Single Mother Looking for Options

[scrosby7]

My husband was stationed in northern CA for the Air Force and our children and myself were with him. Without giving all of the gritty details, it ended up that I left with the children and he filed for divorce in CA in early 2013. Keep in mind, we are now and have always been residents of FL, were married in FL, and had both of our children in FL. We were only in CA due to the military. By some stroke of life being a terrible joke, my husband won initial custody of the children. By Fall 2013, he decided to do an Order and Stipulation of Child Custody agreement with me giving me physical custody of the children in FL during the school years, with them going to him for major holidays/summer, and which granted us shared legal custody. Due to long, drawn-out, and excruciatingly annoying life circumstances, it is now August of 2015 and we are still married. However.... he is now out of the military and we are all back in FL. I need to know how I would go about getting our case (all filings, orders, ownership of the case, etc...) moved to FL so that it no longer has any affiliation with CA. It's too difficult to live in the one place and have the case in the other. Also... if it needs to be done in CA, is there a way I could get a pro bono lawyer in CA to work the case even though I can't get out there to hire one in person?

Thank you in advance for any information anyone may have!

-SC

 

[Silverplum]

My husband was stationed in northern CA for the Air Force and our children and myself were with him. Without giving all of the gritty details, it ended up that I left with the children and he filed for divorce in CA in early 2013. Keep in mind, we are now and have always been residents of FL, were married in FL, and had both of our children in FL. We were only in CA due to the military. By some stroke of life being a terrible joke, my husband won initial custody of the children. By Fall 2013, he decided to do an Order and Stipulation of Child Custody agreement with me giving me physical custody of the children in FL during the school years, with them going to him for major holidays/summer, and which granted us shared legal custody. Due to long, drawn-out, and excruciatingly annoying life circumstances, it is now August of 2015 and we are still married. However.... he is now out of the military and we are all back in FL. I need to know how I would go about getting our case (all filings, orders, ownership of the case, etc...) moved to FL so that it no longer has any affiliation with CA. It's too difficult to live in the one place and have the case in the other. Also... if it needs to be done in CA, is there a way I could get a pro bono lawyer in CA to work the case even though I can't get out there to hire one in person?

Thank you in advance for any information anyone may have!

-SC

You can file a motion to move the case.

Lawyers don't work for free. Neither do plumbers, truckers, or court clerks.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

My husband was stationed in northern CA for the Air Force and our children and myself were with him. Without giving all of the gritty details, it ended up that I left with the children and he filed for divorce in CA in early 2013. Keep in mind, we are now and have always been residents of FL, were married in FL, and had both of our children in FL. We were only in CA due to the military. By some stroke of life being a terrible joke, my husband won initial custody of the children. By Fall 2013, he decided to do an Order and Stipulation of Child Custody agreement with me giving me physical custody of the children in FL during the school years, with them going to him for major holidays/summer, and which granted us shared legal custody. Due to long, drawn-out, and excruciatingly annoying life circumstances, it is now August of 2015 and we are still married. However.... he is now out of the military and we are all back in FL. I need to know how I would go about getting our case (all filings, orders, ownership of the case, etc...) moved to FL so that it no longer has any affiliation with CA. It's too difficult to live in the one place and have the case in the other. Also... if it needs to be done in CA, is there a way I could get a pro bono lawyer in CA to work the case even though I can't get out there to hire one in person?

Thank you in advance for any information anyone may have!

-SC

What you are looking for is to domesticate your order to Florida since it is an inconvenient venue for all parties. If you two can agree to a parenting plan, you can modify it once Florida takes the order.

If you agree, you can file a stipulated agreement. It is required to have the necessary verbiage that Florida wants in their court orders. A judge can throw out an agreement that is not reasonable.

 

[scrosby7]

You can file a motion to move the case.

Lawyers don't work for free. Neither do plumbers, truckers, or court clerks.

While your response is appreciated, your effort at sarcasm could use more tact. For five years I have been pushed around and backed into corners by my verbally and emotionally abusive and manipulative husband. That's not even mentioning the multiple affairs. He has kept me financially lacking and I don't find it at all unreasonable to ask if there might be a way I could get it worked on pro bono. I don't have very many options available to me. So, thank you for your answer, but maybe be a little more considerate with your words next time, please.

 

[Zigner]

What you are looking for is to domesticate your order to Florida since it is an inconvenient venue for all parties. If you two can agree to a parenting plan, you can modify it once Florida takes the order.

If you agree, you can file a stipulated agreement. It is required to have the necessary verbiage that Florida wants in their court orders. A judge can throw out an agreement that is not reasonable.

The OP is looking to have the entire (ongoing) case transferred to FL

 

[scrosby7]

What you are looking for is to domesticate your order to Florida since it is an inconvenient venue for all parties. If you two can agree to a parenting plan, you can modify it once Florida takes the order.

If you agree, you can file a stipulated agreement. It is required to have the necessary verbiage that Florida wants in their court orders. A judge can throw out an agreement that is not reasonable.

So, what if he doesn't agree to change the venue simply because he knows the CA court favors him? And you were speaking of FL verbiage... is there a specific place you found that which you could direct me to? Or maybe do you think a pro se coordinator would be able to help me with that?

Thank you very much for your response, I really appreciate it!

-SC

 

[Zigner]

While your response is appreciated, your effort at sarcasm could use more tact. For five years I have been pushed around and backed into corners by my verbally and emotionally abusive and manipulative husband. That's not even mentioning the multiple affairs. He has kept me financially lacking and I don't find it at all unreasonable to ask if there might be a way I could get it worked on pro bono. I don't have very many options available to me. So, thank you for your answer, but maybe be a little more considerate with your words next time, please.

