Father-son deed legal issues

[awp69]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina.

In 2012, my mother (deceased) and father put my name on their deed to help me void probate and taxes when they passed away.

Now, my father wants to do a reverse mortagage on the home. He does not need the money and is living quite welll. But he is bi-polar and can go on spending sprees and has been taken advantage of by others financially. As such, I do not want him to get a reverse mortage and do not want to sign to remove my name from the deed. I'm doing this only because I want to protect him because, knowing his previous history with bi-polar, he is not always of sound mind and can easily rack up monetary issues due to it.

So, now he wants to sue me to try to collect property taxes, home owners insruance and HOA fees from 2012 to present (about $10,000). I know he may have legal basis to collect that. I also know that that wouild destroy my own finances. He also would try to get legal fees paid if he sues.

I have two questions: 1) would he indeed be in the legal right to be able to collect past property taxes, insurance and HOA fees from past years and 2) if he is, would their be a way to counter that by requiring him to pay rent costs for my portion of the home based on comparable homes in his area.

I love my Dad and want to protect his future. But based on his previous history with bi-polar and financial issues that have resulted from it, I don't know what to do. If I get off the deed and he proceeds with a reverse mortage, he could easily run into big financial problems and possibly lose his house. If I refuse, he will sue.

With his bi-polar "high", and I have no way to know if he is or is not taking his medication (I live four hours from him), he doesn't seem to care about the consequences of losing his only living son (my brother died in 2001 from Leukemia). I just want to protect him and don't care about getting the house when he passes away. I just want to do the right thing without being dragged into court and possibly losing a ton of money on my own.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina.

In 2012, my mother (deceased) and father put my name on their deed to help me void probate and taxes when they passed away.

Now, my father wants to do a reverse mortagage on the home. He does not need the money and is living quite welll. But he is bi-polar and can go on spending sprees and has been taken advantage of by others financially. As such, I do not want him to get a reverse mortage and do not want to sign to remove my name from the deed. I'm doing this only because I want to protect him because, knowing his previous history with bi-polar, he is not always of sound mind and can easily rack up monetary issues due to it.

So, now he wants to sue me to try to collect property taxes, home owners insruance and HOA fees from 2012 to present (about $10,000). I know he may have legal basis to collect that. I also know that that wouild destroy my own finances. He also would try to get legal fees paid if he sues.

I have two questions: 1) would he indeed be in the legal right to be able to collect past property taxes, insurance and HOA fees from past years and 2) if he is, would their be a way to counter that by requiring him to pay rent costs for my portion of the home based on comparable homes in his area.

I love my Dad and want to protect his future. But based on his previous history with bi-polar and financial issues that have resulted from it, I don't know what to do. If I get off the deed and he proceeds with a reverse mortage, he could easily run into big financial problems and possibly lose his house. If I refuse, he will sue.

With his bi-polar "high", and I have no way to know if he is or is not taking his medication (I live four hours from him), he doesn't seem to care about the consequences of losing his only living son (my brother died in 2001 from Leukemia). I just want to protect him and don't care about getting the house when he passes away. I just want to do the right thing without being dragged into court and possibly losing a ton of money on my own.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Your dad is not going to find a lawyer that is going to take a case like that on contingency. Its very possible that he is just bluffing. Its also not really a winnable case for him either. However, since you are 4 hours away, you cannot be sure that your father does not really have a valid financial reason for feeling that he needs to do the reverse mortgage...or has not had financial reverses and therefore needs money.

I don't know what your relationship with your father is, but if it were me dealing with one of my parents, I would attempt an in person, sit down discussion about the matter to try to get to the real bottom line. That is not legal advice, its personal advice.

 

[single317dad]

If you feel your father is no longer capable of handling his own affairs, you should petition the court to name you his Guardian and/or Conservator. This site has a brief overview of the process:

http://www.sc-probate.com/Guardianship.html

This is a commercial site the I've provided only as an explanation of and introduction to SC laws. FreeAdvice and I have no connection to that law office, and I am not suggesting you consult or retain that attorney. Keep in mind that those positions come with a great deal of responsibility as well as the authority you seek.

