Moving out of the country - visitation?

[disturbeddreame]

DD is 6 - our current consent order is 12 hours per month. usually 3 per week. no sleepovers she wouldnt agree and he never wanted to force it.

Father is moving out of the country - says he'll continue to pay child support but I dont care if he doesn't.
and we have skyped with him when we've been on holiday so they can skype all the time.
And he says he'll visit or when we vacation we'll meet up at Disney.

Do I just let Social Services know he's gone?

He hasn't asked that I send DD on the plane alone or to stay with his extendedly, he just had a baby with his wife so that's why they're moving to be with her family.

 

[Zigner]

DD is 6 - our current consent order is 12 hours per month. usually 3 per week. no sleepovers she wouldnt agree and he never wanted to force it.

Father is moving out of the country - says he'll continue to pay child support but I dont care if he doesn't.
and we have skyped with him when we've been on holiday so they can skype all the time.
And he says he'll visit or when we vacation we'll meet up at Disney.

Do I just let Social Services know he's gone?

He hasn't asked that I send DD on the plane alone or to stay with his extendedly, he just had a baby with his wife so that's why they're moving to be with her family.

It's not your duty to notify anyone that he has moved.

 

[Ladyback1]

DD is 6 - our current consent order is 12 hours per month. usually 3 per week. no sleepovers she wouldnt agree and he never wanted to force it.

Father is moving out of the country - says he'll continue to pay child support but I dont care if he doesn't.
and we have skyped with him when we've been on holiday so they can skype all the time.
And he says he'll visit or when we vacation we'll meet up at Disney.

Do I just let Social Services know he's gone?

He hasn't asked that I send DD on the plane alone or to stay with his extendedly, he just had a baby with his wife so that's why they're moving to be with her family.

what state are you in?
US LAW ONLY

 

[Ohiogal]

what state are you in?
US LAW ONLY

She is in the Bahamas -- posting history is interested. She wanted to give the child up for adoption. She then chose to nurse the child for more than two years. She ... and I am still working on getting through the rest.

 

[disturbeddreame]

Thank you Zinger, that was helpful and exactly what Ive just heard from my attorney and Social Services.




and Ohiogal for the record it was actually 3 + years! quite an accomplishment. I havent read my past posts, there have been struggles but for the past 2 + years things have been very harmonious with everyone compromising.

I'm sure most of us have an "interesting" post history. but not sure that nursing would be the interesting part?

nursing past 2 years is something my doctors, the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics all recommend it, because it is nothing but normal, accepted, and encouraged in most of the world.

 

[Ladyback1]

T



and Ohiogal for the record it was actually 3 + years! quite an accomplishment.

I suspect that is why at 6 y/o the child is so clingy.

Nursing is a grand an marvelous thing, however, if it excludes bonding with the other parent--it no longer becomes a grand and marvelous thing.

 

[Zigner]

nursing past 2 years is something my doctors, the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics all recommend it, because it is nothing but normal, accepted, and encouraged in most of the world.

I can't speak to your doctor's recommendation, but please feel free to give a cite showing where the WHO or the American Academy of Pediatrics specifically recommend breast-feeding a 6 year old.

 

[disturbeddreame]

Actually - she has been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and Selective Mutism last year
The nursing stopped at past three years yet she was still clingy for years after. - so we suspect maybe that is to blame and not the nursing.
Got help for her and now she is doing much better! Actually dads new wife sent me a video about it - thinking that might have been the prob and she right and very helpful.

 

[anearthw]

2, not 6, is the minimum recommendation now and what the OP speaks of, I don't believe she ever mentioned nursing at all let alone with her 6 year old, until someone else brought it up.

I would suggest that a clingy child is more likely a result of personality, parental conflict, and the fact that dad is happy to go start a new family abroad rather than for some reason the OP being blamed for nursing at 3+. I have a kid the same age who would walk away with perfect strangers due to his lack of clingyness, but I guess bashing extended nursing for the sake of bashing is cool around these parts.

 

[disturbeddreame]

I can't speak to your doctor's recommendation, but please feel free to give a cite showing where the WHO or the American Academy of Pediatrics specifically recommend breast-feeding a 6 year old.

