Lots to update and I really need some guidance.
A hearing was scheduled at ncp's request to protest credit reporting. I received a phone call stating that it is stayed because of something filed in circuit court. So after much transferring, I found what can only be described as the most helpful court clerk in existence. NCP is trying to circumvent cse because he knows he can't win, and filed in the original court. She told me that an attorney on behalf of ncp filed for termination of child support as of her 18th birthday, and stating no arrears are owed. That they don't do telephone conferences, that I must appear, or an attorney. CSE says they continue collection, a garnishment has been put through to his employer and that continues until they have an order otherwise.
1. I have a letter from this month signed by NCP to enforcement stating that he knows he was behind, was planning to catch up but I moved, and says his last payment was mid 2011. The clerk told me that directly disputes what he is claiming in whatever he filed.
2. Daughter turned 18 at the beginning of her senior year of high school
3. She went on to college, full time (Dean's List!!!) and is currently in her third quarter. She did provide him access to her course schedule. He has never asked for grades, he has never asked for her address, and he has spoken with her roughly 4 times a year, until this month.
4. He has called her multiple times in the last few weeks, more times than the last 3 years combined, and had his daughter leave ours a message saying "congratulations sister that you are in college!" It appears he will be pretending he didn't know she was in school.
5. He called her last night, and told her that her mother is in "for a world of hurt in court", that he is "really mad at your mother for moving so I don't want to give her any money but if you need any money just let me know and I'll give you some". Lets forget the fact that he owed me for 2 years prior to moving, had more kids after he stopped paying, and hadn't seen her in 6 months at the time of our move. Daughter just muttered "okay" and "uh huh" and told him she had to go to dinner, then called me freaking out.
6. He never filed for a cs modification, never filed to stop me from moving, never filed for termination of child support at 18 or high school graduation.
7. He talked to the same clerk I did yesterday, after me, and told her he wants our daughter to go to court, because she is on his side and will back up everything he says. Court clerk told me she told him no, that it is between the parents and attorneys. This was even before he talked to daughter about this matter AT ALL, or even talked to her period in many weeks. Daughter wants to write a letter on my behalf, which I'm uncomfortable with but the court clerk said I probably should let her. She would attend as well but I can't do that to her. She is disgusted and wants nothing to do with him at all, and said "he'd rather pay an attorney than support me". Keep in mind, I told her very little about any of this until he called her.
8. He told daughter in 2011 he was behind in child support but was working on it
9. He told her that the latest "rumor" he heard was that I told "people" he demanded a paternity test, and have been telling "everyone" he has never paid child support, and he wanted her to know that isn't true. Daughter was like "I have no idea what you are talking about!" He said his source was a cousin of mine that hates my whole family, he is derranged, unemployed and desperate for drama and attention and speaks to not even his own sisters because he is insane. I have never said such things, and in fact willingly provided cse with an affidavit giving him credit for every penny he paid in the past. I've also never, ever said a negative thing about him to our daughter, her entire life, until last night. She figured things out all on her own.
Everyone I've talked to and all my research lead me to these facts...I have the law behind me, but I must show up, or get an attorney. If I show up, I will win, but he will make sure it is a freaking circus with his wife and a cousin of mine that is outed from the family that hates me and anything else he can use to intimidate me. I am disabled, and there is just about no way I can travel that far and deal with this, although I am smart enough to file the proper paperwork and I COULD go pro se if I didn't have to physically attend. The two state thing is making legal aid impossible. He is hoping, as stated by several people including the wonderful CJane and the court clerk, that I don't show up and he wins by default. I also could fly there, and the hearing could be rescheduled by his attorney, even on the same day. I'm going to try to get a letter from my doctor but clerk said that is no guarantee, that they usually require appearance.
No one, ever, has told him he is wrong. Not his family, not our daughter, not his wife. He actually believes he was screwed in this whole thing, and that he will win, and I'm wrong. His attorney hopefully explained reality but it doesn't sound like it sunk in, they are probably just giving it a shot.
Any comments? I would really like to find an attorney that will let me do the leg work...I'll file everything, prepare everything...I found the forms to dispute terminations of child support, and whenever I finally get a copy of what he filed I'll pattern my response after it...but I cannot afford a large retainer, I will sell stuff to raise money just for arguing at the hearing for me...is that a crazy hope? I should have known better, but I really didn't think he would outright lie (even providing proof of his lies to cse, lol) and use our daughter. Stupid, naive, I know. If he had been sending her anything, even directly all these years, I wouldn't be even enforcing this...but he owes me a ton. By the time she turns 21 it will be like $40,000.
Another thing...this is a "hearing". So it isn't like court last time, where it takes over a year and drags on and we have to constantly keep filing things? There is a hearing, and the judge rules, and we we are done? Or am I not understanding?