Basic questions about custody law

[francero]

Hi
I just moved to washington state with my wife and son. We will be getting an amicable divorce here but we will stay living on the same property because we are co-parenting our 1 year old. I have reasons to distrust my wife though so there are a few basic legal facts I would like to get straight: Is a mother allowed to leave the state with the child without permission of the father or is that considered child abduction? Generally, what are the laws limiting travel with an infant against the will of on of their parent? I am sure I am not allowed to limit her from traveling within the city with our child but out of county, state or country? Any info is appreciated.

Also, what power do I have to limit the exposure of my child to a friend of my wife’s who I find harmful for my child to be around because of her repulsive and unsafe conduct. Nothing bad ever happened but I have a strong opposition to this person being around my child. Is there a simple way for me limit her from exposing my child to that person or could this only be achieved via a court case in which I had to prove what is so harmful about that person?

Thank you much for your advice. I truly appreciate it.

 

[Proserpina]

Hi
I just moved to washington state with my wife and son. We will be getting an amicable divorce here but we will stay living on the same property because we are co-parenting our 1 year old. I have reasons to distrust my wife though so there are a few basic legal facts I would like to get straight: Is a mother allowed to leave the state with the child without permission of the father or is that considered child abduction? Generally, what are the laws limiting travel with an infant against the will of on of their parent? I am sure I am not allowed to limit her from traveling within the city with our child but out of county, state or country? Any info is appreciated.

You can't limit her at all. She is free to take your mutual child wherever she wants. Just as you are. The court really isn't going to restrict travel even after the divorce, unless there's actual proof that she's a flight risk.

Also, what power do I have to limit the exposure of my child to a friend of my wife’s who I find harmful for my child to be around because of her repulsive and unsafe conduct. Nothing bad ever happened but I have a strong opposition to this person being around my child. Is there a simple way for me limit her from exposing my child to that person or could this only be achieved via a court case in which I had to prove what is so harmful about that person?

Thank you much for your advice. I truly appreciate it.

You and your wife are expected to keep the child safe. This means that neither of you can limit the other parent's choice of friends, acquaintances and yes, even new relationships. You would have to prove - and I do mean prove - that this person represents a threat to your child.

 

[LdiJ]

Hi
I just moved to washington state with my wife and son. We will be getting an amicable divorce here but we will stay living on the same property because we are co-parenting our 1 year old. I have reasons to distrust my wife though so there are a few basic legal facts I would like to get straight: Is a mother allowed to leave the state with the child without permission of the father or is that considered child abduction? Generally, what are the laws limiting travel with an infant against the will of on of their parent? I am sure I am not allowed to limit her from traveling within the city with our child but out of county, state or country? Any info is appreciated.

Also, what power do I have to limit the exposure of my child to a friend of my wife’s who I find harmful for my child to be around because of her repulsive and unsafe conduct. Nothing bad ever happened but I have a strong opposition to this person being around my child. Is there a simple way for me limit her from exposing my child to that person or could this only be achieved via a court case in which I had to prove what is so harmful about that person?

Thank you much for your advice. I truly appreciate it.

No judge is going to give you the power to control mom traveling with the child for visits and vacations etc. Same thing with who the child is around. You have zero power to control either of those things prior to a divorce, and about zero chance that a judge would give you that power as part of the divorce.

Also, realistically, don't expect that you and mom will continue to live on the same property for the long term. You don't need to do so to successfully co-parent, and you will both need more privacy than that in the long term.

 

[francero]

difference between travel and living somewhere

Thank you for your replies. So is she allowed to move to another state if she wants to? Surely that cannot be legal and I cannot be expected as a father to give up my life and move to another state just to be around my child.

Also, what defines travel vs. living somewhere. If she travels out of state and stays there for let's say 80% of the time I would argue it is not travel but that she lives there.

Thank you

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you for your replies. So is she allowed to move to another state if she wants to? Surely that cannot be legal and I cannot be expected as a father to give up my life and move to another state just to be around my child.

Also, what defines travel vs. living somewhere. If she travels out of state and stays there for let's say 80% of the time I would argue it is not travel but that she lives there.

Thank you

You said travel. You made absolutely no mention of relocation.

But since we're here... Washington is relocation-friendly. In other words, the burden is on the non relocating parent to prove that the relocation is not in the best interests of the child.

 

[SESmama]

The ever important question, WHO is the primary caretaker?

 

[Zigner]

The OP says he JUST moved to Washington State. It is quite possible that the mom could move back to the home state with the child and that state would have jurisdiction.

 

[Proserpina]

The OP says he JUST moved to Washington State. It is quite possible that the mom could move back to the home state with the child and that state would have jurisdiction.

