Once the attorney files the divorce on a contested proceeding, what's the time frame?

[erniecolorado1]

Henderson, Colorado, Adams County. We are selling the house and then filing the divorce so the house does not show up as debt and marital property. I do not want to be living with him when I file the divorce because there will be a possible dispute. I am going to have two of my friends from work show up when I tell him I am leaving him and he is being served the divorce papers that the attorney will file once I retain her. I am pretty sure it will be a contested divorce that will go to court, and I will want sole custody of our son Max. Obviously over 13 years the marriage has been broken and there has been adultery and total disregard for my well being in this marriage. It is way overdue. I need to know the approximate time in your experience, considering the state laws I live in and procedures, it will take from start to finish and what I can expect overall? I appreciate all the help. I know he cannot refuse the divorce even if it is contested. I know the judge will award the divorce, but I am just wanting to make this as stress free as possible.

I also want to know what the laws are if I were to date someone else before the divorce is filed and finished, even if there was no sex. I know in some states there can be stipulations and difference even if this is not a big deal. This man I am wanting to divorce has some serious issues, so he might see this as the guy is stealing me away from him, which is not the case.

I wanted to divorce him many years ago, but being that he is a controlling man, and that family on both sides made me feel guilty for even wanting to leave him, it becomes mentally abusive like I am in a prison. We have not even had sex or kissed in over ten years after I found out what he did and was doing with another woman

And even to this day I know he does it, suspicions or not. His behavior is not becoming of a loving and respectful spouse at all. I am done with him. We still live in this house until it is sold. He doesn't know I am going to divorce him yet because I don't want the backlash and uncomfortable problems being in the same house, which is why I want it sold first to get it out from under my name and credit.

What are your professional and experience thoughts in all of this? A lawyer cannot continue to talk until we retain her, so that is why I am here to pre-educate myself in all things before I go into this. Thank you!

 

[stealth2]

No one can give you an expected time frame. I would expect six months on up - 18 mos, three plus years? If he doesn't want it, he *could* drag it out. Is he willing to sell the house? you realize that the proceeds will be marital assets thast will figure into the settlement, right? There really is no way to pretend it just doesn't exist.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Ernie, you ought to have your lady friend sign up if she wants information or advice.

 

[erniecolorado1]

I am doing this

Ernie, you ought to have your lady friend sign up if she wants information or advice.

I am doing this for her. She has been through enough

 

[erniecolorado1]

No one can give you an expected time frame. I would expect six months on up - 18 mos, three plus years? If he doesn't want it, he *could* drag it out. Is he willing to sell the house? you realize that the proceeds will be marital assets thast will figure into the settlement, right? There really is no way to pretend it just doesn't exist.

Of course the house is being sold BEFORE she applied for the divorce. That is an obvious mess she will avoid. She does not care about him at all and wants that marital property gone. You never want to have that in a divorce. It will drag out longer. Of course it is not going to take that long we feel because there is not much he can really do since she is the victim and he is the one being filed AGAINST. What is he going to say but more lies that are not going to be taken seriously at all. She has a GOOD lawyer of 31 years experience. Trust me on this, scumbags like him are not going to get away with this any longer when she has friends like me.

 

[Just Blue]

I am doing this for her. She has been through enough

You actually need to step back and allow her to deal with HER LEGAL issues.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Normally, I'm not completely against third parties asking questions; but, in this case, I am. You don't know what you're talking about, and if she's relying on you for advice, she's in for a rough ride.

 

[Proserpina]

Of course the house is being sold BEFORE she applied for the divorce. That is an obvious mess she will avoid. She does not care about him at all and wants that marital property gone. You never want to have that in a divorce. It will drag out longer. Of course it is not going to take that long we feel because there is not much he can really do since she is the victim and he is the one being filed AGAINST. What is he going to say but more lies that are not going to be taken seriously at all. She has a GOOD lawyer of 31 years experience. Trust me on this, scumbags like him are not going to get away with this any longer when she has friends like me.

Whatever gave you the idea that you have any say here?

Careful, Ernie. Your charming little statement might be seen as a threat.

Know your place. And tell Mommy Dearest to expect some form of joint custody.

 

[Ladyback1]

Of course the house is being sold BEFORE she applied for the divorce. That is an obvious mess she will avoid. She does not care about him at all and wants that marital property gone. You never want to have that in a divorce. It will drag out longer. Of course it is not going to take that long we feel because there is not much he can really do since she is the victim and he is the one being filed AGAINST. What is he going to say but more lies that are not going to be taken seriously at all. She has a GOOD lawyer of 31 years experience. Trust me on this, scumbags like him are not going to get away with this any longer when she has friends like me.

Dude....you haven't a clue what the court will take seriously (as far as statements). AND....you have no idea what the judge will say/do/"award".

While I am sure you are a great "friend", you need to step back and allow your "friend" to deal with this (which, in case you don't realize--is one of the best ways for your "friend" to work through a ton of emotional and mental baggage).

Furthermore, with you taking over the process for your "friend"? Looks like she is going from one controlling POS to another controlling POS.

 

[Silverplum]

Dream on, ernie.

Custody in Colorado starts at a presumption of 50/50. There's no reason for your current piece to get "full custody."

(hahahaha! )

 

[Silverplum]

A pack of lies, with every "I."

