Medical Records - HIPPA

[bham]

Hi, I'm in Birmingham, Alabama. I've been divorced 4 years but my X for the second time in 2 years has served me papers loaded with false accusations. I haven't caved with my NEW by the "book" lawyer. I've been told by 3 different "shrinks" that my X is a mess. At this point, because of the false allegations, smearing in the community, parental alienation she writes in emails and acts on in person, and all her contempts I'm not going to settle like last time. My lawyer says it's all baseless, and the Judge will toss it probably and not even hear it. We don't need depositions...there's no evidence to support any of her claims. My response to that was "it'll never stop. I need to get her in front of the Judge. She's a mess, and can't hold up on the stand, the Judge will see she's a mess." So I said lets get her medical records from this shrink went to together. Ok my lawyer says. He sends notice to her lawyer and now she wants to drop it. I'm not dropping it and my question is what's the best route to get her medical records. My lawyer says we need a witness...so I said my wife has seen irratational behavior, and the shrinks she and I met with are witnesses. I also have crazy emails about my 6 year old wanting a lawyer, then it was she wanted to talk to the judge....bla bla bla I have voice recording where as the child as young as 5 is discussing custody changes with me...I mean I have a lot of stuf that in my mind is screwing with the childs mind. My lawyer talks of physical abuse and says mental is real tough to prove or you can prove but is it really going to impact the child? My lawyer says if we don't go for custody, then there's no basis for change...even though she's accusing me of this and that the Judge still won't have to rule on ME wanting to change custody. I would like to see her medical records and then decide if I should go for custody. I have 40% now, great wife and a true sibling so it's a good situation or at least not one not to talk about. Any advice....? Ideally, I want her on the stand so the judge can see how screwed up she is, then hopefully the judge will ask why I"m not going for custody... any ideas I can feed my lawyer?

 

[LdiJ]

Hi, I'm in Birmingham, Alabama. I've been divorced 4 years but my X for the second time in 2 years has served me papers loaded with false accusations. I haven't caved with my NEW by the "book" lawyer. I've been told by 3 different "shrinks" that my X is a mess. At this point, because of the false allegations, smearing in the community, parental alienation she writes in emails and acts on in person, and all her contempts I'm not going to settle like last time. My lawyer says it's all baseless, and the Judge will toss it probably and not even hear it. We don't need depositions...there's no evidence to support any of her claims. My response to that was "it'll never stop. I need to get her in front of the Judge. She's a mess, and can't hold up on the stand, the Judge will see she's a mess." So I said lets get her medical records from this shrink went to together. Ok my lawyer says. He sends notice to her lawyer and now she wants to drop it. I'm not dropping it and my question is what's the best route to get her medical records. My lawyer says we need a witness...so I said my wife has seen irratational behavior, and the shrinks she and I met with are witnesses. I also have crazy emails about my 6 year old wanting a lawyer, then it was she wanted to talk to the judge....bla bla bla I have voice recording where as the child as young as 5 is discussing custody changes with me...I mean I have a lot of stuf that in my mind is screwing with the childs mind. My lawyer talks of physical abuse and says mental is real tough to prove or you can prove but is it really going to impact the child? My lawyer says if we don't go for custody, then there's no basis for change...even though she's accusing me of this and that the Judge still won't have to rule on ME wanting to change custody. I would like to see her medical records and then decide if I should go for custody. I have 40% now, great wife and a true sibling so it's a good situation or at least not one not to talk about. Any advice....? Ideally, I want her on the stand so the judge can see how screwed up she is, then hopefully the judge will ask why I"m not going for custody... any ideas I can feed my lawyer?

If you haven't filed a counter suit and she drops her case, then you have zero basis to ask for her medical records. On top of that, if she refuses to cooperate, then you would have to convince a judge that there was enough valid reason to make it necessary for her to produce those medical records...because the judge would be violating her medical privacy rights, and needs to be convinced that there is just cause to do so under the law.

