Termination of parental rights of a parent who is not in jail---

[AngelinaD13]

Florida

My childs father abandoned her 3 years ago. Has since moved from place to place, job to job all to avoid the courts and child support.. I have since had 1 conversation with him which was a few months ago.. since then he has again moved, changed numbers and went off the grid (so to speak)... just recently i have been in contact with a few good sources that tell me he is fleeing to England to live with his girlfriend and with that they cannot go after for child support since England doesnt cooperate with child support.. Is there any way to get his rights terminated WITHOUT having someone else adopt in his place? He has not paid a dime in the last 3 years, has not contacted us, has not seen my daughter in 3 years, nothing! He tried to sign over his rights but at the time i had no legal way to do so.. I NEED HELP!!!!! i want him legally removed from my daughters life and mine so i do not have to chase him around any longer for anything..

 

[Zigner]

Florida

My childs father abandoned her 3 years ago. Has since moved from place to place, job to job all to avoid the courts and child support.. I have since had 1 conversation with him which was a few months ago.. since then he has again moved, changed numbers and went off the grid (so to speak)... just recently i have been in contact with a few good sources that tell me he is fleeing to England to live with his girlfriend and with that they cannot go after for child support since England doesnt cooperate with child support.. Is there any way to get his rights terminated WITHOUT having someone else adopt in his place? He has not paid a dime in the last 3 years, has not contacted us, has not seen my daughter in 3 years, nothing! He tried to sign over his rights but at the time i had no legal way to do so.. I NEED HELP!!!!! i want him legally removed from my daughters life and mine so i do not have to chase him around any longer for anything..

Nothing is forcing you to chase him around.

Also, what makes you think that England doesn't cooperate? Sure, there are more steps to take and more difficulty involved...but they do cooperate.

 

[Silverplum]

Here's the law: http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0000-0099/0039/Sections/0039.806.html

 

[AngelinaD13]

Response.

Nothing is forcing you to chase him around.

Also, what makes you think that England doesn't cooperate? Sure, there are more steps to take and more difficulty involved...but they do cooperate.

Correct, nothing is "forcing" me to chase him around, however, trying to get child support and trying to do everything for my daughter legally i have had to keep up with everything (his location, his numbers, etc) I tried before to just terminate his rights and was told obviously that i could not unless someone would adopt in his place.. My fear is this: i am going to spend the next 10 years or however long it may be...raising my daughter alone...and one day he is goign to wake up and want to be a "dad" again and he is going to try and some how come back into her life... at that point i cannot protect her from him if there is no legal termination.. My daughter is 5 now...and i have been fighting this for 3 years as i said...and i just want peace... i want to be free from the ties and give him what he wants and what i want and thats him having no rights.. he told me he doesnt want rights to her..that he would sign them over... and i still with that cannot do anything..

 

[AngelinaD13]

response2

Nothing is forcing you to chase him around.

Also, what makes you think that England doesn't cooperate? Sure, there are more steps to take and more difficulty involved...but they do cooperate.

Oh, and i contacted child support this morning when i found out he was going to England and they stated that england does not cooperate and that i would need to go to the office because it was a little more extensive than just that... but that they dont deal with child support and he wont have to pay if he leaves

 

[Silverplum]

Here's the law: http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0000-0099/0039/Sections/0039.806.html

If the law doesn't work for you, work to change it. But that's what it is.

 

[SESmama]

1) Child support arrears will continue to accrue regardless of where he moves to.

2) If you don't have a parenting plan then don't go to court for one. You have the child so you have all the say so

3) If you do have a parenting plan then go to court to change it so you have sole legal custody and suspend his visitation so he will have to file to change it when/if he wants time.
A) If he does come back and wishes to spend time with the child then
1. It is a good thing
2. Tell him to file for time
3. Ask for therapy between the 2 of them until the child feels comfortable spending alone time. (Supervised for a while in child's location, then unsupervised in child's location, then maybe move to unsupervised)

You have options other than an attempt at TPR

 

[AngelinaD13]

1) Child support arrears will continue to accrue regardless of where he moves to.

