If spouse kills someone while driving drunk are my personal assets at risk?

[eerelations]

OK, maybe not as clear as you'd like. But I still don't understand why everyone hates OP so much. Yes she should divorce him. Yes she knows he drinks. Yes she knows he drives. But divorcing him won't stop him drinking and driving. Why are you trying to blame her for what he does? Just because she's worried about her own personal liability if he kills someone? Are you saying she shouldn't be worried about that? If that's what you're saying, then what's all this divorce palaver about?

 

[Ohiogal]

OK, maybe not as clear as you'd like. But I still don't understand why everyone hates OP so much. Yes she should divorce him. Yes she knows he drinks. Yes she knows he drives. But divorcing him won't stop him drinking and driving. Why are you trying to blame her for what he does? Just because she's worried about her own personal liability if he kills someone? Are you saying she shouldn't be worried about that? If that's what you're saying, then what's all this divorce palaver about?

SHE can be held responsible due to the fact that she knows he drinks, she knows he is an alcoholic, she knows he is driving. She can be held personally responsible. The only way she can't is if she separates herself from the situation legally -- i.e. divorce. And she doesn't appear to want to do that so that means there is SOME BENEFIT she is getting from this.

 

[not2cleverRed]

OK, maybe not as clear as you'd like. But I still don't understand why everyone hates OP so much. Yes she should divorce him. Yes she knows he drinks. Yes she knows he drives. But divorcing him won't stop him drinking and driving. Why are you trying to blame her for what he does? Just because she's worried about her own personal liability if he kills someone? Are you saying she shouldn't be worried about that? If that's what you're saying, then what's all this divorce palaver about?

Filing for divorce and telling him it's because he is drinking and driving at least communicates that the behavior is unacceptable.

In rare cases, it might even sift through his pickled brain that he needs to change.

Hand wringing about her financial liability is certainly not going to have any effect. The fact is, she came on here worrying about that - not the morality of enabling his behavior.

 

[Proserpina]

SHE can be held responsible due to the fact that she knows he drinks, she knows he is an alcoholic, she knows he is driving. She can be held personally responsible. The only way she can't is if she separates herself from the situation legally -- i.e. divorce. And she doesn't appear to want to do that so that means there is SOME BENEFIT she is getting from this.

So when a spouse is being abused, and can't muster the will to leave (even if s/he wants desperately to do so), does that mean s/he is getting SOME BENEFIT from the situation?

Because s/he doesn't leave? What benefit do you think that might be? Please, share.

 

[Proserpina]

First time posters are usually admonished for displaying too much emotion when presenting their legal question. Cut it down, we tell them. Stick to the pertinent facts. No one wants to wade through a novel.

This poster adheres to forum etiquette and is quickly called out as self-interested and uncaring. Go figure.



I'm married to an alcoholic. I live with all manner of fears that the OP would likely recognize, none of which I will ever detail on these boards. Why? Because this is a LEGAL forum, and it isn't the appropriate place to air such concerns. Those feelings I share with my support group, his doctor, the childrens' therapists, our pastor, a small handful of trusted friends. Sometimes, in those rare moments when he's receptive, with my spouse. One would be quite wrong to presume that because I don't dredge it all up here, I must not care.



To the OP: stick around. If you have thick enough skin to accept free moralizing with your free advice, you may just find the advice to be helpful. As they say, take what you need and leave the rest.

THIS is what the OP needs to read. ^^^^^

And why eerelations is on the chopping block, I do not know.

Further, I have absolutely no idea why the very simple and LEGAL response of "The only way you can make sure is if you divorce" had to come with a poorly-veiled attempt at demeaning the OP.

 

[Ohiogal]

So when a spouse is being abused, and can't muster the will to leave (even if s/he wants desperately to do so), does that mean s/he is getting SOME BENEFIT from the situation?

Because s/he doesn't leave? What benefit do you think that might be? Please, share.

It can be as simple as a roof over his/her head. And abuse has nothing to do with this thread but nice try.

 

[Ohiogal]

THIS is what the OP needs to read. ^^^^^

And why eerelations is on the chopping block, I do not know.

Further, I have absolutely no idea why the very simple and LEGAL response of "The only way you can make sure is if you divorce" had to come with a poorly-veiled attempt at demeaning the OP.

Ee is not on the chopping block. All that happened was people either tried to explain their position of clarify it if they disagreed with EE. How that became EE being on the chopping block, I do not know.

 

[CourtClerk]

You're not uncaring. You're not selfish. You're not wrong for trying to protect yourself from liability. You're not wrong for asking these questions, either. While some people would say that you should up and leave the marriage, let me leave you with this.

Proud_Parent currently knows they are married to an alcoholic. They are doing their best to sort that out. Others on this thread are alcoholics themselves and their spouses haven't left them either. Be very careful with some of the hypocrisy you'll find on this board. Take it for what it is.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York


Hello,

I am new to the forum. Unfortunately, I am married to an alcoholic. I fear that he will one day get behind the wheel after excessive drinking and kill someone in an accident. Yes, I know that a divorce is likely to be in my future. However, my question is the following. If my husband kills someone while drunk driving, are my personal assets that are solely held in my name (NOT joint assets) at risk?

 

[HorseUrodeInOn]

If her husband is driving drunk, he's putting people at risk. Where did the assumption that she is unconcerned about that come from? Certainly not her.

 

[Proserpina]

If her husband is driving drunk, he's putting people at risk. Where did the assumption that she is unconcerned about that come from? Certainly not her.

No idea. But then I guess most of us are still wondering what kind of "benefit" is involved here.

 

[perlet123]

I notice that you are more concern on material things rather than the life of someone else or your spouse going in prison.

 

[commentator]

OP, I understand the question and the situation far better than most might. I was once married to an otherwise very charming man who was not a full time, busy active participating alcoholic. He wasn't even a social drinker. He was a good father, a good provider, and a pretty good husband. BUT he was an occasional binge alcoholic. He would go for months, years even, without a lapse, and during those times, of course, he was very very sorry for all the mistakes of the past, he was a changed man, and it was never ever going to happen again.

And then one day, it would be a full blown bender, where he didn't stop until he had passed out and/or drank up all the alcohol in the world. Each of these occasions usually involved the police, a DUI, an accident, etc. And yes, when it finally happened that he was the cause of a serious accident, though thankfully he didn't kill anyone, we were sued for everything, including our house, our property, and my family's land that had not been commingled with him. The suit was not successful, our insurance company settled with the other people and yes, we did eventually divorce, after several years of his being sober and in AA programs. Then of course he then forgot again, and after the divorce, ended up dying in a car accident driving while under the influence.

But people always asked me, Why didn't you call the police on him when you knew he was driving drunk?" (Answer: I didn't usually know this was happening until it had already happened!) and "Why didn't you divorce him?" (Answer: I didn't want to. I had children and a life in common with this ordinarily very nice man who had one fatal flaw. It was easy to forget that flaw was there when it wasn't going on.) It is a strange and sick situation, dealing with this type of person.

It's very similar to some of the abusive marriages I see when I work with domestic violence survivors. The good part is very very good, and sometimes it lasts a long time and gives you tremendous hope that the bad will never reoccur. This, in itself is addictive. Answers, none except that yes, there is a divorce in your future. It may seem hard to do when things are going well to dump this situation, but you know the bad will happen again.