Termination of parental rights of a parent who is not in jail---

[AngelinaD13]

Texas is one of the 3-4 states that actually let you terminate without having an adoptive parent on standby.

while there are standards to be met and rules to follow, it can be done.

i'm going to say something really snide.....leave it as is. if something as little as child support keeps dad from interfering....leave it open. i have no respect for anyone that avoids their child for any reason. let him run far away.

Yes, i know that. He has another child (who go figure, he is doing the same thing to) who is in Texas and the mother has her fiance who is going to adopt in his place and will at that time have his rights terminated. I wont ever see a dime from a him... he is making it his JOB to avoid paying for his child...and i agree with you 100%.... i have no respect and i have no feelings towards any parent (mom or dad) who lets anything, especially money, interfer with the relationship. I am not a money hungry ex who is just after to ruin his life either.. I wanted them to have a relationship.. and initlaly had told him i wont go for child support just be in our daughters life thats it... and the more he ran and avoided his resposnabilites as a father, the more hurt i got and the more angry i became because of it...and now i dont care if i ruin his life by filing child support... if he doesnt pay and goes to jail for it thats his problem at this point

 

[Silverplum]

Yes, i know that. He has another child (who go figure, he is doing the same thing to) who is in Texas and the mother has her fiance who is going to adopt in his place and will at that time have his rights terminated. I wont ever see a dime from a him... he is making it his JOB to avoid paying for his child...and i agree with you 100%.... i have no respect and i have no feelings towards any parent (mom or dad) who lets anything, especially money, interfer with the relationship. I am not a money hungry ex who is just after to ruin his life either.. I wanted them to have a relationship.. and initlaly had told him i wont go for child support just be in our daughters life thats it... and the more he ran and avoided his resposnabilites as a father, the more hurt i got and the more angry i became because of it...and now i dont care if i ruin his life by filing child support... if he doesnt pay and goes to jail for it thats his problem at this point

Yes, well, your legal question has been thoroughly answered.

 

[Isis1]

Yes, i know that. He has another child (who go figure, he is doing the same thing to) who is in Texas and the mother has her fiance who is going to adopt in his place and will at that time have his rights terminated. I wont ever see a dime from a him... he is making it his JOB to avoid paying for his child...and i agree with you 100%.... i have no respect and i have no feelings towards any parent (mom or dad) who lets anything, especially money, interfer with the relationship. I am not a money hungry ex who is just after to ruin his life either.. I wanted them to have a relationship.. and initlaly had told him i wont go for child support just be in our daughters life thats it... and the more he ran and avoided his resposnabilites as a father, the more hurt i got and the more angry i became because of it...and now i dont care if i ruin his life by filing child support... if he doesnt pay and goes to jail for it thats his problem at this point

just keep in mind...some day, your daughter might hunt him down. and actually have a reasonable relationship with him as a grownup. don't take it personal.

you aren't ruining his life. so you need to let that go. he's ruining his life. don't take responsibility for that.

 

[Zigner]

just keep in mind...some day, your daughter might hunt him down. and actually have a reasonable relationship with him as a grownup. don't take it personal.

Or may come to realize what kind of man he is all on her own. That's what happened with my kids upon getting to know their mother after more than a decade of abandonment.

you aren't ruining his life. so you need to let that go. he's ruining his life. don't take responsibility for that.

I totally agree.

 

[Just Blue]

Texas is one of the 3-4 states that actually let you terminate without having an adoptive parent on standby.

while there are standards to be met and rules to follow, it can be done.

i'm going to say something really snide.....leave it as is. if something as little as child support keeps dad from interfering....leave it open. i have no respect for anyone that avoids their child for any reason. let him run far away.

That is not "snide" at all. It's commonsenceical...Did I just invent a new word???

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Let me give you another angle here:

Further, there is no statute of limitations on the enforcement of child support and child support arrears. Therefore, child support can be enforced after the children emancipate, and even against the estate of the obligor after the death of the obligor.

The one exception to the rule that child support arrears can be enforced at any time arises when the obligor can prove laches or equitable estoppel. This means that the obligor must show that he or she had a reasonable belief that the other parent would not seek to enforce the child support arrears and that the obligor parent would be harmed should the other parent enforce the arrears. This can frequently be proven where the parents entered into an oral agreement reducing the obligor parent's child support obligation or exchanging items such as a vehicle or payment of certain expenses for the child in lieu of payment of child support.

Basically, continue to make an effort to collect the child support. Mail CRRR letters to his last known address demanding child support. When they come back, keep them in a safe place unopened. Eventually he'll come back - or think he'll collect social security. THAT can be garnished for back support.

 

[Proserpina]

Since when has England refused to enforce a valid US child support order? REMO and all that?

http://london.usembassy.gov/cons_new/acs/child_support_enforcement.html

 

[stealth2]

At the end of it all, you're tilting at windmills - let it go. Yes, one day he may grow up and decide he's ready to be a father. Which may turn out to be a good thing. One day, your daughter may decide she wants to find him/try to get to know him. You won't be able to do much to stop that.

