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seperation..I think???

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nica924

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
My husband of 5 years and father of our 2 children out of the blue says he no longer loves me and he wants us to leave, we never fought or even talked about divorce.. he basically acted like we were doing fine until 1 minute before he told me this. I am the primary caretaker of our 5 year old low functioning autistic son and our 4 year old daughter, he is the primary breadwinner and has been throughout our marriage. I had no indication I needed to prepare for anything, he gave us no where to go. I mean no where.. we were in the UK awaiting HIS visa application to return to the States (California where we had maintained residence 1 1/2 years prior) I was out of status so the only option is to have him write out the travel letter for the kids and for me to declare myself an overstayer to get sent back to California w/my children. I will have to move us into my parents house in California (they do not have much money and can only provide minimal assistance ie a roof and food temporarily) I am still in the process of figuring out what to do from there. My husband plans to give us some money to help get started but not much, he has said that he will send money every month from the UK though he wont say when (day of the month) or how much, when he sends it he plans on sending western union to my name rather than a bank account. He cannot travel to the USA any time soon as he is subject to a ban on re-entry (though we don't know for how long) for his overstay in the US, he has a I-130 form pending though it was on the basis of marriage so I think he will have to re-apply on the basis of US citizen children.. suffice it to say that for at least the next year I am certain he will not be present in the US to see his children or to attend any sort of legal dispute. Here are my questions:
1. At this point what is our status? (married but separated, separated, or no change)
2. Is there some sort of clause protecting family abandonment, and would this be one of those cases?
3. Since we are newly returned to California but have not retained any other US residence since leaving 1 1/2 years ago, do we qualify as "residents" as is required for any sort of state assistance including medi-cal, SSI, welfare ect.
4. How do I quantify my "income" for the sake of filling these assistance forms? as it is NOT guaranteed or in regular increments and I have no proof of it as I have not received any yet.
5. Will I need to include my parents in "household size" and "household income" on these forms? (they will not be giving me any support money and are simply trying to keep us from being homeless)
6. What can I legally do or request of my husband in order to insure regular income?
I know this is long and complicated I appreciate you reading through any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank You.
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
My husband of 5 years and father of our 2 children out of the blue says he no longer loves me and he wants us to leave, we never fought or even talked about divorce.. he basically acted like we were doing fine until 1 minute before he told me this. I am the primary caretaker of our 5 year old low functioning autistic son and our 4 year old daughter, he is the primary breadwinner and has been throughout our marriage. I had no indication I needed to prepare for anything, he gave us no where to go. I mean no where.. we were in the UK awaiting HIS visa application to return to the States (California where we had maintained residence 1 1/2 years prior) I was out of status so the only option is to have him write out the travel letter for the kids and for me to declare myself an overstayer to get sent back to California w/my children. I will have to move us into my parents house in California (they do not have much money and can only provide minimal assistance ie a roof and food temporarily) I am still in the process of figuring out what to do from there. My husband plans to give us some money to help get started but not much, he has said that he will send money every month from the UK though he wont say when (day of the month) or how much, when he sends it he plans on sending western union to my name rather than a bank account. He cannot travel to the USA any time soon as he is subject to a ban on re-entry (though we don't know for how long) for his overstay in the US, he has a I-130 form pending though it was on the basis of marriage so I think he will have to re-apply on the basis of US citizen children.. suffice it to say that for at least the next year I am certain he will not be present in the US to see his children or to attend any sort of legal dispute. Here are my questions:
1. At this point what is our status? (married but separated, separated, or no change)
2. Is there some sort of clause protecting family abandonment, and would this be one of those cases?
3. Since we are newly returned to California but have not retained any other US residence since leaving 1 1/2 years ago, do we qualify as "residents" as is required for any sort of state assistance including medi-cal, SSI, welfare ect.
4. How do I quantify my "income" for the sake of filling these assistance forms? as it is NOT guaranteed or in regular increments and I have no proof of it as I have not received any yet.
5. Will I need to include my parents in "household size" and "household income" on these forms? (they will not be giving me any support money and are simply trying to keep us from being homeless)
6. What can I legally do or request of my husband in order to insure regular income?
I know this is long and complicated I appreciate you reading through any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank You.
Where are you and the children now?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I suspect the UK.

OP - You may want to formulate a plan for if you are not permitted to return to the US. Being re-admitted is not a given.
 

nica924

Junior Member
I suspect the UK.

OP - You may want to formulate a plan for if you are not permitted to return to the US. Being re-admitted is not a given.
yes in the UK we will be leaving shortly the OP has filled out and had notarized a document for travel for the children to travel with me to "resettle in the USA" and that "they will not be returning to the UK" He knows he won't be able to just visit.. while I fully respect his right to see his children and encourage it I have no choice but to return to the US where I have citizenship. I have discussed with him the high chance that he will not be re-admitted at least for another few years and have encouraged him to look into it, he seems indifferent.. he just wants us gone.
 

commentator

Senior Member
When you get there, go to the social services offices and let them answer these rather complicated questions you have asked here about assistance, help you work through them. You do not have to have the right answers before you go in, and soliciting random advice about 'what shall I tell them?" on the internet is pretty unwise. Tell them the exact truth, with as much documentation as you can produce, and let them tell you how the situation will be handled.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
One point. He cannot yet obtain any immigration benefits based on the US citizen children.

(The children must be 21 for that to happen)
 

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