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Please help decide if to go to court or not!

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Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
That is my reading into this, not his own. He didn't consider himself married to her any longer. The problem was with serving her divorce papers in her home country.
And therein lies the problem. This is not YOUR BUSINESS. YOU don't know about this case and you've inserted your own suppositions. I really can't grasp why you are so reluctant to accept the FACT that your boyfriend is the one that needs to handle his own affairs.
 


Miss_JK

Junior Member
So, if a spouse is deployed overseas and hasn't lived with thier family for a year or more, then they aren't actually married anymore?

Marriage is a legal relationship, not just an emotional one, and if your adulterous lover hasn't done anything to rectify his legal relationship status, then I think that says more about just how much he cares about you than you might care to think.
They are surely married, but not been living together for years, so in my original post I was asking about when the date of separation would be. About whether he cares about me or not, it's of course for me to judge, especially because he has already accepted the divorce and he wants to get rid of her by settling, however, she is asking for unreasonably big sum, considering that she left in 2010.
 
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Miss_JK

Junior Member
And therein lies the problem. This is not YOUR BUSINESS. YOU don't know about this case and you've inserted your own suppositions. I really can't grasp why you are so reluctant to accept the FACT that your boyfriend is the one that needs to handle his own affairs.
Because all this matter affects me. You see, we are not just dating, we've been living together for over a year now and I can't bear watching him being on edge all the time because of what she is doing to him. I know about this case as much as he told me. Despite all this dirt that her lawyer has dragged him through, I have a good relationship with his kids and as soon as he divorces we are getting married. I wish someone on this forum would give me a clear answer what the date of separation is likely to be ruled. Then all this unfairness would stop and he would move on with his life. I could tell you all of the details, but I'm not sure it would help much.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I wish someone on this forum would give me a clear answer what the date of separation is likely to be ruled.
We CAN'T - as you've been told over and over and over and over again! Your boyfriend's attorney is the one who is qualified to advise on the matter. REALLY.
 

Miss_JK

Junior Member
He could have served her every year that she came back for 2 months. The fact that he didn't speaks volumes.
OK, I agree, but as far as I've been told, the problem was with the filing, because she didn't live in CA. He would have to file in her country. The only question is - would he lose in court, arguing that the date of separation is 2010, or it would more likely be 2014? Please, help :(
 
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Miss_JK

Junior Member
We CAN'T - as you've been told over and over and over and over again! Your boyfriend's attorney is the one who is qualified to advise on the matter. REALLY.
He would gladly fire his lawyer, but then he would have to pay again. He can't afford it anymore. Why can't you just say hypothetically if going to court would be the right thing to do or not? If you can't because of lack of info, I will be happy to give it to you :(
 
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I'mTheFather

Senior Member
Why can't you? Is this so hard? :(
It's not just hard, it's impossible. We don't know his judge. We don't know the climate in his particular courtroom. And we certainly don't know all the details that will likely factor into the judge's decision.

However, his lawyer probably does.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Nope, haven't looked to check.


But has anyone mentioned the possibility of an enforceable I-864?

Wouldn't that be just super tomatoes?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
And people wonder why I don't like adulterous women/men who get involved with married individuals who have children. And people also wonder why I really am beginning to hate my job.
 

Miss_JK

Junior Member
Nope, haven't looked to check.


But has anyone mentioned the possibility of an enforceable I-864?

Wouldn't that be just super tomatoes?
That is exactly what would happen anyway, but the result of the assets division would be different, because of the 4 year difference. That is why I started the thread in the first place.
 

Miss_JK

Junior Member
And people wonder why I don't like adulterous women/men who get involved with married individuals who have children. And people also wonder why I really am beginning to hate my job.
He was probably hoping she would come back, but she did not, and it was probably stupid of him to hope, he should have simply filed for divorce, but he didn't do it, because of the kids, in spite the fact that they have stopped living together. In her home country divorce would take 4 years. Are you seriously suggesting he would live alone all this time without any chance of finding a new partner and starting a new life? You are simply being judgmental.
What is the point in that?
 

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