So no, you are not going to be able to go on a fishing expedition to get to see mom's medical records in order to decide whether or not to file for custody. You are going to have to either let the case drop, or commit to filing for custody with the understanding that you may never get those medical records.

 

[Proserpina]

Hi, I'm in Birmingham, Alabama. I've been divorced 4 years but my X for the second time in 2 years has served me papers loaded with false accusations. I haven't caved with my NEW by the "book" lawyer. I've been told by 3 different "shrinks" that my X is a mess.

I'm not aware of this diagnosis "is a mess".

At this point, because of the false allegations, smearing in the community, parental alienation she writes in emails and acts on in person, and all her contempts I'm not going to settle like last time.

You do realize that you won't be making that decision, yes?

My lawyer says it's all baseless, and the Judge will toss it probably and not even hear it. We don't need depositions...there's no evidence to support any of her claims. My response to that was "it'll never stop. I need to get her in front of the Judge. She's a mess, and can't hold up on the stand, the Judge will see she's a mess." So I said lets get her medical records from this shrink went to together. Ok my lawyer says. He sends notice to her lawyer and now she wants to drop it. I'm not dropping it and my question is what's the best route to get her medical records. My lawyer says we need a witness...so I said my wife has seen irratational behavior, and the shrinks she and I met with are witnesses. I also have crazy emails about my 6 year old wanting a lawyer, then it was she wanted to talk to the judge....bla bla bla I have voice recording where as the child as young as 5 is discussing custody changes with me...I mean I have a lot of stuf that in my mind is screwing with the childs mind. My lawyer talks of physical abuse and says mental is real tough to prove or you can prove but is it really going to impact the child? My lawyer says if we don't go for custody, then there's no basis for change...even though she's accusing me of this and that the Judge still won't have to rule on ME wanting to change custody. I would like to see her medical records and then decide if I should go for custody. I have 40% now, great wife and a true sibling so it's a good situation or at least not one not to talk about. Any advice....? Ideally, I want her on the stand so the judge can see how screwed up she is, then hopefully the judge will ask why I"m not going for custody... any ideas I can feed my lawyer?

Yeap. More money.

Your attorney seems to be the smart one. Listen to him.

Let me ask you something though. What makes you think you are qualified to interpret medical records?

 

[Zigner]

Hi, I'm in Birmingham, Alabama. I've been divorced 4 years but my X for the second time in 2 years has served me papers loaded with false accusations. I haven't caved with my NEW by the "book" lawyer. I've been told by 3 different "shrinks" that my X is a mess. At this point, because of the false allegations, smearing in the community, parental alienation she writes in emails and acts on in person, and all her contempts I'm not going to settle like last time. My lawyer says it's all baseless, and the Judge will toss it probably and not even hear it. We don't need depositions...there's no evidence to support any of her claims. My response to that was "it'll never stop. I need to get her in front of the Judge. She's a mess, and can't hold up on the stand, the Judge will see she's a mess." So I said lets get her medical records from this shrink went to together. Ok my lawyer says. He sends notice to her lawyer and now she wants to drop it. I'm not dropping it and my question is what's the best route to get her medical records. My lawyer says we need a witness...so I said my wife has seen irratational behavior, and the shrinks she and I met with are witnesses. I also have crazy emails about my 6 year old wanting a lawyer, then it was she wanted to talk to the judge....bla bla bla I have voice recording where as the child as young as 5 is discussing custody changes with me...I mean I have a lot of stuf that in my mind is screwing with the childs mind. My lawyer talks of physical abuse and says mental is real tough to prove or you can prove but is it really going to impact the child? My lawyer says if we don't go for custody, then there's no basis for change...even though she's accusing me of this and that the Judge still won't have to rule on ME wanting to change custody. I would like to see her medical records and then decide if I should go for custody. I have 40% now, great wife and a true sibling so it's a good situation or at least not one not to talk about. Any advice....? Ideally, I want her on the stand so the judge can see how screwed up she is, then hopefully the judge will ask why I"m not going for custody... any ideas I can feed my lawyer?

