Ex wants to request Home Inspection

[BLM2013]

Arizona

First off, I apologize for my ignorance on this. I am dating the father of an 8 yr old boy who co-parents with the boy's mother. They were never married and have a verbal agreement to visitation every other weekend and a specified child support amount. This past weekend the father and son spent the night at my house in a bed together on one side of the house with me in another room on the other side of the house. She has stated that she will need my address as she will be requesting a home inspection since the son will be spending time there. I am not opposed to the inspection, just not sure if she can request that or not. Also, due to her past, I feel unsafe with her knowing exactly where I live. I am wondering if a home inspection would be required and, if so, can I just request one and have the results/observations shared with her?

Thank you very much for your time.

 

[CSO286]

Arizona

First off, I apologize for my ignorance on this. I am dating the father of an 8 yr old boy who co-parents with the boy's mother. They were never married and have a verbal agreement to visitation every other weekend and a specified child support amount. This past weekend the father and son spent the night at my house in a bed together on one side of the house with me in another room on the other side of the house. She has stated that she will need my address as she will be requesting a home inspection since the son will be spending time there. I am not opposed to the inspection, just not sure if she can request that or not. Also, due to her past, I feel unsafe with her knowing exactly where I live. I am wondering if a home inspection would be required and, if so, can I just request one and have the results/observations shared with her?

Thank you very much for your time.

You know what? You asked very nicely as a thrid party. I'm going to answer you.

Yes, the child's parent can request it. She would have to ask the courts to order it. It's unlikely that she would get it.

She is also not ENTITLED to know your name and address unless there is court order compelling Dad to ensure that Mom knows wher ehe will be with Junior at any givine moment and to identify the adults the child may come in contact with.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Are there any court orders at all? If not, ask that dad get one for parenting time to prevent that type of intrusion. And without a court order, you don't have to let in ANYONE.

 

[BLM2013]

Are there any court orders at all? If not, ask that dad get one for parenting time to prevent that type of intrusion. And without a court order, you don't have to let in ANYONE.

Thank you both for your responses, I truly appreciate it. I really want to do what is best for my boyfriend's son and make it easier for my boyfriend and his son to go through this transition.

She has filed child support paperwork through DCS which has subsequently started a case that requires his response by 29 Nov. It is my understanding that this has nothing to do with a parenting plan and is only in regards to the dollar amount of child support she will receive. Dad is working on filing through the court system all paperwork for paternity, child support and custody this week. If I understand you correctly he should stipulate within the parenting plan something to the effect of not having to declare every adult the son would come in contact with?

Thank you!

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Thank you both for your responses, I truly appreciate it. I really want to do what is best for my boyfriend's son and make it easier for my boyfriend and his son to go through this transition.

She has filed child support paperwork through DCS which has subsequently started a case that requires his response by 29 Nov. It is my understanding that this has nothing to do with a parenting plan and is only in regards to the dollar amount of child support she will receive. Dad is working on filing through the court system all paperwork for paternity, child support and custody this week. If I understand you correctly he should stipulate within the parenting plan something to the effect of not having to declare every adult the son would come in contact with?

Thank you!

I wouldn't even open up that kettle personally. Have him come here for suggestion so what to make sure is included in that parenting plan.

Mom can ask all she wants but if dad is found fit for parenting, the courts will assume that dad (and mom) can make good judgment calls on who the child is around. And see, if mom gets what she asks, HER life is subject to the same scrutiny.

 

[LdiJ]

I agree with the others with one exception. If dad LIVES at your house, then he is going to have to give her your address.

 

[longislandguy]

I put a clause in my order to address this. "Neither parent shall schedule events intentionally to conflict with the others parenting time or attempt to restrict what the other parent does during parenting time" basically telling the ex to butt out of what I do with our daughterdaughter. It was just signed into my order on Friday.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

In her first post, she said she was dating dad. I based my answer on that piece of information.

