Father-son deed legal issues

[Silverplum]

Obvious motives? Wow there are some really compassionate people on this board.

You don't know us in the slightest.

Hire an attorney.

 

[awp69]

You don't know us in the slightest.

Hire an attorney.

And you don't know me or my father in the slightest. Thus the reason why I am upset that I am being attacked for trying to protect my father and my family.

 

[Zigner]

And you don't know me or my father in the slightest. Thus the reason why I am upset that I am being attacked for trying to protect my father and my family.

How are you protecting your family (aside from your father?)

 

[LdiJ]

I have...and for some reason, this thread gives me a feeling that we're not dealing with questionable competency, rather, just questionable choices. There is a difference. The man in question has been making "questionable" financial decisions his entire life, so why the concern now? Furthermore, he apparently has a pretty good revenue stream. You don't usually get that by making unwise financial decisions.

Someone with a good revenue stream has no business at all doing a reverse mortgage. Also, what I have been taking from this thread is that mom kept dad in check for most of his life, and that his uncontrolled bio-polar is now due to mom no longer being there to keep him in check and make sure he takes his medications.

Also, someone who made great decisions all his life is not necessarily going to be making those same great decisions at 76.

 

[awp69]

How are you protecting your family (aside from your father?)

I'm protecting my family by trying to deal wiith this without tearing the whole family apart. I have children. Children that I would like their grandfather to see.

 

[single317dad]

I refer back to my post #3 in this thread. You can avoid all the back-and-forth and all the hurt feelings by simply following that advice, or hiring an attorney to handle the process for you.

 

[Zigner]

Someone with a good revenue stream has no business at all doing a reverse mortgage. Also, what I have been taking from this thread is that mom kept dad in check for most of his life, and that his uncontrolled bio-polar is now due to mom no longer being there to keep him in check and make sure he takes his medications.

Also, someone who made great decisions all his life is not necessarily going to be making those same great decisions at 76.

The POINT is that the OP is basing his attempt at controlling his father's affairs on the decision-making of a man who has a history of making the same "questionable" decisions throughout his life. There has been no change...no worsening of his condition.

 

[Zigner]

I refer back to my post #3 in this thread. You can avoid all the back-and-forth and all the hurt feelings by simply following that advice, or hiring an attorney to handle the process for you.

Very true - the OP will need to make his case to the court.

 

[awp69]

Someone with a good revenue stream has no business at all doing a reverse mortgage. Also, what I have been taking from this thread is that mom kept dad in check for most of his life, and that his uncontrolled bio-polar is now due to mom no longer being there to keep him in check and make sure he takes his medications.

Also, someone who made great decisions all his life is not necessarily going to be making those same great decisions at 76.

Exactly. My mother was a saint for all that she did for my father. She left him several times, but always came back. Always tried to help him and ensure that he was getting the right treatments. And even when he would threaten her both physically and mentally, she rose above to try to conquer his illness.

Now, he doesn't have someone to be there to do this. And over the past few years since my mother passed away, he has swayed from extreme highs and extreme lows. He doesn't want to be told what to do. Nobody does, but with his condition, he sees no reason.

 

[Zigner]

Exactly. My mother was a saint for all that she did for my father. She left him several times, but always came back. Always tried to help him and ensure that he was getting the right treatments. And even when he would threaten her both physically and mentally, she rose above to try to conquer his illness.

Now, he doesn't have someone to be there to do this. And over the past few years since my mother passed away, he has swayed from extreme highs and extreme lows. He doesn't want to be told what to do. Nobody does, but with his condition, he sees no reason.

That is the trouble with your case. You say that he sees no reason. He says that he can make his own decision for his own reasons.

Do as single317dad says...

 

[awp69]

The POINT is that the OP is basing his attempt at controlling his father's affairs on the decision-making of a man who has a history of making the same "questionable" decisions throughout his life. There has been no change...no worsening of his condition.

There ABSOLUTELY has been a worsening of his condition. He has no one there making sure his condition is under control.