You're not entitled to her medical records.

Why would you want a bunch of random strangers on the internet "feeding ideas" to your attorney? Listen to your attorney.

 

[Silverplum]

I have 40% now, great wife and a true sibling so it's a good situation or at least not one not to talk about.

Oh.

What's a "true" sibling?

 

[bham]

One of the hardest things I have had to do is ask myself why our marriage did not work. Throughout our marriage I asked myself what you could have done differently. Outside of our marriage, I took that therapists advice to heart and thought about what I could do differently. I am deeply sorry for not treating you with the respect you deserve. We both deserve to be treated with respect and feel good in our own home. Irrelevant of what I thought you should or should not have done, I did not awaken to the truth that I had a role in our misery and the anger, bitterness, and frustration I felt. I understand now that my running to divorce as a solution when things between us wasn’t working was a betrayal of our commitment in marriage and a betrayal to you personally. I am sorry that our marriage was the price for my learning that life is riddled with inequities, that the only person you can control is yourself, and that marriage is a commitment where we are supposed to grow together. You once said it is about integrity, character and commitment. You are right. I am not going to expend energy on fighting with you, rather my focus is being a good parent with you for Kathy. I am rising above us and focusing on our daughter. That is why I withdrew. I am not devaluing your pain and suffering. I have seen the toll our fighting has taken on our daughter and I recognize that this is not about winning or losing, it is about Kathy and the daughter we have a responsibility to raise into a productive, responsible, confident, strong woman. And, while I am sorry, my behavior every day, not our experience or my past, defines my character.

 

[commentator]

So you want to go to court just for the sheer enjoyment of your imagined triumph when the judge looks at you and says, "Yes, you were right, she's bat s(*& bonkers! You poor man! what you've been through, its SO terrible!" He/she may come down off the bench and give you hug.

This is a fantasy, and you have nothing to gain, and everything to lose by pushing this. LISTEN TO YOUR LAWYER!!! Forget feeding him brilliant ideas. What if it doesn't all doesn't go as you've so carefully imagined? What if the judge sees you as the one who's vindictive, paranoid, hateful, supercilious, obsessive, nasty, aggressive, you know, those real wrong things..... And your attorney can fire you, you know. That would look good for your side.

 

[LdiJ]

hey it never hurts to ask....I've already countered, to defend myself, so it just can't be dropped. I don't believe I'm entitled to anything I want her to leave me alone. It's her actions that have brought me to this point. I'm listening very closely to what my lawyer is saying, but I still want the opportunity to get on the stand so hopefully the Judge will see who has the problem co parenting. I don't need her records for that...

Did you respond or actually counter? Those are two different things. It sounds like you responded rather than countered. Did you specifically ask for anything to be modified or for mom to be held in contempt, or did you just defend yourself? If you just defended yourself its not a counter suit and mom could still dismiss her case.

I understand completely your desire for this to get in front of a judge. You want a judge to specifically say that mom's accusations are baseless. However, it sounds to me like you scared mom off a little with the request for medical records, so mom may very well think twice before starting up anything else.

You also should think a bit about your wallet as well. If you end up committing to going for custody, it could get quite expensive with a GAL and/or a Psych eval, and then if you lose, you could have spent 10k or more for nothing. I am not saying that you shouldn't do it if its the right thing to do, but make sure that its truly the right thing to do. I completely understand wanting mom to get a slap down from the judge...it does sound like she deserves one. However, sometimes it might not be the most practical thing to do if the problem can go away without that expense.

Basically, I am suggesting that you sit back and try to look at things from the most objective standpoint possible, and make sure that whatever you decide to do is truly the wisest thing to do. Right now you are pretty ticked off, and I do not blame you, but it might be better to examine this with a cooler head...and I think that your attorney is kind of leading you in that direction.

