What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
Sorry if it seems everything is kind of thrown around
I am a single mother to a beautiful 8 year old little girl, her name is Crystal. She has Autism, sensory processing disorder, and she is non verbal. The only way she communicates is by using her communication device or pointing to what she wants. She has started hitting herself when frustrated so I am trying to help her find other ways to relieve her frustration instead of hitting. She is in the 2ND grade full time in the essential academics class, she is receiving speech therapy, occupational therapy. She is also receiving some outside speech therapy and ABA therapy.
Her father is some what around. Crystal's visits with him are every other weekend, Friday - Sunday. The most that she does see him is maybe twice a month, and he picks her up Saturday and brings her home Sunday(for his own reasoning, that I don't know). That's just what he prefers. He lives with his girlfriend, her son and their baby girl. He hardly sees Crystal because he has work that next week(or has work in general), or he just says he's busy has other plans,so for instance he can't pick her up this weekend because he has to work the next week.lol Or he can't get her because he's tired, most recent excuse he couldn't pick her up on Friday was because he had to go buy wrestling tickets which he ended up not picking up until Saturday(he wanted until Saturday morning to tell me that), so then he was late picking her up Saturday and Crystal was all excited, ready and waiting for him. He has never been to any of her doctor appts. *when Crystal was born with a hole in the heart that was repaired, and she has Digeorge syndrome,which is a genetic disorder, I was tested and came back negative and her father refused to be tested, or just seemed more like he made excuses to not be tested, he didn't have time, or he lost the lab slip. To this day he still has not been tested.
He has only been to a couple of her school meetings, I admit that it is mostly my fault because I don't bother to notify him about them normally when I do he either has to work or just can't. So I just gave up on even bothering to tell him. He himself never asks me about her school meetings or her doctor's appts. I mean he is just as capable of asking if she has any appts. coming up. i did mention to him that school meeting she has on the 17th at 1 pm, and he said he can't make it because he has an appt. on Tuesday at the same time. I'm like WTH?! What does that have to do with Monday's meeting? He just doesn't seem interested in educating himself about our daughter's disabilities.Whenever I do try and talk to him about it his response is "oh, ok". Sometimes I think he is in denial about everything but he would never admit it. As previously mentioned our daughter has Autism and SPD, is also non verbal. He mentioned to me once that he spanked her for playing with her poop(a couple of years ago), but if he spanked once he would probably do it again. Which I do not approve of mainly because she is a non verbal special needs child! Crystal has frequent meltdowns, she is very sensitive to noise. He had called me once and Crystal was upset in the background and while we were on the phone he told her " you need to quit crying, your almost 8 years old". I told him "she doesn't understand that!". There has been a few times where she was at his apartment and she was having her normal meltdowns(which I think he just thinks she's being trouble) he called me and said "what's wrong with Crystal?" or he will say "why she do that?", "what's wrong with her?" Well if he would educate himself he would know why she does some of the things that she does, or why they happen and how to help her.I tell him what he can do and of course he says" Oh, ok". AHHHH!! If I hear that phrase one more time.
I really feel that he is not emotionally, financially, mentally able to care for our daughter. I say finanancially because he cares for 2 other children as well as Crystal, but on his weekend with her he never seems to ever have anything there for her. He always wants me to send pull ups, or clothes, pajamas, movies, toys. Which I do for Crystal, but I feel i know she is rarely over there at his place but shouldn't he be responsible too? for having things for her.
I really want to modify the visitation schedule or terminate it as far as overnights with him. Mainly because he lives in an apartment and when she is over there with him and she is having a meltdown, crying, stomping he has said the neighbors can hear and Crystal keeps the baby awake.
I mean I really don't know how safe the environment is over there. He came by my house to see Crystal one day and brought his girlfriend's son with him (he is 7) and as they came into the house he told him to keep his mouth shut.I confronted him about it and he just kind of laughed it off and said that he always saying stupid stuff. Which that doesn't make it right! He called me upset one time because his girlfriend was upset about breaking her phone charger accidently and he called her stupid and she punched him in the face and he pushed her. I mean what the heck is going on over there?? I just feel like overnight's are not a good idea anymore because of all of that, and because of everything that Crystal is going through, and seems sometimes like he can't handle it, or being interested at all in what Crystal is going through.
I am just looking for some advice/opinions on all of this, if anyone has been through something similar. If I decide to go back t court would the judge possibly see my point in all of this and agree?
UPDATE!
I went to see my counselor, about all of this and she has said that I should get myself an attorney , basically go to court in front of the judge and the judge will most likely possibly both of us parenting classes, counseling etc. Give him supervised visitation, someone will come to the home and see how things are. Try to get him to be more invovled in her schooling, doctors appointments, therapies etc.
My counselor said that he may even just sign his rights away on his own because he will not want to take the time do all that, the classes and counseling. He does not help pay for her therapy, that I am paying out of pocket because insurance does not cover it. He gives $23 in childsupport once a week. I mean if he doesn't want to contribute money to her therapy then why would he want to pay for classes?
