Custody and child support modification

[Evelyn_K]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Just last week, my 17-year-old son (who turns 18 in early July) decided he'd rather stay (I say stay because nothing has been agreed to or ordered in court in regards to physical custody) with his father. The father has mailed me court papers that indicate he wants me to start paying child support to him....I have no problem paying the 20% mandated by the state through age 18; however, I do have a problem with paying child support on an open-ended basis, which is what the father is requesting - until our son moves out or finishes college. Really? The father also wants me to pay for 1/2 of all college expenses including room and board, and books. I've never heard of such a thing, nor did our original parenting or child support agreement include anything like this. I'm more than happy to assist our son (if he maintains a relationship with me) with college expenses based from my income, not the father's. My gross income is $35k, and I'm the sole support of my family (one younger child who requires daycare), while the father has a gross income of $75k and is married making a dual income household of $140k; they have no children together, but his wife has two minor children from a previous marriage. Based on my income and family size, our son will receive grants and loan options which I and his father can further help subsidize. Based on the father's household income, our son will receive little to no assistance for college, putting a huge financial burden on my household (and most likely the father's as well). What are the laws in Illinois governing child support for an adult child attending college (full or part-time) and paying for any college expenses? Are there laws to allow for adjustments to be made to the 20% while the child is in college, or just child support legally end at 18? Do I stand a stone throw's chance in hell asking the court to say "no" to the child support (after age 18) AND 1/2 college expenses?

 

[Proserpina]

You have at least a decent shot, actually.

http://www.illinoislegalaid.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.dsp_content&contentID=5704

 

[Evelyn_K]

From what I'm reading is that since our son will have educational expenses, I will have to pay support during the time he's in college - and possible straight to the college in the form of tuition or room and board, etc....which is completely up to the judge. ???

 

[Evelyn_K]

Also - how do I respond to the father's filing? Do I file and answer with the court, or just show up on the date of the hearing and present my case?

 

[stealth2]

Also - how do I respond to the father's filing? Do I file and answer with the court, or just show up on the date of the hearing and present my case?

You should likely answer formally.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Just last week, my 17-year-old son (who turns 18 in early July) decided he'd rather stay (I say stay because nothing has been agreed to or ordered in court in regards to physical custody) with his father. The father has mailed me court papers that indicate he wants me to start paying child support to him....I have no problem paying the 20% mandated by the state through age 18; however, I do have a problem with paying child support on an open-ended basis, which is what the father is requesting - until our son moves out or finishes college. Really? The father also wants me to pay for 1/2 of all college expenses including room and board, and books. I've never heard of such a thing, nor did our original parenting or child support agreement include anything like this. I'm more than happy to assist our son (if he maintains a relationship with me) with college expenses based from my income, not the father's. My gross income is $35k, and I'm the sole support of my family (one younger child who requires daycare), while the father has a gross income of $75k and is married making a dual income household of $140k; they have no children together, but his wife has two minor children from a previous marriage. Based on my income and family size, our son will receive grants and loan options which I and his father can further help subsidize. Based on the father's household income, our son will receive little to no assistance for college, putting a huge financial burden on my household (and most likely the father's as well). What are the laws in Illinois governing child support for an adult child attending college (full or part-time) and paying for any college expenses? Are there laws to allow for adjustments to be made to the 20% while the child is in college, or just child support legally end at 18? Do I stand a stone throw's chance in hell asking the court to say "no" to the child support (after age 18) AND 1/2 college expenses?

FYI: the ordering of child support does not depend upon the child/ren maintaining a relationship with the obligor.

 

[CJane]

FYI: the ordering of child support does not depend upon the child/ren maintaining a relationship with the obligor.

I don't think that's what Mom was implying.

HOWEVER - Mom - If the child is living with Dad, and that's what I'm getting from your post, it's Dad's household (combined) income which will be considered when it comes to filling out the FAFSA. So, your son might be making a pretty poor decision to live with Dad as he approaches college.