Breastfeeding your child past infancy is NORMAL

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that “Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child… Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother… There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.” (AAP 2012, AAP 2005)

The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that “As recommended by the WHO, breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is not the cultural norm in the United States and requires ongoing support and encouragement. It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years. Family physicians should be knowledgeable regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding, including continued immune protection, better social adjustment, and having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast cancer.” They also note that “If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.” (AAFP 2008)
The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine affirms breastfeeding beyond infancy as the biological norm. “The average age at weaning ranges anywhere from six months to five years… Claims that breastfeeding beyond infancy is harmful to mother or infant have absolutely no medical or scientific basis,” says Arthur Eidelman, MD, president of the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine. “Indeed, the more salient issue is the damage caused by modern practices of premature weaning.” The global organization of physicians further notes that “Human milk contains nutrients, antibodies, and immune-modulating substances that are not present in infant formula or cow’s milk. Longer breastfeeding duration is further associated with reduced maternal risks of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, diabetes, hypertension, obesity, and heart attack.” (ABM 2012)

 

[Zigner]

2, not 6, is the minimum recommendation now and what the OP speaks of, I don't believe she ever mentioned nursing at all let alone with her 6 year old, until someone else brought it up.

I would suggest that a clingy child is more likely a result of personality, parental conflict, and the fact that dad is happy to go start a new family abroad rather than for some reason the OP being blamed for nursing at 3+. I have a kid the same age who would walk away with perfect strangers due to his lack of clingyness, but I guess bashing extended nursing for the sake of bashing is cool around these parts.

To be clear, I wasn't bashing extended nursing at all. In fact, I don't believe I made any sort of statement as to my position on the matter. I simply asked the OP to back up her statement.


(For the record, I don't give a flying fart about it...it's not my concern)

 

[Zigner]

Breastfeeding your child past infancy is NORMAL

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that “Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child… Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother… There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.” (AAP 2012, AAP 2005)

The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that “As recommended by the WHO, breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is not the cultural norm in the United States and requires ongoing support and encouragement. It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years. Family physicians should be knowledgeable regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding, including continued immune protection, better social adjustment, and having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast cancer.” They also note that “If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.” (AAFP 2008)
The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine affirms breastfeeding beyond infancy as the biological norm. “The average age at weaning ranges anywhere from six months to five years… Claims that breastfeeding beyond infancy is harmful to mother or infant have absolutely no medical or scientific basis,” says Arthur Eidelman, MD, president of the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine. “Indeed, the more salient issue is the damage caused by modern practices of premature weaning.” The global organization of physicians further notes that “Human milk contains nutrients, antibodies, and immune-modulating substances that are not present in infant formula or cow’s milk. Longer breastfeeding duration is further associated with reduced maternal risks of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, diabetes, hypertension, obesity, and heart attack.” (ABM 2012)

I see that you can't back up your specific statement. Thanks, that's what I thought

 

[Ladyback1]

2, not 6, is the minimum recommendation now and what the OP speaks of, I don't believe she ever mentioned nursing at all let alone with her 6 year old, until someone else brought it up.

I would suggest that a clingy child is more likely a result of personality, parental conflict, and the fact that dad is happy to go start a new family abroad rather than for some reason the OP being blamed for nursing at 3+. I have a kid the same age who would walk away with perfect strangers due to his lack of clingyness, but I guess bashing extended nursing for the sake of bashing is cool around these parts.

I am not bashing extended nursing.
As I stated, it is my opinion that one of the reason the child is clingy, and doesn't want anything to do with Dad is because of the breastfeeding. If Mom exclusive breastfed for first 6 mo., and it was breastfeeding on demand (which is recommended), how did that work for any sort of visitation with Dad? Did Mom (or Dad for that matter) use that as excuse to put restrictions on visits? Did Mom "hover" during visitations, making it difficult for the baby and father to bond?
So, I'm not bashing. I have concerns that the breastfeeding may have allowed the Mom an excuse to shut dad out. It happens in intact families as well!

 

[disturbeddreame]

I see that you can't back up your specific statement. Thanks, that's what I thought

the WHO and AAP recommend 2 years or beyond.

so I dont think 3 is a stretch?

 

[Proserpina]

Disturbed, are you a non-US native?

I'm asking out of sheer curiosity - the use of the term "social services", and the laid back attitude about extended nursing.

They both would fit in rather well with the way the UK does things

(I'd probably be taken out back and shot at dawn if I regaled everyone here with stories of nursing past teething age... )