super mess, involving illegal & same sex marriage please help

[projectworkout]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CO

Ok, I had posted something on tax thread but it brought up some questions I think would be better answered here. Sorry, long story...



I was in a same sex relationship for 13 years (unable to marry, due to laws then). We owned our first home together and had BOTH names on that home for 8 years. In 2010, we wanted to buy a new house together. It was determined that my name would stay on the old house, and she would qualify (with her dad) for the new house. That way we could carry both mortgages until the first house sold, then we would quick claim me on. I am on Social security disability (SSDI), and could only be on one house at a time anyway. The first house sold, and we forgot/didnt get around to the quick claim. We broke up in early 2013 (3 years together in new house), and I wanted to keep the house. She agreed to sell it to me. Problem was qualifying on just my income. So I lived and paid the entire mortgage (she moved to another city). She was fine with me staying there, just wanted me to buy it from her as soon as I could.

I met and got married legally to my next partner, we had to go to another state to marry, as it still was not legal in CO. My new spouse I had met online and she was from Switzerland, not legal. We ended up getting married in NM where it was legal for same sex. Once she finally got her soc sec number, we bought the house I had now been in for 4 years from my ex. in May 2014. Turns out this person was using me to get into the US and right after we had our interview for citizenship, she broke up with me and moved out. SO she is still on my mortgage, as I dont make enough to assume the loan or qualify by myself. I have been paying the entire mortgage and taxes on the home, but she is still on there for now. We are also still married even though she moved out July 2014.


She still is not a legal citizen, and wont be for another two years. I was going to stay married to her until it all went through. Problem is, I really dont want her to be trying to force me out of my house. I had a decent amount of equity in there and paid my ex 10K + all the closing cost of both the buyer & seller, so my ex would not pay any costs at closing. So I paid 12K + 10K of that, my new spouse paid nothing. I am afraid if I drag her into divorce court, she will try to force me to sell and I will not be able to qualify for about another year (son in law will help me when his military disability goes through). So if the divorce forces me to sell, I will be heartbroken, as I have been in this house almost 6 years now, have a lot of memories and my SSDI condition is agoraphobia, so it would cause a LOT of anxiety for me to move. So I really dont know what to do....I hate to keep her on longer because I know she will be getting more $$$ but if I piss her off and try to divorce her, I know she will try to force me out.

She only lived in the house for 8 months, and didnt pay anything. While I have lived here and paid for 6 years, have some equity, and have paid my ex out.

My question is should I go ahead and divorce her asap, or wait until I can qualify with another borrower (about a year)??? She did say she wants her name off, so I am sure she will "sell" it to me later.

Also dont know if the first step should be real estate, immigration or divorce attorney!

Thanks!

 

[stealth2]

My question is should I go ahead and divorce her asap, or wait until I can qualify with another borrower (about a year)???

So.... you want to follow the first and second mistakes with a third?

You need to speak with a lawyer. I'd make it someone well versed in same sex marriages to start.

 

[projectworkout]

So.... you want to follow the first and second mistakes with a third?

You need to speak with a lawyer. I'd make it someone well versed in same sex marriages to start.

Not really sure I understand. Are you referring to a third mistake being to divorce her now, or third mistake is waiting?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CO

Ok, I had posted something on tax thread but it brought up some questions I think would be better answered here. Sorry, long story...



I was in a same sex relationship for 13 years (unable to marry, due to laws then). We owned our first home together and had BOTH names on that home for 8 years. In 2010, we wanted to buy a new house together. It was determined that my name would stay on the old house, and she would qualify (with her dad) for the new house. That way we could carry both mortgages until the first house sold, then we would quick claim me on. I am on Social security disability (SSDI), and could only be on one house at a time anyway. The first house sold, and we forgot/didnt get around to the quick claim. We broke up in early 2013 (3 years together in new house), and I wanted to keep the house. She agreed to sell it to me. Problem was qualifying on just my income. So I lived and paid the entire mortgage (she moved to another city). She was fine with me staying there, just wanted me to buy it from her as soon as I could.

I met and got married legally to my next partner, we had to go to another state to marry, as it still was not legal in CO. My new spouse I had met online and she was from Switzerland, not legal. We ended up getting married in NM where it was legal for same sex. Once she finally got her soc sec number, we bought the house I had now been in for 4 years from my ex. in May 2014. Turns out this person was using me to get into the US and right after we had our interview for citizenship, she broke up with me and moved out. SO she is still on my mortgage, as I dont make enough to assume the loan or qualify by myself. I have been paying the entire mortgage and taxes on the home, but she is still on there for now. We are also still married even though she moved out July 2014.


She still is not a legal citizen, and wont be for another two years. I was going to stay married to her until it all went through. Problem is, I really dont want her to be trying to force me out of my house. I had a decent amount of equity in there and paid my ex 10K + all the closing cost of both the buyer & seller, so my ex would not pay any costs at closing. So I paid 12K + 10K of that, my new spouse paid nothing. I am afraid if I drag her into divorce court, she will try to force me to sell and I will not be able to qualify for about another year (son in law will help me when his military disability goes through). So if the divorce forces me to sell, I will be heartbroken, as I have been in this house almost 6 years now, have a lot of memories and my SSDI condition is agoraphobia, so it would cause a LOT of anxiety for me to move. So I really dont know what to do....I hate to keep her on longer because I know she will be getting more $$$ but if I piss her off and try to divorce her, I know she will try to force me out.

She only lived in the house for 8 months, and didnt pay anything. While I have lived here and paid for 6 years, have some equity, and have paid my ex out.

My question is should I go ahead and divorce her asap, or wait until I can qualify with another borrower (about a year)??? She did say she wants her name off, so I am sure she will "sell" it to me later.