Henderson, Colorado, Adams County. We are selling the house and then filing the divorce so the house does not show up as debt and marital property. I do not want to be living with him when I file the divorce because there will be a possible dispute. I am going to have two of my friends from work show up when I tell him I am leaving him and he is being served the divorce papers that the attorney will file once I retain her. I am pretty sure it will be a contested divorce that will go to court, and I will want sole custody of our son Max. Obviously over 13 years the marriage has been broken and there has been adultery and total disregard for my well being in this marriage. It is way overdue. I need to know the approximate time in your experience, considering the state laws I live in and procedures, it will take from start to finish and what I can expect overall? I appreciate all the help. I know he cannot refuse the divorce even if it is contested. I know the judge will award the divorce, but I am just wanting to make this as stress free as possible.

I also want to know what the laws are if I were to date someone else before the divorce is filed and finished, even if there was no sex. I know in some states there can be stipulations and difference even if this is not a big deal. This man I am wanting to divorce has some serious issues, so he might see this as the guy is stealing me away from him, which is not the case.

I wanted to divorce him many years ago, but being that he is a controlling man, and that family on both sides made me feel guilty for even wanting to leave him, it becomes mentally abusive like I am in a prison. We have not even had sex or kissed in over ten years after I found out what he did and was doing with another woman

And even to this day I know he does it, suspicions or not. His behavior is not becoming of a loving and respectful spouse at all. I am done with him. We still live in this house until it is sold. He doesn't know I am going to divorce him yet because I don't want the backlash and uncomfortable problems being in the same house, which is why I want it sold first to get it out from under my name and credit.

What are your professional and experience thoughts in all of this? A lawyer cannot continue to talk until we retain her, so that is why I am here to pre-educate myself in all things before I go into this. Thank you!

 

[stealth2]

Ernie, you ought to have your lady friend sign up if she wants information or advice.

Good Catch.

 

[erniecolorado1]

This is not the column I was looking for

None of you ever asked if I have actually talked with legal counsel. I actually have and asked all of these questions. I came to this website hoping to get RESPECTFUL, HONEST, DISCERNING and PROFESSIONAL responses as seeing what others actually think and do. Now I know why the divorce problem is so bad in America. I talked to an attorney who deals with Colorado Family and Divorce Law. It is her job to be aggressive and go after scumbags who cheat on their spouses and who are dishonorable to their children as one part of her fights. That is what she is paid to do. I would think after 31 years she would not still be in business and come highly recommended if she did not know what she was doing. And maybe the lady wants to be with me. I know her soon to be ex-husband doesn't care where she goes and when she comes home. Until you know the fully story, please don't make rude statements and snap judgments. You have no idea of what I know, who I am and the people I have come into contact with. But I am not going to waste my time with all of that. I am sorry I came here. You are the wrong people to be talking to and very mean-spirited, and not very bright when it comes to having common sense and taking the time to know every person's situation. The law also states you cannot force someone to stay with you. Once she files, no matter what happens in between, it is OVER, period, and that is a fact. If you knew this man you would not want her son to be with him either. That is also the point. I wish you all the best. I am not returning here. You people to seriously get some help and lessons on tact and how to talk to people. You all act worse than children.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Well....HARRUMPH! I think I was quite polite. And correct. Then again, maybe her husband is a member of the Illuminati. That will surely sway the judge.

 

[Proserpina]

None of you ever asked if I have actually talked with legal counsel. I actually have and asked all of these questions. I came to this website hoping to get RESPECTFUL, HONEST, DISCERNING and PROFESSIONAL responses as seeing what others actually think and do. Now I know why the divorce problem is so bad in America. I talked to an attorney who deals with Colorado Family and Divorce Law. It is her job to be aggressive and go after scumbags who cheat on their spouses and who are dishonorable to their children as one part of her fights.

Well, given what you told us, you're either gravely misunderstanding or you need to hire your "friend" a different attorney.

Parents are allowed to be dishonorable jerks. Parents are also allowed to be cheats. Do you not find it a smidge hypocritical to complain about Dad's cheating ways when the first post you made asked if it was okay with that. Goose, gander.

That is what she is paid to do. I would think after 31 years she would not still be in business and come highly recommended if she did not know what she was doing. And maybe the lady wants to be with me. I know her soon to be ex-husband doesn't care where she goes and when she comes home. Until you know the fully story, please don't make rude statements and snap judgments. You have no idea of what I know, who I am and the people I have come into contact with.

You came across as a controlling twit - do you seriously not understand why we'd think that? Really? Even though there's a huge red flag flying above your head?

But I am not going to waste my time with all of that. I am sorry I came here. You are the wrong people to be talking to and very mean-spirited, and not very bright when it comes to having common sense and taking the time to know every person's situation. The law also states you cannot force someone to stay with you. Once she files, no matter what happens in between, it is OVER, period, and that is a fact. If you knew this man you would not want her son to be with him either. That is also the point. I wish you all the best. I am not returning here. You people to seriously get some help and lessons on tact and how to talk to people. You all act worse than children.

Your problem is that you have no understanding on how this all works. Do you think that him being a cheating jerk somehow translates to Dad having no rights?

Do you understand how you can negatively impact HER chances at custody? Look at what you wrote:

trust me on this, scumbags like him are not going to get away with this any longer when she has friends like me.

And you wonder why you weren't welcomed here with little fluffy bunnies and unicorn glitter to welcome you?

You need anger management and quite honestly she needs to get herself away from you.

The end.