 

[Silverplum]

One of the hardest things I have had to do is ask myself why our marriage did not work. Throughout our marriage I asked myself what you could have done differently. Outside of our marriage, I took that therapists advice to heart and thought about what I could do differently. I am deeply sorry for not treating you with the respect you deserve. We both deserve to be treated with respect and feel good in our own home. Irrelevant of what I thought you should or should not have done, I did not awaken to the truth that I had a role in our misery and the anger, bitterness, and frustration I felt. I understand now that my running to divorce as a solution when things between us wasn’t working was a betrayal of our commitment in marriage and a betrayal to you personally. I am sorry that our marriage was the price for my learning that life is riddled with inequities, that the only person you can control is yourself, and that marriage is a commitment where we are supposed to grow together. You once said it is about integrity, character and commitment. You are right. I am not going to expend energy on fighting with you, rather my focus is being a good parent with you for K. I am rising above us and focusing on our daughter. That is why I withdrew. I am not devaluing your pain and suffering. I have seen the toll our fighting has taken on our daughter and I recognize that this is not about winning or losing, it is about K and the daughter we have a responsibility to raise into a productive, responsible, confident, strong woman. And, while I am sorry, my behavior every day, not our experience or my past, defines my character.

*tiny violin plays*

The legal issues are not about DRAMA.

 

[bham]

Nice post from "Ld." Yes, I responded holding her in contempt. The problem is she isn't capable of following a decree so she in contempt on several front. Too many to list actually, or keep track of. I can appreciate taking the emotion out of it, and have. This filing is over 2 years old, I'm in no rush. I have 40% and my daughter loves my wife and half brother.She doesn't provide receipts for reimbursement, so I don't reimburse. She did provide a spreadsheet, but fabricated receipts... It's capped at a grand a year so worse case I'm in for a grand a year. She filed I don't pay then provided receipts for "teacher donations" after school care, etc...when my existing decree is very clear as to what I pay. Medical wise, she's doctor jumping trying to get my daughter medicated...with no luck mind you which brings me to yet another person that rolls their eyes, shrugs their shoulders...when the last dr called to discuss my daughters "focus" issue she told me my daughter asked her for "medication to help her get to the first grade" Dr said to me she had a long discussion with my X and that is't the plan....my X never told me this.... i stay mellow and try not to burn my wallet up with the lawyer. Now my last post... any comments....

The legal issues are not about DRAMA.[/QUOTE]

 

[Just Blue]

Nice post from "Ld." Yes, I responded holding her in contempt. The problem is she isn't capable of following a decree so she in contempt on several front. Too many to list actually, or keep track of. I can appreciate taking the emotion out of it, and have. This filing is over 2 years old, I'm in no rush. I have 40% and my daughter loves my wife and half brother.She doesn't provide receipts for reimbursement, so I don't reimburse. She did provide a spreadsheet, but fabricated receipts... It's capped at a grand a year so worse case I'm in for a grand a year. She filed I don't pay then provided receipts for "teacher donations" after school care, etc...when my existing decree is very clear as to what I pay. Medical wise, she's doctor jumping trying to get my daughter medicated...with no luck mind you which brings me to yet another person that rolls their eyes, shrugs their shoulders...when the last dr called to discuss my daughters "focus" issue she told me my daughter asked her for "medication to help her get to the first grade" Dr said to me she had a long discussion with my X and that is't the plan....my X never told me this.... i stay mellow and try not to burn my wallet up with the lawyer. Now my last post... any comments....

The legal issues are not about DRAMA.

[/QUOTE] My comment is that you should take your drama infused rant to your attorney.

Blue

 

[Just Blue]

Px Hx**************.....

 

[ecmst12]

BOTH of you sound like a mess, and I feel sorry for your daughter.

 

[Proserpina]

So what are we seeing here - a Hail Mary pass that you know is going to fail miserably but are slinging it regardless?


You want to use Mom's health records against her for no good reason?

Please tell me I'm misunderstanding because the alternative is showing us that you're a bitter, hurtful man who can't get past himself in order to be the best parent he can.

 

[Proserpina]

Px Hx**************.....

Oh you have GOT to be kidding me....

I'm momentarily lost for words.