Either he is or is not capable of handling his affairs; there's no "he's mostly OK but I want to prevent him making this one mistake".

 

[awp69]

Your dad is not going to find a lawyer that is going to take a case like that on contingency. Its very possible that he is just bluffing. Its also not really a winnable case for him either. However, since you are 4 hours away, you cannot be sure that your father does not really have a valid financial reason for feeling that he needs to do the reverse mortgage...or has not had financial reverses and therefore needs money.

I don't know what your relationship with your father is, but if it were me dealing with one of my parents, I would attempt an in person, sit down discussion about the matter to try to get to the real bottom line. That is not legal advice, its personal advice.

While I live four hours away from him, he absolutely does not need the money. He has luxuries that are far from being essential, even though he would argue that they are for his "new life", -- a sports car, a boat, etc. Plus his house is like 3000 square feet for one person! I would get on board with him selling the house and downsizing. But he does not want to hear any reason. He buys the latest electronic gadgets like 4K TVs. He feels he is entitled to whatever he wants. This is classic manic, bi-polar disorder.

Unfortunately, that also means that even if I went down to talk to him face to face, he would not listen to reason at all. He thinks he is right and won't hear anything else. He has hung up on me numerous times on the phone.

Bi-Polar disorder is hard to deal with outside of the law. The way he treated his wife while she was still alive still sickens me to this day...and that's when my mother WAS checking his medicines.

 

[Zigner]

I'm sorry - but, even though you are on title, the intention is for it to be his house. Why don't you simply give him back your interest in his house and let him make his own choices. You don't care about his money, so it really doesn't matter, does it?

 

[LdiJ]

While I live four hours away from him, he absolutely does not need the money. He has luxuries that are far from being essential, even though he would argue that they are for his "new life", -- a sports car, a boat, etc. Plus his house is like 3000 square feet for one person! I would get on board with him selling the house and downsizing. But he does not want to hear any reason. He buys the latest electronic gadgets like 4K TVs. He feels he is entitled to whatever he wants. This is classic manic, bi-polar disorder.

Unfortunately, that also means that even if I went down to talk to him face to face, he would not listen to reason at all. He thinks he is right and won't hear anything else. He has hung up on me numerous times on the phone.

Bi-Polar disorder is hard to deal with outside of the law. The way he treated his wife while she was still alive still sickens me to this day...and that's when my mother WAS checking his medicines.

Well then, I guess if I were in your shoes I would simply stand my ground.

 

[awp69]

I'm sorry - but, even though you are on title, the intention is for it to be his house. Why don't you simply give him back your interest in his house and let him make his own choices. You don't care about his money, so it really doesn't matter, does it?

It does matter because I want to protect his future. I don't want him losing the house and end up truly destitute. I actually do love him -- he's my father after all. But he will not listen to any reason so thus my prediciment.

 

[LdiJ]

It does matter because I want to protect his future. I don't want him losing the house and end up truly destitute. I actually do love him -- he's my father after all. But he will not listen to any reason so thus my prediciment.

I understand exactly why you are taking the position that you are taking...and again, if I were in your shoes I would stand my ground. The way that he appears to be spending money its very possible that he will NEED to either sell or do a reverse mortgage down the road, just to continue to pay the bills, so there is no point in cooperating with it now, when he doesn't need the money now.

How old is your father?

 

[awp69]

I understand exactly why you are taking the position that you are taking...and again, if I were in your shoes I would stand my ground. The way that he appears to be spending money its very possible that he will NEED to either sell or do a reverse mortgage down the road, just to continue to pay the bills, so there is no point in cooperating with it now, when he doesn't need the money now.

How old is your father?

I agree. And he's 76.

 

[LdiJ]

I agree. And he's 76.

You might want to consider trying to find a way to have him evaluated. If he is starting to experience any kind of dementia, that, combined with his bi-polar disease could be a very problematic combination...particularly if he is not taking his medication as he should.