Very true - in which case it's sort of "tough luck" for Dad.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for your replies. So is she allowed to move to another state if she wants to? Surely that cannot be legal and I cannot be expected as a father to give up my life and move to another state just to be around my child.

Also, what defines travel vs. living somewhere. If she travels out of state and stays there for let's say 80% of the time I would argue it is not travel but that she lives there.

Thank you

In this instance, since you only recently moved to WA, its quite possible that mom could move back to the previous state with your mutual child without any problem at all...jurisdiction or "home state" isn't necessarily about where you are at a specific time.

If you are not willing to spell out your history here, then it would be in your best interest to consult an attorney.

 

[CJane]

I'm curious how you're going to pull off an amicable divorce when you so obviously want to control life's minutiae... and why you said you're going to live on the same property, but now think Mom might live in another state 80% of the time.

 

[Just Blue]

I'm curious how you're going to pull off an amicable divorce when you so obviously want to control life's minutiae... and why you said you're going to live on the same property, but now think Mom might live in another state 80% of the time.

I very rarely agree with CJ...But yeah...OP you come off as total control freak.

 

[francero]

more details

I have no problem spelling out my life. We were married 2 years ago. Our child is 1 1/2. we are moving to wash state after having lived in New Mexico for 2 years. There won't be any problem the first 6 months or even a year. Thereafter I don't know what my wife would do if she wants to go back (which is not the plan). For me it is absolutely impossible to move back New Mexico due to the high elevation and heat which is intolerable for me. The reason why I am asking all this questions is just to be prepared and to know. I dont doubt what the posters are saying yet I find it very hard to believe that someone could just move to another state without having to have the permission of the other parent and in the process potentially ruining there life (like if they have a business setup).

Also, if the father has the same right that doesn't make any sense. She is allowed to move to another state and I am allowed to stay in this state with the child? what's that supposed to mean?

The is no primary parent of the child. To be honest I don't even know what that means.

We are planning to get a divorce in the next few months but I have no idea if legal decisions about children are part of the divorce (in case we both woudl argue to be the primary parent) nor do I know if children are even mentioned in a divorce. Also, we never got married in the US only in Europe, if that makes a difference.

Again, thank you much for your input

 

[CJane]

It makes no difference where you obtained your marriage.

Yes, custody matters are determined during the divorce process. And while a 50/50 timeshare is POSSIBLE, it is nowhere near STANDARD or even very common, still. Generally speaking, one parent provides for the majority of the day to day needs of the child, and that parent is considered the "primary caregiver". That doesn't give that parent a slam-dunk at custody, but it does provide them with an "edge" in the custody process, because the courts prefer to keep a child's life as close to normal as possible when deciding custody.

WA is a state with a presumption IN FAVOR of relocation. That means, IF Mom has primary custody (a majority of the timeshare), and wishes to move somewhere other than Washington at some point after the divorce, you would have to petition the court to prevent the relocation and then PROVE that it is NOT in the child's best interests to relocate. That is more difficult than you imagine.

Because you're so obviously clueless about this process, you really need to retain attorneys. Otherwise, you risk creating a situation with much more hardship and strife than is absolutely necessary.

 

[Proserpina]

I have no problem spelling out my life. We were married 2 years ago. Our child is 1 1/2. we are moving to wash state after having lived in New Mexico for 2 years. There won't be any problem the first 6 months or even a year. Thereafter I don't know what my wife would do if she wants to go back (which is not the plan). For me it is absolutely impossible to move back New Mexico due to the high elevation and heat which is intolerable for me. The reason why I am asking all this questions is just to be prepared and to know. I dont doubt what the posters are saying yet I find it very hard to believe that someone could just move to another state without having to have the permission of the other parent and in the process potentially ruining there life (like if they have a business setup).

When did you move from New Mexico?

If it's only been a couple of months and Mom moves very soon, she will be allowed to do so. If it's been more than 6 months since you moved to WA, then Washington has jurisdiction but this doesn't help you at all - WA is pro-relocation, meaning you'd have to convince the court that the relocation is not in the child's best interest.

Also, if the father has the same right that doesn't make any sense. She is allowed to move to another state and I am allowed to stay in this state with the child? what's that supposed to mean?

I understand your frustration but unfortunately this happens everywhere.

The is no primary parent of the child. To be honest I don't even know what that means.

We are planning to get a divorce in the next few months but I have no idea if legal decisions about children are part of the divorce (in case we both woudl argue to be the primary parent) nor do I know if children are even mentioned in a divorce. Also, we never got married in the US only in Europe, if that makes a difference.

Again, thank you much for your input[/QUOTE]

 

[CJane]

When did you move from New Mexico?

I actually wonder if they've moved yet. In one post it sounds like they have, but in the most recent one it sounds like they're planning to move.