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girlfriend's parents neglecting her serious medical problem

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Technetium

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

Posting this here even though I'm not sure it's the right sub-forum, there doesn't seem to be a sub-forum that feels right for discussing neglect.

Okay, let me start by saying that my girlfriend is 17 and in Massachusetts the legal age of consent is 16. I am a bit older (never mind how much), but it's not against the law, her family approves of the relationship, and it's not the more serious matter to discuss right now. The only reason I mention it at all is that it's necessary to establish that my girlfriend is basically at the mercy of her legal guardian (her grandmother) when it comes to this problem.

Of her last 4 periods, each were less than 2 weeks apart. They have all been heavy periods with a lot of blood loss. This is really abnormal. The three other adult women in the household (there are 13 people living there) all have a hereditary condition called Endometriosis, which causes tissue normally in the uterus to grow elsewhere. This is a condition that can't be cured but can be greatly mitigated with medical treatment. She's almost positive that the abnormal periods are a sign that she has it as well. But she has never been tested for it. She has actually never been to a gynocologist in her life. She has told her mom that she has had too many periods lately but her mom laughed at her (a good example of why she's not her guardian). She told her grandmother, who promised to schedule a medical appointment for her, but that never happened, even when she has been reminded constantly. Now with the newest period starting only 7 days after the last one ended, my girlfriend is really scared. You can actually get anemia and die from too much menstrual bleeding, although it's very rare.

What I want to know is:
1. There is a hospital in walking distance of where she lives. If she walks there by herself, and explains her medical crisis, will they do an examination and help her, or does that require her grandmother's consent? It seems crazy that she could be denied treatment for a serious medical emergency simply because her grandmother hasn't given the okay to treat it. And if they will see her, will they just send the hospital bill back to her grandmother?
2. What about the neglect issue? Doesn't her grandmother have a legal responsibility to help her? My girlfriend is worried that she might be taken away from the house entirely and put into some foster house until she is 18, and that scares her even more than the medical issue.
3. Can I bring her in for treatment? I think I probably can't, because I'm not her legal guardian.

What can she do?
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
You have got to be pushing 30. Leave the child alone...REALLY

ETA: Post Hx...OP says he worked for the IRS in 2004.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

Posting this here even though I'm not sure it's the right sub-forum, there doesn't seem to be a sub-forum that feels right for discussing neglect.

Okay, let me start by saying that my girlfriend is 17 and in Massachusetts the legal age of consent is 16. I am a bit older (never mind how much), but it's not against the law, her family approves of the relationship, and it's not the more serious matter to discuss right now. The only reason I mention it at all is that it's necessary to establish that my girlfriend is basically at the mercy of her legal guardian (her grandmother) when it comes to this problem.

Of her last 4 periods, each were less than 2 weeks apart. They have all been heavy periods with a lot of blood loss. This is really abnormal. The three other adult women in the household (there are 13 people living there) all have a hereditary condition called Endometriosis, which causes tissue normally in the uterus to grow elsewhere. This is a condition that can't be cured but can be greatly mitigated with medical treatment. She's almost positive that the abnormal periods are a sign that she has it as well. But she has never been tested for it. She has actually never been to a gynocologist in her life. She has told her mom that she has had too many periods lately but her mom laughed at her (a good example of why she's not her guardian). She told her grandmother, who promised to schedule a medical appointment for her, but that never happened, even when she has been reminded constantly. Now with the newest period starting only 7 days after the last one ended, my girlfriend is really scared. You can actually get anemia and die from too much menstrual bleeding, although it's very rare.

What I want to know is:
1. There is a hospital in walking distance of where she lives. If she walks there by herself, and explains her medical crisis, will they do an examination and help her, or does that require her grandmother's consent? It seems crazy that she could be denied treatment for a serious medical emergency simply because her grandmother hasn't given the okay to treat it. And if they will see her, will they just send the hospital bill back to her grandmother?
2. What about the neglect issue? Doesn't her grandmother have a legal responsibility to help her? My girlfriend is worried that she might be taken away from the house entirely and put into some foster house until she is 18, and that scares her even more than the medical issue.
3. Can I bring her in for treatment? I think I probably can't, because I'm not her legal guardian.

What can she do?
She "might" be able to consent for treatment for this particular issue because its a reproductive issue, but that could be a stretch. Are there any Planned Parenthood clinics in the area? They will help with lots of female reproductive parts issues even if its not related to pregnancy planning or avoidance. If they cannot help her, they might be able to refer her to someone who can.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

Posting this here even though I'm not sure it's the right sub-forum, there doesn't seem to be a sub-forum that feels right for discussing neglect.

Okay, let me start by saying that my girlfriend is 17 and in Massachusetts the legal age of consent is 16. I am a bit older (never mind how much), but it's not against the law, her family approves of the relationship, and it's not the more serious matter to discuss right now. The only reason I mention it at all is that it's necessary to establish that my girlfriend is basically at the mercy of her legal guardian (her grandmother) when it comes to this problem.

