Please help decide if to go to court or not!

[Miss_JK]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California


Dear experts!

My boyfriend's wife left him and took his kids with her in 2010. Within these past 5 years they did not have any intimacy and did not live as a couple, but she would bring the kids for about 2 months for summer, living in his house with them, and then take them back to her home country. She filed for divorce in 2014. Question: would the date of separation be 2010 or 2014? Is it worth arguing in court or easier to settle?

Thank you so much in advance for your help,

 

[I'mTheFather]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California


Dear experts!

My boyfriend's wife left him and took his kids with her in 2010. Within these past 5 years they did not have any intimacy and did not live as a couple, but she would bring the kids for about 2 months for summer, living in his house with them, and then take them back to Italy, her home country. She filed for divorce in 2014. Question: would the date of separation be 2010 or 2014? Is it worth arguing in court or easier to settle?

Thank you so much in advance for your help,

Does your boyfriend have an attorney?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

The separation was 2010 unless she visited CA long enough to re-establish legal residency this time. Even then, he never filed anything when she left before so filing now is not going to be of much advantage in a courts eyes.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California


Dear experts!

My boyfriend's wife left him and took his kids with her in 2010. Within these past 5 years they did not have any intimacy and did not live as a couple, but she would bring the kids for about 2 months for summer, living in his house with them, and then take them back to Italy, her home country. She filed for divorce in 2014. Question: would the date of separation be 2010 or 2014? Is it worth arguing in court or easier to settle?

Thank you so much in advance for your help,

Truthfully, this is not your business. It is the business of your boyfriend.

 

[Miss_JK]

Does your boyfriend have an attorney?

He already spent a pile of money in fees for just presenting the case to the judge, and now there is a new judge on the case, which means he'll have to spend even more. His lawyer says it's a very complicated case, and no way to say for sure what the judge's ruling will be regarding the year of separation, so they are trying to settle, but she is asking more and more every time he agrees to her conditions. Is there any general definition of marriage, to support 2010 as the year of separation? They clearly didn't live as husband and wife after 2010, so she is entitled to much less than what she is asking. Her lawyer though, naturally, tells her different and she is getting more and more arrogant.

 

[Zigner]

He already spent a pile of money in fees for just presenting the case to the judge, and now there is a new judge on the case, which means he'll have to spend even more. His lawyer says it's a very complicated case, and no way to say for sure what the judge's ruling will be regarding the year of separation, so they are trying to settle, but she is asking more and more every time he agrees to her conditions. Is there any general definition of marriage, to support 2010 as the year of separation? They clearly didn't live as husband and wife after 2010, so she is entitled to much less than what she is asking. Her lawyer though, naturally, tells her different and she is getting more and more arrogant.

This is none of your business. Your boyfriend needs to be coordinating his strategy with his attorney.

 

[stealth2]

He already spent a pile of money in fees for just presenting the case to the judge, and now there is a new judge on the case, which means he'll have to spend even more. His lawyer says it's a very complicated case, and no way to say for sure what the judge's ruling will be regarding the year of separation, so they are trying to settle, but she is asking more and more every time he agrees to her conditions. Is there any general definition of marriage, to support 2010 as the year of separation? They clearly didn't live as husband and wife after 2010, so she is entitled to much less than what she is asking. Her lawyer though, naturally, tells her different and she is getting more and more arrogant.

This is your adulterous b/f's situation to deal with - not yours. Please have him create his own account and deal with his own situation. Thank you.

 

[Miss_JK]

The separation was 2010 unless she visited CA long enough to re-establish legal residency this time. Even then, he never filed anything when she left before so filing now is not going to be of much advantage in a courts eyes.

Thank you so much for your answer. She has a green card. Is the fact that she left and they didn't live as a couple enough for the judge to rule that the date of separation be 2010? Would witnesses' testimonies be helpful to confirm that? In fact, he invited me to move in with him before she filed for divorce and she did not accuse him of adultery exactly because there was no actual marriage. Would the judge consider this in favor of 2010?

Thank you again for you help.

 

[Zigner]

Thank you so much for your answer. Sadly, she has a green card. Is the fact that she left and they didn't live as a couple enough to decide that the date of separation be 2010?

Have your boyfriend ask his lawyer.


[SUB]Did anyone mention that this is none of your business? Oh yeah...some folks did.[/SUB]

 

[I'mTheFather]

Thank you so much for your answer. Sadly, she has a green card. Is the fact that she left and they didn't live as a couple enough to decide that the date of separation be 2010?

No, date of separation can be a complex issue, and one that is best answered by your boyfriend's attorney.

 

[Miss_JK]

Have your boyfriend ask his lawyer.


[SUB]Did anyone mention that this is none of your business? Oh yeah...some folks did.[/SUB]

Why would I sit here and do this if his lawyer could tell him in advance? All he wants is his money. This is my business because after he divorces we are getting married. His 'wife' has been fooling him for years living at home while he was waiting for her to come back, so there was no adultery. She knows we live together and she doesn't care. She stopped caring back in 2010.

 

[Zigner]

Why would I sit here and do this if his lawyer could tell him in advance?

His attorney is familiar with all of the details on the case. Do you expect a bunch of random strangers to know better?

All he wants is his money. This is my business because after he divorces we are getting married.

So, how is it your business? Oh yeah, you feel that you are somehow entitled to something because you're sleeping with him.

His 'wife' has been fooling him for years living at home while he was waiting for her to come back, so there was no adultery. She knows we live together and she doesn't care. She stopped caring back in 2010.

What a catch you've got.

 

[Miss_JK]

No, date of separation can be a complex issue, and one that is best answered by your boyfriend's attorney.

I see, thank you for the answer.

 

[Miss_JK]

His attorney is familiar with all of the details on the case. Do you expect a bunch of random strangers to know better?


So, how is it your business? Oh yeah, you feel that you are somehow entitled to something because you're sleeping with him.


What a catch you've got.

Excuse me? I'm here to get information to help the guy not to overpay his wife. It's my business because we are getting married after he divorces.
I didn't ask you to give me a full outcome on the case, i only needed one answer to one question. Thank you.

 

[Zigner]

Excuse me? I'm here to get information to help the guy not to overpay his wife. It's my business because we are getting married after he divorces.
I didn't ask you to give me a full outcome on the case, i only needed one answer to one question. Thank you.

Your boyfriend's attorney is the one who can answer the question. Feel free to advise your boyfriend to speak to his attorney.