestion of her taking over the finances is seen as anti-female??

 

[ecmst12]

The multi-account method works great for couples who are past treating marriage as a relationship of love and trust and are to the point of making it a business relationship. "These are the monthly bills. You pay half, I pay half, into this account. Leave me and the rest of my money alone." You might as well just get a roommate.

Completely disagree. DH and I do this. Because neither of us NEED unfettered access to each others' paychecks. Because we should be able to spend some of our money on ourselves without the other seeing every transaction. Because we should be able to buy gifts for each other and have it be a surprise. Because it's easy for us to put the bill money in a separate account at the beginning of the month so we know that's taken care of and the rest of our paychecks are available. We can both see when something gets paid so there's no question of "did you forget to pay the mortgage this month". And there's never an issue of one person buying something for themselves and leaving the other unable to pay for gas or lunch. It does NOT mean that we might as well be roommates or that our relationship is any less loving or trusting than a couple that uses one account. But it does avoid a lot of sources of fights about money.

 

[Ladyback1]

Can you explain to me how, having three accounts, one joint that they both contribute to that the wife has full control of and pulls all the finances from, one with his money and one with her's is me NOT saying she needs to handle the finances??

Three accounts is the BEST way to go here, maybe if i used imaginary numbers it would help you all understand? Bills are $2,600 a month, husband makes $3,000 a month wife makes $3,000 a month, they each put $1,300+ in the joint account a month and $1,700 in their own personal accounts a month, the wife is the only one that can draw from the joint account and all bills are paid through that. What's the problem with that?

This is what i've been saying the whole time. Are you so anti-male here that my suggestion of her taking over the finances is seen as anti-female??

No, you jackwagon! You assuming she doesn't work, you advising OP to give the little woman an "Allowance", you making up your own mind and reading into a post what isn't there! Good Lord in Heaven. Are you so narcissistic and chauvinistic that you cannot see how your statements are insulting and degrading to women?????
Are you so dense that you can not see how you come across to people? Or do you just not give a flying ferret fart?

 

[Ladyback1]

HEY! I'm offended! I'm not ignorant!

you do realize that being ignorant is not a bad thing? I'm ignorant about the diesel pickup truck that the boyfriend has been looking to buy.....I can be taught about diesels, however.

Now, stupid on the other hand?? Well, if you want to cop to being stupid, who am I to argue with you!

 

[NYCTeacher]

No, you jackwagon! You assuming she doesn't work, you advising OP to give the little woman an "Allowance", you making up your own mind and reading into a post what isn't there! Good Lord in Heaven. Are you so narcissistic and chauvinistic that you cannot see how your statements are insulting and degrading to women?????
Are you so dense that you can not see how you come across to people? Or do you just not give a flying ferret fart?

Wow, i know these posts read differently then cookbooks and romance novels, but come on! You've got to be able to see the first few words of my first post were ASKING if she was working or not, then my second paragraph was "IF she doesn't work". None of that even implies assuming!

The allowance thing was just to add a little more from him as a sort of thank you to her for taking care of the finances, she can spend it on purses or shoes or even fancy doilies if she wants...Obviously that's not a requirement but women like to feel special. Sometimes a new iron or vacuum on christmas isn't enough. I don't know, maybe he could just sign her up to Avon or a cookbook of the month club instead of the allowance.

 

[TheGeekess]

Wow, i know these posts read differently then cookbooks and romance novels, but come on! You've got to be able to see the first few words of my first post were ASKING if she was working or not, then my second paragraph was "IF she doesn't work". None of that even implies assuming!

The allowance thing was just to add a little more from him as a sort of thank you to her for taking care of the finances, she can spend it on purses or shoes or even fancy doilies if she wants...Obviously that's not a requirement but women like to feel special. Sometimes a new iron or vacuum on christmas isn't enough. I don't know, maybe he could just sign her up to Avon or a cookbook of the month club instead of the allowance.

Misogynist much?

Now I totally understand why your wife divorced you and retains custody of the mutual child.