Also dont know if the first step should be real estate, immigration or divorce attorney!

Thanks!

I'm going to try and work through the immigration part but I have some questions first because there's some confusion.

When exactly did you and Swiss marry?

What did you file in order to get her social security number, and when?

What's her current status? Conditional resident? Full legal permanent resident?

And perhaps more importantly...

Who sponsored her?

We'll start with those.

 

[projectworkout]

We married in NM 9/9/13 (was not legal in CO) we both reside in CO Springs

We filed to get her soc I think in March, she got a letter stating she could work and get a soc. Although the card she got said valid for work and tax purposes. I485 was filed

Her current status is she got a card about 6 weeks after our interview. Our interview was in May, she got her card end of june or first week in july, she moved out in july and it was not reported. I think a green card? and some papers that told her within about two years she could apply for permanent.

We both sponsored her. That was a hairy mess & turned into a request for more info & attorney fees. She was getting a pension (disability) from the swiss government. So she sponsored herself and I co sponsored her because it would not have been quite enough.

 

[Proserpina]

We married in NM 9/9/13 (was not legal in CO) we both reside in CO Springs

We filed to get her soc I think in March, she got a letter stating she could work and get a soc. Although the card she got said valid for work and tax purposes. I485 was filed

Her current status is she got a card about 6 weeks after our interview. Our interview was in May, she got her card end of june or first week in july, she moved out in july and it was not reported. I think a green card? and some papers that told her within about two years she could apply for permanent.

We both sponsored her. That was a hairy mess & turned into a request for more info & attorney fees. She was getting a pension (disability) from the swiss government. So she sponsored herself and I co sponsored her because it would not have been quite enough.

The timing is a bit off, but okay.

Is she working?

You said you're paying the mortgage yourself - why does it matter whether or not you get divorced? Is she actually on the deed?

 

[projectworkout]

This is the timing as close as I can come to it. We met online early july 2012 She came on a vacation visa (3 month) on 8/22/12, we hit it off and married 9/9/12 and filed right away because we read somewhere if we filled after 9/30/2012, they would not even look at the application until Jan 2013. We both took that to mean she would have to go back when her vacation visa was up (we had no clue). So we got everything filled out, paid for, shots, dr visits, x rays, tb test and all additional forms (sponsor) all filed and sent between 9/9 - 9/30. I think it was ,mailed in on 9/27/2013. We got notice the next month they would need more info for the sponsor because we were not sure if she needed one or not with the $ that she was getting. So got an attorney at that point, he took care of the rest of it and letters from the swiss government that her payments were not going to end or anything.

Then we got notice our interview was in Denver in May 2014 (14th i think). She got a letter within 10 days saying it was all approved & to expect her card. She got her card late June/early July 2014.

 

[Proserpina]

This is the timing as close as I can come to it. We met online early july 2012 She came on a vacation visa (3 month) on 8/22/12, we hit it off and married 9/9/12 and filed right away because we read somewhere if we filled after 9/30/2012, they would not even look at the application until Jan 2013. We both took that to mean she would have to go back when her vacation visa was up (we had no clue). So we got everything filled out, paid for, shots, dr visits, x rays, tb test and all additional forms (sponsor) all filed and sent between 9/9 - 9/30. I think it was ,mailed in on 9/27/2013. We got notice the next month they would need more info for the sponsor because we were not sure if she needed one or not with the $ that she was getting. So got an attorney at that point, he took care of the rest of it and letters from the swiss government that her payments were not going to end or anything.

Then we got notice our interview was in Denver in May 2014 (14th i think). She got a letter within 10 days saying it was all approved & to expect her card. She got her card late June/early July 2014.

Given the timeline, I'm very, very surprised she was approved given that she got married on a non-immigrant visa. I'm sure the interview was fun.

But this is where I respectfully bow out of this discussion.

I wish you luck.

 

[stealth2]

Not really sure I understand. Are you referring to a third mistake being to divorce her now, or third mistake is waiting?

Third mistake is waiting to do this again with a new borrower/partner. 'Cause I have to assume you're looking at doing this w/a new partner.

ETA: I would not count on your SIL helping you.

 

[projectworkout]

no, Im done with partners, tyvm. and I have had no problems paying the bills and the entire mortgage, just on paper I do not make enough.

I think she was approved quickly because we came to the interview with her on my house!

 

[Ohiogal]

no, Im done with partners, tyvm. and I have had no problems paying the bills and the entire mortgage, just on paper I do not make enough.

I think she was approved quickly because we came to the interview with her on my house!

Is she on the deed to the house?

 

[FlyingRon]

It matters not who is on the deed. They were married and then bought the house. It is part of the marital estate and it matters not if one spouse "paid" more than the other. That's not how a marriage (same sex or otherwise) works.

As you were told on the other forum you have MANY aspects here that require a lawyer, especially when what you proposed originally to do is a CRIME.

Marriage should be more than finding someone whose credit you can leech off of in return for immigration fraud. Not that at this point, a DIVORCE will not extricate yourself from the immigration issues.

 

[Ohiogal]

It matters not who is on the deed. They were married and then bought the house. It is part of the marital estate and it matters not if one spouse "paid" more than the other. That's not how a marriage (same sex or otherwise) works.

As you were told on the other forum you have MANY aspects here that require a lawyer, especially when what you proposed originally to do is a CRIME.

Marriage should be more than finding someone whose credit you can leech off of in return for immigration fraud. Not that at this point, a DIVORCE will not extricate yourself from the immigration issues.

The deed may matter if Colorado is the state of residency and they will not divorce her. It is complicated.