Possible outcome of Spousal Support, please help

[Bali Hai]

I totally agree with you. I was thinking the same way to wait until we get permanent residence, but lately looking at how things have progressed, I'm afraid my wife is capable of doing "whatever it takes" to get whatever she wants, and if I let her get that leverage, I'm afraid I'm just going to dig my own grave. It sounds selfish I know, unfortunately there does not seem to be any guarantee-able win-win solution. Also by staying together longer that may have its own disadvantages (like my son having to witness all those fighting, yelling and hatred).

Original plan, we do plan to get green card together (she also gets a green card as my wife) and the lawyer said everything in order, just the excruciating wait.

Proserpina, thanks for your link.

Is there a reason you people come out of the woodwork on Super Bowl Sunday?

 

[LdiJ]

Compared to being ripped from everything he knows?



L, he's already got the residency in the bank, for all intents and purposes.

You're honestly of the belief that LPR wouldn't trump out-of-status parent when the child is a US citizen?

Why?

Because neither of them have guaranteed US residency for the long term.

 

[Proserpina]

Because neither of them have guaranteed US residency for the long term.

Given that Dad's green card is all but guaranteed, I'm still not sure why you're saying that his residency won't be long term.

 

[Proserpina]

Is there a reason you people come out of the woodwork on Super Bowl Sunday?

Probably to save the Broncos from even more embarrassment?

 

[LdiJ]

Given that Dad's green card is all but guaranteed, I'm still not sure why you're saying that his residency won't be long term.

Huh? Where do you get that?...never mind, I found it. His job is getting him a green card, therefore his wife should be able to get one too, and that solves the whole problem for the child.

 

[Proserpina]

Huh? Where do you get that?...never mind, I found it. His job is getting him a green card, therefore his wife should be able to get one too, and that solves the whole problem for the child.

Provided he doesn't put the green-card on hold until the divorce is over. If they divorce first, she has two options: get herself a visa on her own merits, or ...well, leave.

This is what concerns me:

The wife is already tossing "divorce" around. She apparently doesn't realize that divorce = go home (unless again she is able to obtain a visa herself). If she does realize this, there's just nothing compelling her to stay in the US with the child. This child has been raised in the US and while I realize that most kids can adapt fairly well to even a drastic change, when you add that to the fact that Dad will be staying here (in all likelihood), what lies in the best interest of the child?

What are the odds of the court actually allowing Mom and the US citizen child to return to Mom's home country with no guarantee of support, when the alternative is the child staying with Dad in the US where he can be supported financially?

Sure, IF Mom can stay with Dad long enough to get a greencard, the entire situation becomes tricky again. Even if she gets that residency, there's no guarantee whatsoever that she'd actually be able to remain the CP and earn enough to adequately provide for the child. OP didn't sponsor her, so she doesn't have that to fall back on. She's been out of the workforce for 7 years - more or less rules out everything but an entry-level job.

All else being equal, Mom has too much going against her. The "lesser of two evils" (in terms of the situation, not the parent) would appear to be - no matter what - the child being able to remain in the US. If Mom has no way of staying legally, I just cannot see the court ruling in her favor.

 

[LdiJ]

Provided he doesn't put the green-card on hold until the divorce is over. If they divorce first, she has two options: get herself a visa on her own merits, or ...well, leave.

This is what concerns me:

The wife is already tossing "divorce" around. She apparently doesn't realize that divorce = go home (unless again she is able to obtain a visa herself). If she does realize this, there's just nothing compelling her to stay in the US with the child. This child has been raised in the US and while I realize that most kids can adapt fairly well to even a drastic change, when you add that to the fact that Dad will be staying here (in all likelihood), what lies in the best interest of the child?

What are the odds of the court actually allowing Mom and the US citizen child to return to Mom's home country with no guarantee of support, when the alternative is the child staying with Dad in the US where he can be supported financially?

Sure, IF Mom can stay with Dad long enough to get a greencard, the entire situation becomes tricky again. Even if she gets that residency, there's no guarantee whatsoever that she'd actually be able to remain the CP and earn enough to adequately provide for the child. OP didn't sponsor her, so she doesn't have that to fall back on. She's been out of the workforce for 7 years - more or less rules out everything but an entry-level job.

All else being equal, Mom has too much going against her. The "lesser of two evils" (in terms of the situation, not the parent) would appear to be - no matter what - the child being able to remain in the US. If Mom has no way of staying legally, I just cannot see the court ruling in her favor.

I dunno, stranger things have happened. However, I do very strongly feel that the best interest of the child is for BOTH parents to be able to remain in the US so that the child has regular and consistent access to BOTH parents. Therefore, dad should do his best to make sure that his wife obtains a green card as well before any divorce happens.

 

[Bali Hai]

Probably to save the Broncos from even more embarrassment?

Did the Broncos even show up? I saw their uniforms, don't know who was wearing them.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Surprisingly, those people who feel strongly foreigners with no right to live or work in the US are strong on conviction and short on supporting their beliefs financially. They prefer everyone's tax dollars do it so they can pretend it really has no effect. In this situation OP will get most of that bill.

 

[Proserpina]

Did the Broncos even show up? I saw their uniforms, don't know who was wearing them.

The rumor is that the Hogwarts Under 10 squad played instead.

 

[Proserpina]

I dunno, stranger things have happened. However, I do very strongly feel that the best interest of the child is for BOTH parents to be able to remain in the US so that the child has regular and consistent access to BOTH parents. Therefore, dad should do his best to make sure that his wife obtains a green card as well before any divorce happens.

I agree with the second sentence - but with a caveat. "..whenever possible".

Sometimes it's not in the child's best interest. OP hasn't given us any indication though that she'd want to stay. That being the case...well, y'know.

How about...Mom agrees to Dad having full legal custody? That way she'll have a terrifically difficult time if she does decide that running is the best idea. Dad can support his child, Mom gets to see their child regularly and the child wins.

 

[Ladyback1]

Did the Broncos even show up? I saw their uniforms, don't know who was wearing them.

They showed up. Of course, Peyton tried to throw in the towel in the 3rd quarter, but it was intercepted and ran back for a touchdown.

 

[need2]

Surprisingly, those people who feel strongly foreigners with no right to live or work in the US are strong on conviction and short on supporting their beliefs financially. They prefer everyone's tax dollars do it so they can pretend it really has no effect. In this situation OP will get most of that bill.

I'm sorry for being dumb, but I'm lost on this. Could you or someone else straighten me out on this? Thanks

 

[need2]

I agree with the second sentence - but with a caveat. "..whenever possible".

Sometimes it's not in the child's best interest. OP hasn't given us any indication though that she'd want to stay. That being the case...well, y'know.

How about...Mom agrees to Dad having full legal custody? That way she'll have a terrifically difficult time if she does decide that running is the best idea. Dad can support his child, Mom gets to see their child regularly and the child wins.

Sorry for late reply. I'm not sure exactly what DW wants since I have been quite disconnected with her for some time. I would say she wants to stay here in the States as well. She probably knows I won't divorce her so easily since she never mention divorce and act "normal" when we are not arguing. About work, she had offered several jobs that pays more than my job, but those jobs won't support work visa, so its possible she get a job pretty soon upon PR / EAD. She has multiple master degrees and speak more than 5 languages.

Thanks for the multiple perspectives. Now its harder for me to decide what to do but its good now I am aware of my options.

 

[ecmst12]

Feel free to ignore OHR. He hasn't added anything useful.