Even though it might seem like it , I am not doing this (going to court to change visitation/custody) to spite him at all. I feel that he is just not capable of taking care of her alone. He doesn't understand the special needs that she has. Does not want to educate himself, everytime I tell him something all he says is"oh, ok". I feel like he isn't really even listening to what I am saying.
I will give a couple of examples of what I am talking about, (the first conversation is when she was at his house overnight, and he messaged me the next morning about what happened the night before).
*he called, I didn't answer was still asleep*
Me: I just woke up, what's up?
(this is the way he spells, so people don't get confused).
him: Why u even have a phone for and u don't pick up
me: I was sleeping, anyways what's up?
him:She (our daughter) **** on herself last night
Me: poor baby, what happened?
him: she is in the bathroom
Him: I can't handle it that sick
Me: what's sick?
Him: an 8 year old carping on themself
WTH?! It's just poop! Our daughter is 8 years old and has delays and she is not fully potty trained yet. She can go when we tell her to, but she can't tell us yet when she has to go. I told him after that conversation that he didn't have to keep her overnight anymore and he ignored me on that. He then said he was going to bring her home around 3 and that he had no diapers or nothing for her. I said not even underwear? but he then saidshe had 2 pairs. I told him make sure you buy her some pull ups for next time and he said "you try taking care of three kids that's a big baby, and a little baby and a bad one. WTF?! I means out daughter has disabilites, that's such a effed up thing to say about your own child.
This last conversation is when he was late picking her up which is never out of the ordinary.
He said he would pick her up at 9:30am. He did not answer his phone so i texted him.
me: Crystal is all ready and getting impatient. lol (it was already about 10:08am)
Him: I just wake up
Me: Well she is mad now and hitting herself. (she knows when her daddy is coming to pick her up and is supposed to be on his way, she ready for him).
Me: I thought you said 9:30?
Him: I did not get sleep lastnight
Me: and you think I do ? lol
Him: you get more than me
Me: how is that when she is with me more than she is with you? (he has a stepson and another daughter, and maybe I am wrong but I can guarantee that his gf does more of the parenting than him, that just how he is).
me: well anyways, she is mad I am trying to keep her from undressing herself.lol. (she waits and waits but she hates to be in clothes, so she will just undress because she thinks she isn't going after all).
Him: I have a baby and i have to git up for work
Me: I'm not trying to be mean but you can't give me a time and then not come at that time, because I tell Crystal and get her ready becasue we especially her think your coming at the time you said. Ok well, just try and get here soon then. How does your work effect what you have to do today?
Him: I be there soon chill out.
Me: I won't chill out she mad and that upsets me.
Him: bring crystal something to sleep in and wear tomorrow.
and that was that! Uggghh!
Sorry if it seems everything is kind of thrown around
I am a single mother to a beautiful 8 year old little girl, her name is Crystal. She has Autism, sensory processing disorder, and she is non verbal. The only way she communicates is by using her communication device or pointing to what she wants. She has started hitting herself when frustrated so I am trying to help her find other ways to relieve her frustration instead of hitting. She is in the 2ND grade full time in the essential academics class, she is receiving speech therapy, occupational therapy. She is also receiving some outside speech therapy and ABA therapy.
Her father is some what around. Crystal's visits with him are every other weekend, Friday - Sunday. The most that she does see him is maybe twice a month, and he picks her up Saturday and brings her home Sunday(for his own reasoning, that I don't know). That's just what he prefers. He lives with his girlfriend, her son and their baby girl. He hardly sees Crystal because he has work that next week(or has work in general), or he just says he's busy has other plans,so for instance he can't pick her up this weekend because he has to work the next week.lol Or he can't get her because he's tired, most recent excuse he couldn't pick her up on Friday was because he had to go buy wrestling tickets which he ended up not picking up until Saturday(he wanted until Saturday morning to tell me that), so then he was late picking her up Saturday and Crystal was all excited, ready and waiting for him. He has never been to any of her doctor appts. *when Crystal was born with a hole in the heart that was repaired, and she has Digeorge syndrome,which is a genetic disorder, I was tested and came back negative and her father refused to be tested, or just seemed more like he made excuses to not be tested, he didn't have time, or he lost the lab slip. To this day he still has not been tested.
He has only been to a couple of her school meetings, I admit that it is mostly my fault because I don't bother to notify him about them normally when I do he either has to work or just can't. So I just gave up on even bothering to tell him. He himself never asks me about her school meetings or her doctor's appts. I mean he is just as capable of asking if she has any appts. coming up. i did mention to him that school meeting she has on the 17th at 1 pm, and he said he can't make it because he has an appt. on Tuesday at the same time. I'm like WTH?! What does that have to do with Monday's meeting? He just doesn't seem interested in educating himself about our daughter's disabilities.Whenever I do try and talk to him about it his response is "oh, ok". Sometimes I think he is in denial about everything but he would never admit it. As previously mentioned our daughter has Autism and SPD, is also non verbal. He mentioned to me once that he spanked her for playing with her poop(a couple of years ago), but if he spanked once he would probably do it again. Which I do not approve of mainly because she is a non verbal special needs child! Crystal has frequent meltdowns, she is very sensitive to noise. He had called me once and Crystal was upset in the background and while we were on the phone he told her " you need to quit crying, your almost 8 years old". I told him "she doesn't understand that!". There has been a few times where she was at his apartment and she was having her normal meltdowns(which I think he just thinks she's being trouble) he called me and said "what's wrong with Crystal?" or he will say "why she do that?", "what's wrong with her?" Well if he would educate himself he would know why she does some of the things that she does, or why they happen and how to help her.I tell him what he can do and of course he says" Oh, ok". AHHHH!! If I hear that phrase one more time.
