Mother is setting me up for failure

[serweener]

Delray Beach, FL:
in short, i am a 17 year old female dealing with mom troubles. as of recently, I've been living with a close friend of mine. By doing so, I'm avoiding my emotionally abusive household comprised of my mother and two half sisters, both older than me. I own a very old car in poor condition. This car was paid for by my mother in whole. We made a deal that I would pay her back as my paychecks came in. Up until recently, I was employed making good money so I was able to pay her back until I was asked to leave my job, leaving $2,200 of my car debt to my mother unpaid. I quickly got back on my feet and I begin training for my new job tomorrow (2/20/15). My main dilemma is that my mom is now refusing to give me my social security card that i need in order to even qualify for my new job. She is also now threatening to take the car from me, which obviously i need in order to travel from school, to my new home, to my new job. Basically, she's depriving me of the resources necessary to hold a job that i need to have to pay her back in the first place. (Not to mention, taking my car will halt my ability to make it to school) I would consider going to my old home (her house) to reason with her but she is emotionally abusive. Not only that, but my two older half sisters who live with my mom (and have extremely violent tendencies) are constantly seriously threatening me & my well-being over text. One of the two sisters went as far as threatening to destroy my property, my car specifically, and i have it all in texts. Is this worth filing a police report? Also, to wrap things up, what do I do about my clearly irrational and belligerent mother who insists that she keeps my SSC and even my W2 from me!!!? Also, I turn 18 soon, how will this affect the situations at hand?

side note: in order to shed light on my mothers insanity, ill have you know that due to her draining my paychecks, i had no money for gas one time, leaving me with no choice but to miss FINALS WEEK and fail all of my finals and eventually i snuck money out of my own paychecks solely for gas.

 

[Ohiogal]

Delray Beach, FL:
in short, i am a 17 year old female dealing with mom troubles. as of recently, I've been living with a close friend of mine. By doing so, I'm avoiding my emotionally abusive household comprised of my mother and two half sisters, both older than me. I own a very old car in poor condition. This car was paid for by my mother in whole. We made a deal that I would pay her back as my paychecks came in. Up until recently, I was employed making good money so I was able to pay her back until I was asked to leave my job, leaving $2,200 of my car debt to my mother unpaid. I quickly got back on my feet and I begin training for my new job tomorrow (2/20/15). My main dilemma is that my mom is now refusing to give me my social security card that i need in order to even qualify for my new job. She is also now threatening to take the car from me, which obviously i need in order to travel from school, to my new home, to my new job. Basically, she's depriving me of the resources necessary to hold a job that i need to have to pay her back in the first place. (Not to mention, taking my car will halt my ability to make it to school) I would consider going to my old home (her house) to reason with her but she is emotionally abusive. Not only that, but my two older half sisters who live with my mom (and have extremely violent tendencies) are constantly seriously threatening me & my well-being over text. One of the two sisters went as far as threatening to destroy my property, my car specifically, and i have it all in texts. Is this worth filing a police report? Also, to wrap things up, what do I do about my clearly irrational and belligerent mother who insists that she keeps my SSC and even my W2 from me!!!? Also, I turn 18 soon, how will this affect the situations at hand?

side note: in order to shed light on my mothers insanity, ill have you know that due to her draining my paychecks, i had no money for gas one time, leaving me with no choice but to miss FINALS WEEK and fail all of my finals and eventually i snuck money out of my own paychecks solely for gas.

You don't have a right to car OR a job as a minor. You can apply for a copy of your social security card at the social security office. You can also request a W2 copy from your employer. Why couldn't you walk to school or take a school bus? And be careful about stating that your mother is insane -- you are in NO position to diagnosis her.

 

[stealth2]

Technically, you're a runaway, and the people allowing you to stay with them are practicing custodial interference. What you are calling abuse, many would deem "tough love". Sorry.

 

[CdwJava]

Delray Beach, FL:
in short, i am a 17 year old female dealing with mom troubles.

I have four boys, three of which could probably have said the same thing at 17 ... "troubles" are what teenagers tend to have in spades.

as of recently, I've been living with a close friend of mine.

A romantic interest??? Or, a platonic pal?

I own a very old car in poor condition. This car was paid for by my mother in whole.

So, whose name is the car in? Yours, or mom's? I suspect that legally mom owns the car, correct?

My main dilemma is that my mom is now refusing to give me my social security card that i need in order to even qualify for my new job.

As a minor, she doesn't have to allow you to work.

She is also now threatening to take the car from me, which obviously i need in order to travel from school, to my new home, to my new job.

You're fortunate that mom has not shown up at your "new home" and dragged you back home with the assistance of the police, and asked that charges be filed against he people keeping you from her. She does not have to subsidize your delinquency. So, you can take a bus to school and home, or, move back home and then move out again at age 18 ... maybe you'll figure out how to pay off the car by then.

Basically, she's depriving me of the resources necessary to hold a job that i need to have to pay her back in the first place.

I'm sure she knows that. She's using the car as leverage, it seems. And, if she owns the car, she can.

Heck, I use it as leverage. Three of my boys are able to drive and they make payments on their cars, but, they are in MY name (played Hell on my once fantastic credit rating because we got them all in 2014). They can keep them so long as they are in school and working. When they get the credit rating to assume the loan, then it's all theirs. Until then, the cars are leverage. This is not an uncommon practice among parents.

Not only that, but my two older half sisters who live with my mom (and have extremely violent tendencies) are constantly seriously threatening me & my well-being over text. One of the two sisters went as far as threatening to destroy my property, my car specifically, and i have it all in texts. Is this worth filing a police report?

That's up to you. Whether the police can do anything or not depends on the specific nature of the texts and the likelihood that they will carry them out. If they made conditional threats a month ago and have not carried them out, then there may be no crime. If you have told them to stop communicating with you and they continue to do so, there may be a harassment related crime there, but, I doubt a DA is going to file on such a thing between siblings. But, you can call the police and open that can of worms if you want.

Also, to wrap things up, what do I do about my clearly irrational and belligerent mother who insists that she keeps my SSC and even my W2 from me!!!? Also, I turn 18 soon, how will this affect the situations at hand?

It is not "clear" that mom is either irrational or belligerent. It IS clear that the two of you do not see eye to eye. Why that is, we cannot possibly know. But, until you are 18 she has almost complete control over your life. If you insist on shoving, expect to be dragged back home and have the police considering charges against the people aiding you in your delinquency. If the fact that mom is allowing you to remain out of the home is important to you, then you may not want to rock this boat.

At 18 you can have the police join you when you go home and ask for your SS card. If she says she lost it, you can apply for a new one. And, when you pay off the car and get the car transferred into your name, the car will be yours. If you have paid mom off and she refuses to give it to you, you can try to sue her. Whether you will prevail or not depends on the agreement.

side note: in order to shed light on my mothers insanity, ill have you know that due to her draining my paychecks, i had no money for gas one time, leaving me with no choice but to miss FINALS WEEK and fail all of my finals and eventually i snuck money out of my own paychecks solely for gas.

That sucks, but, there are friends with cars and busses. Once upon a time we used to use those resources to get to school.

And how does she "drain" a paycheck? A paycheck gets deposited in the bank. You could have taken the money for gas out when you got paid. Apparently you did not. Some prior planning might have helped in this situation.

While I agree that it seems petty to leave you without gas money, but, if you weren't living at home, she may well have figured that your transportation is now your problem ... we don't know. And, if you were living at home, why do you think she wanted to see you fail your finals and refused to give you money or a ride to school? Did you ask?