 

[OK-LL]

It does matter because I want to protect his future. I don't want him losing the house and end up truly destitute. I actually do love him -- he's my father after all. But he will not listen to any reason so thus my prediciment.

A reverse mortgage would not foreclose if/when/because your father spends his last dollar. A reverse mortgage would simply give him somewhere between 50-70% of his equity in the home (depending on his age), either in monthly payments or a single lump sum, and then they wait for him to die or permanently move out of the home, at which time they would foreclose on it. So your concern about him becoming destitute and homeless is unlikely, so long as he has income sufficient to keep the utilities on and the taxes paid. If you have already reviewed the options of a reverse mortgage (in order to take a stand against it), then you know this. So what's your real issue with your Dad and his house?

 

[LdiJ]

A reverse mortgage would not foreclose if/when/because your father spends his last dollar. A reverse mortgage would simply give him somewhere between 50-70% of his equity in the home (depending on his age), either in monthly payments or a single lump sum, and then they wait for him to die or permanently move out of the home, at which time they would foreclose on it. So your concern about him becoming destitute and homeless is unlikely, so long as he has income sufficient to keep the utilities on and the taxes paid. If you have already reviewed the options of a reverse mortgage (in order to take a stand against it), then you know this. So what's your real issue with your Dad and his house?

50-70% of his equity is not the same as 100% if he truly ends up needing the money to live, rather than wanting the money to spend on more toys. A place to live is not enough if there is little to nothing else.

 

[awp69]

You might want to consider trying to find a way to have him evaluated. If he is starting to experience any kind of dementia, that, combined with his bi-polar disease could be a very problematic combination...particularly if he is not taking his medication as he should.

My father's emails have gotten progressively worse and those alone may be enough to warrant this, but he would not cooperate. I would probably have to go through some legal means myself to get him declared financially incompetent or whatever other laws may apply to his mental state. I haven't looked into that avenue yet, but the way he is acting, I may have no choice.

50-70% of his equity is not the same as 100% if he truly ends up needing the money to live, rather than wanting the money to spend on more toys. A place to live is not enough if there is little to nothing else.

Agreed. Even if he did hold onto the house, if he spends all of the money against it, maxes out credit cards, etc., he will be in a position where money for truly necessary things will become a problem. He has no self control -- and I don't blame him entirely knowing his bi-polar state -- but he could easily ruin his future with what he considers "necessary" for his "new life".

I wish I coud post his emails here to show you the kinds of crazy things he is saying and things that make absolutely no sense.

 

[LdiJ]

My father's emails have gotten progressively worse and those alone may be enough to warrant this, but I he would not cooperate. I would probably have to go through some legal means myself to get him declared financially incompetent or whatever other laws may apply to his mental state. I haven't looked into that avenue yet, but the way he is acting, I may have no choice.



Agreed. Even if he hold onto the house, if he spends all of the money against it, maxes out credit cards, etc., he will be in a position where money for truly necessary things will become a problem. He has no self control -- and I don't blame him entirely knowing his bi-polar state -- but he could easily ruin his future with what he considers "necessary" for his "new life".

I wish I coud post his emails here to show you the kinds of crazy things he is saying and things that make absolutely no sense.

I would print out copies of every email in case you need to use them in a legal case.

 

[awp69]

Well, my father has now sent two certified letters to me. The first one, which I first received notice of almost two weeks ago, I know is from him. The second could be from him or, possibly, his attorney if he found a lawyer crazy enough to take his case.

I was ingoring the first one because I knew it was from him and I don't believe it had any formal legal documentation.

I've read varying opinions on legal sites regarding picking up certified letters that could potentially be related to a lawsuit. One saying there was no legal obligation, even if it is notification of a lawsuit, to collect the certified letters. If it is legal documentation, any such communication to "serve" me could be done through other means (hiring someone to serve me at work, for instance).

I read another opinion that thought you should get any certified letters to see what you are getting into and that refusing them could potentially be seen by a court as willfully ignoring my responsibility to reply to a lawsuit (although it sounds like it is tough to prove that in court).

Think I should pick these up?