As for what to tell her when she wants to know why she doesn't have a Daddy? She does have one, but he felt he wasn't ready to be the Daddy she deserves. Hopefully, he will be. One day. In the meantime, find good male role models - what family do you have? Good friends who are male? Enlist your Dad, brothers, uncles, etc. to help. Teach her stuff, spend time with her, etc.

 

[AngelinaD13]

At the end of it all, you're tilting at windmills - let it go. Yes, one day he may grow up and decide he's ready to be a father. Which may turn out to be a good thing. One day, your daughter may decide she wants to find him/try to get to know him. You won't be able to do much to stop that.

As for what to tell her when she wants to know why she doesn't have a Daddy? She does have one, but he felt he wasn't ready to be the Daddy she deserves. Hopefully, he will be. One day. In the meantime, find good male role models - what family do you have? Good friends who are male? Enlist your Dad, brothers, uncles, etc. to help. Teach her stuff, spend time with her, etc.

Right and believe me i know i cannot protect her for forever even if i tried and i know that when she is older she has every right to seek him out and find out for herself the type of person he is.. Which is why no matter what, i will NEVER talk bad about him to her or around her.. regardless of how much i despise him.. i never want my child to grow up and know that i spoke badly about him and put those impressions in her mind.. she has to find that out on her own which she will... regardless of its just growing up without him and making that choice or eventually meeting him and making that choice..
My daughter has such a good male support system.. i was very lucky to grow up with two older brothers and now i have two step brothers all of which love her more than i can begin to express and i am so grateful that she at least has them to turn to if needed.

 

[AngelinaD13]

Since when has England refused to enforce a valid US child support order? REMO and all that?

http://london.usembassy.gov/cons_new/acs/child_support_enforcement.html

This is just what i heard. When i spoke with my local child support office they stated that because they could not find him since my divorce no amount was placed for support..and now that he is leaving to England they can still finish the case with establishing support but she stated that England does not cooperate with the support and that they dont garnish wages for support here... so even if he got a job over there they wouldnt garnish his wages... That is what i was told when this was all discussed with the case worker..

 

[torimac]

I wont ever see a dime from a him... he is making it his JOB to avoid paying for his child...and i agree with you 100%.... i have no respect and i have no feelings towards any parent (mom or dad) who lets anything, especially money, interfer with the relationship.

I have only half jokingly tell my ex that his social security will pay part of my retirement when we are 70 as he refuses to pay child support now. As he will not work a regular job (which he did for his first 20 adult years), it can be garnished from his social security if he refuses to pay. Keep the account active-call regularly to ask for enforcement and you may eventually get the child support.

 

[AngelinaD13]

Since when has England refused to enforce a valid US child support order? REMO and all that?

http://london.usembassy.gov/cons_new/acs/child_support_enforcement.html

Thanks for this!!!! This is going to be a big help! thank you thank you thank you!

 

[AngelinaD13]

Or may come to realize what kind of man he is all on her own. That's what happened with my kids upon getting to know their mother after more than a decade of abandonment.


I totally agree.

If i may, how did you deal with raising your children on your own as a single parent? I mean what did you tell them about as to why their mom wasnt around and how did they handle things? I am just curious because I would like more insight as to what to expect when she is older and a different way of handling things maybe?

 

[Zigner]

If i may, how did you deal with raising your children on your own as a single parent? I mean what did you tell them about as to why their mom wasnt around and how did they handle things? I am just curious because I would like more insight as to what to expect when she is older and a different way of handling things maybe?

I didn't sugar-coat it, nor did I embellish. When they were younger, I told them that their mother loved them but was having a hard time in her life and couldn't be with them. I also had the good fortune to marry a wonderful woman who was able to step up in the "mom" role. They all knew she wasn't mom, although, the youngest didn't find that out until he was five or six years old and he found out in a not-so-good way. He used to think my wife was his mother - I always had intended to tell him "when he was old enough" but he found out before that time came around. That's why I now suggest that one be completely up-front with a child on this type of matter. I hope others can learn from the problems that my son had because I lied to him. I now know that it's wrong.

 

[AngelinaD13]

I didn't sugar-coat it, nor did I embellish. When they were younger, I told them that their mother loved them but was having a hard time in her life and couldn't be with them. I also had the good fortune to marry a wonderful woman who was able to step up in the "mom" role. They all knew she wasn't mom, although, the youngest didn't find that out until he was five or six years old and he found out in a not-so-good way. He used to think my wife was his mother - I always had intended to tell him "when he was old enough" but he found out before that time came around. That's why I now suggest that one be completely up-front with a child on this type of matter. I hope others can learn from the problems that my son had because I lied to him. I now know that it's wrong.

Thank you for this- i dont bring him up or even mention him to her (for obvious reasons) but i know that the time will come and she is already asking every now and then and my response is always "he had to go away for a little while".. thanks again for sharing this with me.