 

[Evelyn_K]

Anything pertaining to maintaining a relationship exists for when my son turns 18 and is legal and can make his own decisions. My basis for helping with college is that I can help with what I can afford, not what the ex and his household can afford. Doesn't seem quite fair from a lower income standpoint. The fact that their combined household income will be taken into consideration for the grants/loans/etc for college make THEIR income the basis for college expenses, not mine. Because they can afford $x...doesn't mean I can. I also fail to understand why, just because dad and I do not maintain a household, we are responsible for college? There is no law that I can find that says we are, yet I see divided families struggling to comply with court orders to pay college expenses - when parents who stay together don't have to pay a dime if they don't want to or can't. Could be why there is no law to say we have to. ???

I'll be presenting my case on the 23rd. I'm sure an order will be entered for me to pay support, which I'm fine with. I will fight to have the motion for me to pay college expenses denied. I will be presenting the court with my financials, and wait for their decision. I can't argue, just do the best to prove my situation. I shouldn't have to get a second job or deny my younger son in order to put another child through college - unless I choose to do so. Frankly, if my son needs help with something, I feel he should come to me and we can sit down and talk about it. But that won't happen.....

 

[single317dad]

I also fail to understand why, just because dad and I do not maintain a household, we are responsible for college? There is no law that I can find that says we are, yet I see divided families struggling to comply with court orders to pay college expenses - when parents who stay together don't have to pay a dime if they don't want to or can't. Could be why there is no law to say we have to. ???

When married couples divorce, by that action they choose to give the family court authority over them. That authority may last until their children are all adults, or longer in some cases.

That said, you only have to pay post-secondary education expenses if you are ordered to do so by the court. What other posters are saying here is that the total household income of the child's home residence will be used to calculate costs and financial aid when/if he does attend college. They are not saying that you will have to pay anything based on another family's income.

 

[LdiJ]

When married couples divorce, by that action they choose to give the family court authority over them. That authority may last until their children are all adults, or longer in some cases.

That said, you only have to pay post-secondary education expenses if you are ordered to do so by the court. What other posters are saying here is that the total household income of the child's home residence will be used to calculate costs and financial aid when/if he does attend college. They are not saying that you will have to pay anything based on another family's income.

She is saying that DAD is the one saying that, as dad wants her to pay half of the college expenses. Expenses that will be determined by dad's income.

 

[Evelyn_K]

Yes, dad is the one saying this....and insisting I pay child support throughout the college years in addition to college expenses (room, board, and books included - basically paying for the ADULT child to live in two places simultaneously). What he's asking for is ridiculous, and would put me in the poor house (or a box on the corner).

Bottom line: I cannot afford what dad's household can afford. Will the court see this? If so, how do I present this...financial statements, tax returns, what?

Additionally - we were never married. Don't know if that matters, or not.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes, dad is the one saying this....and insisting I pay child support throughout the college years in addition to college expenses (room, board, and books included - basically paying for the ADULT child to live in two places simultaneously). What he's asking for is ridiculous, and would put me in the poor house (or a box on the corner).

Bottom line: I cannot afford what dad's household can afford. Will the court see this? If so, how do I present this...financial statements, tax returns, what?

Additionally - we were never married. Don't know if that matters, or not.

Yes, you would use financial statements, tax returns, and possibly recent pay stubs to present it to the court. You also need to officially respond to dad's suit, objecting to paying child support past age 18, and object to paying for college.

Just because dad asks...doesn't mean that dad is going to get.

 

[Evelyn_K]

How do I officially respond? Are their specific forms to use?

 

[Silverplum]

Interesting, simply-explained pages on IL college support: http://cordellcordell.com/resources/illinois/forced-to-pay-for-your-childs-college/
(I have no connections to any links I post.)

http://www.illinoislegalaid.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.dsp_content&contentID=5704

http://illinoisdivorce.com/family_law_articles/child_support_and_college.php