I really feel that he is not emotionally, financially, mentally able to care for our daughter. I say finanancially because he cares for 2 other children as well as Crystal, but on his weekend with her he never seems to ever have anything there for her. He always wants me to send pull ups, or clothes, pajamas, movies, toys. Which I do for Crystal, but I feel i know she is rarely over there at his place but shouldn't he be responsible too? for having things for her.
I really want to modify the visitation schedule or terminate it as far as overnights with him. Mainly because he lives in an apartment and when she is over there with him and she is having a meltdown, crying, stomping he has said the neighbors can hear and Crystal keeps the baby awake.
I mean I really don't know how safe the environment is over there. He came by my house to see Crystal one day and brought his girlfriend's son with him (he is 7) and as they came into the house he told him to keep his mouth shut.I confronted him about it and he just kind of laughed it off and said that he always saying stupid stuff. Which that doesn't make it right! He called me upset one time because his girlfriend was upset about breaking her phone charger accidently and he called her stupid and she punched him in the face and he pushed her. I mean what the heck is going on over there?? I just feel like overnight's are not a good idea anymore because of all of that, and because of everything that Crystal is going through, and seems sometimes like he can't handle it, or being interested at all in what Crystal is going through.
I am just looking for some advice/opinions on all of this, if anyone has been through something similar. If I decide to go back t court would the judge possibly see my point in all of this and agree?
UPDATE!
I went to see my counselor, about all of this and she has said that I should get myself an attorney , basically go to court in front of the judge and the judge will most likely possibly both of us parenting classes, counseling etc. Give him supervised visitation, someone will come to the home and see how things are. Try to get him to be more invovled in her schooling, doctors appointments, therapies etc.
My counselor said that he may even just sign his rights away on his own because he will not want to take the time do all that, the classes and counseling. He does not help pay for her therapy, that I am paying out of pocket because insurance does not cover it. He gives $23 in childsupport once a week. I mean if he doesn't want to contribute money to her therapy then why would he want to pay for classes?
Even though it might seem like it , I am not doing this (going to court to change visitation/custody) to spite him at all. I feel that he is just not capable of taking care of her alone. He doesn't understand the special needs that she has. Does not want to educate himself, everytime I tell him something all he says is"oh, ok". I feel like he isn't really even listening to what I am saying.
I will give a couple of examples of what I am talking about, (the first conversation is when she was at his house overnight, and he messaged me the next morning about what happened the night before).
*he called, I didn't answer was still asleep*
Me: I just woke up, what's up?
(this is the way he spells, so people don't get confused).
him: Why u even have a phone for and u don't pick up
me: I was sleeping, anyways what's up?
him:She (our daughter) **** on herself last night
Me: poor baby, what happened?
him: she is in the bathroom
Him: I can't handle it that sick
Me: what's sick?
Him: an 8 year old carping on themself
WTH?! It's just poop! Our daughter is 8 years old and has delays and she is not fully potty trained yet. She can go when we tell her to, but she can't tell us yet when she has to go. I told him after that conversation that he didn't have to keep her overnight anymore and he ignored me on that. He then said he was going to bring her home around 3 and that he had no diapers or nothing for her. I said not even underwear? but he then saidshe had 2 pairs. I told him make sure you buy her some pull ups for next time and he said "you try taking care of three kids that's a big baby, and a little baby and a bad one. WTF?! I means out daughter has disabilites, that's such a effed up thing to say about your own child.
This last conversation is when he was late picking her up which is never out of the ordinary.
He said he would pick her up at 9:30am. He did not answer his phone so i texted him.
me: Crystal is all ready and getting impatient. lol (it was already about 10:08am)
Him: I just wake up
Me: Well she is mad now and hitting herself. (she knows when her daddy is coming to pick her up and is supposed to be on his way, she ready for him).
Me: I thought you said 9:30?
Him: I did not get sleep lastnight
Me: and you think I do ? lol
Him: you get more than me
Me: how is that when she is with me more than she is with you? (he has a stepson and another daughter, and maybe I am wrong but I can guarantee that his gf does more of the parenting than him, that just how he is).
me: well anyways, she is mad I am trying to keep her from undressing herself.lol. (she waits and waits but she hates to be in clothes, so she will just undress because she thinks she isn't going after all).
Him: I have a baby and i have to git up for work
Me: I'm not trying to be mean but you can't give me a time and then not come at that time, because I tell Crystal and get her ready becasue we especially her think your coming at the time you said. Ok well, just try and get here soon then. How does your work effect what you have to do today?
Him: I be there soon chill out.
Me: I won't chill out she mad and that upsets me.
Him: bring crystal something to sleep in and wear tomorrow.
and that was that! Uggghh!