Of her last 4 periods, each were less than 2 weeks apart. They have all been heavy periods with a lot of blood loss. This is really abnormal. The three other adult women in the household (there are 13 people living there) all have a hereditary condition called Endometriosis, which causes tissue normally in the uterus to grow elsewhere. This is a condition that can't be cured but can be greatly mitigated with medical treatment. She's almost positive that the abnormal periods are a sign that she has it as well. But she has never been tested for it. She has actually never been to a gynocologist in her life. She has told her mom that she has had too many periods lately but her mom laughed at her (a good example of why she's not her guardian). She told her grandmother, who promised to schedule a medical appointment for her, but that never happened, even when she has been reminded constantly. Now with the newest period starting only 7 days after the last one ended, my girlfriend is really scared. You can actually get anemia and die from too much menstrual bleeding, although it's very rare.

What I want to know is:
1. There is a hospital in walking distance of where she lives. If she walks there by herself, and explains her medical crisis, will they do an examination and help her, or does that require her grandmother's consent? It seems crazy that she could be denied treatment for a serious medical emergency simply because her grandmother hasn't given the okay to treat it. And if they will see her, will they just send the hospital bill back to her grandmother?
2. What about the neglect issue? Doesn't her grandmother have a legal responsibility to help her? My girlfriend is worried that she might be taken away from the house entirely and put into some foster house until she is 18, and that scares her even more than the medical issue.
3. Can I bring her in for treatment? I think I probably can't, because I'm not her legal guardian.

What can she do?


1. If there is a medical emergency, then the hospital will treat her.

That's the only question requiring an answer.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

Posting this here even though I'm not sure it's the right sub-forum, there doesn't seem to be a sub-forum that feels right for discussing neglect.

Okay, let me start by saying that my girlfriend is 17 and in Massachusetts the legal age of consent is 16. I am a bit older (never mind how much), but it's not against the law, her family approves of the relationship, and it's not the more serious matter to discuss right now. The only reason I mention it at all is that it's necessary to establish that my girlfriend is basically at the mercy of her legal guardian (her grandmother) when it comes to this problem.

Of her last 4 periods, each were less than 2 weeks apart. They have all been heavy periods with a lot of blood loss. This is really abnormal. The three other adult women in the household (there are 13 people living there) all have a hereditary condition called Endometriosis, which causes tissue normally in the uterus to grow elsewhere. This is a condition that can't be cured but can be greatly mitigated with medical treatment. She's almost positive that the abnormal periods are a sign that she has it as well. But she has never been tested for it. She has actually never been to a gynocologist in her life. She has told her mom that she has had too many periods lately but her mom laughed at her (a good example of why she's not her guardian). She told her grandmother, who promised to schedule a medical appointment for her, but that never happened, even when she has been reminded constantly. Now with the newest period starting only 7 days after the last one ended, my girlfriend is really scared. You can actually get anemia and die from too much menstrual bleeding, although it's very rare.

What I want to know is:
1. There is a hospital in walking distance of where she lives. If she walks there by herself, and explains her medical crisis, will they do an examination and help her, or does that require her grandmother's consent? It seems crazy that she could be denied treatment for a serious medical emergency simply because her grandmother hasn't given the okay to treat it. And if they will see her, will they just send the hospital bill back to her grandmother?
2. What about the neglect issue? Doesn't her grandmother have a legal responsibility to help her? My girlfriend is worried that she might be taken away from the house entirely and put into some foster house until she is 18, and that scares her even more than the medical issue.
3. Can I bring her in for treatment? I think I probably can't, because I'm not her legal guardian.

What can she do?
The child that you are dating, legally or not, is able to go to a Doctor and be examined. I would suggest you do the same.

Sckeevy OP. :(
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
FYI given the the "age of consent" has absolutely nothing to do with anything in this post, I would very much like to know just why the OP found it necessary to mention it.
 

Technetium

Junior Member
FYI given the the "age of consent" has absolutely nothing to do with anything in this post, I would very much like to know just why the OP found it necessary to mention it.
I didn't think so at first, but her age is relevant since she is still under the control of her grandmother, and since I signed up here in 2005 it's pretty obvious I'm older and someone would have said something anyway, and I wanted to make sure nobody assumed something illegal was going on. I probably could have said "a girl I know" instead, but whatever.

Anyway, thank you to those who replied on-topic. I came here looking for advice on what her legal options are, and that's all I really care to reply to. She's going to make one more attempt to convince her grandmother to bring her in, with the threat that she might go by herself otherwise, and if the grandmother still won't do it, then that's what she is going to do.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I didn't think so at first, but her age is relevant since she is still under the control of her grandmother, and since I signed up here in 2005 it's pretty obvious I'm older and someone would have said something anyway, and I wanted to make sure nobody assumed something illegal was going on. I probably could have said "a girl I know" instead, but whatever.

Anyway, thank you to those who replied on-topic. I came here looking for advice on what her legal options are, and that's all I really care to reply to. She's going to make one more attempt to convince her grandmother to bring her in, with the threat that she might go by herself otherwise, and if the grandmother still won't do it, then that's what she is going to do.
You are a creep. To small a "man" to get a woman his own age. I feel very sad for the child you call "girlfriend". :(
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
Obviously you do not know the difference between the age of consent, which in MA is 16, and the age of majority, which is 18 or older in every state.

Your explanation only makes it worse, and no, you have in no way proven that "nothing illegal is going on".
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Obviously you do not know the difference between the age of consent, which in MA is 16, and the age of majority, which is 18 or older in every state.

Your explanation only makes it worse, and no, you have in no way proven that "nothing illegal is going on".
Bet my last dollar this dweeb has nude pic's on his cell or computer of this child.
 
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