Do you REALLY think that your choices would somehow, magically, make financial matters change? It is perfectly valid to point out that that it is unreasonable to expect somebody to do this sort of work for free. You CHOSE to remain in the relationship.

 

[Just Blue]

While your response is appreciated, your effort at sarcasm could use more tact. For five years I have been pushed around and backed into corners by my verbally and emotionally abusive and manipulative husband. That's not even mentioning the multiple affairs. He has kept me financially lacking and I don't find it at all unreasonable to ask if there might be a way I could get it worked on pro bono. I don't have very many options available to me. So, thank you for your answer, but maybe be a little more considerate with your words next time, please.

sigh....

Lawyers, plumbers and electricians do not work for free. That is a LEGAL FACT. As this is a legal advice site ...Silvers post was spot on.

If you want "a little more considerations with words"? Hire someone to give those considerate words to you.


FA Members are VOLUNTEERS. We "work" for FREE.

With that said...If you don't like the advice given feel free to pay for advice.

Have a nice day
Blue

 

[scrosby7]

Do you REALLY think that your choices would somehow, magically, make financial matters change? It is perfectly valid to point out that that it is unreasonable to expect somebody to do this sort of work for free. You CHOSE to remain in the relationship.

I am not "choosing" to stay in the relationship. If you had ever been in an abusive relationship such as mine where young children were involved, you would understand that. I have been doing everything in my power to get away. He likes holding the children and the fact that he has the means to actually retain a lawyer, should he so choose, over my head.

Also, for the second time, I am not EXPECTING someone do this for free, I simply asked if it was possible someone might take it on pro bono. That is not unheard of. But degrading me for finally trying to stand up for myself and do what I can is not helping. Thank you for taking time to point all of that out, though.

 

[scrosby7]

sigh....

Lawyers, plumbers and electricians do not work for free. That is a LEGAL FACT. As this is a legal advice site ...Silvers post was spot on.

If you want "a little more considerations with words"? Hire someone to give those considerate words to you.


FA Members are VOLUNTEERS. We "work" for FREE.

With that said...If you don't like the advice given feel free to pay for advice.

Have a nice day
Blue

In all fairness, I thanked him for the advice he DID give. I do appreciate that as I am dealing with this all on my own with no way of retaining a lawyer myself currently. I'm just saying, if you're giving advice, don't be crass about it. There's no need to make people who are already down feel even worse. I appreciate your input, but unless you can tell me what the form is that I need to file in the CA court to get the case moved to FL, then have a nice day, as well, Blue.

 

[Zigner]

In all fairness, I thanked him for the advice he DID give. I do appreciate that as I am dealing with this all on my own with no way of retaining a lawyer myself currently. I'm just saying, if you're giving advice, don't be crass about it. There's no need to make people who are already down feel even worse. I appreciate your input, but unless you can tell me what the form is that I need to file in the CA court to get the case moved to FL, then have a nice day, as well, Blue.

There likely isn't a specific form.

 

[Just Blue]

I am not "choosing" to stay in the relationship. If you had ever been in an abusive relationship such as mine where young children were involved, you would understand that. I have been doing everything in my power to get away. He likes holding the children and the fact that he has the means to actually retain a lawyer, should he so choose, over my head.

Also, for the second time, I am not EXPECTING someone do this for free, I simply asked if it was possible someone might take it on pro bono. That is not unheard of. But degrading me for finally trying to stand up for myself and do what I can is not helping. Thank you for taking time to point all of that out, though.

If you want help, for free, go to a DV clinic and they will point you to free resources. If you want to VOLUNTEERS here to assist I suggest you stop venting you anger at their "blunt speech" and READ what they say. Be polite.

BTADT with what you are going through...The problem is not on this site it is with your relationship. Please direct your anger at the right person.

 

[Just Blue]

In all fairness, I thanked him for the advice he DID give. I do appreciate that as I am dealing with this all on my own with no way of retaining a lawyer myself currently. I'm just saying, if you're giving advice, don't be crass about it. There's no need to make people who are already down feel even worse. I appreciate your input, but unless you can tell me what the form is that I need to file in the CA court to get the case moved to FL, then have a nice day, as well, Blue.

Silver is not a "he" dear.

 

[scrosby7]

There likely isn't a specific form.

Hmm... Maybe that's why I'm not finding it on the ca.gov site. How frustrating. Thank you for that insight, Zigner, I did not think about that possibility.

 

[scrosby7]

If you want help, for free, go to a DV clinic and they will point you to free resources. If you want to VOLUNTEERS here to assist I suggest you stop venting you anger at their "blunt speech" and READ what they say. Be polite.

BTADT with what you are going through...The problem is not on this site it is with your relationship. Please direct your anger at the right person.

Trust me, if I was in CA I would be all over their Legal Aid department asking about everything I need. Problem is, they won't speak to you over the phone. I get that from a legal standpoint since I could be anyone calling claiming to be me. Just sucks on my end to have to deal with it. I've been to places here in FL, as well, but they, of course, cannot assist with a CA case. Also understandable but frustrating.

I apologize if you feel I've been rude... I've been thanking you guys for your volunteered information and simply asking that I not be spoken down to. And yes, plenty of my anger gets directed at the right place. I'm sorry if you felt it was toward you, I'm just tired of the run around I've been put through with all of this and that no one in either state seems to be able to help me. I'm a damn good mother who got stuck in a crappy situation and had a really hard time digging herself out of it. It happens. But I feel like there should be something implemented somewhere to help mothers like me. If you knew my husband, you'd understand. He somehow gets everyone in his pocket just by being good with words. It is insanely frustrating to be on the negative end of that.

Also, I do not know what BTADT means, but thank you for speaking with me. I do appreciate it.