bluedaffodils
Junior Member
Adams County, CO
I filed for child support mod (have another thread about that), and this will likely erupt into a custody battle. I want to try to give a factual timeline with regards to custody etc, to see what you guys think my likely outcome would be in court:
June 2002: Arranged marriage to my cousin. Yes, I know this may sound strange.
June 2014: Moved out to apartment with kids. Agreed to verbal offer from dad to 50/50. Dad moves across the street after sale of his house, about 2 weeks later.
Aug 2014: Temp orders, judge orders status quo to remain same(week on/week off). Homeschooling is contested by dad, but judge allows it to remain as part of status quo. Therapy is also contested by dad, but judge orders children to be seen by therapist. Schedule is: week on/week off, with Dad dropping them off every weekday 8am-6pm for homeschooling. Request for only written communication via Ourfamilywizard contested by dad, and judge does not deem it necessary.
December 2014: CFI scheduled to come, is cancelled last minute by dad, because settlement talks are in the works.
January 2015: Divorce final: I get sole custody, because I was going to relocate overseas. Dad gets 30 days visitation per year, to be requested month in advance in writing. (relocation was dad's idea)
January 2015-January 2016: I did not leave. Kids have been living with me full time. I pick and drop them from school, daycare, activities. I attend plays, doctor's visits, hospital stays. Dad sees them sporadically. When he wants to see them, he will call, and negotiate a time for pick up/drop off.
Dad has work-from-home job. He does have to go out, but mostly schedules his own time. There is a lot of flexibility.
I work mon-fri, admin in a nursing home. My boss is flexible, but it is still an office job. I can flex my time any way I want to make up 40 hours, and the kids are in afterschool care. They also are in swim team, and swim lessons. They have been begging to go to scouting, and I am debating if that's a good idea, because kids need downtime after school too.
Nothing has changed in this schedule. Dad remarried in summer of 2015, so that would be the only major change right now in their lives, but I don't know when that will happen. She is from Pakistan, like him, and I don't know how long the whole immigration stuff will take.
Dad has said in his response to my child support mod, that my calculations are incorrect, because he gets denied visitation, and that he requests 50/50, because he would like to be a part of his sons' lives, since he lives so close to mom, and since he has sleeping accommodations at his place.
The marriage was abusive, physically and otherwise. Kids have been witness to this somewhat, but as time goes on, they seem to be forgetting, which is the way I hope it will always be.
I have no proof of any abuse. His family members were eyewitnesses, but have staunchly denied it.
It is only relevant now because of the kids. 50/50 requires coordination between parents. Because of our history, it is hard for me to communicate with him.
I am trying very hard to move to a better neighborhood, because the schools are terrible. Oldest is going to 8th next year. Moving would put me at minimum 15, and max 40 mins away.
I can give more information as needed, but I am hoping to see what this looks like from an outside perspective.
Thank you for reading
I filed for child support mod (have another thread about that), and this will likely erupt into a custody battle. I want to try to give a factual timeline with regards to custody etc, to see what you guys think my likely outcome would be in court:
June 2002: Arranged marriage to my cousin. Yes, I know this may sound strange.
June 2014: Moved out to apartment with kids. Agreed to verbal offer from dad to 50/50. Dad moves across the street after sale of his house, about 2 weeks later.
Aug 2014: Temp orders, judge orders status quo to remain same(week on/week off). Homeschooling is contested by dad, but judge allows it to remain as part of status quo. Therapy is also contested by dad, but judge orders children to be seen by therapist. Schedule is: week on/week off, with Dad dropping them off every weekday 8am-6pm for homeschooling. Request for only written communication via Ourfamilywizard contested by dad, and judge does not deem it necessary.
December 2014: CFI scheduled to come, is cancelled last minute by dad, because settlement talks are in the works.
January 2015: Divorce final: I get sole custody, because I was going to relocate overseas. Dad gets 30 days visitation per year, to be requested month in advance in writing. (relocation was dad's idea)
January 2015-January 2016: I did not leave. Kids have been living with me full time. I pick and drop them from school, daycare, activities. I attend plays, doctor's visits, hospital stays. Dad sees them sporadically. When he wants to see them, he will call, and negotiate a time for pick up/drop off.
Dad has work-from-home job. He does have to go out, but mostly schedules his own time. There is a lot of flexibility.
I work mon-fri, admin in a nursing home. My boss is flexible, but it is still an office job. I can flex my time any way I want to make up 40 hours, and the kids are in afterschool care. They also are in swim team, and swim lessons. They have been begging to go to scouting, and I am debating if that's a good idea, because kids need downtime after school too.
Nothing has changed in this schedule. Dad remarried in summer of 2015, so that would be the only major change right now in their lives, but I don't know when that will happen. She is from Pakistan, like him, and I don't know how long the whole immigration stuff will take.
Dad has said in his response to my child support mod, that my calculations are incorrect, because he gets denied visitation, and that he requests 50/50, because he would like to be a part of his sons' lives, since he lives so close to mom, and since he has sleeping accommodations at his place.
The marriage was abusive, physically and otherwise. Kids have been witness to this somewhat, but as time goes on, they seem to be forgetting, which is the way I hope it will always be.
I have no proof of any abuse. His family members were eyewitnesses, but have staunchly denied it.
It is only relevant now because of the kids. 50/50 requires coordination between parents. Because of our history, it is hard for me to communicate with him.
I am trying very hard to move to a better neighborhood, because the schools are terrible. Oldest is going to 8th next year. Moving would put me at minimum 15, and max 40 mins away.
I can give more information as needed, but I am hoping to see what this looks like from an outside perspective.
Thank you for reading
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