Infidelity investigations

[thewife1972]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

I have reasonable indications that my husband has been having an affair, and would like to talk to a lawyer about legal separation. Do lawyers investigate (or hire investigators) further to gain proof of the affair (such as pictures, etc.) or is that something that has to be done on my own?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

I have reasonable indications that my husband has been having an affair, and would like to talk to a lawyer about legal separation. Do lawyers investigate (or hire investigators) further to gain proof of the affair (such as pictures, etc.) or is that something that has to be done on my own?

I don't know.

But there's no point to doing so, as adultery is not one of the grounds for divorce in your state. See here: https://www.hg.org/divorce-law-indiana.html

 

[commentator]

Yep, any good attorney is going to tell you to pretty much forget about it as a tool in the divorce court arsenal. No one cares. If you want a divorce, push forward, but don't think that to get one you need eight by ten glossies of your husband coming out of the motel room, because frankly, the judge won't want to hear about it, it will actually have little to do with anything related to who gets what or who gets custody. Those days are over.

 

[Proserpina]

Adultery can can become a factor in property division if it can be shown the party was spending marital funds on the affair, and it can be a consideration in deciding custody.

From the previously mentioned site:

The conduct of the parties during the marriage as related to the disposition or dissipation of their property;

From Indiana attorney:

The only way adultery might have much of impact on how assets are distributed would be if one person used certain marital assets to support the extra-marital relationship. So for instance, if your husband takes money out of your joint checking account to provide some sort of support to his mistress, the judge may take that into consideration when deciding how to divvy up the property.

When it comes to child custody, the judge may take into consideration the conduct of the cheating spouse and its impact on the children when deciding where the children should stay. Then again, a judge may decide that conduct was a wrong done only to the other spouse - not the children.

There is no simple yes or no here.

 

[commentator]

All true. But I've just seen so many wronged spouses who have the impression that if they can prove their mate is unfaithful, (and they weren't!) they can pretty much write their own ticket in the court system. You can sure waste a lot of time and mental energy (not to mention money) on proving that your spouse is unfaithful.

 

[Proserpina]

It's not our place to tell her it won't matter when it actually can matter a great deal.

Any good attorney would not throw out the idea right from the start.

 

[single317dad]

Infidelity can, and sometimes does, matter in divorce. When it matters the most (and most often) is when we're talking about the highest wealth brackets where (typically) a husband has provided his floozy with a convertible, jewelry, and/or an off-campus apartment so he doesn't have to face the knowing stares of his young mistress's dorm mates. Folks that wealthy should head immediately to the attorney of their choice and never waste their time doing their own legal research.

 

[latigo]

Adultery can can become a factor in property division if it can be shown the party was spending marital funds on the affair, and it can be a consideration in deciding custody.

Apparently this "Indiana attorney" was in desperate need of filler for his less than informative blog.

And my guess is that said attorney has never been involved in a case in which (as here) a spouse's clandestine trysts had any effect whatsoever on property distribution or child custody!

In this neck of the woods judges pay no heed to extra marital activity; open or surreptitious. There are train loads of promiscuous divorcees about receiving child support and owning the once marital home.

 

[Bali Hai]

Infidelity can, and sometimes does, matter in divorce. When it matters the most (and most often) is when we're talking about the highest wealth brackets where (typically) a husband has provided his floozy with a convertible, jewelry, and/or an off-campus apartment so he doesn't have to face the knowing stares of his young mistress's dorm mates. Folks that wealthy should head immediately to the attorney of their choice and never waste their time doing their own legal research.

Interesting that you use the scoundel dog husband as an example. Do you have a wifey pooh example? Didn't think so.

 

[Zigner]

Interesting that you use the scoundel dog husband as an example. Do you have a wifey pooh example? Didn't think so.

Of course, the example would apply equally if the genders were reversed -

 

[LdiJ]

It's not our place to tell her it won't matter when it actually can matter a great deal.

Any good attorney would not throw out the idea right from the start.

I agree that it CAN matter, I also agree with singledad that it rarely matters at all unless we are talking about fairly wealthy individuals, in Indiana.

 

[Proserpina]

Apparently this "Indiana attorney" was in desperate need of filler for his less than informative blog.

And my guess is that said attorney has never been involved in a case in which (as here) a spouse's clandestine trysts had any effect whatsoever on property distribution or child custody!

In this neck of the woods judges pay no heed to extra marital activity; open or surreptitious. There are train loads of promiscuous divorcees about receiving child support and owning the once marital home.

In Bartrom v. Adjustment Bureau, 618 N.E.2d 1 (Ind. 1993), the Indiana Supreme Court was faced with the question of whether the elimination of fault-based divorce laws meant that marital misconduct couldn’t be considered in alimony cases anymore. The court decided that adultery and other kinds of marital misconduct could be considered by any judge who has the responsibility to decide alimony issues. The only limitation is that judges can’t apply the laws unfairly by discriminating on the basis of a person’s gender.

Still cited during "normal", "old-fashioned" divorce proceedings.

Money talks.