So, no, there is no comparision between the decisions he made before my mother died of cancer. He is completely out of control now.

Anyway, I have spoken to an actual attorney who does not believe he has a case and understands what I am going through. She will be there when and if I need her in a legal capacity. I don't want to have my father put in a home, but it may come to that just to ensure his own safety and well-being.

 

[Zigner]

There ABSOLUTELY has been a worsening of his condition. He has no one there making sure his condition is under control.

So, no, there is no comparision between the decisions he made before my mother died of cancer. He is completely out of control now.

Anyway, I have spoken to an actual attorney who does not believe he has a case and understands what I am going through. She will be there when and if I need her in a legal capacity. I don't want to have my father put in a home, but it may come to that just to ensure his own safety and well-being.

I wish you (both) luck. You (both) will need it.

 

[OK-LL]

I don't see how blocking your father from using his home equity (or any reason) via a reverse mortgage is saving him from destitution & homelessness, which is the premise with which you started this thread. With a reverse mortgage he will have his home to live in for the rest of his life, or until he has to move permanently to a care-facility. He will also have the (albeit temporary) pleasure of using the home equity to buy things he wants to buy, a privilege a person should have earned by the time he is in his 70s. The only thing you preserve by blocking your father in this way is your inheritance interest in the house (whether you are tenants in common or joint tenants, doesn't matter).

Unless you have an actual plan to use the house equity to pay for a private care-facility (and it's unlikely an average house would even come close to matching the cost of such care), your interest in the house and your worry about the reverse mortgage (for the reasons you stated) is misplaced. If your plan is to put him in a state-funded care-facility, he will be accepted with or without the house, and in fact the house would be liened by the facility to underwrite the state's investment in his care (and if this happens within X years of you receiving the transferred interest, your interest may be taken by the state because transferring interest in property prior to entry into a state-funded care facility is prohibited).

So either way, you don't get to keep the house and he's no better or worse off if he takes a reverse mortgage on it -- except that he benefits by the pleasure spending the money gives him. It seems petty to deny him that pleasure, since you have no financial investment in the house and it was his own hard work and money that bought it.

 

[awp69]

I think I need to go to a bi-polar support forum. No one here seems to understand that I have absolutely no interest in his home.

If my father was not bi-polar, I would agree with everyone that thinks I should let him get a reverse mortgage, get off the deed, and let him enjoy his final years.

But what may seem "petty" to others, is painful for me. Don't you think I would love nothing more than for my father to have a happy life?

It's not that simple with bi-polar. It isn't just toys and cruises that I worry about. He already has had women, who he wanted companionship with, take advantage of him, sucking thousands of dollars from him. He has spent nights in jail for acting out due to his illness.

This is much more than just a situation of letting a man make his own decisions. It's about his bipolar taking away the ability to make the right ones. And those decisions could have a huge impact on his finances whether anyone here wants to believe it.

But clearly I am in the wrong place. I think I need more help dealing with the emotions that come with all of this than I do with the actual financial part of it.

 

[LdiJ]

I think I need to go to a bi-polar support forum. No one here seems to understand that I have absolutely no interest in his home.

If my father was not bi-polar, I would agree with everyone that thinks I should let him get a reverse mortgage, get off the deed, and let him enjoy his final years.

But what may seem "petty" to others, is painful for me. Don't you think I would love nothing more than for my father to have a happy life?

It's not that simple with bi-polar. It isn't just toys and cruises that I worry about. He already has had women, who he wanted companionship with, take advantage of him, sucking thousands of dollars from him. He has spent nights in jail for acting out due to his illness.

This is much more than just a situation of letting a man make his own decisions. It's about his bipolar taking away the ability to make the right ones. And those decisions could have a huge impact on his finances whether anyone here wants to believe it.

But clearly I am in the wrong place. I think I need more help dealing with the emotions that come with all of this than I do with the actual financial part of it.

For what it's worth, I think that you are doing the right thing. Good luck.