Father-son deed legal issues

[Zigner]

Well, my father has now sent two certified letters to me. The first one, which I first received notice of almost two weeks ago, I know is from him. The second could be from him or, possibly, his attorney if he found a lawyer crazy enough to take his case.

I was ingoring the first one because I knew it was from him and I don't believe it had any formal legal documentation.

I've read varying opinions on legal sites regarding picking up certified letters that could potentially be related to a lawsuit. One saying there was no legal obligation, even if it is notification of a lawsuit, to collect the certified letters. If it is legal documentation, any such communication to "serve" me could be done through other means (hiring someone to serve me at work, for instance).

I read another opinion that thought you should get any certified letters to see what you are getting into and that refusing them could potentially be seen by a court as willfully ignoring my responsibility to reply to a lawsuit (although it sounds like it is tough to prove that in court).

Think I should pick these up?

It's not wise to bury one's head in the sand.

 

[awp69]

It's not wise to bury one's head in the sand.

Not burying my head in the sand. It's just, particularly the first one, likely just more of the same irrational notes that my father has already been sending.

I just don't want to acknowledge it.

Also, if he is really serious about suing his own son, he can pay for someone to "serve" them to me.

 

[Zigner]

Not burying my head in the sand. It's just, particularly the first one, likely just more of the same irrational notes that my father has already been sending.

I just don't want to acknowledge it.

Also, if he is really serious about suing his own son, he can pay for someone to "serve" them to me.

Alrighty then.

 

[awp69]

Went ahead and picked up the letter at the post office. All it was was his list of "demands", which he had already cut and pasted into an email.

He had the list notarized, spelling mistakes, rambling and all. Says I have until May 22nd until a law "suite" is filed in the county he resides in.

My gut feeling is that he does not have an attorney that has agreed to work with him on this. Otherwise, I would have figured he would have worked with the attorney and had them send the letter.

I've talked to an attorney who, like previous posters have said, doesn't believe my father has much grounds for a lawsuit. She said if he put me on the deed with the intention of passing on the home to me, that that would be construed as a gift. And since I have never lived in the home and it is his primary residence, property taxes, HOA fees and insurance would be his reponsibility. The gift and no former expectation of spliting costs associated with the property would be enough that she didn't think any respectible lawyer would even take the case.

That said, my wife is very upset about the entire situation and wants to see if we can formally hire an attorney to respond to the demands and cite the reasons why my father does not have a case. She wants to try to preempt a lawsuit and having to have to pay our attorney for travel expenses, etc., in addition to the actual work. I don't know if something like that would work to have a civil lawsuit thrown out before it is even considered. Could it?

 

[Zigner]

He had the list notorized, spelling mistakes, rambling and all.

Pot, meet kettle.

 

[LdiJ]

Went ahead and picked up the letter at the post office. All it was was his list of "demands", which he had already cut and pasted into an email.

He had the list notorized, spelling mistakes, rambling and all. Says I have until May 22nd until a law "suite" is filed in the county he resides in.

My gut feeling is that he does not have an attorney that has agreed to work with him on this. Otherwise, I would have figured he would have worked with the attorney and had them send the letter.

I've talked to an attorney who, like previous posters have said, doesn't believe my father has much grounds for a lawsuit. She said if he put me on the deed with the intention of passing on the home to me, that that would be construed as a gift. And since I have never lived in the home and it is his primary residence, property taxes, HOA fees and insurance would be his reponsibility. The gift and no former expectation of spliting costs associated with the property would be enough that she didn't think any respectible lawyer would even take the case.

That said, my wife is very upset about the entire situation and wants to see if we can formally hire an attorney to respond to the demands and site the reasons why my father does not have a case. She wants to try to preempt a lawsuit and having to have to pay our attorney for travel expenses, etc., in addition to the actual work. I don't know if something like that would work to have a civil lawsuit thrown out before it is even considered. Could it?

I think that would be massive overkill at this point. I do not think that your father is actually going to sue you. First, as another poster said I don't think that a reputable attorney would even take the case, and second, if he files a suit without one, you can handle it yourself without an attorney...saving the expense of an attorney.

 

[awp69]

Pot, meet kettle.

Ha. Ha. Thank you for correcting me.

I think that would be massive overkill at this point. I do not think that your father is actually going to sue you. First, as another poster said I don't think that a reputable attorney would even take the case, and second, if he files a suit without one, you can handle it yourself without an attorney...saving the expense of an attorney.

Yeah, I agree, but my wife is even more pissed about this than I am. I'll see when she calms down a bit.

 

[Zigner]

Ha. Ha. Thank you for correcting me.



Yeah, I agree, but my wife is even more pissed about this than I am. I'll see when she calms down a bit.

Wait...I thought there was concern over this? I thought there was a genuine concern about the mental well-being of the man.

 

[awp69]

Wait...I thought there was concern over this? I thought there was a genuine concern about the mental well-being of the man.

There is! At least on my part. My wife doesn't have as much sympathy as I do, but that doesn't make her the enemy.

That said, yes, I am concerned that my father would dig himself into a huge financial pit if he went through with the reverse mortgage and continued to spend away, mostly due to his mental illness. If I wasn't concerned with that, I would have just signed myself off the deed to be done with it and let him fall prey to his own bi-polar disorder.

I have no interest in his home or his money at all.

It's a frustrating and agonizing situation for both my wife and I, especially for me since he is and always will be my father.