2) If you don't have a parenting plan then don't go to court for one. You have the child so you have all the say so

3) If you do have a parenting plan then go to court to change it so you have sole legal custody and suspend his visitation so he will have to file to change it when/if he wants time.
A) If he does come back and wishes to spend time with the child then
1. It is a good thing
2. Tell him to file for time
3. Ask for therapy between the 2 of them until the child feels comfortable spending alone time. (Supervised for a while in child's location, then unsupervised in child's location, then maybe move to unsupervised)

You have options other than an attempt at TPR

As of right now i have sole custody; have since my divorce was finalized in 2012.. However, when/if he comes back my daughter has already grown up without him and honestly her life will be better without him. He is unstable, he needs medical help (therapy or something because he is mentally unstable) he is a thief (i have proof of that too) and i dont want my daughter around that. and i know people reading this are going to say "well you shouldn't have had a kid with someone like this then" he was not like this before... he was a good a dad at one point.. and then when he found out i was leaving to come to Florida he started stealing and lying and then when he found out i filed for divorce he completely went missing and continued to steal and lie only it got worse and more excessive.

 

[SESmama]

Then if you have sole custody why wake up the monster? Let it be. If/when he comes back asking for time tell him he needs to file and then asl for supervised until the child feels more comfortable. Don't rock the boat or spend the money if you don't have to. Spend it on the girl.

 

[Isis1]

honey, you are putting on that stress yourself. stop that.

you have sole custody. and from the sounds of it, a child support order.

there is NOTHING else you need to do.

the way you are reacting? sounds like dad knows how to push your buttons and might be just saying he's moving to England to get a rise out of you.

and yes. they can STILL get child support even if he moves out of the country. there are a few extra steps, but it can be done. let support services handle it. the order is still valid. it will not run out. so relax. dad is running from himself. let him keep that stress all to himself. stop sharing it with him.

 

[AngelinaD13]

honey, you are putting on that stress yourself. stop that.

you have sole custody. and from the sounds of it, a child support order.

there is NOTHING else you need to do.

the way you are reacting? sounds like dad knows how to push your buttons and might be just saying he's moving to England to get a rise out of you.

and yes. they can STILL get child support even if he moves out of the country. there are a few extra steps, but it can be done. let support services handle it. the order is still valid. it will not run out. so relax. dad is running from himself. let him keep that stress all to himself. stop sharing it with him.

He does all of this behind my back; he tought i wouldnt find out and i found out through a close friend and the only reason i get so upset is because i blame myself everyday that my daughter is growing up without a dad.. i blame myself for everything.. it hurts to hear her ask about why she doesnt have a dad and i have no good reasons to explain it to her.. Im a young mother.. im 23 i would give my daughter the world if i could and i would do anything to protect her and thats all i want to do.. i dont want her to get hurt later in life because i couldnt do anything to stop him from coming back and so thts why i am trying so hard to get his rights terminated that way i dont have to worry about him coming back in a few years and wanting a relationship...because at that time he wont have any legal rights to her.. because even now he can go back to court, request a modifaication and then i have to comply... and at that point i cannot protect her from him...

 

[TheGeekess]

He does all of this behind my back; he tought i wouldnt find out and i found out through a close friend and the only reason i get so upset is because i blame myself everyday that my daughter is growing up without a dad.. i blame myself for everything.. it hurts to hear her ask about why she doesnt have a dad and i have no good reasons to explain it to her.. Im a young mother.. im 23 i would give my daughter the world if i could and i would do anything to protect her and thats all i want to do.. i dont want her to get hurt later in life because i couldnt do anything to stop him from coming back and so thts why i am trying so hard to get his rights terminated that way i dont have to worry about him coming back in a few years and wanting a relationship...because at that time he wont have any legal rights to her.. because even now he can go back to court, request a modifaication and then i have to comply... and at that point i cannot protect her from him...

The state is not going to let you terminate his rights.

You need therapy to help you learn to deal with this kind of emotional roller-coaster.

 

[Silverplum]

The state is not going to let you terminate his rights.

You need therapy to help you learn to deal with this kind of emotional roller-coaster.

Or she could move to Texas.

 

[AngelinaD13]

Or she could move to Texas.

why would i move to texas

 

[Isis1]

why would i move to texas

Texas is one of the 3-4 states that actually let you terminate without having an adoptive parent on standby.

while there are standards to be met and rules to follow, it can be done.

i'm going to say something really snide.....leave it as is. if something as little as child support keeps dad from interfering....leave it open. i have no respect for anyone that avoids their child for any reason. let him run far away.