 

[CSO286]

Arizona

First off, I apologize for my ignorance on this. I am dating the father of an 8 yr old boy who co-parents with the boy's mother. They were never married and have a verbal agreement to visitation every other weekend and a specified child support amount. This past weekend the father and son spent the night at my house in a bed together on one side of the house with me in another room on the other side of the house. She has stated that she will need my address as she will be requesting a home inspection since the son will be spending time there. I am not opposed to the inspection, just not sure if she can request that or not. Also, due to her past, I feel unsafe with her knowing exactly where I live. I am wondering if a home inspection would be required and, if so, can I just request one and have the results/observations shared with her?

Thank you very much for your time.

I agree with the others with one exception. If dad LIVES at your house, then he is going to have to give her your address.

This advice would be good, but OP said they simply stayed over. "Ass"uming she is being forthright, then Mom doesn't have a right to that info.

 

[LdiJ]

This advice would be good, but OP said they simply stayed over. "Ass"uming she is being forthright, then Mom doesn't have a right to that info.

That's why I said "if". However, if he is there often enough that he feels the need to sleep over with his child, then its likely that is going to be an issue sooner rather than later.

 

[BLM2013]

That's why I said "if". However, if he is there often enough that he feels the need to sleep over with his child, then its likely that is going to be an issue sooner rather than later.

All, father does stay with me often, however, on weekends with his son he stays at his home. We were at father's brother's Halloween party until midnight and not back at my house until 1 am. Felt it was unsafe for him to drive an hour home at that time. Only reason the "sleep over" happened.

Thank you again for your responses.

 

[BLM2013]

New question pertaining to address change

Thank you again for your previous responses as they were very helpful. I have a new question and realizing I'm a third party if I'm not allowed/supposed to ask this please let me know. My boyfriend has now moved in with me and changed his address. The paperwork for the initial paternity complaint and the mediation request were filed prior to the move and therefore list his old address. His ex received the mediation request yesterday and is demanding to know his new address, etc. He will file the paperwork to update his address with the courts this Friday.

I am somewhat concerned with her knowing the address until the court case is settled because she has a history of doing drive bys and causing trouble for his family/friends and also doing damage to vehicles. My question is can a PO box be used instead? My boyfriend is does not have an attorney and would only have the PO Box listed (if that was allowed). I don't believe I should nor do I feel I have just cause to file an order of protection for the address and I understand that my boyfriend would have to file this NOT me. I'm just concerned about the safety aspect and not sure if there are any options.

I appreciate any help.

Thank you.

 

[Ladyback1]

Thank you again for your previous responses as they were very helpful. I have a new question and realizing I'm a third party if I'm not allowed/supposed to ask this please let me know. My boyfriend has now moved in with me and changed his address. The paperwork for the initial paternity complaint and the mediation request were filed prior to the move and therefore list his old address. His ex received the mediation request yesterday and is demanding to know his new address, etc. He will file the paperwork to update his address with the courts this Friday.

I am somewhat concerned with her knowing the address until the court case is settled because she has a history of doing drive bys and causing trouble for his family/friends and also doing damage to vehicles. My question is can a PO box be used instead? My boyfriend is does not have an attorney and would only have the PO Box listed (if that was allowed). I don't believe I should nor do I feel I have just cause to file an order of protection for the address and I understand that my boyfriend would have to file this NOT me. I'm just concerned about the safety aspect and not sure if there are any options.

I appreciate any help.

Thank you.

Assuming that you and Dad's relationship is serious, and could last a long while: At some point, Mom will need to know where the child is staying. If it were your child, would you want to know?

Having an ex-spouse/significant other know your address is something that comes with being involved with someone who has "baggage"; And honey, we all have baggage! When there is a child involved, the baggage is usually a complete set of Luis Vuitton luggage!

I guess my point is: Either deal with it now, or deal with it later. But, it will have to be dealt with. You chose to become involved with a man that had kids and an Ex.

 

[gam]

Does his court order require him to give the other parent his address? If it does, a PO Box would not satisfy that. He needs to change it with the courts though, that usually is a standard requirement.

This is why it's usually asked here that a 3rd party does not post and the person who's order it is posts, as they have the court order and can tell us exactly what it says.

 

[BLM2013]

Hi gam, thank you for your quick reply. There is no court order yet. They have just begun the process and filed the initial paperwork to get things moving. There is no document that states he must inform her of his new address. Just, from what I understand, the legal requirement to update it with the courts so that he has his current address on file if he needed to be served with any documents.