I thought his forum was for people to help one another. Not try to insult and imply that someone is just out to get someone, when the complete opposite is true. Of course, I want him to stop doing what he's doing. But I unfortunately do not have control over him. I just want this handled so that he cannot do harm to himself, while not driving a deep wedge between my father and my own family.

And, thank you, LdiJ, for actually understanding my situation and for your help.

 

[LdiJ]

Wait...I thought there was concern over this? I thought there was a genuine concern about the mental well-being of the man.

Zig...genuine concern or not, its going to upset people to be threatened with a lawsuit...particularly sons or daughters in law.

Its clear that your sympathies are with dad...and believe that he should have control of what you perceive as his assets.

However, I am wondering if you have ever dealt with an elderly parent who was of questionable competency? I have, and it is neither fun nor pretty. In my case my mother took the brunt of it, but we kids had our share. When your father files a complaint with the police that you have stolen his pickup truck, its not fun to go through the questioning. In my case we had to do so to stop him from driving, because he was a danger to himself and others. Luckily the police were able to verify that dad had been stopped by the cops three times for driving erratically and the cops had to call mom to come and get him, so in the end, nobody got arrested.

 

[Zigner]

Zig...genuine concern or not, its going to upset people to be threatened with a lawsuit...particularly sons or daughters in law.

Its clear that your sympathies are with dad...and believe that he should have control of what you perceive as his assets.

However, I am wondering if you have ever dealt with an elderly parent who was of questionable competency? I have, and it is neither fun nor pretty. In my case my mother took the brunt of it, but we kids had our share. When your father files a complaint with the police that you have stolen his pickup truck, its not fun to go through the questioning. In my case we had to do so to stop him from driving, because he was a danger to himself and others. Luckily the police were able to verify that dad had been stopped by the cops three times for driving erratically and the cops had to call mom to come and get him, so in the end, nobody got arrested.

I have...and for some reason, this thread gives me a feeling that we're not dealing with questionable competency, rather, just questionable choices. There is a difference. The man in question has been making "questionable" financial decisions his entire life, so why the concern now? Furthermore, he apparently has a pretty good revenue stream. You don't usually get that by making unwise financial decisions.

 

[awp69]

I have...and for some reason, this thread gives me a feeling that we're not dealing with questionable competency, rather, just questionable choices. There is a difference. The man in question has been making "questionable" financial decisions his entire life, so why the concern now?
Furthermore, he apparently has a pretty good revenue stream. You don't usually get that by making unwise financial decisions.

You have no idea the hell my family, in particular, my mother, went through during her life with my father. You also have zero insight into how my father spends his money. Sure, when my mother was alive, they did make some wise decisions. But my mother was there to set him straight, make sure he was taking his medications and even, when it got bad, had him institutionalized for a few months.

If it was questionable choices I was dealing with, I again, would have let him dig his own grave. But he is far from mentally stable. His own brother is also trying to talk to him and cannot get him to acknowledge what he is doing. He gets angry when anyone mentions his bi-polar (a common response since they usually think they are completely in the right when they are on a "high".)

So, no, you may have had some experience with a loved one, but you are not in my shoes. And if you aren't here to help, then go question someone else's motives. I know where mine are.

Just boggles my mind when people try to butt heads on the Internet when a family is being torn apart by a disease.

 

[Silverplum]

There is! At least on my part. My wife doesn't have as much sympathy as I do, but that doesn't make her the enemy.

That said, yes, I am concerned that my father would dig himself into a huge financial pit if he went through with the reverse mortgage and continued to spend away, mostly due to his mental illness. If I wasn't concerned with that, I would have just signed myself off the deed to be done with it and let him fall prey to his own bi-polar disorder.

I have no interest in his home or his money at all.

It's a frustrating and agonizing situation for both my wife and I, especially for me since he is and always will be my father.

I thought his forum was for people to help one another. Not try to insult and imply that someone is just out to get someone, when the complete opposite is true. Of course, I want him to stop doing what he's doing. But I unfortunately do not have control over him. I just want this handled so that he cannot do harm to himself, while not driving a deep wedge between my father and my own family.

And, thank you, LdiJ, for actually understanding my situation and for your help.

Think whatever you like.

We question motives ALL THE TIME. We make decisions about who to help and who to ignore, based entirely (sometimes) upon their obvious motive/s.

You don't drive this bus. Don't tell us how to respond. Hire an attorney if you feel snippy about the FREE volunteers here.

 

[awp69]

Think whatever you like.

We question motives ALL THE TIME. We make decisions about who to help and who to ignore, based entirely (sometimes) upon their obvious motive/s.

You don't drive this bus. Don't tell us how to respond. Hire an attorney if you feel snippy about the FREE volunteers here.

Obvious motives? Wow there are some really compassionate people on this board. Go read up on bi-polar disease and how horrible it can be to deal with both for the person with it and their family members. It's the responses to that that are being snippy and judgemental when I have hardly slept in weeks because of this. And have endured this pain all of my life.

 

[Zigner]

Think whatever you like.

We question motives ALL THE TIME. We make decisions about who to help and who to ignore, based entirely (sometimes) upon their obvious motive/s.

You don't drive this bus. Don't tell us how to respond. Hire an attorney if you feel snippy about the FREE volunteers here.

One thing I'd like to add is that the OP has no clue what sort of situations the responders here have dealt with in their own personal lives.