OrageMouse
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina
I live in North Carolina and recently entered into a custody battle with my abusive ex husband after filing for divorce. We have one child, a little girl age 7.
We were married for almost ten years, he was highly abusive, physically and verbally. He killed many of my pets, forced me to watch him have sex with other people, held a gun to my head and many other horrible things. He has an alcohol and substance abuse problem, which I have proof of in the form of text messages. I was too afraid to call the police on him because he told me that as soon as he got out of jail he would kill me, so I have only a few records of his abuse, in the form of text messages and a few pictures, though no police reports.
I left him two years ago when he moved another woman into our house and called her his second wife. I saved up money and moved several states away to be with family, taking the child with me. He had no objections to me leaving, and I have a witness to that fact.
I have been the sole caretaker of the child for two years, he has not sent any support, and I did not go after it due to fear of retaliation. He calls the child sporadically, and has only seen her a handful of times. He stayed in the other state until I filed for divorce and custody earlier this year after he sent me text messages saying he was going to come take the child and that he was going to kill himself.
The divorce was granted and I was granted temporary custody.He moved here without warning after that, and rented a home in the next county over, in a very bad neighborhood. There was a large drug raid across the street from his home just a few days ago and a sex offender lives on the street. I am afraid for our child to be in that home.
The temporary order states that I have custody, and visitation is to be worked out by agreement. I have offered him many times to see the child, offering to pack a picnic for the park or to go out to dinner. He refuses to see the child unless I give her to him overnight, which I do not feel safe doing. He has had four months since the temporary order to see her, and still refuses. He only sees her by going to school and having lunch with her, which he has only done four times in five months. I continue to offer visitation which he does not take. In this time he has taken a two week vacation out of state and bought a brand new car.
I have been the sole caretaker and provider of our child for two years, and was her primary caretaker when we were married. He did not change diapers or take her to do fun things as he called that 'womens work' and has already said that he will rely on his current live in girlfriend to care for her. I have been the one to build us a life from little, I take her to church every Sunday, we have a family fun night, I take her to visit extended family regularly, I pay for all of her medical and dental bills, everything since she was 5. I rented a house in a specific location just to be in the best school district I could. She makes great grades, loves her school and teachers and has lots of friends. She is very happy and has a good life finally away from the violence.
My question is this, he hired a lawyer last week and filed for temporary joint custody and permanent joint custody as well as child support and spousal support. He is requesting custody be split by alternating weeks. He also filed thirty pages of requests for documents and other things, asking for my emails, texts, phone records, social media accounts and computer data for the last two years. There are many errors in the paper work I was served, including his name being incorrect, my county of residence being incorrect, a subpoena for records from said wrong county and many spelling errors. I am very confused about my entire case, what chance he has of being granted 50/50 and what impact all of the mistakes in his paperwork will have on the case.
I am fine with him having visitation with our child if he is serious about being in her life, but so far its only been sporadic and when he feels like it. I don't think that an alternating week schedule is a good idea for a young school child when he lives over 30 minutes away from her school. Ive proposed every other weekend with a midweek dinner "date" if he can prove that he is staying sober, and he turned it down saying he wont settle for less than 50/50 so he does not have to pay child support. He says that he is going to get me for contempt of court for not letting him take the child. Anyway, this was very long and I'm looking for advice on what to do with my case and how to proceed. My lawyer is of little help, and rarely answers my calls which is why I've come here. We have court next week and I am terrified of what is going to happen to the stable, happy life my little girl has.
I live in North Carolina and recently entered into a custody battle with my abusive ex husband after filing for divorce. We have one child, a little girl age 7.
We were married for almost ten years, he was highly abusive, physically and verbally. He killed many of my pets, forced me to watch him have sex with other people, held a gun to my head and many other horrible things. He has an alcohol and substance abuse problem, which I have proof of in the form of text messages. I was too afraid to call the police on him because he told me that as soon as he got out of jail he would kill me, so I have only a few records of his abuse, in the form of text messages and a few pictures, though no police reports.
I left him two years ago when he moved another woman into our house and called her his second wife. I saved up money and moved several states away to be with family, taking the child with me. He had no objections to me leaving, and I have a witness to that fact.
I have been the sole caretaker of the child for two years, he has not sent any support, and I did not go after it due to fear of retaliation. He calls the child sporadically, and has only seen her a handful of times. He stayed in the other state until I filed for divorce and custody earlier this year after he sent me text messages saying he was going to come take the child and that he was going to kill himself.
The divorce was granted and I was granted temporary custody.He moved here without warning after that, and rented a home in the next county over, in a very bad neighborhood. There was a large drug raid across the street from his home just a few days ago and a sex offender lives on the street. I am afraid for our child to be in that home.
The temporary order states that I have custody, and visitation is to be worked out by agreement. I have offered him many times to see the child, offering to pack a picnic for the park or to go out to dinner. He refuses to see the child unless I give her to him overnight, which I do not feel safe doing. He has had four months since the temporary order to see her, and still refuses. He only sees her by going to school and having lunch with her, which he has only done four times in five months. I continue to offer visitation which he does not take. In this time he has taken a two week vacation out of state and bought a brand new car.
I have been the sole caretaker and provider of our child for two years, and was her primary caretaker when we were married. He did not change diapers or take her to do fun things as he called that 'womens work' and has already said that he will rely on his current live in girlfriend to care for her. I have been the one to build us a life from little, I take her to church every Sunday, we have a family fun night, I take her to visit extended family regularly, I pay for all of her medical and dental bills, everything since she was 5. I rented a house in a specific location just to be in the best school district I could. She makes great grades, loves her school and teachers and has lots of friends. She is very happy and has a good life finally away from the violence.
My question is this, he hired a lawyer last week and filed for temporary joint custody and permanent joint custody as well as child support and spousal support. He is requesting custody be split by alternating weeks. He also filed thirty pages of requests for documents and other things, asking for my emails, texts, phone records, social media accounts and computer data for the last two years. There are many errors in the paper work I was served, including his name being incorrect, my county of residence being incorrect, a subpoena for records from said wrong county and many spelling errors. I am very confused about my entire case, what chance he has of being granted 50/50 and what impact all of the mistakes in his paperwork will have on the case.
I am fine with him having visitation with our child if he is serious about being in her life, but so far its only been sporadic and when he feels like it. I don't think that an alternating week schedule is a good idea for a young school child when he lives over 30 minutes away from her school. Ive proposed every other weekend with a midweek dinner "date" if he can prove that he is staying sober, and he turned it down saying he wont settle for less than 50/50 so he does not have to pay child support. He says that he is going to get me for contempt of court for not letting him take the child. Anyway, this was very long and I'm looking for advice on what to do with my case and how to proceed. My lawyer is of little help, and rarely answers my calls which is why I've come here. We have court next week and I am terrified of what is going to happen to the stable, happy life my little girl has.
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